Duty and Honor
by Personification of Fluff
Summary: Rin, working for Sesshomaru as liason to the humans living in his lands, becomes a matter of personal interest for the demons when they are invaded. What's worse: Inuyasha's daughter is stranded in the Feudal Era!
1. Chapter 1

**Title**: Duty and Honor

**Author**: Personification of Fluff

**Author**: R, for violence and adult situations

**Summary**: Rin is an adult now, working for Sesshomaru as liason to the humans living in his lands. But their relationship, now that of lord and lady, becomes rocky when Sesshomaru's lands are under threat of invasion, and what's worse: Inuyasha's daughter is stranded in the Sengoku Jidai! Will Sesshomaru and Rin finally own up to their true feelings only to leave each other when war erupts, or will duty and honor win out?

**Dramatis Personnae**:

Sesshomaru: Ruler of the land once known as 'Masashi's Domain'

Hatsuhana: A distant relative or Sesshomaru's and rich lord

Captain James Cook: Leader of the European explorers

Jaken: Sesshomaru's personal advisor

Tetsuya: A friendly monk from a village near Arashi's shrine

Kohaku: Arashi's uncle and Kissaki's father, a farmer and ex-demon exterminator

Shippo: A fox-demon orphan

Aun: A loyal, two-headed reptilian steed

Arashi: The priestess of the shrine one day known as the Higurashi shrine

Rin: A lady in Sesshomaru's service

Kaede: A young girl trapped from the future with a demonic heritage

Kissaki: A warrior and demon-exterminator

Hikari: A lady in-waiting in Sesshomaru's court

Sakura: Kissaki's mother, Arashi's aunt

**Author's Notes**: (_reads her cast list_) Oh my God… It's Inuyasha…. All over again… only everyone is female! (No, not really, but I wanted to say it before one of _you_ did!) The premise of this book is a continuation of CaU, explaining what happened in the Sengoku Jidai after Sango and Miroku died. You don't necessarily have to read it to know what happened (for some reason, not everyone is a fan of Sango and Miroku), but it might help. And… yes, they talk funny in the fic. No, I'm not trying to make it sound older by talking like Shakespeare, but I am trying to use proper grammar and give them a more extensive vocabulary. After all, this is a story about court intrigue, and what's the court without aristocracy?

**-1-**

It was all an accident.

I have to make this perfectly clear before I start my story. It was all an accident.

It was accidental that poor Kaede-chan, Kagome and Inuaysha's daughter, became stuck in this world. It was all an accident that she had brought the Tetsusaiga with her, as she always did. The demon blood is stronger, it seems, in the past, when our more dangerous world increases the chance of its power being needed. It was all an accident that I was sent there the morning after Kaede-chan revealed herself to Arashi-sama, and the young priestess knew she had made a mistake.

Everything following these things, I believe, are accidents as well.

And so, you see, I have learned to like accidents very much.

But I suppose that really, this story begins a few weeks before the incidents I have already mentioned.

"Rin."

As soon as anyone hears that tone in Sesshomaru's voice, they know that they're about to get it. I've been hearing that voice since I was eight years old, and given my age when this was happening, it comes to a grand total of twenty-six years that I've been hearing Sesshomaru say 'Rin this' or 'Rin that' in a tone that would have made men twice my age pee their pants in fear. I was born under luck stars, it seemed.

I stood up from my patch of earth I was tending, dusting off my kimono and smiling as Lord Sesshomaru approach me from the castle, our home now for many years, more years than I can remember. "Yes, my lord?" I asked sweetly, being polite as I always was to Sesshomaru. I narrowed my eyes a little as Jaken toddled behind him.

For some reason, I still wanted to throw things at Jaken. A lot. Heavy things, too.

Sesshomaru's gold eyes ran up and down my body as he stood across from me. I held his gaze a moment, and then looked down at the ground. Sometimes, when he looked at me like that, I could almost imagine that it was longing I saw in his eyes for me, but I knew that he would never, ever, want me like that. I didn't even want him like that, not most of the time. But every once in a while, he would look at me, or he would get close enough to me that I would be able to feel the warmth of his body and smell his powerful scent, and I would wish that he would just reach out and hold me and kiss me, and finally, for once, act like I was a fully grown woman and not like an eight year old child!

He gestured towards one of the walking paths littering around our—his, _his_—manicured lawns. "Walk with me, Rin."

Jaken scurried back off toward the mansion, and I obediently followed Sesshomaru around the paths, never more than one step behind him. I looked around at the gardens, simply enjoying the way the sun was beating down on us, heating my skin, and the way the colorful flowers appealed to me. I do so love flowers. I never looked down at the ground when I walked besides Sesshomaru-sama. I was proud to be with, proud to work with, _him_. I had come a long way from being the girl who had to sneak around behind people's backs.

"Rin," Sesshomaru eventually said, when we were far enough away from the house that the demons who worked there wouldn't be able to hear or see us. "Rin, when will you take a human husband and settle down?"

Okay, I had been exaggerating when I said that I wished he would notice I wasn't eight years old anymore. Every year since I had turned thirteen, he had asked me that very question: when would I get a mortal husband and have a child? And every year since I had turned thirteen, I had given him the same answer. He'd asked me once every year, always on the same day: the day that he had brought me back to life.

I couldn't remember when my real birthday was, and so I had always counted that day as my birthday. It was a birth, of sorts. I sighed mentally. 'Congratulations, Rin,' I told myself. 'You're now thirty-four. When will you realize that he's never going to be interested in you? You're human! He doesn't like humans. Not even you, Rin.'

"I will marry a human male when I find one I like," I answered, just as I always did.

"You still haven't found anyone who interests you?"

"No, Sesshomaru-sama, I have not."

He turned around, looking at me. I concentrated on the way his silver hair moved gently back and forth, rather than the way he was looking at me sternly. "Rin, I wish you would go and settle down and have children before your body tires of this life. I would have found a mortal man for you years ago, if I were your father. The fact that I have an unmarried woman your age as a…."

"Pardon me, Lord Sesshomaru," I interrupted, slowly looking at him levelly. He was surprised that I interrupted him. I think the last time that I had cut him off was when I had been sixteen years old and in the middle of a hormonal-storm. After that, no matter how much I wanted to have a mood swing and cut him off, I kept my tongue. I never wanted to see him look that mad at me again.

Now, though, he didn't look mad, he just looked surprised. I was a little shocked myself. But if I ever heard him say the words "if I was your father" again, I think I'd run him through with his own sword. Or maybe I'd just take his other arm. That would be punishment enough.

"Pardon me, but you are _not_ my father. Secondly, you know very well that despite what other aristocratic demons may think of you keeping a human as a retainer, I am worth too much to you politically to ever let me go. If you did, you'd have to train some new human to be able to act accordingly in both human and demon societies to be able to represent you in places where you can't go. Even if you don't age like humans do, it's a waste of valuable energy to train someone new while I am still here, Lord Sesshomaru." I blinked coolly, still keeping my gaze level to his. "Is there anything else you wish to discuss with me, my Lord? If you don't, I do have duties to which to attend."

"And what duties might be so important that they would take you from the company of your lord?"

I felt myself blushing a little bit. "I want to finish tending to my flowers, Sesshomaru-sama."

My voice was softer than it had been before, and my eyes demurely snuck back to look at the direction of my tiny little flower bed. The flowers were beautiful, and apparently came from very far away. They were a fiery shade of yellow-orange, and they grew as tall as my thigh. They were dotted with little black marks, and they smelled beautiful. They grew in that little patch every year since we had first occupied the mansion. I could smell them from my bedroom window, and none of the gardeners were allowed to touch the little row of tiger-lilies if I was away.

I could tell from his silence that he was not impressed with my excuse. I turned back to him, my gaze hovering around the edge of his armor, not quite looking down, but not looking at his eyes either. "I also need to prepare myself for supper, my lord. I don't want to dishonor you by looking improper in front of your guests. I am lucky to be allowed to eat dinner at your table, and I do not want to lose that honor, my lord. After dinner it will be too dark for me to finish my gardening."

"And I want to have another lesson with you as well," Sesshomaru said in his cold voice. If someone didn't know what exactly our lessons were, they might have been afraid for me, but I was already looking forward to after dinner. He turned away from me, continuing to walk along the paths behind the house. "Very well, Rin. Carry on with your plants. I will see you at dinner." He paused a moment, and he glanced over his shoulder at me, his gold eyes capturing my gaze for a moment. "This time, be certain to get the dirt from under your nails. You forgot last time."

I have been very lucky in life since I was eight years old. I can't recall what my luck was like before that. Perhaps people would be worried when I say that I like leaving with the demons that I do, particularly when one meets Jaken or Seshsomaru-sama in one of his moods, but I do like it. I'm lucky. I always have a meal on the table, and a bit of spending money in my purse, and clothes to wear on my back.

Sesshomaru-sama always cares for me… sometimes too much. Since he had gotten back his father's title, once again ruling over the western lands of Nippon, he was always making sure that I had everything I wanted in life. He gave me pretty dresses, and things for my hair… anything a girl could want. I tried thanking him for them many times, and saying that they weren't necessary, but he says they are. As one of his personal servants at the palace and abroad, he says that I need to look proper, otherwise it would make him look bad.

But sometimes… I wonder. When I walked back to my room from the garden, I found another kimono laying out on my bed, waiting for me to wear it to dinner. I sighed when I saw it there, though I smiled. Hikari was already in my room, pulling out some hair things and smiling at me.

"He got you another dress," she teased. I sighed as I shut the screen door, making her laugh. "If you don't like this one, I do. It's a very pretty color, Lady Rin."

"I agree, Hikari-sama," I said, stepping forward and gently touching the silken material. It was a deep shade of red-orange, so that when one held it to the light, it drifted back and forth lazily between the two colors. The way it seemed to flow reminded me of Seshsomaru-sama. He always seemed to flow: the way he moved, the way his hair drifted in the wind, the way his clothes moved… It was also in my favorite color. It was things like that, things that showed his attention to detail, that made me wonder about Sesshomaru-sama sometimes and which kept my hopes kindled even after all these years.

If he really did care about me, if he really didn't want me around, would he go to the trouble of getting me a kimono in my favorite color? Would he go to the trouble of giving me my tiger-lilies? Would he let me play in the garden even though I'm past middle age?

Hikari helped to dress me and do up my hair for supper. She was the woman that Sesshomaru had hired to help me when I was home from around his lands. Sesshomaru-sama had made a nice choice. She was very sweet and polite, and extremely pretty… and extremely human looking for a demon. Sesshomaru-sama looked a little like a very pretty human, for all his pointy ears and his fangs and eyes and the marks on his cheek. Hikari, on the other hand, actually looked human. She had brown eyes which glowed in the night, and the clear, porcelain-like skin many human-demons seemed to have, and this hair that shimmered like mica in the light. She reminded me, actually, a lot of Kagome-sama…

Whom no one ever talked of. No one brought up Kagome-sama, or Sango-sama, or the matter of Lord Sesshomaru's younger half-brother. I haven't heard the name of Inuyasha since Naraku disappeared over two decades ago. At times I wondered if Sesshomaru-sama had forgotten about his half-brother. I doubt that he has, or that he ever will. At even rarer times, though, I wonder why. Does he still want to fight his half-brother, maybe even kill Inuyasha-sama, simply because he doesn't want to have humans in his bloodline? Or does he want to kill Inuyasha because Inuyasha-sama was able to take down Naraku with the help of his adventuring friends and Sesshomaru-sama wants to kill the man able to defeat someone so evil as Naraku?

I suspect the reasons may be quite simpler… Lord Sesshomaru is a complicated man… _demon_, but he is as direct as the rest of us. Sometimes too direct. People are sacred of him, and respect him, and the directness kept people from ever bringing up Kagome and Inuyasha.

When I was ready for dinner, ready to try and look presentable for Sesshomaru-sama and his distinguished guests, I was wearing the red-orange silk kimono he had gotten me. Hikari had somehow managed to pin every one of my thick strands of hair in place. I walked down the hallway with my head held high. I felt proud, and prouder when I saw Sesshomaru-sama standing at the junction of two hallways, waiting for me.

I stuck my hands out for him to inspect when I neared him, smiling childishly up at him. Over thirty and I still only reach his shoulder. "Not a single speck of dirt, Sesshomaru-sama."

"Hm," he replied. His eyes moved up and down my body. I had to bite the inside of my cheek to keep from moving under his intensely golden gaze. "You look presentable," he decided, to which I blushed. Lord Sesshomaru is always sparse with his praise, and even when he does compliment people, they are always simple compliments. I have never heard him say 'pretty', or 'beautiful'.

"Thank you, Sesshomaru-sama."

I walked into the dining room behind him. The guests, already present and seated, stood up respectfully when he entered. I quietly sneaked down to the far end of the darkly colored table. My head was still held high. Sesshomaru-sama took his spot at the head of the table. I smiled at Kouga and Ayame as I walked by them, taking my seat next to the wolf-princess.

Servants began to serve tea and blood-wine. The alcoholic drink went to the demons, the tea to Ayame and I. The fermented drink was far too strong for me to drink. Sometimes the smell of it alone was enough to make me a little bit tipsy. If a demon could actually become intoxicated from it, then it was obviously not meant for human consumption. Besides, I had no palate for blood-wine. Though I had been learning about demon culture since Sesshomaru-sama had raised me, I was human, and I dared not drink blood; that was something demons only did.

Knowing my distaste for the drink, Ayame was kind enough to pass up the chance at the delicacy while I was around, and drank tea with me. Kouga, beside her, drank the blood-wine with the other demons. She said it was because he didn't want the other demons to forget that though Lord Sesshomaru had seized control of this domain, he was still in control of his forests and the wolf clans, and he was the one at the table who had fought both Inuyasha and Naraku and had survived unscathed.

"Ah, Lord Sesshomaru," a demon sighed, interrupting my thoughts. The square-looking demon took a deep gulp from his drink. "When will you have _real_ blood-wine? It's not as if you don't have money enough for it."

Sesshomaru-sama didn't even bat an eye. I, however, stiffened. If the blood-wine they served didn't unsettle my stomach, then thinking about the blood-win which had existed in the time of Sesshomaru-sama's grandfather was absolutely _horrid_. Real blood-wine was traditionally made from human blood. Sesshomaru-sama had his staff make it out of the blood from animals.

"The humans in the land are under our protection," he said simply, leaning back slightly as a servant placed a plate of appetizers before him. "Perhaps in our grandfathers' time demons could kill humans whenever they wanted for whatever reason, but not now. The demon-slayers are being rebuilt, and our numbers are fewer than they were before that accursed Naraku began to target both demons and humans for his vile amusement. Nippon has changed; we are in a new era.

"We will not have my empire be destroyed when I have just finished rebuilding it because we are needlessly killing the people who tend to the farms, who tend to our animals and our houses. We can control our hunger. We are better than that. We are not human beings, who are subjects to the whims of their bodies. We are austere. We are in control. We have the ability to conform our body to our will. Treat the humans as you would a wild animal—though weak, they can be dangerous if provoked—and rule over them justly. In this way, we will remain in power until the human villages have crumbled."

He daintily took a bite of his appetizer before laying down his chopsticks and folding his graceful hands in his lap. "Speaking of power, it is time we start this month's parliament. What news have we to report?"

People glanced around at each other. No one seemed to want to start the discussion. I mentally sighed.

"I will start, Lord Sesshomaru."

Someone on the other side of the table coughed, trying to cover up the sounds of indignation. Of course the _human_ was going first. I glanced across the table at him. Somehow, I was able to cover up the expressions of exasperation and anger I was feeling. This was not the first time someone had something to say about me speaking at the dinner table simply because of my heritage, rather than of my age or my sex.

"You had your chance to go first, Sir Tai. My Lord, Sir Mushashi, from whom you took this land, has apprehended the thief roaming the countryside last month. He has him under confinement and awaits orders as to where to send him. That is all. The humans were quiet, as they always are, my lord."

Sesshomaru-sama inclined his head, nodding. "Thank you, Lady Rin." As always, he said my voice with a kind of detachment which had first offended me. Now that I was older, I was used to it. "We will debate upon that subject at a latter time."

"Speaking of humans," said the gurgling voice of a water-demon, "I have news from the port. A ship came in. The humans have made some kind of compact with them. We have not yet revealed ourselves to these strange humans."

I felt a sudden chill go down my spine, but I knew not the cause.

"They seem to be travelers," he continued. "They look different. The color has been washed from them, Lord Sesshomaru. Their hair is yellow, some brown, and some black. Their eyes are the color of ocean, and of glass. Some eyes are even gray, my lord. They come wearing strange clothes, and bearing strange arms."

"Interesting. Yet travelers may they be, they are still trespassing on my land. Why have you not done anything yet, Lord Haku? You should have either frightened them away, or else invited them in."

"I know, my lord. I have my human ambassador caring for them currently, but it is hard to understand them," the dragon-demon reported, nodding his head. "I did send word to you to ask you what to do. Judging by your response, you did not get it yet. My lord, they are strange, queer men. Their weapons are oddly designed, and we know nothing about them. We are easily capable of taking a wound from a katana or a spear, but these are metal things, of which we know nothing. Until we know the full potential of these men, I thought it wise not to provoke them."

"We see. And these men, whence came them?"

"From land to the north-west called England, my lord. They call themselves Englishmen."

I thought I had heard that word before. I felt a vague sense of recognition at the way it was said… where I had it before?

"Whom do we have who is good with languages and teaching?" one demon asked another demon. "If they speak another language, we must learn it as quickly as possible, and vice versa. Many new possibilities are opening up: we could possibly trade with these people. If our enemies make an alliance with these people first, then the balance we have with them will be shifted into their favor. We…"

"Lord Sesshomaru?" I asked tentatively. I remembered where I had heard the word 'English' before. My voice sounded like a squeak in the room of booming voices. They heard it, and they fell silent; out of surprise, not out of respect. Every meeting I said the same thing: the humans were quiet, and then I too was silent for the rest of the meeting. There was rarely anything interesting to report. The demons didn't care if so-and-so had had a baby boy, or if so-and-so had gotten married. Just as they didn't care what happened in the life of a normal demon, so they didn't care what happened in the life of a normal human. All they cared about was the aristocracy.

"If they call themselves Englishmen," I began, feeling out of place and stupid. My face was as red as the collar on Seshsomaru-sama's kimono. "Well then, it is not inconceivable that they speak English, is it?"

"No, Lady Rin, it is not." Sesshomaru-sama's voice was like a growl. "What is your point?"

"Her point is," Kouga replied, his back straightening as he became the center of attention, "is that we already have someone who can speak their language. Kagome."

The table was suddenly silent at her name. Someone's chopsticks dropped on the ground. They all knew who she was, what she was. She was a brat of a human who had taken on Lord Sesshomaru years ago with nothing more than a bow and arrow. She was the human whose powers had helped to bring down Naraku. But what was most important was that she was the wife of Sesshomaru-sama's half brother. It made her family, and they secretly shuddered to think of Lord Sesshomaru being related to a human even in conjugal terms.

Kouga, Ayame and I, we knew that she came back now and then. We knew her husband and child sometimes came with her. We were the only ones who knew and who cared, and none of us had told Sesshomaru-sama, all for different reasons. Kouga and Ayame were friends with Kagome, and didn't want to see anyone be hurt. I also didn't want anyone to be hurt. We feared that if he found out Inuyasha still visited our lands and our time, then they would fight. Then, if Sesshomaru-sama won, Kagome and her family would be hurt. If Inuyasha won, then Sesshomaru-sama would be hurt. I didn't want to see anyone get hurt… or lose another arm.

Sesshomaru-sama's gold eyes narrowed at Kouga. Then his gaze flickered to me. Dealing with the humans was _my_ responsibility. I should have known about this, and I obviously did. It had been my duty to say something to him about Kagome's presence, knowing he would be interested in it. That I hadn't reported it to him meant I was guilty of treason. I could die for trying to protect my friends. Sesshomaru-sama could draw his sword and behead me as I sat at the dinner table, and he would be quite well justified.

My eyes had been staring at my dinner plate. I felt his eyes on me, though, and I slowly looked up. I know I looked guilty. I didn't mean to show such emotion, but I was showing it. For a bare instant, Lord Sesshomaru's hard expression softened, and he looked proud that I was brave enough to face him, but then he just looked plain mad. Don't ask me a man who can be so stoic can have such different expressions in the blink of an eye. I'm just his vassal, and I have been since I was a little girl. I can read him the way any woman can read a man.

His gaze smoothly moved over Ayame to land on Kouga again. "I see," he said in the deep, sensual voice he used. It was dangerous, that voice. "And Inuyasha? What of him? Does he also return with his human bitch?"

"And his child," Kouga answered smugly, as if he liked pissing Sesshomaru-sama off. Ayame and I winced at the thought of what would happen if Sesshomaru-sama ever decided to take his anger out on Kouga.

"Inuyasha," he said dangerously, "has a child?"

"Yes, sir," Ayame gently replied. She laid a hand against her mate's arm, silencing him. "He has a daughter."

Our dinner was abruptly over when Sesshomaru-sama simply stood up and left.

-To be continued


	2. Chapter 2

-2-

"Going to bed early tonight, Lady Rin?" Hikari asked when she walked into my room and found me changing. I was pulling on a pair of pants, hoping around on one foot as I tried to get dressed. I looked undignified. Sesshomaru would have killed me if he had known I was being so undignified. Hikari merely smiled at me, withholding her laughter behind the hand which covered her mouth. "You're going to wake up the entire household, my lady!"

"I'm also going to be late for my meeting with Sesshomaru-sama, Hikari. I'm supposed to have a lesson with him, but instead Jaken and I spent the last three hours calming down a bunch of demons and a cook who was ready to commit ritualistic suicide because he thought Lord Sesshomaru had left dinner because he felt it was unsatisfactory."

Hikari's strong hand steadied me as I pulled on my shirt. I was trapped for a moment as my shirt caught my bun. Hikari helped me slip the shirt over my hairstyle. I smiled at her gratefully, and I reached over my bed, grabbing the katana which hung on the wall. I drew it, making sure the weapon was spotless.

Shaking her head, Hikari fanned herself, looking nervous for me. I was unaware of how much I looked like Sesshomaru, or like a demon at that moment. My lips were set in a straight line, my chin held high… it's amazing how much a little bit of self confidence will improve a person.

"You're a brave human, Lady Rin. I wouldn't dare to draw my sword on Sesshomaru-sama, even if it _was_ because he was teaching me."

I smile at her. Satisfied, I sheathed the sword. I knew why she was nervous about the idea of ever fighting Sesshomaru-sama. "I've known him my whole life, Hikari," I pointed out, sticking the katana in the belt which closed my gi. "He'd never hurt me, not even in training. He's always been there for me."

The hallways were empty as I walked outside, but my ears picked up whispers from the shadows in the hallway. Hikari was one of the few people who knew what Sesshomaru-sama and I did when we were alone. He taught me sword-fighting, among other things. He had taught me to read, and to write, and mathematics, even science. Everything in life which I had learned, I had learned from him. To do my job, I needed to have a good education, and Sesshomaru-sama had given it to me. He'd even given me the education to defend myself, and others, if it was needed.

I knew not how to cook rice or make a bed, but thanks to Sesshomaru-sama, I could do simple algebra as easily as I could arrange flowers or serve tea. I won't fool you. It was Sesshomaru's idea to teach me all those "womanly" things. It was his pride which had convinced him to teach me. It would not do to have a woman following you around who couldn't do the things all aristocratic human women were supposed to do.

But in regards to these "lessons"… the demons in residence, and especially the ones visiting who saw Sesshomaru-sama as only being a cold, calculating and stoic ruler, thought I was warming his bed at night. I will not lie and say that I take shame in these rumors. In fact, quite often I wished they were true, for even just one night. But the people who thought that were fools, and I was a fool with them when I longed for him to kiss me or touch me.

The night air was muggy. Bugs chirped from the garden. There were no lamps lit, throwing the whole garden into shadows; deep, unmoving, frightening shadows. And then, there was Sesshomaru-sama, standing alone in the garden. His silver hair reflected the moonlight, and his pale clothes and skin gave him a ghostly appearance. He was so pale in the darkness that he looked luminescent.

He also looked lonely. His eyes were directed up at the sky, his long neck tilted back, his body unmoving and his gaze unblinking. He looked like a god. He looked so beautiful that I felt like I was going to cry.

"Rin."

"My lord." I curtseyed behind him, despite the fact that I wore pants. I remained curtseyed, waiting for him to acknowledge me before I stood up. My head was bowed towards the ground, forcing myself to look away from the beautiful sight of him in the garden.

Because of the position of my head, I didn't see him attack. Because of his demonic powers, I didn't even hear him attack. The next thing I knew, the air was rushing by me, pushing back wayward strands of my hair and the loose fitting shirt I wore. Warm breath landed on my cheek, balanced by the cold steel which pressed against my neck, stinging my skin with sharp intensity.

I looked up to see Seshsomaru-sama standing over me. He was in a lunge position, which put us on almost the same levels. I stared up into his face, and somehow I wasn't frightened by the sheen of his bared white fangs, the snarl of his sensuous lips, or the ruby haze fighting in his gold eyes. He was furious, obviously. Not even Sesshomaru-sama, for all his stoicism, is able to hide the physical changes in him when he gets mad and transforms. He was trying to keep from changing now.

God, it hurt me to know that it had been me who had hurt him so much that now his demonic spirit was desiring to change into a huge dog demon and devour me whole, body and soul. It was because of _me_.

His voice was a growl, but somehow it still sounded slow and sensual.

"Why didn't you tell me about my brother?" he demanded, staring me in the eye.

"I grew up without parents, Sesshomaru-sama. You grew up without them too." My voice took me by surprise. It was calm and steady. I had a knife pressed to the side of my throat and a demon about to transform staring at me, but somehow I was remaining composed. My voice was almost stern, and frank, but what I had told Hikari was right. Sesshomaru would never hurt me. I had no reason to be afraid.

"If I had told you that Inuyasha still returned to that little village, you would go and fight him, and if you won, I… I…." I stumbled over my words. I knew why Sesshoamru-sama wanted to fight Inuyasha, and why he had threatened to kill his younger half-brother on so many occasions. I just didn't know if he was serious on that threat or not. I swallowed and continued. "I worried that you might kill him… and then his daughter would grow up without a father! Just like you did, just like he did, and just like I did! I don't want to put someone else through that!"

"You have compassion," he noted, so coldly that I was unable to tell if it was a bad thing or a good thing.

"I do." I still stared him in the eye, unflinching.

He seemed a little surprise by that. I don't know how I knew that, just that he did seem surprised. He slowly straightened and pulled back his sword. His shoulders were stiff as he sheathed Toukijin. For a brief moment, as his face relaxed and become composed, I thought I saw the glimmer of a trace of amusement in his eyes.

"Where did you ever learn compassion from, Rin, if you grew up with me?"

I smiled at him, amused by his question. I was willing to say many things in front of Sesshomaru-sama when it was just him and I, but I wasn't about to tell him that despite all appearances, he had more compassion than anyone I had ever met. "I don't know, my lord."

"Hm." I nearly giggled at the sound he made. I love that sound. It's so… arrogant, and contemptuous, and yet childish at the same time.

"Lord Sesshomaru?" I asked politely, my shy voice arousing his attention from his own thoughts. I looked up at him, my hands folded and my brown eyes curious. Perhaps it was a childish stance, but it was an adult question I asked with a grave tone. Ugh, my neck was tingling from the aura of Toukijin getting so close to me, but I managed to ignore it. "Lord Sesshoumaru, you aren't going to punish me?"

"No."

There it was, plain and simple, but it somehow confused me. I didn't understand why. Yes, I could understand why he wasn't going to kill me for my treason, but he still wasn't going to punish me even slightly for not telling him about Inuyasha? That I didn't understand. I had still broken a rule, and people who break rules are reprimanded.

"Why not?" I inquired.

"Are you _trying_ to get me to punish you?" he hissed at me, his body whipping around to stand across from me.

I blushed at his question. I'm sure he didn't mean it in any manner other than an honest inquiry and a warning, but there was room there for innuendoes despite his intentions. I shook my head no.

"Then let the subject matter drop or I _will_ devise a punishment for you, and it will not be one which you enjoy."

Recognizing a warning when I saw it, I nodded, and quietly began to back away. "You're in a bad mood, my Lord. I will leave you alone with your thoughts. We can always train some other night." I bowed my head, and walked away, leaving him alone in the garden with his thoughts, while I returned to bed.

The following morning, I woke up, and I immediately felt a hand cover my mouth before I could let out a scream. The clawed hand was heavy and strong against my mouth, but it didn't hurt me. My brown eyes stared up to look at Sesshomaru-sama leaning over me. His silver hair looked gold in the dawning light, tinged with orange. His pale skin looked just as golden. In the morning light, Sesshomaru-sama reminds me of a large lion rather than a dog. He's sleek and very golden, with a mane of the silkiest hair I have ever seen.

But as my eyes adjusted, I saw it wasn't Seshsomaru-sama. No one was there. I woke up with my own hand covering my mouth, as if I had had a nightmare towards the end of the night and I had covered my own mouth to stifle my screaming. I felt tired. Maybe I really had had a nightmare… if I had, I couldn't remember it, and I was glad.

I grabbed my clothes and I went to the bath houses. I bathed, and struggled over brushing my own hair. It was so thick I often had trouble getting it brushed properly. I often thought about cutting it off, but only warriors or ladies of the evening had hair so short. I was neither.

I dressed in my favorite kimono. It was plain yellow, with a white belt decorated with yellow flowers to match. It was bright and cheerful, and I liked it. I like cheerful things. If it wasn't for the garden behind the mansion, I think that _I_ would have been the most colorful thing around the mansion!

After that, I wandered around the house, listening to the silent mansion creak as it awoke. Eventually, I heard the treat of a familiar gait accompanied by the sound of a staff striking the ground with every other step. From the open shoji screen, I watched Jaken nervously pace in front of the doors to Sesshomaru-sama's office. Often, Sesshomaru-sama didn't go to bed. I'm sure that demonic stamina meant he needed three times as less sleep as I, but that didn't keep me from worrying about him. Sesshomaru-sama had a lot of things on his mind, and if I had to rule over all these people, I know I'd miss sleep.

"Jaken," I purred in a suspicious voice. The demon jumped when he heard my voice, and turned to me, surprised. Thanks to Sesshomaru's teaching, I had become very good at controlling the signs that I was there. My aura was drawn in tight to my body, my footsteps light even to demon senses, and my smell… well, that I could do nothing about. But I was still quiet, for a human. The only thing quieter than me was a demon slayer, and those skills took a lifetime of practice to acquire.

But then, I _was_ living with demons. Maybe, in my own way, I was getting that life time of practice.

"Lady Rin," Jaken stammered. "W-what are you doing up so early?"

"I could not sleep. What are you doing pacing so early at the door to my Lord Sesshomaru so early?"

"N-nothing." I could tell he was lying. Jaken was horrible at lying.

My eyes narrowed slightly, and I leaned over to look him in the eyes. My words were short and to the point. "You're lying."

Jaken looked insulted… and scared. He tried to look indignant. "I am not lying, Lady Rin! I… I…" He gulped when I continued to stare at him. Jaken eventually hung his head, defeated and caught. One of his flippers kicked at the floor childishly. "I was going to talk to him about getting married…"

At his wording, my smile grew. "To yourself?" Jaken looked shocked and I laughed. Straightening, I made sure my kimono and my hair were both spotless. "Go on about your other business, Lord Jaken. I will talk to Lord Sesshomaru for you. Matters such as this require a woman's touch. You're dismissed."

Jaken glared at me and then turned and waddled away as fast as he could. Smiling, I turned and stared at the doors to Sesshomaru-sama's study. It was partially open. I didn't remember the door being partially open before… I nervously approached the shoji screen, wondering if it had just been my imagination or if Sesshomaru-sama had happened to overhear Jaken and I talking. I turned away from the door. I had been lying, anyway. I wasn't really going to tell Sesshomaru-sama that he had to get married. The idea was ludicrous and…

"Come in, Rin."

I stopped in the hallway, biting my bottom lip to keep from sighing. I turned back to the door and stepped into the dim room, shutting the door behind me. The rice paper in the doors made the floor glow vaguely. Sesshomaru-sama stood in front of me, examining the weapons which hung from the opposite wall. I heard him crack his knuckles and I couldn't help but wince.

I had, of course, often seen Sesshomaru-sama hit other people, but he had never struck me, not even in jest. To think that he had overheard me talk to Lord Jaken and that he was now going to punish me for getting involved in business which was not my concern… no. He would never do that. Sesshomaru-sama would never abuse me in any way. For a long time he had even been against allowing me to earn my keep by working for him and conducting human business on his behalf.

"Well?" he prompted when I was silent.

I cursed mentally. He _had_ heard me. I took a deep breath, forcing myself to sound casual. I was able to do so, too. Working for Sesshomaru-sama had taught me many things, including how to sound nonchalant when the need arose. "Lord Jaken and your other advisors appear to want you to wed, my lord. No doubt they feel that simply because you are a few centuries old it is time you had a son who could inherit your kingdom in case something happened to you."

He was silent. I managed to keep from fidgeting. I always remember fidgeting when I was a young girl, but Sesshomaru-sama always appeared so annoyed and disgusted when I did so. Now I could be as stiff and motionless as a tree when I forced myself. I forced myself to do so now.

"And how do you feel about my lack of a mate?" he suddenly inquired.

I was shocked. My jaw dropped and I felt the color come to my cheeks. I swallowed nervously. "That depends, my lord."

"Depends on what?"

"Well," I nervously began, staring at the way his long hair fell down his broad back. "If you are asking me because I am your advisor in matters regarding humans, I have no opinion in this matter. Your marital state is none of my business, and I'm certain we both know the humans would rather see a human take on the throne rather than a demon. They are still scared of you, despite the assurances you have given them. If you are asking me as someone who has known you a long time and who is looking at her own life, I would tell you to do whatever would make you happy, my lord, because I want you to be happy. If, however, you were to ask me because I am a female, I would advise you to get married."

Sesshomaru-sama was quiet. I didn't think he expected me to say that. My theory was proved true when he very slowly turned around. The pale light from the hallway made a sliver of his face bright, but no darkness could keep his eyes from glowing. I watched him as he moved to the desk where he picked up a glass and had a sip. He then indicated the pitcher of water standing off to one corner, silently offering me a glass. I politely shook my head no, my eyes down at the ground.

"Why would you tell me to wed, Rin?" he asked eventually.

"Because I know that it would be good for the country, sire. The demons, at the very least, would be appeased because your throne would be ensured for another generation. Also because I have heard women talk, my lord. They can be heartless when their husbands are so much older than they. If you wed, my lord, wed someone who is close to you in age, so that her eyes will not wander when your back is turned, nor her lips talk when you do not come to her bed and she wonders if it is because you have lost the capability to love."

I hurried on, rather embarrassed from the topic of impotence. "I would tell you to wed because I am selfish and because I do want to see you happy, my lord. If I could hold your son and show him the flowers you gave me before I die, I would die the happiest woman in the world, my lord. I would advise you to wed once this conflict with these strange men from overseas has been dealt with, so that he can grow up in a time of peace, and become a warrior once he no longer wishes to play with small toys, so that manhood will not be forced upon him and so that his father will always be here to train him, and teach him. Wed so that your wife and your son will never have to worry about losing you in war. Wed when you can have the rest of your life to watch your child grow and care for him."

My cheeks darkened. While I had talked, my eyes had slipped up and had seen his face. He seemed untouched by my words—there was no embarrassment about sexual talk, nor any anger at having a woman tell him what to do. My eyes once again fell down to the ground.

"But I am mortal, my lord Sesshomaru, so perhaps my judgment is clouded by emotion."

"That may be so, but is also the most rational argument I have heard since my advisors told me it was time to find a wife. I do not know why I hesitate to do so. Many times have I thought about marriage, and a child in the future. But it does not interest me. My empire, my realm, my people, they interest me and this marriage would be for them. I know it would be political. There would be no emotion in such an arrangement. Yet that form of politics does not interest me."

I paused, making sure that he was done before I asked my question. "What would your father have done in such a scenario, my lord?" He was quiet for so long after my question that I wondered if perhaps he was trying to find a way to tell me that he had been born, without having been conceived. "My lord?"

Finally, the answer came. "I do not know."

That was why he had taken so long to answer. Sesshomaru-sama tried so much to be his father at times, most of the time I should say, that he did not like admitting there were times when he was not as great as his father had been. Sesshomaru-sama did not want to admit that he had failed.

"I do not remember what my parents were like together. I can barely recall my mother. I can, however, remember how my father acted with the human mother of my half-brother. He doted upon her, spent time with her…" His voice trailed off. I hung my head, knowing what he had been about to say. When he spoke again, his voice was strong. "He seemed to care more about her than for his country. I do not want a soulless union. It will leave me unfulfilled. Nor do I want to forget my duty to play caretaker and dote upon some woman. I, Sesshomaru, am not going to be chained to some woman like a child. Neither option is appetizing to me."

"Sadly, my lord," I said, my voice shaking a little. I quickly dried my tears with the hem of my sleeve. I was once that child chained to a man, and it hurt to imagine that he might think so little of my childhood with him simply because I played his shadow. "I think those are the only two options you have. So, you must either chose the lesser of the two evils, or learn to love without the infatuation that your father had for Lord Inuyasha's mother, or you must pray to the gods for a third option."

I turned to leave, but Sesshomaru-sama's voice stopped me. I turned to see him. "Do you think that such a relationship is possible? Can… can caring be something other than…"

Quietly, I thought about his unspoken question. "You are an attractive man, Sesshomaru-sama, for all you act coldly towards others. You are harsh, and abrasive, and your silence is at times unnerving, but you are attractive. It would not be hard to find a demon who not only finds you attractive but is also attracted to you. All that then remains is for her to learn that underneath your cold exterior lies a sharp mind, power, reliability and loyalty, and she will love you. In time love can bloom between two people, my lord, without becoming how you remember your father acting. However, it is also a side effect of love that you want to do something nice for that person. Do not believe that love can bloom between two people when they do not give each other occasional signs of affection. Get used to the idea of paying a lady a kind word or two, Sesshomaru-sama."

"That _wasn't_ what I was going to ask, Rin," Seshsomaru-sama said, his eyes narrowing at me.

I stopped looking at the door and turned to him completely, my brown eyes defensive. My lips were set into a tight line. I felt bad for telling him what I had, but I was confused… it was a poor excuse, but you have to understand! For years Seshsomaru-sama had been giving me things, things which he claimed were his responsibility as my caretaker. I had thought that they had been given to me, that he had paid attention to such details as he did, because he had cared for me in his own way and had wanted to make me happy. Now I felt like a charity case, or like some puppy or overgrown child who was given a treat because I had done something well.

It was degrading, and I wanted revenge.

"Then what was it you were going to ask me, my lord?"

"Is… do you believe that the desire for self-sacrifice is an effect of being in love, Rin?"

His question surprised me. He had sounded… soft, almost child-like when he set forth his query. My voice was still a little cold, thought it was slowly warming up. I couldn't help but think of when I had met Lord Sesshomaru, how I had stolen food for him even though I knew that I would have gotten punished if I had gotten caught… as I had gotten caught. I met Sesshomaru-sama's eyes bravely.

"No, my lord. It is not a side effect of love. It is a side effect of friendship." I curtseyed a little, and turned to leave. When he spoke again, I only paused.

"I didn't mean to make you cry, Rin. Please try to control your emotions more in the future, Lady Rin."

Sesshomaru-sama's apologies are few, and oddly worded, and they sound more like a reprimanding, but I love them.

He's never apologized to anyone else but me.


	3. Chapter 3

-3-

Sesshomaru-sama's question bothered me. I continued to wonder why it had disturbed me so, and as I walked to his study the next day, I realized what it was. Everyone he knew who loved him, sacrificed themselves… and always for someone else. His father, his mother, his half-brother…

How would I feel if everyone I had known, I had lost to love? How would I feel? Would I feel like I had been unworthy of knowing them because I wasn't good enough for them? No. That was unbelievably wrong. I would hate the people who died. I would feel like they were weak. I would loathe the people they died for. I would even hate love. I would hate an emotion which made people look like slaves.

I pitied Sesshomaru-sama, sometimes. I hid those feelings the deepest. He could never know that. But I did, oh, I did! I wish that I could hold him and tell him that it would be okay and that I would always love him, and no one else. I would try to heal every wound he bears. I would, oh, I would!

But I respect him more. I respect Sesshomaru-sama more than anything else I feel for him. He is amazing. The man has been hurt so many times by love… but yet he still yearns for it, and wants it for his family. Accepting and knowing the importance of something despite how you hate it… that is remarkable. That is the strength in Sesshomaru-sama that I love.

I knocked on the wood of the door, and he clearly told me to enter. I smiled as I walked in and shut the door behind me with my naked foot. In my hands I balanced a tray. "I am sorry that I could not leave today, Sesshomaru-sama," I told him, walking up to the desk.

"Do not worry, Rin. It's not your fault that this storm struck." Lightning crashed outside, soon followed by the thunder that rattled the house. Neither of us were disturbed by it. He watched as I placed the tray I carried on the desk. "Warmed blood wine?" he inquired, his nose twitching a little at the delicate smell.

"Yes, my lord. I took the liberty of going to the kitchen and having the cook prepare you some. I thought that perhaps it might… make the evening more enjoyable for you and make the night more bearable. I can't imagine having senses such as yours and finding this storm quite as docile as I do. I must sound like an army is walking around in your head when it thunders."

Carefully, I poured him a glass, listening to his voice. I loved his voice. "Having hyper-sensitive senses would be dangerous, Rin, if we couldn't turn it down now and then. The storm, I assume, is no louder to me than it is to you."

"Pardon, my lord, but doesn't your brother faint when smells become too much?" I inquired, taking a seat across from him.

"Half-brother," he sternly corrected, accepting the small cup I offered to him. "One of the side effects of being half-demon is having very little control over yourself. You lack the ability to control your sense, the form of your body, your powers, your mind… It is a half life, empty, and void of meaning."

"Surely you can't… never mind, my lord." I sighed. I wasn't going to start discussing philosophy with Sesshomaru-sama. I began to roll up my sleeves. "Should we start my lessons, my lord?"

Sesshomaru-sama sipped delicately from the glass which I had handed him. Setting it down, he moved some paper over to my side of the table, keeping some for himself. He passed me over an ink well and a brush. "I believe we shall, Rin. What would you care to learn today?"

I blushed at his question. Normally Sesshomaru-sama didn't ask me what I wanted to learn, but told me what we were going to practice. In my late childhood we had followed a strict schedule of when to learn and what to learn. When he discovered that above all I enjoyed mathematics, it had become the special treat, and he would only give me math problems to solve after I had practiced my spelling and writing.

"Sesshomaru-sama," I said tentatively, "may we please play with trigonometry?"

"Rin," he sternly replied. "You are a fully grown adult. Why do you still speak in such a childish manner?"

This time my blush was not from pleasant surprise, but from embarrassment. "Am I speaking childishly, my lord? I was not aware of it. When I was younger, I remember always trying to copy the way you spoke, Sesshomaru-sama. I always spoke using the royal third person. When you stopped using it, so did I. I emulated everything you did, my lord. I was not trying to be foolish, merely polite."

He stared at me. I could feel his gaze even though my eyes were focused on the ink well. He seemed to have something to say, but he kept it inside. Instead, he picked up the brush laying by him and dipped it in the ink well, beginning to write a problem for me to solve. I somehow managed to hide my smile.

Our lessons involving scholasticism were now few and far between themselves now that I was an adult. It made me treasure the moments I had with him, where it was the two of us pouring over some mathematics question while the lightning crashed and the rain came down in torrents. Inside, with Sesshomaru-sama, it always felt warm and dry.

"Rin?"

My mind had wandered away. I looked up at my lord to find him staring back at me. He had a look of concern on his face… though to anyone but Jaken and I, it would have looked no different than the expression he wore when he was tired, or hungry, any other number of things.

I smiled at him. "I'm sorry, my lord. I was merely reminiscing…"

To my surprise, he put down his brush and laid his right arm in his lap. "What were you thinking about?"

"The first time I ever sat through a thunderstorm with you. I was eight years old," I said fondly, recalling the memory. My smile blossomed, and I found myself recalling the way Sesshomaru-sama had felt warm and safe to me. He kept the rain away and made the thunder seem like the purr of a kitten compared to his own growl. "You picked me up and allowed me to sit next to you, on the right side of your body. It was warm, and comfortable, and I…"

"I remember the incident," he said coldly. "You need not go into such detail."

I felt ashamed, as if I had done something wrong by reminiscing. But that, I realize, was foolish and I had every right to dwell fondly on the past. I lifted my chin defiantly. Sesshomaru-sama didn't make the slightest move or gesture when he saw this. I even had the audacity to look into his eyes.

"They are treasured memories, Sesshomaru-sama. I treasure the details that I remember. I treasure the memories of the first time you spoke to me, or the first time I answered, the first time you saved me or the first time that you held me close. They are special to me, and perhaps you may think that dwelling on such details is foolish, but they are mine and I will remember what I want."

His gold eyes widened. I had actually startled him enough that he had widened his eyes. He had not been expecting such retaliation. His eyes then narrowed. We sat there glaring at each other as the rain continued to fall.

"Do not speak to me so reproachfully, Rin," he warned. I could feel the tension in his cold and icy voice. Normally it was as smooth as silk, but when he became mad, it become slightly huskier. "I was not telling you what you could or could not remember, merely that you need not discuss the minute details of it with me."

"Every once in a while, my lord, I think you need someone to challenge you. Too many of your vassals are afraid to suggest anther option or discuss their ideas with you because they fear you. You are reserved from them, my lord, and they do not know you."

Sesshomaru's voice was icy, brutally edged as he cut me off. "I am their lord. They do not need to know me."

"But they need not be required to fear you, either! How are they ever going to remain loyal to you if they are constantly worried that you will attack them, or their families, or steal their lands and titles from them simply because they voiced an opinion? Yes, many of them follow you out of respect for your father, because he did his job well and they respected him."

"Rin…" He was trying to warn me to be quiet, but I ignored it.

"But they do not respect you, my lord! They fear you!" My brown eyes were wide as I stared at him, my voice pleading despite my rationality. "Why not go out there and meet the men who serve under you? Invite their families to dinner. Show them that you respect them. Do not isolate yourself simply because you might be stronger than those who sit at your table! Your father, despite the faults you may see in him for having a child with a human woman…"

"Rin."

"…woman was still loved! Those demons loved your father because he cared for them! Let them serve you out of love, my lord! Let them come to you because they _want_ to serve you, not because it is demanded of them by their overlords or by social rules! Let them want to serve you out of love as I…"

"RIN!"

The house shook. The walls rumbled from the sound of his bark. My voice died, my words falling in the air. I stared at him in shock, noticing the specks of gold in his eyes and the way the facial marks seemed a little jagged, his face more honed and pointed, but I did not register these changes. I did not register that he had, in fact, started changing into his full demon shape. I was too busy being shocked by the sound of his voice.

His voice was soft, but strong. It seemed no more than a whisper, but every syllable was clear, even from very far away. Suddenly his voice had been loud enough to make the shoji screens rattle.

"Go to your room, Rin," he told me suddenly. It was the same thing he had told me when I was eleven years old and the conversation had turned improper for that which an eleven year old girl should hear. "You will leave tomorrow morning. Take Aun. He will protect you. You should go and be among your own kind for a short while."

I knew a dismissal when I heard one. I stood up, clasping my trembling hands behind my back and trying to look normal. I strained to keep the hope from my voice. "Will I see you before I leave tomorrow morning, my lord?"

"I doubt you will, Rin."

"Very well then, sir. I will take my leave of you, Sesshomaru-sama. Have a pleasant evening." I curtseyed to him and quickly left the room.

The next morning I set out for a human village with Aun. I did not see him before I left.

* * *

I did not go to the village where Inuyasha and Kagome stayed. Instead, I went to go and visit the only human friend I had.

The village was quiet as I approached it, but I was still able to hear the sounds of fires and laughter as people shared stories. The walls were unguarded. They did not need to be guarded after peace had been arranged between the wolf tribe and the humans. It was easy for me to enter, leaving Aun outside of the village walls where he would have room in which to move around. Aun disliked villages. I did as well, in all honesty.

But it was worth it to see my friend. I knocked on his door. I heared him calling from inside, and I smiled, relaxing for the first time in days. Although Sesshomaru-sama made me relaxed in that I felt physically at easy with him, I always had to be on guard of my tongue or my emotions. Among humans, I could relax completely. However, it had been so long since I had lived with them that long visits made me uneasy. I had been reared by a demon. I had been taught the laws of demon society. Always seeing or expression emotions was often tiring for me. Still I adored my short visits to human villages.

"Kohaku, just tell me to come in. I'm fully capable of walking into a room myself."

"Rin!" I heard a chipper voice from inside, and the sudden sound of little feet running on the wooden floor. The door flew open and I had to prepare myself for the young child who threw himself at me. "Rin! I missed you!"

My arms around the little boy, I caught his messy hands before he could put them in my hair. I hugged him and set him down on the ground, pulling out a handkerchief and wiping his hands for him. "How you're always able to get yourself so messy, Ichigo, I don't know. Hasn't your mother taught you any manners at all?"

"I tried, but he's too much like his father." Sakura stood in the doorway, her hands on her hips as she looked down at her second child, her ten year old Ichigo. "March back inside and finish your supper, young man. Stop acting like you're six years old, sir."

"Yes, Mam. Rin, are you staying long?"

I looked up at his mother, and shook my head. I was uncertain of precisely how long I would be staying. It did not feel right to me to show up at dusk at Kohaku's house and ask to stay the night. "I just came by for a visit, Ichigo. Now go on inside and finish your supper as your mother said."

He nodded and scampered off into the kitchen, dodging an icy look his mother sent him. She then turned that icy look on me. I must admit that there is a certain amount of hostility between Sakura and I. I am uncertain as to why. Yes, I come and see her family, but I visit her family because Kohaku is my friend. I have no ulterior motives.

Kohaku walked up behind her, smiling at me. He gently placed a hand on her shoulder and he kissed her cheek. "Go back inside, Sakura. Rin-sama and I will talk on the field, where we can have some privacy. I won't be out long."

I am certain that I looked a little jealous, watching the exchange between them. I know also, that Sakura saw my expression. However, because she saw it does not mean she understood it. I know she did not understand the cause for my jealousy, because she gave me a final glare before she returned inside the house.

We did not talk until we reached the fields to which Kohaku tended. The sheep he raised were sleeping soundly as we sat out on the grassy knoll. I looked at him, worried. "Maybe I should talk to Sakura. Maybe if she understood why I came here and talked to you, and why I was so jealous of you both, she wouldn't hate me as much. Ayame speaks highly of her. I'm sure that she wouldn't find cause to hate me just because I work with demons when she herself is friends with one. I dislike how she looks at me when I come to visit with you, Kohaku-sama."

As usual, he blushed at the polite term I called him. Many times he had asked me not to call him that, for he was no lord. He was a farmer. No matter how many times he said that, I still called him Kohaku-sama, for I knew not what else to call him. Given how his wife looked at me, I doubted I could call him by his first name alone.

"Maybe," he said. Kohaku was usually a man of very few words. We were silent again, watching the sun fade away and the stars reveal themselves. "What made Lord Sesshomaru send you away this time?"  
It was my turn to blush. He knew me too well. I told him the argument I had had with Sesshomaru-sama. He listened to it all very closely, but said nothing. Kohaku-sama was a good listener. That was why I came to him whenever I had a problem. I knew that he would listen, and he was smart, so he would give me an answer and help me to understand what I was too blind to see.

"Was I out of line in telling Sesshomaru-sama what I did?"

"Maybe," the freckled adult said with a shrug, "but it made sense. If another warlord ever came a long who was more terrifying than Sesshomaru-sama, his people would desert him and serve that which they fear more."

I paused, thinking about it. I knew that what I had said sounded right. Perhaps it may have been idealistic and impossible, but surely my idealism had not been enough to warrant my banishment from my lord's side, if only a temporary one. "Then what made him send me away like this?" I wrapped my arms around my legs, resting my chin against me knee.

"I'm an adult, but I feel like I'm being punished, and I can't figure out why. I know it's not because I spoke out, Kohaku-sama. Sesshomaru-sama admires it when I speak my mind to him, normally. I think he likes that I learned how to think from him, but because I'm a human female, I interpret things differently. Normally he allows me to do so when we are alone…" I smiled softly. "That's often the only way we have a conversation, is from me talking and him acquiescing now and then with a nod of his head."

"Maybe it was what you were saying that made him nervous." I looked over at Kohaku, who continued. "You were about to say that they should serve him out of love, as you do. I think that's why Sesshomaru-sama sent you away, Lady Rin."

"How many times must I ask you not to call me Lady Rin? My hands are just as callused as yours."

He smiled at me. Even as a grown man with a daughter grown up as well, he was still as cute as he had been when I had been eight years old. "I will stop calling you Lady Rin when you stop calling me Kohaku-sama. As I was saying, perhaps that was what made him send you away. Sesshomaru-sama may govern humans well and stay out of our business and allow us to live as we would, but he still isn't terribly fond of humans. Perhaps he doesn't want to hear that you serve him out of love. He wants to be served out of respect for his power, and that includes fear sometimes, not out of some human emotion he probably frowns on."

Kohaku-sama did have a point. I frowned, hoping he was wrong.

"Moreover," he continued. "Maybe he thought that you were going to say something different." His tone made it clear as to exactly what he was suggesting.

"You mean that Sesshomaru-sama worried I was about to blurt out that I was in love with him?" I laughed at the idea. "I may lose my tongue once in awhile with Sesshomaru-sama, but I would never become so delusional as to say something like that. For one thing, I _don't_ love Seshsomaru-sama. That is," I stammered, "I'm not _in_ love with Seshsomaru-sama."

"But it makes the most sense. He would really hate that, wouldn't he? Having a human girl fall in love with him. It would remind him of Inuyasha, and of what he considers his father's weakness… it would be even worse if…"

"_Don't_!" I hissed. Kohaku-sama fell silent. We both sat there, lost in our own thoughts. I eventually stood up, dusting off my kimono. "Thank you for talking with me, Kohaku-sama. I'll let you get back to your family."

He stood up, looking after me. "What about you, Lady Rin? Where will you stay?"

Every time I came by, he tried to get me to spend the night in his house as a guest. I turned around and smiled at him, placing my finger against his forehead. He froze. "I have told you a thousand times before, Kohaku-sama. I like sleeping outside. I got used to it, when I was little and traveling with my lord Sesshomaru. Thank you for once again offering me the use of your house, but Aun and I will sleep outside. He will watch over me and keep me safe."

There was nothing he could do or say to keep me from sleeping outside. We said our goodbyes and parted ways, and I slept under the stars, curled up with Aun the way I had done before when I was little.

* * *

"May I speak with you, Sakura-sama?"

Sakura turned, surprised at the sound of my voice. She was busy cooking lunch for Kohaku and Ichigo. I felt bad interrupting her when she was busy working, but I had spend all morning trying to figure out what to say to her.

With a frown, she turned back to her work. "You may if you feel like, Lady Rin. I have work to do. I cannot be expected to answer you back, but if you feel like you have something to say, then please, by all means speak your peace."

"I know that you dislike it when I come to visit your family. I mean no disrespect when I do so, nor do I have any ulterior motives in doing so. I simply enjoy talking to your husband. He understands things which I cannot sometimes, and we can relate to each other. He is a connection to the past for me. And more importantly, he is my friend. He is my only friend, and I treasure him.

"But that is all, Sakura-sama. All the times I came to speak to him and I saw you two hug or kiss, or even understand each other without words, I was jealous. I don't have that in my life, Sakura-sama. I think you're very lucky to have Kohaku and to be able to have a family with a man whom you love and understand."

Sakura turned around, trying her hands on a cloth. She looked disgruntled. I wondered if I had said something wrong. "Don't try and do the pity act with me, Rin-sama. If you really wanted a family, I'm sure that your lord can find you a husband who will never require you to lift a finger in work. In time I'm sure that you would learn to love him. Most women learn to love their husbands. It's common enough."

I shook my head. "I did not come for pity, Sakura-sama. Above all else, I do not want pity, from anybody. I am happy with my life… except for when it comes to romance. I merely wanted to ask you… to tell you to stop assuming that because I am friends with your husband that I'm some whore come to steal your place in bed. I assure that is not the case. I have someone in my life whom I care for greatly, and I would not do anything to ever endanger my reputation and bring disgrace from him."

"And who is this man. Rin-sama? Surely Seshsomaru-sama can arrange for you to marry anybody at all!"

I nodded. "Yes. I imagine that if I really wanted someone, Sesshomaru-sama would try to do everything he could into making me happy. But I know the man that I love will not accept my hand in marriage. Though he is as kind as me as he always is, he will never return my feelings, because I am human. And he…"

"You love a demon," she gasped. She was so busy holding her head that she missed by nod. Sakura sighed. No doubt she was wondering why she did not see it before. It only took her a moment to figure out which demon would be so adverse human-demon unions to deny a woman her love even after more than two decades. I wondered if it was really so obvious. I had always imagined that I was a little more cautious about my emotions than that.

"You love Lord Sesshomaru."

"Yes, I love him. And that is why I look at you and Kohaku with jealousy. You two are able to so easily express your love for ach other and do so intimately, often physically. I do not have that in my life. And I miss it. When I was little, Sesshomaru-sama would hold me when I was tired or scared. But now I am an adult, and I am not supposed to be coddled. Nor would I want to be treated as an invalid. However… I miss it. I miss the feeling his arms holding me, his scent, his warmth… I miss the intimacy I had with him when I was younger. I would not care if he held me as if I were an eight year old again, so long as he touched me once in awhile."

Sakura was quiet, allowing me to get these emotions off of my chest. I knew I could trust her to keep my secrets, and I needed to talk to a female about them. I could not talk to Kohaku about my longing for physical intimacy. He would not understand. Worse, he's such a sweet, caring man that he might have taken it upon himself to offer me the tenderness and affection that Sesshomaru could not by holding me… and Sakura would not have liked that. I could not talk to my female demons about it… I would be too embarrassed. Perhaps Ayame might have understood, but she was with child now. Demon births are not easy. She has her own problems. I need not burden her with mine.

"Perhaps he has his own reasons for not holding you," Sakura noted.

"What reason could Sesshomaru-sama have for not holding me?"

Sakura paused, considerately. "Perhaps he will not hold you for fear he will hold you back." She looked at me over her shoulder. "You spent most of your life with him, Lady Rin. Sesshomaru-sama is a warlord. He may not reciprocate your feelings in the way that you wish him to, but he may care for you. After spending so much time together, I doubt that it is very hard not to care for somebody. Even if he thought about you in a fatherly manner, holding you as he would a daughter might be a display of affection he is afraid to show. Warlords do not generally reveal their emotions."

"They should," I pouted, crossing my arms. "Maybe most of them would stop scowling if they hugged their kids now and then."

Much to my surprise—maybe even to Sakura's surprise—she laughed at my comment. "Maybe they would stop scowling if someone gave them a hug, but I know that the reason why they don't show their emotions is because showing favor and protection to someone reveals their weakness. I don't think that Sesshomaru-sama wants to reveal his weakness to people because they would target you." Her eyes clouded over as she recalled how her own first born, her daughter, had been taken hostage before Kouga had regained control of the wolf tribe.

"However," she added after a moment, "if they don't know already that you're his weakness, they are fairly stupid. Kohaku has told me many stories of Naraku and of Kagome and his big sister. Whenever you were in danger, Sesshomaru-sana would come to your rescue. You were his weakness since the day you two met, I'd wager. If someone can't see that, they're fair dumb."

I smiled at her.

I felt fair dumb myself.

I knew that Seshsomaru-sama cared for me, I really did, but his coldness sometimes made me forget. I needed someone to put it into perspective for me. But the idea that he would not even hold my hand because he was afraid that he would reveal I was a weak spot in his emotional armor?

Now that was fair foolish.

Sesshomaru-sama was smart. He should have been able to tell that, apparently, everyone already knew that already.

* * *

To be continued...


	4. Chapter 4

**AN:** The beginning of this chapter draws heavily from the third movie. That trend continues throughout the fic. I recomment seeing it before going any farther. If you are aware of various spoilers and the name of charcters you can't indentify, then read on, but you're still missing a good movie.

**-4-**

_Kagome was flung into the wall. I was suddenly a little afraid. I felt brave when Kagome was with me. Kagome fought to save me even though Seshsomaru-sama was always trying to kill Inuyasha. She could have let me die. She didn't need to protect me, but she did anyway._

_That was just how Kagome was. That was why Inuyasha loved her. That was why I respected her. If I couldn't be like Sesshomaru-sama, I would want to be like Kagome-sama, and try to protect people. Even the tiniest person. I would protect even the tiniest person._

_But now Kagome was hurt. I could see a trickle of blood run down the back of her neck. She had struck the wall behind me hard. I tightened my grip on Tenseiga. It was as tall as I was, back then. I spread my arms wide. Kagome was hurt. Now I had to protect her._

"_What are you doing?" I demanded of the monster in front of me. "Since you're a man, you shouldn't bully girls!" I was trying my best to be brave and drive him away with my words, trying to reason with him. I didn't want to fight him, deep down. I knew it was suicide if I fought the man possessed by Sou'unga. But I had to try and keep him from hurting Kagome-sama!_

_She moved behind me. Over the sound of his approaching armor, I could hear her try to get up. "Rin-chan," she said, her voice weak. She was straightening behind me. "Run away," Kagome told me._

_I gripped Tenseiga so hard the blade almost pierced my hand. "No!" Didn't she understand? I was a follower of the great Lord Sesshomaru! Suicide or not, I refused to flee from my enemy! Besides… My voice lightened. "Lord Sesshomaru will definitely come to save us!"_

_Did no one else understand that? Sesshomaru-sama would never let any harm come to me. He would always come and save me. I didn't need to defeat the man in the scary armor. I just needed to protect Kagome. That was my mission now. Even if something happened to me, even if I died, Seshsomaru-sama would bring me back again, because I was a good girl. I was a proper girl. I devotedly worked hard to make him proud. When I was eight years old, I never needed to hear the words. Every time he put up with a childish act, be it an argument with Jaken-sama or a wreath of flowers, he did it because I knew he was proud of me._

_Sesshomaru-sama would never let any harm come to me._

_My bravery wore out when he reached me, his hand lifting to bring down the sword. I still stood in front of Kagome, trying to protect her, but my whole body was shaking. I was resolute. Sesshomaru-sama would never let any harm come to me!_

_He brought the sword down. I gripped the sword tighter. Even if he killed me, even if Seshsomaru-sama was held up by fighting the hundreds of fighters outside, I would NOT let him take Tenseiga's sword. It was Sesshomaru-sama's heirloom! No matter how much fuss Sesshomaru-sama made over it, his father had left it for him._

_Maybe I, I who had nothing left from my father, could appreciate an heirloom more than he, but one day he would realize the gravity of the momento left to him by his father. I would not let some bastard spoil his gift!_

_I shut my eyes. I did not want to see the sword come down._

_Oh Gods, despite my bravado, I did not want to die! Not… not again!_

_I could hear Kagome scream my name behind me. I could feel the air move from the strike aiming at my exposed shoulder, planning on slicing down to my heart._

'_Sesshomaru-sama!'_ _My thoughts hung in the air like a prayer. '_Please_.'_

_My eyes shut, all I could do was hear. I heard the sword strike something. But it _wasn't _me. Light danced on the inside of my eyelids. I opened them, expecting to see a barrier protecting me, the one that Kagome had been talking about before she had been slammed into the wall behind me. Instead, much to my joy…_

"_Sesshomaru-sama!"_ _I couldn't keep the laughter from my voice. My Lord had come to save me again._

_There, in front of my eyes, was Tokijin protecting me. My Lord looked furious. His silver hair billowed around him, his gold eyes radiating fury at the man he couldn't see. He had come up behind my enemy, blocking the sword swing with Tokijin. I could have danced for joy at seeing his familiar face. He was always so good looking. There was not a trace of weariness or battle fatigue on my Lord's face._

_I knew my Lord would never let me down!_

_He pushed the man away with just a single sword swipe. "Leave," he commanded. I could not recall ever having heard him so mad before. I did not pity the man with the strange sword the fight he would have against Sesshomaru-sama. "You will only get in the way."_

_I was already helping Kagome rise to her feet, still holding the sword. _

"_Yes," Kagome agreed. She prodded me gently. "Come, Rin-chan." _

_I smiled up at my lord. "Sesshomaru-sama, here!" I lifted the sword so that he could see it. He looked at me, but he turned away, telling us to hurry and leave. I nodded obediently, laying the sword down for him. Kagome prodded me again, and we fled._

I awoke laying against Aun. The woods were just starting to wake up around us. Aun, of course, was already awake. I lifted my head from him, shaking off my memories. It was amazing that any memory I had of Sesshomaru-sama was still so clear when other names and faces had faded from me.

"We should go and bathe, Aun." I always bathed with Aun, when it was the two of us. I knew that he certainly didn't care that I was naked, and he would keep me from some of the human-like demons, like kappas—and humans themselves—who might take an interest in a woman bathing alone.

Picking myself up, I gathered what few supplies I had and began to walk to the river I had found last night when I went to get water for drinking. Aun patiently followed me. I bathed, undisturbed, and laid my things out on a rock to dry after I had washed them. Luck was with me, for the day was bright and sunny and it wouldn't take very long for my clothes to dry.

I contended myself with thinking. I had a lot to think about.

Sesshomaru-sama cared for me… I know he did. His actions said as much, even when I had been eight years old. So why then did he act as if that wasn't the case? Why then did he try to pretend like I was just some regular female?

If he cared for me, why couldn't he at least show me an ounce of physical affection?

* * *

We started off again in the afternoon. I rode Aun so that we could make better time, though we stuck to the ground. I was not as small and light as I had been when I was little. I didn't want Aun to expend all his energy by flying me around in case I needed to depend on him in a fight. It was much easier to travel through the roads. That was how I noticed the cairn by the side of the road. 

"This is an odd place for a grave, Aun," I said, sliding off of his back. Aun was restless. Unlike most demons, he really did prefer eating grass. The scent of blood and meat unnerved him. And this place reeked of blood. Years of being around blood wine, however, meant I could stand it long enough to investigate the cairn.

He fidgeted as I marched through the grass to see the grave marker clearly. A single stave identified the person buried beneath the pile of stones. When I read the name, I felt dread, though it took me a moment to put a face to the name.

The first thing I remembered was the eyes. He had pretty blue eyes. They were dark, as dark as the robes he wore. The second thing I remembered was the golden staff he carried with him. It always amazed me that he could walk so quietly despite the rings that hung from the gilded staff. Next came his hair. It had been dark, as dark as night. He wore it pulled back into a ponytail. I always wondered what it would look like if he had let it down.

Miroku.

Miroku was buried under those stones. I backed away quickly, not stopping until I felt Aun's shoulder press into my shoulder. My eyes stung. I had known the monk personally, but on the few occasions I had seen him, he had always been kind to me. He had always treated me as a young lady rather than as a child. I could still remember when I had met him as an adult, when I was going to human villages with Aun at my side and spreading the news: Sesshomaru-sama was the ruler of the Northern lands again.

"_If anybody has a problem with this," I said, looking around sternly at the faces gathered around me. "Sesshomaru-sama is willing to listen to your complaints, and he has sent forth his only human champion should any human wish to contest his rule."_

"_Sesshomaru-sama… ruling over us?" a woman said. It took me a moment to recognize Sango. She looked like she had been dragged through hell. There were lines and cares on her face I did not recall seeing. Her complaints to her husband were drowned out when a young man approached me from out of the crowd._

_I could tell he was a fighter immediately. He moved with the same grace power Sesshomaru did. He moved so much like Seshsomaru that it did not take me long to figure out that he had demon blood in him. _

"_And where is this champion?" the man demanded, tapping the hilt of a sword at his side._

_I grinned. "Right here." I could practically feel their surprise and disbelief. Not just a human champion… but a female one! I grinned smugly. Let my sex fool them. I could handle a sword as well as any man. I looked around at the ground in front of Aun and I. "I am the only human working for Seshsomaru-sama." I pushed back my hair from my face, tucking it behind my ear, and fixing my obi. "If you cannot defeat me, a mere human, than how can anyone expect to beat Sesshomaru-sama?"_

_Someone stepped forward from the crowd. "Those are dangerous words around here, lady. That may have worked at other villages, but not at this one. We're demon slayers. We could take this Sesshomaru."_

_I smiled at their foolish confidence, but Sango automatically hushed them. "I've seen Sesshomaru-sama fight. He's good. He's one of the best."_

"_Is he as good as uncle Inuyasha?" a little girl asked. She was no more than five years old. Her resemblance to Sango was uncanny, and it only took me a moment to figure out who the father was when a man in the outfit of a demon slayer bent to pick up the little girl, putting her on his shoulder._

"_He's as good as uncle Inuyasha, Arashi."_

_Arashi_ _didn't seem to believe them, but she remained silent._

"_I don't even see a sword on her," one of the students commented. They pressed a little closer. _

_Quick as lightning, I reached behind me and drew my wakazashi. Had I worn it in my belt, like Inuyasha did with Tetsusaiga, I would have attracted suspicion. Most women did not carry weapons. Our weapons were subtly disguised. I normally didn't really on the sword, but a question had been asked. It was only polite to answer it. I turned so that the students could see the sheath hidden in the bow at my back._

"_Hey!" chorused one of the students. "That's a neat trick! Sango, how come we don't have something like that?"_

"_Because only noble women and brides where kimonos," she answered, smiling at her students._

_My meeting was not going as well as I had expected. Rather than frightening these people, I was becoming a matter of interest for them. I had intended to command their respect and get their allegiance for Sesshomaru-sama, but instead I was earning respect and forgetting all about Sesshomaru-sama._

_I tapped my foot, impatient. If Sesshomaru-sama wanted me to alert all human villages to his rule within a fortnight, I did not have time to dawdle. "What is your reply for my lord?"_

_Sango and Miroku glanced at each other. They were not the village elders. They would not know for certain that the community would agree with them, but they were at an impasse. They spoke to each other with their eyes, and then Sango answered me. "I dislike the idea of having a man such as Sesshomaru-sama ruling over a human village. However… once he saved a human girl. So perhaps after spending years with her he will understand humans enough to treat us fairly. It would be folly for us to try and fight him off the throne, and even if we succeeded, who then would rule? Let Sesshomaru-sama inherit his father's kingdom, but let him know that if he ever strikes out at humans unnecessarily or unjustly, he will have us contend with, and we will take his other arm and all that is attached to it."_

_I nodded._

"_All of you," Sango chided, "back to work… we have lessons to do." She began herding the students away, including her five year old daughter. _

_Miroku smiled. He alone was left. I stood proudly as he approached me, sliding my weapon away. When he was close enough to me, he pressed two fingers under my chin and lifted my face so he could study me. I was outraged at how he was touching me. No one dared touch me. No man had dared to touch me before! But there was such warmth and kindness in his eyes… it had been so long since I had seen such emotion expressed so simply. It had been so long such I had seen such emotion period._

"_Look at you, Rin," he sighed, his fingers falling away. "You've turned into a young lady. Sesshomaru-sama must be treating you well. He seems to be doing a good job raising you."_

_He turned away from him, checking the harness on Aun._

"_Sesshomaru-sama no longer has time for raising a human child. I'm an adult now, Miroku-sama."_

"_Will you be leaving so soon?" His voice was gentle and inquisitive. It even sounded a little bit sad. I stopped, turning back to look at him. "Kagome and Inuyasha will be arriving tonight. Shippo is at the well to greet them. Why don't you stay with us and spend the night, Lady Rin? They would all love to see you. Are you certain that you can't spare one evening?"_

_I couldn't. I had so much to do! But I remembered them. I remembered Kagome's gentleness and Shippo's exuberance, and I wanted to see Inuyasha. I wanted to see the man whom Sesshomaru-sama had always wanted to kill. I wanted to see Arashi up close._

"_Yes," I said, smiling at Miroku. "I will stay."_

_But I also remembered how Miroku would grab Sango. At the time I had barely understood. Now I did, and I held up a finger of warning when he went to take my arm. "But if you try to seduce me, Miroku-sama, I will scream so loudly Sesshomaru-sama will hear me and come and remove anything that makes you male. Do we have an accord?"_

"_We have an accord," he said with a grimace at the idea. _

_His hand was still in the air. I took it, my other hand leading Aun through the village. I could hear the students and their families whispering about me._

"_I would not have touched you even had you not made threat to me, Lady Rin," Miroku muttered to me as we walked through the village._

_I smiled, intrigued. "Oh? And why is that?"_

"_Because," he answered, his own smile stretching from ear to ear. "I am a happily married man with a daughter. As beautiful as you are, Lady Rin, I am more than satisfied with my life."_

I looked back at the grave marker. 'I hope you were still satisfied with your life, Miroku-sama.' Reaching over, I patted Aun. "Come. We will return to the field we stayed in last night. We will stay there on more night. In the morning we will set off again… and I will bring flowers for the monk's grave."

* * *

To be continued... 


	5. Chapter 5

5

Sure enough, the next morning I returned with a bouquet of flowers for Miroku's grave. I even said a little prayer for him, which I found difficult to do. I have seen much death in my life, including, in a strange way, my own, but I understand it very little. Where do you go when you die? What does it feel like? Do you simply cease to exist? If that is the case, then why pray for someone who doesn't exist anymore? Is there a heaven? If there is, then why pray for someone who is happy? Is there a hell? If there is, how do you know if the person you are praying for is in heaven or hell? Or is there only reincarnation? If there is, then why bother praying when it is the actions a person did in life which will determine how they return to this life?

Yes, I found praying for Miroku-sama very difficult, but I said a little prayer for him. I think he would have wanted me too. I traveled with Sesshomaru-sama, so I knew him very little, and I saw him even less, but I always remember him digging graves for people and praying for them.

It was upon this second visit that I found the bodies on the other side of the road. The day was warm already, unlike the day before which had been clouded over and windy. The flies were at the corpses on the other side of the road. I could hear them, but worse was the smell. Plugging my nose, I leaned over the bushes to investigate. Bodies of highway bandits had been dragged together in a pile. Their corpses were bloated and deformed with death, but it was clear that they had been killed by someone who was an expert with the sword. All the wounds I saw which had been inflicting with a sword were crippling or killing marks.

Had these men attacked Miroku-sama? Is that why the monk had died? If so, then who had killed these men? Inuyasha had been strong enough to take Sesshomaru-sama's arm. Perhaps the years had been good to him and he had only developed in talent. If so, then maybe he had been the one to kill these men.

If Sesshomaru-sama knew of my thoughts, I knew what he would have said. He would have looked at him with his impassive face and said: 'Rin, why do you ask such foolish questions? You are a lady now. You should not be asking such foolish questions. It is unbecoming.'

Bitterly, I returned to the road and to my path, walking towards the village which Sango and Miroku called—had called—home. I do not know how I would have answered Sesshomaru-sama. Maybe I would have pointed out the while my curiosity may not be considered proper among demons, it suggested a mind in human society and that no matter how demon-like I may act by controlling my emotions and acting superior, I was still and would always be a human. Maybe I would have said nothing.

I approached the village just after midday. I could see it in the distance, the smoke rising from the houses where families were already preparing supper. I smiled. The village was always so warm and full of energy. Energy which was quickly approaching me in the sound of footsteps and the cries of children.

I drew my sword, feeling a demon approach. It was very faint… perhaps it was a weak demon or a young one. The wakazashi was familiar in my hands. Aun stayed behind me, preparing himself for a charge. The demon and the noisy children approached. I dug my feet into the earth…

And a kitsune came running towards me, frantically trying to run away from the children following him. I held my sword back and he skidded to a stop. Tilting his head, the red headed little demon looked up at me. "Do I know you?" he asked, forgetting all about the children which had been driving him from the village.

With his little furry jacket (a tad too small now, but carefully mended and stitched in places) and his hair done up in a tight bow, and the furry tail behind him, how could I not recognize Shippo? He was the only person I had known back then, back in the times of the quest of the Shikon no Tama, who was my own age. I fell to my knees, scooping him up into my arms. I am ashamed to say that my sword fell into the dirt. I was careless in releasing my weapon, but I could not help but want to hold Shippo.

His body was still. I could feel him blink. Then I heard him breathe in. I smelled liked the forest. I smelled of blood from the grave sight of Miroku. I smelled of sweat and of Aun and yes, I still smelled of Sesshomaru-sama, his scent so strong that only normally when I returned home from my errands was the scent fading. His scent had to be strong, as it was what protected us, marking us as his vassals in a way only demons could know.

"R… Rin?"

Tears almost came to my eyes when I heard him say my name. How long had it been since I had heard it? To Kohaku-sama and Sakura-sama, who I saw most often of all my human companions, I was _Lady_ Rin. To Sesshomaru-sama, I was simply Rin, but he said it so sharply, normally only to gain my attention. There was no way to make it soft for Sesshomaru-sama. But Shippo… oh, Shippo. He still saw me as the little girl flipping rocks with him when our paths met, or the little girl picking flowers and talking endlessly about Sesshomaru-sama and arguing with him over who was the better swordsman: Sesshomaru-sama or Inuyasha. Our fights normally ended up turning into a wrestling match, in those days.

"Shippo-kun!" I held him tighter, and then I recalled the people who had been chasing him from the village. I grabbed my wakazashi and stood up, holding Shippo to me with one arm. "Don't worry, Shippo-kun. I'm not going to let them hurt you."

"Rin? Who? Oh, wait!"

The boys—and girls, I realized—broke through the trees, their own weapons drawn and ready to be used. I saw swords, boomerangs, staves, daggers… I saw a wide array of weapons ready, but none came my way. The small herd of children stopped where they were, staring at us in shock.

"Do we attack?" one of them whispered to the other ones.

"Sensei wanted us to bring back Shippo," one of the older boys said. "We can't fail Sensei. I say we bring her too. She's only a girl. We can easily take her back to the village with us."

One of the other girls stood up straighter, lowering her daggers. "What do you mean 'she's only a girl'! Sensei would kill you if she heard you say that!"

Puzzled, I merely watched them, waiting for the herd of children to finish arguing. Shippo struggled against my hand, slipping out of grasp and crawling up to my shoulder where he perched a little precariously. I was surprised when he actually _stood up_ on my shoulder. Obviously Shippo-kun had been getting better had keeping his balance since I had last seen him.

"The game's over guys. We can try again later this afternoon. With all the noise that you were making, even a _deaf_ demon would have been able to hear you guys coming. Let me introduce to you the Lady Rin." He gestured to me and a few of the people in the crowd who recognized the name even bowed, making me blush as I put away the sword. "You guys can all go back to the village now. I want to talk to Rin privately."

He waited until all of the children had disappeared and then he looked at Aun. He jumped over to the dragon-demon, sitting on Aun's shoulder so we could speak face-to-face. He crossed his arms, trying to no doubt look he was in charge. Although I have no doubt that he grew up quite a lot, he had not changed very much physically.

He looked only a year or two older in the face, though his body had changed a lot. He always reminded me of a squishy teddy bear, but now that he had been growing up amongst demon slayers, the baby fat he had still been carrying was melting away to be replaced with muscle. When he was a fully grown demon and ready to find himself a mate, there was no doubt in my mind that he would have many female fox-demons lining up for the chance.

"Why were all those people chasing you?" I asked before he had the chance to question me first.

He grinned at me, his tail flickering behind him. "It was a game."

"A game involving real weapons drawn and ready to strike!" I demanded. I didn't know why I was so mad at the idea, but it made me furious.

Shippo, however, laughed. "Oh, don't worry about it. I've got too many tricks up my sleeve. They never would have been able to catch me. And even if they did, there's no wound they can give me that I won't heal from quickly, and they know it's just a game. They weren't trying to kill me, just apprehend me. It was a training exercise in tracking and being quiet. They kind of failed in the being quiet part, but then, most of those people weren't demon slayers. Only five of them were. The others were children from the village who just wanted to play, or whose parents want them to at least have some knowledge of anti-youkai skills, that way they can at least defend themselves.

"So what are you doing here, Rin?" he inquired.

"Sess…" My voice trailed away. I hadn't thought about what story I would tell them. Could I say that I had been sent by Sesshomaru-sama to gain Kagome's allegiance in dealing with these newcomers to Nippon? Why couldn't I? "Sesshomaru-sama sent me to talk to Kagome-sama."

His little face was crushed. He shook his head sadly. "You're too late."

"I what?"

"You're too late." His face scrunched as he tried to hold back tears from a wound that was still fresh. "Kagome-chan's never coming back here. The well is sealed. That was how she came to us, Rin-chan. No one… is ever going to see her again."

I heard the unspoken attachment to his sentence. 'No one is ever going to see her again… not even me.' I opened my arms for him, holding him tightly as he began to cry. I felt bad now for saying it so bluntly. Had I but known… Had I but known, I never would have made the suggestion to Sesshomaru-sama and I never would have made the journey in the first place!

Of course, he no doubt would have created some other errand for me. He would have had me delivering mail if it meant I would leave the house for a few days. Unfairly, I tacked on that he had probably wanted me gone so that he could air out the house from the stench of human.

I carried Shippo the rest of the way back to the village, and he explained to me what had been happening in the village over the past few months. Only then did I realize how far from humans had I become. Because I visited Kohaku and Sakura a lot, I didn't realize how quickly time had been passing, as if the other villages, the quiet ones I visited far less often, were untouched by time.

I didn't realize that Arashi, the little child I had seen once as she was still carried by her parents, was now a fully trained priestess working in the shrine. Nor did I realize that Sango too had aged, and that she had found her death a few months ago in her old age. Miroku, as I thought, had only recently passed on.

When he told me this news, Shippo-kun's tears started again and I held him tighter, brushing his hair with my other hand as I tried to console him. He continued to cry, and nothing I could do would make him stop. Such was the cost of mourning. It was an endless stream of tears for we humans, until we felt hollow inside from all the grief we had shed. Shippo was a demon, but he had been raised among humans. He grieved in the human way.

"Shippo!" a voice cried. Footsteps approached. The voice had sounded concerned, and I heard a weapon being drawn. "What did you do to Shippo to make him cry!"

With my arms full of Shippo, I didn't have time to grab my wakazashi where it was hidden in my belt. Instead, I grabbed my fan which was tucked into the front of my belt. I heard a laugh from somewhere when I opened it and held it in front of the lower half of my face. Glancing around me, I saw that I had spectators watching me. I don't know why they were laughing. Maybe they just thought it was amusing that my fan had yellow and orange flowers on it.

I turned to the sound of the voice in time to see that my attacker was a female before she threw a shuriken at me. I watched it fly, and I knew where it was going to land. I backed up a step and it landed harmlessly at my feet. It had only been a warning shot. I tapped my fan against my lips, Shippo stirring in my arms. He had cried himself to sleep as we had walked, but now he was starting to awake.

Against another female opponent and having been challenged, I could only answer back the challenge. I switched my fan to the same hand that held Shippo, so that I could retract my throwing hand. I felt the hilt of a dagger inside the long sleeve of my kimono. I threw it on the same path that she had thrown hers, so that it landed harmlessly at her feet. Whispers went through the crowd as they wondered from where I had pulled my weapon.

I smiled, spreading my fan again incase a fight did, in fact, ensue.

"Your mother would be very affronted if she knew this was how you greeted guests, Kissaki-chan," I said, recognizing the face.

The girl raised her head. She was no more than twenty years of age, but she still wore the same freckles she had inherited by her father, and her hair still held the red highlights she had inherited from her mother. She reached down, picking up the dagger and tossing it in the air, testing it for weight and balance. Shippo by now was fully awake, leaning against my shoulder and watching.

Kissaki smiled. "It's been a few years, Rin-sama. I almost didn't recognize you." She approached me, offering my back my dagger as I offered her back her shuriken. "I see that you still have your bag of normal tricks," she noted with a grin as her eyes searched me, lingering on the bow tying my kimono closed, the hem of my sleeves, my shoes, my fan, and my hairstyle.

"And you're as much like your aunt as you normally are." I closed my fan, slipping it away. I softened my face. It wouldn't do to smile when you told somebody you were sorry for the loss of their family, which I did.

Kissaki hung her head, and I could see that she was trying very hard to keep from becoming emotional. "Aunt Sango has been dead for awhile now. She hung on to the very last. We all had time to say our goodbyes to her. But… Uncle Miroku… it was so sudden." She shook her head sadly, holding out her hands. Shippo jumped from me to her. I felt a little sad that his presence was gone, but it was the right thing to do. They looked right together. Even in mourning, there was something about them that made me think they had been troublemakers together when they had been little kids.

"I saw your parents a few nights ago. They spoke nothing of Miroku…"

The younger girl shook her head sadly. "They don't know yet. No one outside if this village knows that Uncle Miroku is dead yet. I was planning on going on telling them, but then what would I do with all the demon slayers? With both Sango and Miroku gone… they were the ones who ran this operation. It was theirs, it was Aunt Sango's dream. Yugo and Kari, they're planning on coming here and teaching. They'll be great teachers. They were some of Aunt Sango's oldest and best students. Kari's the one who taught me a lot of what I know, what with Arashi being raised and everything, but Kari herself just had a child, so she can't move now. They're planning on coming next spring, when the roads are dry. So until then, I get to teach. I can't leave the village and the students when Arashi's too busy to take care of them."

Curious, I prodded. "What's Arashi so busy doing? Being a priestess?"

"Yes. She sealed the well yesterday." Her eyes briefly looked sad when she painfully remembered that this would mean no more Kagome and Inuyasha. There would be no more puppy ears to pull, and no more sweets. "But then there were some… complications. She hasn't even had time to mourn for her father yet."

"What complications?"

Kissaki shook her head. Whatever this complication was, she didn't want to talk about it just yet. Instead, she forced herself to smile. "It's good to see you again, Rin. If you're staying long, feel free stay with Shippo and I." She looked around. I knew who she was looking for. "Where's Aun? Surely Sesshomaru-sama wouldn't let you come here without someone to watch your back."

I smiled at her. "I left him on the road so he could graze by the roadside. Aun can look after himself, after all, and he always seems to cause a commotion when I bring him into town."

"Kissaki-sama?" One of the girls from the posse that had been following Shippo shyly tugged on Sakura's hand to get her attention. The girl pointed at me. "Who is this?"

She smiled down at the girl. "This is Lady Rin. She works for Lord Sesshomaru, and takes our problems to him."

The little girl's eyes widened. "You mean… lord Sesshomaru and Rin from the story that Shippo tells us? They're _real_? I always thought he had been making them up!" She turned to me, tugging on my hand. "Rin-sama… is it true that Shippo fought against the Thunder Brothers and killed them both single handedly? Is it true that you followed around Lord Sesshomaru everywhere? Is it true that Master Inuyasha cut off Lord Seshsomaru's arm? Is it true that…."

I laughed, silencing her. "Slowly, slowly! I can only answer so many questions at a time!"

The rest of the day passed quickly. The crowd of children I had around me began to grow, until I think that passing adults were leaving their children with me so that I could entertain them with my stories. I was telling them about Sesshomaru-sama's ability to produce toxic gas when the crowds began to dwindle off as parents came to reclaim their children and take them off for supper. Finally, only two children were left, one of them being the young girl who had started this whole mess by asking me a stream of questions.

"Why did you draw a fan to fight Kissaki-sama?" she inquired, placing a hand against my kimono as she leaned up to see the fan I had drawn.

With a compliant smile, I drew it for her, turning it so that she could see the backside of the fan. The framework of it was constructed from demon bone. It would take another demon to break it. Moreover, the ends of the fan were incredibly sharp. If someone came to close to me, I could easily slice or stab them.

The little girl turned the fan again so that she could see the yellow and orange flowers on it. "It's pretty… and it's old. Who made it for you?"

"A demon named Toutousai made it, under the payment of my lord Sesshomaru," I said with a smile, tenderly touching the gift myself. "And it is very old. It was given to me when I was fifteen years old."

"Why did he give it to you? Was it your birthday? Is it a promise gift?" The little girl frowned, looking at the flowers. "No man I know would give a girl a gift with flowers unless it was because he was courting her and trying to impress her."

"None sense," I laughed. The very idea of it was foolish! Sesshomaru-sama? Give _me_ a gift intended to suggest that he was going to ask for my hand in matrimony? It was ridiculous. It was never going to happen. Sesshomaru-sama will employ a half-demon in his services, and he may employ a human girl in his services, but he will never have a human wife, or even a human bed fellow. He loves his father, he wants to prove he was a better lord than his father, but above all else he will ensure that he will never fall into the same traps that his father did.

Maybe Sesshomaru-sama will never marry at all.

"It has flowers on it because he knows I like flowers. That is all," I said, taking the fan back and shutting it. I put it back away.

"Thank you so much for entertaining these two," a plump village woman said. She cut off anything the loud girl might have said in retaliation. She took her children by their hands, bowing courteously to me. "You have no idea how much cleaning I was able to get down without these two making a mess behind my back every time I turn around! Your children must be pleased to have you as a mother."

"I don't have any children," I snapped, standing up. "I am unmarried."

"Oh…." The woman didn't seem to have expected this. She stared at me a moment, and then shook her head. I heard her mumble something about pretty girls and spoiled goods as she walked away.

Spoiled goods? Was that what they thought I was? That some man had… had forced himself on me and now no one wanted me because I wasn't a virgin? Was that what they had all thought?

How come everyone thought that? Why! It just… it wasn't fair!

I turned away from the woman, stomping through the village angrily. Every time someone found out I wasn't married, they all thought it was because I had been some weak little girl. Now I remembered why I hated villages! At least in the larger ones, where some minor lord ruled, they knew enough about Seshsomaru-sama that if they wanted to say something like that about me, they _didn't_ because they valued their lives.

Was that why every year Sesshomaru-sama asked me why I didn't wed? Did I… God! All this time I had thought that I had brought him honor and pride by working steadily for him, by trying to make my little patch of dirt beautiful, by trying to be a proper lady and at the same time making people acknowledge my own power by speaking my mind behind the privacy of closed doors…

All this time I had wanted to make him proud that he had saved me and in fact I was disgracing him by being an unmarried woman of my age in his house, acting like some whore living amongst married and unmarried men, and insulting his prowess! If I was 'spoiled goods', then what did it say about the man who had tried to protect me since I had been eight years old?

All these years….!

No wonder he never said that he was proud of me! I had dishonored my lord! And why? Because despite the truth, I hoped for the chance that maybe, just maybe, he might love me back enough to marry me? That he might be the one to give me my first kiss or bed me for the first time? That I might escape the fate of other women and actually _love_ the man who takes me to bed for the first time? That there might be some feeling behind sex rather than lust or duty?

I was a fool! A sentimental, _human_ fool! I _knew_ that he would never do that! Why? Why did I prolong this? Why did I prolong leaving him? It would only make things worse! Who in the world would want a woman in her thirties, a woman who might die in childbirth?

Kissaki had shown me her hut. I walked to it—I nearly _ran_ to it—so that I could apologize and tell her I was leaving. She told me I could enter. "Kissaki, I… I…" Another girl was sitting with Kissaki. I didn't recognize her. I recognized the weapon laying beside her.

_Lord Sesshomaru was fighting his half brother, who had been taken over by some sword. It seemed to fuel his anger even more. When they fought, at first it looked as if Inuyasha would quickly lose to Sesshomaru-sama. Inuyasha was agile and strong, but Sesshomaru-sama was always _more _agile and stronger. Then the sword began to change Inuyasha. From where I hid with Jaken-sama behind the rocks, I could see Inuyasha's gold eyes, almost identical in color to Sesshomaru-sama's, change. They looked red, like Lord Sesshomaru's eyes looked before he became a large dog. He tried to push Sesshomaru-sama off a cliff._

_Sesshomaru-sama was able to hold it off, a mere foot or two from the edge of the cliff. I did not know it then, but the sword was speaking to him, mocking his father. As I watched, Lord Sesshomaru moved so quickly I could not follow it. One moment he was trapped under the possessed sword, and the next moment he yelled "silence" and he pushed Inuyasha back, swinging his sword and knocking Inuyasha to the ground._

_As his half-brother was flung to the ground, Sesshomaru-sama dropped his sword. It had not been strong enough to defeat the possessed sword. But Tetsusaiga would be strong enough, though he could not hold it. He lunged forward anyway, reaching his right arm for his father's sword._

_His hand wrapped around the tattered hilt of the sword. Light blinded me, but I could hear it as it as drawn, transforming into the form of a fang as it was released from the confines of the sheath. Lord Sesshomaru held Tetsusaiga in his own hand, for the first time in his life._

That same sword now lay on the ground next to a girl wearing a pair of strange pants. I looked from the sword, finding myself met with blue eyes which reminded me of Kagome's eyes. However, the girl's expression was stubborn. I recognized that stubborn expression anywhere. It looked like Sesshouaru's brother's.

Silence fell in the room as I stared at the girl in front of me. I had thought that such a thing was impossible! A _quarter_ demon? There was no trace of demonic features on her anywhere!

Worse, she carried the sword, that damn sword Sesshomaru-sama had been trying to steal for decades!

Kissaki sighed. "Lady Rin, meet Kaede-chan. She's Inuyasha's daughter."

…my lord was _not_ going to be happy when he learned of this!


	6. Chapter 6

AN: Yes, I am updating this story again. I can't believe that people are still reading it! It makes me all warm and squishy inside. I will do my best to post the next two chapters, both of which are written out, but then I need to find my outline so I know where I was going. Other than two of the bloodtwists, I don't recall how I was going to get to the end. Sesshy is so straight and narrow I find it a little hard to get him to be, in an emotional kind of sense, where I want him to be. Thank you for all your support! --Personification of Fluff

**-6-**

I thought she was adopted.

I had never met Kaede, though I heard about her from Kouga and Ayame. I had always thought that she had been adopted. Who had ever heard of a quarter demon? I remember once when I had been little, I had asked what would happen if Inuyasha and Kagome ever wedded and had a child. Seshsomaru-sama merely glanced at me and sternly told me not to ask foolish questions.

At the time that had been enough of an answer for me. I thought he had meant that they were not compatible, that half-demons, like other half-breeds, were incapable of bearing children, that they were sterile. Apparently, however, I had been incorrect.

There was no doubt that Kaede was Inuyasha's child. There was no way she could look so spiteful when she saw me, so overprotective of Kissaki without being Inuyasha's child. As I looked closer, I saw minute traces of her father. Her fingernails were more like claws, and she pushed her dark hair behind her ear. Her ears were slightly pointed. Although her hair was dark, her skin seemed to have a silvery shimmer to it. The rest of the hair on her, those on her arms, on her knuckles, were pale silver. She smiled at me, her canine teeth a bit too sharp for normal human teeth.

"You must be Rin," she said, nodding her head. "Mom talks about you a lot, you know."

I felt myself blush. Kissaki moved over a little, indicating that I should sit down. "Why would your mother do that?"

Kaede shrugged. The action was rough, much like her father's shrugs had been whenever Kagome told him to mind himself. Physically she seemed as reserved as Inuyasha, but at least she had learned some of her mother's social skills. "I think she was quite taken with you when you were little. She's told me that Sesshomaru-sama was quite cold and abrasive at times, much like my father, though Dad never managed to pull it off as royally as Sesshomaru, so he always looked like a brat rather than a warlord. I grew up with Dad. It was tough at times. I can't imagine that living with Sesshomaru could have been any better."

I wanted to smile, amused by her logic, but I didn't. Instead I pursed my lips and my eyebrows, looking between Kissaki and Kaede. "She shouldn't be here. You shouldn't be here, Kaede." My words were fast. I was a little surprised at my own insistence. "Arashi sealed the well, right? You have to get her to unseal it as soon as possible. Go back to your own time, Kaede!"

"I'm afraid that's a tad impossible right now," a cool voice said. I glanced behind me to see a priestess walking into the house. She looked around, shuddering a little at being back in her old house and finding her parents absent. Shippo sat in her arms, ever the young child we women willingly protected and carried. It was impossible not to recognize Arashi. She was every bit as reserved and charming as her parents had been. She had her father's appeal, but it was her mother's politeness and her own history that made her appear withdrawn at times.

Arashi glided into the house, sitting down. She also moved like her mother. Every step she made was filled with assurance. She looked around at us, her eyes as dark a blue as Kaede's were a pale shade. When those landed on me, I almost felt like I was looking at Miroku's ghost. I just barely managed to hold back a shiver.

"And why is that impossible?" I demanded sourly.

She blinked, answering me slowly as she released Shippo, letting the fox-demon sit between us. "Because it takes more power than I have to unseal the well. Kikyo was strong, ridiculously strong. I am stronger than her, in my own way," she said without any trace of pride. She wasn't bragging, she was merely stating a fact. "But Kagome is still stronger than both of us combined. Only she will be able to break the seal on the well, which is as it should be."

She paused, thinking of something. "I assume that you know about Kagome's secret, as you haven't asked why the well is so important?"

"The well connects this world to hers. I had always assumed that because of her odd style of clothes and speaking that she came from somewhere quite different than ours."

'Some place where they speak the language called 'English'…' I mentally added to myself. I couldn't forget my original mission.

Arashi nodded. Kaede looked merely homesick and I felt Kissaki watching me carefully for my reaction. "She, in fact, didn't come from very far at all. She grew up in this village. She grew up, more specifically, on the shrine. But she will grow up five hundred years from now. The well doesn't link two places, Rin, it links two times. And it can only be used by Kaede and her family. In less than five hundred years from now, a fifteen year old girl from the Higurashi shrine will unseal the well and fall back five hundred years into the past, where she will unseal a hanyou from the Goshinboku and she will shatter the Shikon Jewel, bringing forth the events that brought us here together on this very night."

I shook my head confused. "Wait… are you saying that this has happened already, or that it will happen?"

"It's always happening," Kaede answered. "The past and the future are like the ripples in a pond. When an event happens, it happens once, creating ripples over the surface of the water, but those ripples will continue moving, and other ripples will follow, and they will continue moving… following exactly the same path as the first ripple."

"But another disruption on the surface water will cause more ripples, and eventually they'll meet and disrupt each other."

Arashi nodded. "It's not the best analogy. Think of it this way, Lady Rin. At this moment, for _you_, this is the present, yesterday was the past and tomorrow is the present. But yesterday, yesterday was the present for you. The present was the future, and the day before yesterday was the past."

Her point was a little hard to follow, but I understood what she was saying. I nodded. "All right. Continue, please."

"Very well. How can you be sure of what exactly is the past or the present? We've already proved that it is not constant. The present is constantly changing. It is next week, but the future is also tomorrow, the next hour, and the next minute. When exactly does the line from the present and the future exist? Do we live from moment to moment? Is one moment the past and one moment the present and another the future? If so, then how do you know when you have passed from the moment of the present into the moment of the future?"

"I suppose that you wouldn't know," I said. This was by far the most confusing conversation I had ever had!

"Precisely. We could be in the future right now, but because we are _in_ it, it would be called the present. So tell me, a girl five hundred years from now may be in our future, but what is she in?"

"She would be in her present."

Arashi nodded, and I thought I saw the smallest smile beginning to spread across her face. "Again, precisely. Sesshomaru-sama has done an excellent job raising you if you were able to follow all of that. Now then, if we are in the present and so is she, it's quite obvious that we are all in the present, aren't we?"

My mind faltered at grasping this. It was quite easy to understand. It was just a trick of Arashi's words after all—oh, had she ever inherited her father's social skills! What made me falter and gasp like a fish out of air was that I had understood the point Arashi was trying to make. If Kagome and I, five hundred years apart, were both in the present, then we were, in a sense, existed alongside one another.

"You're trying to suggest that there is no past or future?" I asked. I had understood the point she was trying to make, but that didn't mean that I had to accept it.

"I'm trying to suggest that the present, past, and future is determined by the individual. Just as there is this Arashi in the present talk to you, there is a shadow of the actions I have done—that being the ripple that Kaede was talking about—that is always trapped in doing the things that I have always done, forever trapped in that 'present' I have created. When Kagome travels in time, she is still in the present but it crosses with the shadow realm—with the ripples—that we left behind, and so her present connects with the present that we made when we were alive."

"But then… if she changed anything…"

"Who's to say that she can change anything? Who's to say that those changes matter?" Arashi asked, looking around the circle.

She hadn't really answered my question, but I was becoming irate. Kagome traveled through time. They hadn't needed to go into the details of how it may—or may not—have been possible. I sighed. "What exactly does all this have to do with the well?"

"Kagome is the only one who can open the well, and she will not be able to do so for five hundred years."

"And you can't open it because…"

Arashi smiled at me. I think she was being a little sadistic. "It's like a door…" I mentally sighed. Not another analogy! "The doors they have from Kaede's time, according to my dear cousin's stories," she added, looking at her cousin suspiciously. "Is that they have doors that _swing_ shut with a single touch. It takes very little effort to shut the door. That is what I did. I nudged the door, and I shut it with very little effort. But to open the door, you need to grab this knob—a protrusion—from the door and twist it, and then pull it open. Only Kagome has enough spiritual power to be able to do that. It leaked from her when she was little. She couldn't control it. As soon as she is born, the seal on the well will dissolve, and she will be pulled through again."

I stared at them, scarcely believing what I was hearing. I pointed at Kaede, so frustrated and drained that I had the audacity to raise my voice. Polite women did not raise their voices in polite society. "She _has_ to leave!" I yelled. I felt bad. Kaede actually looked confused and hurt that I was singling her out, and I watched it melt away to loneliness when she remembered she couldn't go home.

Kissaki glared at me, defending her friend. "Why does she have to go? Kaede traveled between her time and ours. She has every right to be here as we do. I know that we aren't her mom and dad, but we're still her family. We love her. We're her friends. We grew up with her." She draped an arm around Kaede, pulling her close, and the blue-eyed girl snuggled closer to Kissaki, seeking comfort. "She could stay here with us."

My eyes narrowed and I looked at her sternly. "She could stay here with you, but if she does, her life will be in danger." I paused to let this information sink in. "I don't know what happened between you and Kouga and Ayame to keep them from saying anything, but if another demon finds out about Kaede, her life will be in danger."

"Why would anyone want to hurt Kaede-chan!" Kissaki yelled, mad at the generalities of my statements. She held Kaede closer.

I took a deep breath to keep from yelling back at Kissaki. "Because she's a _quarter_ demon. People don't like half demons, Kissaki. What do you think is going to happen when people find out that it's possible to have a quarter-demon? No one ever tried to have one before. Many half-demons were killed at birth. Many didn't survive. The demons considered it a mercy killing because they didn't think that a half-demon could live a normal life. They always though that half-demons couldn't bear children, that they were sterile. Kaede's existence proves them wrong. They will kill her. They will consider her an abomination, and they will not stop hunting her until they kill her. Maybe they'll even kill all those who knew her, to keep from letting the secret out. Demons will not take her existence laying down, and you can't hide her forever."

Arashi was quiet. When she spoke, her voice was stern. "You work for Sesshomaru-sama. Are you planning on telling him?"

"I already told him that Kagome and Inuyasha had a child. Kouga and Ayame told me. I had always thought they had adopted some orphan. I think, for now, that Sesshomaru-sama feels the same way I did. He will not come here so long as he thinks you have no blood-relation to Inuyasha. And so, that means that you cannot use _that_," I said, pointing at Tetsusaiga. "As soon as you use it, he will know that the sword is back. Tenseiga and Tetsusaiga are related. As the sword was left with Inuyasha, he will come looking for your father to fight him for that damned sword, and he will find you."

Kaede picked up the sword, holding it against her chest. Her face was feral as she protected the sword as tightly as Kissaki protected her. "Let him come and find it! I won't let him take the sword!"

"You can't protect it when you're dead, Kaede-sama."

Arashi had had enough of our fighting. "Enough!" she snapped. "If Lady Rin is going to try and help us, then she isn't planning on telling Sesshomaru-sama, and if using the sword will alert him to your existence, Kaede, then you will _not_ use the sword under any circumstances."

"Whatever."

Apparently 'whatever' seemed to be a response enough for Arashi, because the priestess continued. "Lady Rin, I cannot open the well, but I never said that it was impossible for me to send Kaede-chan home. However, the ingredients for the spell are quite expensive. Some of the ingredients are worth more than we demon slayers will make in a year. One of the ingredients we cannot get without your help."

"And why is that?"

She looked completely serious, though an aura of sadness seemed to fall around her. "I need something to tie her back to her own time. As you can see, unlike Kagome she came unprepared for this time. She has no cloth from her own time, no healing medicines or strange contraptions which Kagome had always brought with her. But there is one thing that exists in this time, as well as in the future, and it also links to Kaede."

I had a strange feeling I knew where this was going.

"Blood."

I sighed. I had been correct. "You need Seshsomaru-sama's blood because he's her uncle, and though diluted in Kaede, his blood is also in her veins." I was staring at Kaede, trying to see if there was some sign of Sesshomaru-sama in her. If there was, I couldn't see it. From the corner or my eyes, I saw Arashi nod. "How much blood do you need?" She told me. It wasn't a lot, but it was enough that Sesshomaru-sama would notice.

"It also has to be in liquid form."

"So I can't cut him and soak it up and then give you a square of silk." Arashi shook her head. I swallowed. I couldn't believe what I was planning on doing. "And you need his money as well, to be able to afford these things." Arashi nodded again. I reached into my purse, sewn into my clothes for safety's sake, and I pulled out a few gold pieces. "I can pay for those."

The priestess stared at the money on the ground as if it were tainted. Maybe she could have been more willing to accept my help if I hadn't sound so grumpy when I tossed them on the floor of the hut. They didn't understand my predicament. One part of me wanted to run and tell Sesshomaru-sama about Kaede, but I couldn't let an innocent little girl die. So instead I was planning on committing treason—again—to help Kagome's bloodline—again. If Sesshomaru-sama found out about this, he would never forgive me.

Kissaki seemed to be reading my thoughts. She looked up at me suspiciously. "You work for Lord Sesshomaru. Why are you doing this?"

I merely stared at her, my brown eyes hollow. "Because I know what it's like to lose a family."

I stood, brushing off my clothes. "I will take my leave of the village now. Aun and I will leave. I will return as soon as I can. Hopefully the blood won't be too difficult to get. The money, however… I get paid at the end of the month. You may have my wages, if you wish. I have no need of them. However, if you still require more money, then you must be prepared to give something up in exchange. Lord Sesshomaru will give up nothing for nothing." I turned to the Priestess. "Arashi-sama… I was terribly sorry to find out about your parents. They will be sorely missed by those who knew them, and I am sad I didn't have the chance to know them more in life."

I left, but the discussion continued. When they were certain I could no longer hear them, Kissaki spoke up, crossing her arms stubbornly. "I don't trust her," she told the other three. "She was raised by Sesshomaru-sama!"

"What does that have to do with anything?" Shippo asked, rolling his eyes, a habit he had picked up long ago from Kagome.

"Well… it's Sesshomaru!"

With a sigh, Shippo stood up, staring up at Kissaki. "Kissaki-chan, Sesshomaru may dislike humans, but he's treated us fairly since he became the lord of this area. He may try to kill Inuyasha on a regular basis, but he's never succeeded. He may have raised Rin, but that doesn't mean that Rin will give away Kaede's presence to him. If anything, it means quite the opposite. Rin's a sweet girl. Nothing can change that. She'll do what's right. She may have sworn fealty to Sesshomaru, she may even love him, but she values honor. It would be dishonorable to turn Kaede in when she hasn't done anything wrong. Prejudice endangers her life, and nothing else. And _that_, Kissaki, that matter of honor, _that_ is what she learned from Sesshomaru-sama. If anything else, Sesshomaru-sama is honorable."

Kissaki wasn't convinced, and no wonder. All she had heard growing up were the stories about the animosity between my lord and his half-brother. She thought that Sesshomaru-sama was so bloodthirsty for Inuyasha's blood that he would take Kaede's simply because she was of his blood. And she thought that I, having grown up hearing about the weaker powers of half-demons or general statements about how much Sesshomaru-sama hated his brother, that I would be more than willing to help Sesshomaru-sama exact revenge.

"What's honorable about trying to kill your own kin?" she hotly demanded.

"The fact that Sesshomaru was only interested in killing Inuyasha, and no one else. Yes, all those years ago, he killed a lot of people. I saw him kill a hundred demons with one swing, once. But he still had honor to him. Let me tell you a story. The first time I met Sesshomaru-sama, he had already lost his arm to Inuyasha. He had replaced it with the arm of a human."

Kissaki snorted in disgust. "Why would he go and do a stupid thing like that? Shouldn't he have found the strongest demon in the world and taken his arm, if Sesshomaru wanted one so badly?"

He smiled at her patiently, a wisdom beyond his years beginning to show through as he remembered the meeting perfectly. "Maybe he would have done that…"

"But he wants the Tetsuseiga," Kaede said, motioning to the blade. "I'm not entirely sure how the sword works. Dad keeps telling me he'll tell me when I'm older. But I do know this much. I can hold it because I want to protect humans. Dad can hold it because he wants to protect Mom. And Mom can hold it because she _is_ human."

"Right. But Sesshomaru isn't human, and he doesn't want to protect a human. But by using a human arm, he could fool the sword into thinking he was a human, or maybe a hanyou, and he was able to use it." Shippo shook his head. "Your father, Kaede, was beaten very badly in that fight. I don't recall ever having seen him more beaten than that fight. By the end of it, he was unconscious, and he refused to sit still and heal."

Kaede giggled. "That's my Dad! Even now he refuses to sit still and get a Band-Aid. You should have seen him when…. Sorry, Shippo," she said, dropping her eyes demurely. "Go ahead and finish. I'll quit interrupting."

"Thank you. But before the fight was over, Inuyasha got the sword back. That should be obvious to you, as Kaede has the sword now, and not Sesshomaru. But how did he get the sword back? He got it back with Kagome's help. Kagome shot one of her arrows at Tetsuseiga and turned it back into an old sword. Sesshomaru warned Inuyasha not to let Kagome interfere. Of course, you can imagine what Inuyasha did. He yelled at Kagome to stop it, but she continued to fight anyway. That was after she helped Miroku."

Arashi looked down at Shippo when she heard her father's name. Miroku had told her many stories when she had been a babe, but of course she couldn't recall them. And as she had lived apart from her friends and family at the shrine since she had been a young girl, she had not heard many of the stories they had. "Why did Father need help?"

"Because of the poisonous bugs he had swallowed through his kazaana. He quickly got a fever and found it very hard to move. Kagome had some medicine from her time to help him, and as soon as it was administered, Kagome was back to fighting. She managed to shoot off Sesshomaru's armor, and Sesshomaru warned Inuyasha for the second time not to let Kagome interfere."

Kissaki snorted again. "Knowing Aunt Kagome, that probably would have pissed her off even more. Didn't Sesshomaru realize that? Why didn't he just talk _to_ Kagome and tell _her_ to stop?"

Arashi looked at her cousin. Sometimes Kissaki could be very smart. And then there were sometimes when Arashi had to remind herself that Kissaki was very much a fighter, and not a thinker. She reminded her of Inuyasha as well. "Think about what you just said, cousin dear. You're asking why Sesshomaru-sama didn't talk directly _to_ a human. Do you warn a mosquito not to bite you? Do you tell a barking dog not to bark, or do you tell its master to quiet the dog?"

"Fine. It was a stupid question."

"You're right though. Kagome only fired another arrow. Sesshomaru managed to catch it. It didn't even hurt him. His touch dissolved it. And then he attacked Kagome."

"Sesshomaru attacked my _mother_?" yelled Kaede. From the anger in her voice, it sounded like she had half a mind to find Sesshomaru-sama and tell him off for having attacked her mother.

Shippo thought a moment. "He did. I think he ever only attacked her on that one occasion. She got a little bruised and she did end up going unconscious, but Inuyasha was there to save her. Of course he wouldn't let anything bad happen to Kagome. The point is that Sesshoumaru was intent on killing Inuayasha, no one else. He gave the others a chance to live, when he could have killed Kagome outright." He patted his stomach. "Now then, if you don't all mind. I'm going to go check on Kirara and then I'm going to go to bed myself."

Their voices became more hushed.

"What about Kirara?" Kaede asked in a whisper.

Arashi answered her with a sigh. Her voice, even quiet, sounded strained. "You know that after my mother died, Kirara went off on her own. She came back just before my father died. She wouldn't leave his side." Her voice began becoming more pained. "I think that they were still mourning for her together. Kirara had been with mom since she had been a little girl, after all. And she had almost always liked my father. She settled down a little, quieted down. She never transformed. She just acted like a housecat. She sat on my dad's lap, letting him brush her, and she perched on his shoulder when he was out walking around. I think she was helping him see when he walked, and in return, my father gave her companionship.

"But then dad died. Kirara's been by the well ever since," she finished sadly.

"Why the well?" Inuyasha's daughter asked. "It's not like the well will open up or…"

Something in her voice made me think Arashi was giving Kaede a sweet smile. "Before we were born, Miroku and Sango and Shippo would sometimes wait out there for Kagome. That way they could be there for her as soon as she arrived. I think she's out there because it's so familiar to her. Inuyasha's forest looks the same way as it did when Kikyo was born. She's deluding herself. She still hadn't accepted mother's death, and now father too, is gone…."

I heard a sniffle, and someone moving. I heard Kissaki's voice. "Why don't you stay here tonight, Arashi? I found your father's stash of sake. We can stay up talking, as long as we're quiet so we won't disturb Shippo. I don't like the idea of you being up in that shrine all by yourself. Kirara wasn't the only one who lost two people she loves in such a short period of time."

"I'm not supposed to drink…"

The tent flap opened and Shippo walked out. It's always a little funny to see him walking erect. He kind of waddles from the way his legs are designed. His body is still young, meant for running on all fours, though by the time he's fully mature, he will be able to pass among humans perfectly, minus a certain charm and beauty all fox-demons are said to possess when they are fully grown. Until then, Shippo was still adorably cute.

I blushed. I hadn't meant to be caught eavesdropping. Shippo, however, probably knew I had been there the whole time. Though young, he still had all of his senses intact. I smiled at him. "Thank you for sticking up for me."

"You'd stick up for me," he said with a shrug. It was, I suppose, the typical answer of a young child who had been raised among people with such uplifted spirits. There was no doubt in his voice. He was completely certain that I would have stuck up for him.

"Kaede," I said slowly, looking back at the house. "Does she have her father's scent?"

"It's not as strong as Inuyasha's, but yes. If you're planning on going home, I would suggest stopping at every stream and hot spring on the way there, and taking your time about it. She is only a quarter demon. It's not that strong, but I wouldn't suggest taking any risks. The scent will be gone in a week at most. How long will it take you to get home flying on Aun?"

I calculated it. "I guess about three days. I'll take my time and I'll walk part of the way. After all, I'm not as light as I was when I was little. Aun could probably use several breaks along the way."

Shippo nodded understandingly. I turned to leave, and then I paused, turning back around to look at Shippo. "Sango and Miroku… they raised you too, didn't they?" He nodded, looking sad. I smiled at him, kneeling down and placing a gentle kiss on his cheek. "They're proud of you. I know they are. I'll see you soon, Shippo."

I stopped again when I heard his voice. "I know Sesshomaru-sama is proud of you too, you know. He just won't say it."

I thought back to the comment the woman had made. She had called me "spoiled goods". I shook my head. 'We'll see, Shippo. We'll see.'

* * *

To be continued... still...

* * *


	7. Chapter 7

-**7**-

I took Shippo's advice. I stopped at every hot spring I could, scrubbing myself until I was pink and sore. Once I even scrubbed myself until I bled. I couldn't help myself. I did not want Kaede-chan to die. I did not want to see Sesshomaru-sama destroy that part of his bloodline because of some feud.

Gods above! I did not want him to kill his own _niece_!

Maybe it was dangerous of me. Although I was scrubbing off Kaede's scent, I was removing all of the other scents as well. I would return to Sesshomaru-sama smelling like only myself. And he would worry. He might even suspect something. Because, of course, I was removing _his_ scent as well! Sesshomaru-sama was very territorial. He might even be hurt when I returned back home and I had washed away every trace of him from my skin, as if I was ashamed of being connected to him.

But at that moment, I was. I was so ashamed to ever be linked with Sesshomaru-sama! How could he have put up with me for so long? Had anyone ever called me spoiled goods to his face? If they did… I wish he would have told me. I would have killed them myself for ever daring to insult me in front of my lord!

So I made up a plan. I felt so sneaky and crafty I reviled myself. Since when was I, Rin, so underhanded? Ladies of Sesshomaru-sama's court were not supposed to be so underhanded! But, of course, they were anyway. There was quite a difference between what women of the court were not supposed to do and what they did do behind closed and locked doors in the dead of night and within their own minds.

I arrived home with every step of my plan carefully plotted out repeatedly. I would be able to pull this off without ever making a single mistake… except that I didn't know how Sesshomaru-sama would react. So I had planned for questions, practicing them in my mind and out loud. No matter what he asked me, I had an answer ready.

After placing my travel packs in my room, I went to his study. That was more than likely where Sesshomaru-sama was. I think he spent all of his time at home in that room. He has a bedroom, but I don't even think that he knew where it was. The shoji screens were closed. That was no surprise. I could hear voices inside. I recognized Lord Sesshomaru's and Lord Jaken's. I knocked anyway.

"You may enter," my lord said.

I opened the screen door. I found myself facing not just Sesshomaru-sama and Jaken, but three other demon lords, all of them high ranking. I suddenly remembered my state of dress. My clothes were no doubt in need of a better scrubbing than I could do on the road, and I was more than certain I had a few leaves stuck in my hair. I should have changed, but that would have taken time, and I wanted to report to Sesshomaru-sama as soon as I had arrived home.

Then I remembered the way I smelled—foreign—and I felt myself flush. My face was intensely warm as I watched Sesshomaru-sama behind my lashes, my eyes half-closed as I curtseyed to him. I saw his nose twitch as he smelled me, and his eyes narrowed, realizing that I had cleansed myself of every scent I had encountered along the road.

"I have returned, my Lord."

"I can see that." I imagined I heard one of the demons coughing in an attempt to cover up his laughter at Sesshomaru's response.

"I would like to report my findings. When would you like to see me, my lord?"

He thought for a moment. "Go and clean yourself, Rin. I will not have a member of my household walking around looking like a dryad who decided to live with me because her tree is in the doors of this house." I grinned at his analogy. And people said he had no sense of humor. "Wait in your rooms, Rin. I will send Jaken for you when this meeting is done."

I was pressing my luck, but I had to ask. I bowed my head, curtsying again, and I saw Sesshomaru-sama purse his lips a little. He knew that I was going to ask for something else. "My lord… it has been two weeks since I have left your home. May I not… may I not tend to my lilies?"

This time I knew that the coughing demon was trying very hard not to smile. Sesshomaru-sama nodded again, and my smile was so large my face actually hurt. I felt his eyes linger on my lips, studying my smile and my face with interest and confusion. I wanted to run to him and hug him the way I would have when I had been a young girl, but I was no longer a young girl. Instead, I curtsied graciously. "Thank you, my lord!"

I bowed again—this time to other lords present—and I shut the door. I let out my own choked laugh as I ran to the bathhouse.

The demon that had suffered from a coughing fit grinned, looking up at Sesshomaru-sama. "She is a very excitable young lady," he remarked. Sesshomaru-sama merely nodded, grunting a reply. The smiling demon arched an eyebrow. "You do not approve of her youthful enthusiasm?"

"I did not even approve of it when she was a little girl," he said, growling. "She is far too old to be laughing and running around like a ruffian. Rin is a woman now, and she should start to act like it."

The other demon shook his head. "My lord, I was young when your father ruled here, but I remember those days well, and I long for the happiness we all felt when your father ruled. After he died, we were thrown into a civil war for two hundred years, until you assumed power, and then came that vile creature called Naraku, who continued to be a thorn in our side for the next fifty years… and then some. We have endured two hundred and fifty years of fighting and terror in one form or another. Our kind have forgotten their roles, my lord."

Sesshomaru-sama watched him appreciatively. "I am not my father," he pointed out, as much as it pained him to do so.

"No. I know you are not. You are much stronger than your father ever was. But we have a duty to do, my lord, and eventually you must remind people of what that duty is. If you do not, we will become feared, and we will die."

He arched an eyebrow, suspicious. What in the world would make the man say that? The other demon shook his head, looking apologetic. "Forgive me, my Lord. I spoke out of turn. But I must still admit—and willingly—that it warms my heart to hear laughter like that in a house again, and coming from a human girl, none the less." He looked at the door, yearning to follow, the sound of my laughter still echoing in his ears. "It amazes me. I envy you of that sound, my lord."

"Where were we?" Sesshomaru-sama asked irritably, uncomfortable with the topic of conversation. He only hoped that his abrupt change in topic appeared to be out of boredom and not because he was uncomfortable.

Jaken spoke up. "We were discussing the conditions of the grain fields in the south of your territory my lord. They are suffering from a drought, if you remember."

Sesshomaru-sama mentally groaned. Sometimes… he hated being the one in power.

* * *

I was right to want to visit my little patch of garden. In the time I was gone, all the weeds I carefully plucked had returned. I sat down, wearing the oldest dress I could find—and even they were still in perfect condition, as I tried to keep all my clothes prestine—and I began to work. I wished I could have hummed. I like humming. I must admit I'm not very good at it. I don't think I can properly carry a tune, but it makes me feel good. I like having music in my life. I have so little of it…

Though I was lost in thought, I was still aware the dog demon coming up behind me. I could feel his presence in the back of my mind, foreign, but comforting. His voice, however, still caught me by surprise, as did his words themselves.

"Your flowers look very pretty."

I sat back, enjoying the praise. I had never been complemented on my flowers before. I felt myself blushing at his kind words, a smile brushing my face. "They should. Sesshomaru-sama picked them out for me. They were a gift for me. Sesshomaru-sama would never pick out an ugly flower."

"You're doing a wonderful job raising them. They look very happy." He sat down next to me, and I looked up at him.

"Than… thank you, my lord."

"It eases me to see them in full bloom like this, Lady Rin. I am glad that I get to see them now, while they are in full bloom, because I know that one day, they will be gone when the warm season is over. The fact that they return offers me little comfort. It's never the same when they return for a second time."

He was the demon who had been trying not to laugh. He was very clearly a dog demon. He had the same pale, expressive face of Sesshomaru-sama and his half-brother. His eyes were not golden, but rather a delightful shade of hazel, like the eyes of a normal dog. His mouth was wide and very kind, pulling back into a shy smile. I could not recall the last time I had seen a demon smile like that before. His hair was long, pulled into a thick braid down his back. Unlike Lord Sesshomaru's his hair was auburn, variations of brown to black highlighting his hair. A blue crescent moon was visible on his forehead, a sign of his power, but he had no other markings. He looked much more human than Lord Sesshomaru. Also, he wore no armor, but he carried a weapon none the less, a strange looking sword.

Though armed, his presence was comforting.

I think it was because of his smile. It is a misconception that demons do not smile. Sesshomaru-sama, for instance, smiles often. But it is not a nice smile. It's more of a smirk. And I only see it when he's doing something… mean. It scares me. His smile is superior, and full of a vengeful spirit. I love Lord Sesshomaru, and I know that there is a good, kind, _happy_ smile in him somewhere…

I shook my head, adding a weed to my basket of weeds and wiping off my hands on a rag. I fixed my hair as I spoke to him. "Pardon me for saying so, my lord, but that seems quite an odd thing for a demon to say."

"Oh?" He sounded amused. I swore I heard a chuckled in his voice. "And why is that, Lady Rin?"

"Because you demons are so long-lived, my lord. We humans may take pleasure in the scent or the color of flowers, but we live such short lives compared to you." I kept my eyes down, my hands neatly folded in my lap. I lifted my gaze, but I could not bring myself to look him in the eye, as if I were on equal footing with this strange demon. I am proud of working for Lord Sesshomaru, and I am proud of whom I am, but I was still a human woman, and I would not risk making a demon lord mad and _forcing_ Lord Sesshomaru to come and save me.

"I do not mean to suggest that you demons do not take joy in the beauty of the world, merely that I thought you would be inspired by things that last for more than one season. I thought you would contemplate trees, the formation of springs or mountains… not the few months in which a flower blooms."

He was quiet, contemplating what I said, and he eventually laughed. I turned my face in his direction, staring at the design on his clothes, and listening with my ears. I was good with listening with my ears. I could hear his amusement in his laugh. He was not trying to be condescending or to mock me. He was earnestly amused, though I was uncertain as to how my observation was amusing.

"You're a very odd girl, Lady Rin."

I was answering before I was aware of it. "It takes an oddity to know an oddity," I said, before suddenly remembering I was talking to a strange demon lord and not to Jaken or Lord Sesshomaru. Quickly, the color drained from my face and I tried to cover my steps. "I mean…"

"No," he chuckled. "You are quite right. It does take an oddity to know an oddity. But, as I'm sure many demons find you humans odd, perhaps we should say that it takes a rarity to know a rarity."

My muscles relaxed with relief. "I think I like being called a rarity better than an oddity, my lord. As you have come to talk with me, would I be correct in assuming that the meeting is over?"

"You would be quite correct. Lord Sesshomaru is ready to see you now."

Confused, I did bring myself to look up at his face. He looked relaxed, his face smooth. He wasn't smiling anymore, but there was a certain… rarity about the expression of his eyes and the soft lines of his mouth that made my heart begin to thump wildly.

"He said he would send Jaken-sama out to retrieve me when the meeting was adjourned…"

"I asked to be sent instead," he told me, rising. He dusted off his clothes and then offered me a hand to help myself up. I stared at it, taking into account the curves of the muscles beneath his arm and his clawed fingernails. He patiently continued to hold his hand out for me. I felt guilty at being so mistrustful of him, but most demons were rather abrasive with me. And they sure as hell would never let me touch them.

The man smiled down at me, his hazel eyes puzzled. There was something about him that was… young, and naïve. I found it attractive, and my resolve was slowly fading away. I smiled at him, slipping my hand into his. His warm hand slowly closed around mine and he lifted me up to my feet. He held my hand as if it were easily breakable. I suppose, however, that for him my hand was as delicate as silk or spun glass in comparison to his strength.

"I have never seen you here before. Your clothes and your accent are strange. Are you a visitor from someplace far away?"

He shook his hand as he matched my pace and we began a casual stroll back to Sesshomaru-sama's study.

"No. I was born here in Nippon. I lived much of my life here. But for the last seventy years, I have been off seeing the world."

This caught my interest. My walk slowed. I wanted to hear more about his travels. "That must have been quite an adventure, my lord. I have not had an adventure since I was a little girl. Where did you go, my lord?"

"China."

I grinned. "China?" I gasped, surprised. I could understand traveling to another island, but all the way to the mainland! My grin slowly turned into a smile which promised daydreams. "I have heard much of China." My grip on his hand tightened unconsciously as I recalled the stories I had hear about the far land. "I have heard there are men in China—men, real men, not demons—who spend their entire lives on horseback, and that if they run out water, they will even drink the blood of their horses to quench their thirst. Can you imagine such a thing?"

"Yes, I can. They are the Khans. Do you think them barbarians for what they did?"

I blushed at his question, my mind suddenly blanking. My lips parted and I tried to remember to breath. Was a demon lord actually asking my _opinion_? Someone other than Sesshomaru-sama was asking my opinion? I shook my head. "I do not think so, my lord. I merely find it fascinating that such humans exist, and I wonder what you demons would think of them. Would you find them strong for being able to live such an arduous life or would you think them monsters?"

"This demon found them quite civilized," he said. I couldn't tell if he was teasing me or not. "The Khans established rule, and they made laws. They made it illegal for women to be abducted, or for women to be sold into marriage, and declared all children legitimate regardless of the father or mother. If we had rules such as those two hundred years ago when Lord Sesshomaru's half-brother was born…"

His voice trailed off and I quickly began to speak. I didn't want him to get into trouble for talking about Inuyasha, or insulting Lord Sesshomaru's father. There was an unfamiliar warmth in my voice, and I was not sure if it was because I was thinking of Lord Sesshomaru, or because of my present company.

"I love to travel," I told him. "When I was little, I traveled everywhere with Lord Sesshomaru. I did not like keeping still. I'm afraid I've gotten used to it. This castle is my home, but Sesshomaru-sama keeps me busy. If I stay here too long, I get an itch in my legs to start traveling." I slowly stopped. The door to Lord Sesshoumaru's study was right in front of me.

His hand released mine, and I suddenly felt his fingers in my hair, brushing it. Shivers went up and down my spine. I never could recall being touched like that by anyone but Sesshomaru-sama. He seemed to sense my discomfort, because he drew his hand away. I could hear his feet move as he pulled away from me.

"I will leave you to Lord Sesshomaru, Lady Rin, but I would very much like to talk with you in the future."

The color rose to my cheeks as I turned to look at him. "I would like to hear more about your travels, my lord, but my availability is dependent upon my lord Sesshomaru. If he wishes me to leave, I will go, and if he asks me to stay, then I will surely talk to you again, my lord."

"So be it, Lady Rin." He grinned at me and then walked away, carelessly waving a hand in the air. "Ja!"

I smiled. He was flirting with me. I was no spring pup. I knew very well that he was flirting with me, but if he actually hoped that I would lay down and willingly let him into my bed, he was going to be very sorely mistaken. But, as I had no proof that his interest in me was sorely for the purposes of bedding me, I had not been rude to him. But I was wary of him. I think it was because he was trying too hard to make me feel relaxed. Didn't he know that all he had to do was talk to me? He didn't have to try to be physically warm to me, or to try and be exceedingly nice to me by doing all the little things that humans do out of instinct, like smile or laugh. He could be cold and impassive and all he had to do was talk and I would warm up to him myself.

I knocked on the door.

"Enter, Rin."

I pursed my lips, opening the screen door and entering. I closed it tightly behind me. Lord Sesshomaru was in a bad mood. I only hoped that my lies would fool him. If he found out I was lying to him, I knew I would be punished. If he learned that in a bad mood, my punishment would be even more severe. I walked up to his desk, kneeling on the ground across from him. His nose sniffed me and I could feel the suspicions radiating off of him.

"Why are you scared, Rin?" he inquired. He made no move to comfort me in my fear. I didn't know if it was because he thought my fear was weak or if he was concerned that I feared _him_.

"Someone said something which was not kind to me my lord, and I wished to ask you to explain it to me. I fear your response, my lord." I wondered at how I could keep my voice so steady.

"Did Lord Hatsuhana say this thing which was unkind?" Lord Seshsomaru demanded. I could hear the indignation in his voice, and I wondered at it. Was it the pride of a man who sent Hatsuhana to me and he blamed himself for my injury? Was it jealousy I heard in his voice? Or was it the sheer over protectiveness of a father-figure?

My gaze flitted to the door. Hatsuhana. So that was his name. It was a very beautiful name, and it explained why he liked flowers. "No, my Lord," I said, trying to calm him down with the gentleness of my voice. "Lord Hatsuhana did nothing…" I remembered the way his fingers slid through my hair. Only Sesshomaru-sama's suspicious gaze snapped me out of my daydream. "He did nothing to upset me, my lord."

"But he touched you." His voice was accusatory. My cheeks went red. So it _was_ jealousy that was making him so irate! As if he had any reason at all to be jealous of Hatsuhana!

"He held my hand as he escorted me here, my lord. As we parted he…" The red color of my cheeks lightened to a blushing pink. "He touched my hair."

I looked down at the floor, feeling those gold eyes on me. I could feel his eyes narrowing, his gaze becoming so intense it was capable of burning. I could feel the temperature rising slowly just from having him being mad. Sesshomaru-sama has terrible power, so much of it that the air and the land around him can become affected by his mood swings.

"Why is it that his scent is on you but mine has been cleansed away?" His voice had risen in forcefulness. He was angry. I dared not look up. Sesshomaru-sama is beautiful when he is angry. He loses his temper so rarely that the sheer idea of his eyes becoming red, the air around him burning with madness makes my own blood start to boil. My heart began to beat faster simply from hearing the tension in his voice, and my blood sings back to his, responding to his ferocity with undeniable glee and need.

"Perhaps," I snapped back, "it is because he touched me, my lord, while you hide behind your desk."

Oh, those were the wrong words to say!

"This Sesshomaru does not hide," he snarled. In a flash he was across the desk, his hand on my arm and I was practically being crushed in his grasp. I gasped, looking up. His gold eyes were tinged with specks of ruby, and I could feel my body shake at being held so close to him. His fangs were thicker than normal. His eloquent voice was slurred as he spoke around them. "Who hurt you, Rin?"

I felt the tears of frustration trying to break free, but I held them back. But my blood, I could not hold that. I was hurt, and I wanted to hurt him too. I blamed him for the pain I felt when those words ran over in my mind. I continued to tell myself that I would not cry in front of Sesshomaru-sama. I did not struggle against his grasp, but instead I melted into it. I pressed my cheek against his chest. He froze at my touch, his grip on my arm softening.

"Am I… am I spoiled goods, my lord?"

I felt the shock run through his body. His hand fell from my arm completely. Gingerly, he touched my hair. I felt him stiffen as he recalled that Hatsuhana had also touched my hair, but he quickly relaxed. "Rin," he said gently. His voice was stern, but it had lost all traces of jealousy and malice. His fingers gently stroked my chin, raising my face. His eyes were the deepest gold again, no trace of red fires visible in his steady gaze. "Rin, who said such a thing?"

"A… a village woman." I didn't want to tell him anymore of that because I was worried he would go and strike down the whole village for one woman's misplaced comment. I shook my head. "I know that her opinion is petty, my lord. It should not matter to me, but… but _yours_ does. All my life, all I ever wanted was to make you proud, my lord. It never thought that the life I had chosen, that my lack of a husband or my serving a male demon, might bring you… dishonor."

"Why would I think that?"

I looked up at him in shock. He looked completely innocent! Did he… did he really now know the implications reflected on him by my marital state? My mouth was agape. "My lord…" I didn't think I could be so red-faced. "My lord… if they think that I am spoiled goods, they think that I am no longer a virgin. If they think that, then they will wonder with whom it was I had lain. They may think I was raped, my lord, in which case you, as my overlord, would have been responsible to protect me. They may think I had been willing, my lord, and then I am no better than a whore. They may even think, my lord, that it was you who bedded me, and I would not have them saying that all, my lord. You have more honor than to take some young human girl to bed, my…"

"No, I do not, Rin."

I froze. I stared up at him. He released me, leaning back and reclining on the floor, supporting himself with his single arm. I stared at him in puzzlement, and I leaned closer to him, longing for the intimacy provided by the heat and the scent of his lean body. "My lord?"

"Do you think that I, in all my life, would never feel the urge to lay with a woman?"

Apparently I had been wrong. I blushed deeper than I ever had before. I could not believe I was having a conversation about sex with Sesshomaru-sama! Nonetheless, I found myself staring at him as if he was a whole new person. "Then you… you took human girls to…"

"No. Never humans. Demon women, yes, but…" He trailed off, and then he let out a mournful sigh. He sat back down, his lap open. It was a silent invitation for me. Like I was a young girl again, I climbed into his lap, leaning against the soft fur of his shoulder, his arm supporting me.

"The human world and the demon world see sexuality as something completely different, Rin. I have tried to teach you the values of your own society, in case you ever returned to them. They would call you many things, Rin, but I would never have them call you a whore."

"I do not understand, my lord."

"Demons… value their mates. We live long, Rin, and we have few children. Most have only one. Some have two. In even rarer cases, they might have three children. A mate is the woman that a demon has chosen to bear his child. They are inseparable, because they are a family. They become kin. They raise their child together. But over the centuries, attentions wander, and we find it allowable, so long as all party members are willing."

"You mean to tell me that it is acceptable for a man to ask permission from his wife to stray and lay with another woman?"

He nodded, his eyes avoiding mine. "And vice versa, Rin. Among unmarried demons, it is even more common. I did not tell you this… because I… I did not want you to one day return amongst humans and commit adultery. You humans have shorter life spans. You value fidelity. We value honesty instead. Which is worse, Rin? A man who lays with another woman and has his wife's consent, or a man who lies to his wife and sleeps with another woman? So you see, I do not care if some short-lived human thinks I have lain with you. I care that she insulted you and you have taken injury by her words."

We lapsed into silence. I could scarcely believe what I was thinking of saying next. "Lord Sesshomaru… you… you always ask me, if I am ready to marry. I still… you have spoiled me, my lord. My life has been so perfect since I met you. I have learned much, and I have seen much. I never lack for clothing, food, or shelter. But I always wanted to marry someone I loved. That was why I never agreed to marriage, my lord. I fear the man whom I care for would not have me. Forgive me for being so childish, my lord. It has brought you shame. Humans, after all, my lord, are your subjects as well. Their opinions should matter to you, my lord. I will not allow you to have a bad name amongst the humans, my lord."

I looked up at him, licking my lips. I saw his lips part, but I pressed on anyway. "Find me someone to marry, my lord. I have no father to arrange a marriage for me. As my lord, you are the one who must carry this weight. I know that I am too old for most men to marry, my lord…."

"I will give you a fine dowry, then," he said gently. I don't think we were hearing each other. We were simply talking to each other's voice and to ignore the intimacy of our position. "Should I look for a demon or a human?"

I was surprised he was giving me a choice. I shook my head. "It matters not to me, my lord. I am comfortable with either, and I fear neither. If it be a human, please let it be a lord. I need not have sway in the household. It does not matter to me if I am first wife or a seventh. But if it is a human, I may yet still be able to do my work for you, my lord. If it be a demon, let him understand that this is what I love to do, and that I will do my duties for him as well, but let me still travel in your name, my lord. My work is everything to me."

"Working women earn themselves bad names, little Rin."

I smiled at him. "No name they could give me for helping you would ever be a bad one, my lord. So long as I am performing up to your standards, let me work for you, Lord Sesshomaru."

He made no promise. Instead, his hand shifted, and I could feel his muscles pressing into me. He held me like a little child. His eyes searched mine. "This man you claim to love… do you find him attractive?"

"I find him beautiful, my lord."

"Does he treat you well, Rin?"

"He treats me well, my lord. He dotes upon me, and it flatters me, but I wish he would speak to me more often, my lord. I long for a kind word from his lips."

"Has he ever made you ashamed?"

"Never, my lord. I have come to think he is infallible. I only wish that one day he will come to terms with his past."

Sesshomaru-sama's voice was perfectly serious. He looked as pale and graceful as he normally did. "Then I will ask Jaken if he will accept you."

I stared at him in shock. Did he… did he actually think that I was in love with _Jaken_! Jaken was a prick! I felt my eyes narrowing. How in the world could a man like Sesshomaru-sama mistake my adoration and think I had fallen in love with a slimy, loud-mouthed, rude, weak, toad-demon?

Then I saw his mouth twitched and my anger turned to annoyance. Before I even thought about it, I reached up and slapped his cheek lightly, finding myself in a fit of joyous laughter. My hand still stayed on his cheek, sliding back past his pointed ear to entwine in his long hair.

"You finally made a joke…" I laughed, tears streaking from my eyes as I curled against him.

"Everyone assumed that I couldn't because I didn't want to," he said gently. He let out a wavering sigh. Sesshomaru-sama knew all too well whom I loved. He closed his body back around mine, his cheek brushing mine as he buried his face in my neck. I drew my other arm around him and I shivered when his breath ran down my neck. "Rin," he sighed, "such confessions are dangerous…"

"I am not a little girl anymore, Seshsomaru-sama…"

"I _had_ noticed."

Smiling, I brushed my cheek against his again. "I am aware of the ramifications of my actions, my lord. You need to wed for the good of your people, and I need to wed for the good of my lord. That is the honorable way. That is my duty, the price of being at your side. I expect nothing to come from telling you how I feel, my lord. If anything, I expect to be sent away again so you can deal with your thoughts in private."

"Rin?"

"Yes, my lord?" I lifted my head to see him. He was prepared for this. His lips suddenly brushed mine. His lips were warm, and soft, and tender. His fangs brushed my lips and my lips parted as I let out a sigh. His kiss was delicate, as delightful as the feeling of a spring breeze, full of promise and life. But it was also torturous, making me long for his hands on my body and for more of his kisses, and I knew that I would never be able to have more of him. As it was, this kiss was already stolen.

His tongue snuck between my parted lips. I leaned against him, kissing him back and running my tongue along his. I felt clumsy, but what could I do? I had not kissed before. This was new to me.

His hand grasped the back of my head and he pulled me closer to him. His warm tongue retreated, his parted lips pressed tightly against mine as he encouraged me to kiss him back in the same way. He was patient with me, his grip on me softening as he felt my body tense. I felt as if I was giving a part of me away, and though willing, it made me frightened.

What was this? Why were we doing this? We were torturing ourselves by doing this!

'It's an adventure,' I told myself, before I recklessly kissed him back. I explored his mouth fervently. It was warm and moist, his fangs sharp against my skin. I pressed myself against him tighter, my hands running up and down his sides, carefully avoiding the armor he wore, even inside his own castle.

As I pulled back, my lips brushed his fangs and he accidentally bit down a little too hard, drawing blood. His mouth closed around my bottom lip, gingerly sucking on the wound and tasting me, as if he was testing me. I gasped at the sensation, and at the intimacy of it all as I was crushed against him. My gasp slowly turned into a moan. His mouth released me and I find myself staring at him. My lips were red from kissing him, and he seemed breathless.

The emotionless mask had been completely shattered. I found myself looking at his face, his _real_ face, finding it full of surprise, and boyish eagerness. He looked like a young child wanting to play. I stared at him, my heart breaking. I had forgotten that even for demons, Lord Sesshomaru was still young. He only looked to be a man in his early thirties, the same age as me, yet he had been born centuries ago.

I pushed myself away, and the mask was back on. "I will report later, my lord," I said quickly, fixing my dress and my hair as I spoke. "I should go now. Go… do something." I turned, and I paused, turning back. He hadn't moved from the floor. He was simply staring up at me, looking confused. "I… I am a human, my lord. You raised me well. But… my lord, as you said, the only thing you taught me which left me perfectly human was regarding human sexuality. I am not like you, my lord. I will not live for centuries. I have but one heart, my lord. I can give it only once." I felt tears sting my eyes, and this time I was not afraid to show them.

"Please," I begged, "Sesshomaru, do not ask me for my heart to only have me be sent away and condemn me to an early grave."

I turned and I fled. And I did not look back. No one ever saw Sesshomaru-sama hang his head in shame.

* * *

To be continued!But...

Fascinating fact for all you history buffs out there. While I said that there were no historical facts in this story, it turns out to be a fallacy. The facts about the Khans were correct, as is this: a grandson of the great Genghis Khan (the man who instigated the reforms mentioned above) was Khubilai Khan. In the middle of the thirteenth century, he demanded a tribute from Japan. Japan said that because they had divine origins they had no need to pay tribute to a mortal like Khubilai Khan. Khubilai launched two attacks against Japan. The first had to turn back because of bad weather. The second made it to Japan, and the Japanese were able to hold the force (made up of Mongolian, Korean, and Chinese men) until a hurricane struck, and the Khans retreated. They called the hurricane the 'divine wind', or _kami-kaze_. What's really neat? It was the last time a force tried to invade Japan until 1945.

Also, the name Hatsuhana has something to do with flowers. For the life of me, I can't find where I wrote it down though, as we are talking about 1.5 years ago when I planned out his character. I will try harder, though. :)


	8. Chapter 8

AN: Special thanks to Araine who saved me the time of having to find my notes on Hatsuhana's name! It means 'First Flower', and now you know why he likes flowers. It was pre-ordained. Enjoy!

* * *

**-8-**

The following morning when I awoke, I headed immediately to the bath house. I wanted to get there before the other demons awoke, so that I could relax and soak my worries away and I could have a moment without thinking of Hatsuhana, Sesshomaru-sama, or Kaede-chan.

Right from the moment I rose from my futon, the world was against me. As I walked from my bedroom to the bathhouse I nearly ran into Hatsuhana. I'm certain that I'm not the one to blame under the circumstances, as no doubt Hatsuhana could have at least _smelled_ me coming and moved out of my way. I was so embarrassed about running into him that it took me a moment to notice that he was not exactly very clad.

In fact, all he was really wearing was a towel so incredibly short that he had to keep it closed shut. I felt myself starting to stare at him. I couldn't help it. I had seen Sesshomaru-sama without his vestments on before. Sesshomaru-sama was a very well-defined and disgustingly attractive man. Hatsuhana was every bit as well-defined and attractive, from the broadness of his shoulders and the curves of his upper arms, to the way his torso slowly tapered to his hips and the dark, fur-like hair that ran from his belly button to below the white towel hiding the rest of him. His long hair was wet and pulled back into a ponytail, his thin bangs still dripping occasionally.

"Lor… Lord Hatsuhana!"

"Good morning, Lady Rin." I thought he would leave it at just a friendly, polite greeting, but much to my dismay, he leaned against the wall, looking fondly down at me. My eyes were drawn to his torso, watching the muscles glide under his skin, and I felt myself blush deeply, peeling my gaze away from his chest. "Did your talk with Sesshomaru-sama go well yesterday?"

"It went as well as could be expected, my lord," I replied, my voice wavering.

"Then Lord Sesshomaru does not have plans for you?"

I blushed, recalling that he had asked to spend more time with me. I hadn't asked Sesshomaru-sama what I was supposed to! I hadn't even reported to him Kagome's whereabouts! And, come to think about it, how was I supposed to get the blood Arashi-sama needed?

"I regret to say that our conversation became distracted and I was unable to ask him what he wanted me to do. Given that," I continued, taking in a deep breath, "I would love to spend the day with you, Lord Hatsuhana. I can talk with Sesshomaru-sama tonight about what to do with the result of my errands. After all, I would very much enjoy a day to myself to relax. What would you like to do today, my lord?"

"How about a picnic? We can meet at the front gate of the castle in two candlemarks, and we'll walk until we'll find somewhere nice to eat."

A picnic sounded like a wonderful idea to me. It would give me fresh air, time out of the castle and away from Sesshomaru, and I could talk with Hatsuhana. I wanted to get to know him better. He was a very odd demon. I smiled at him. "Then I will see you in two candlemarks, my lord."

He smiled at me. His smile was pretty enough to make me forget that Lord Sesshomaru and I had kissed. It reminded me very much of the monk's smile. It was a little arrogant and presumptuous, but it was a smile reserved for a single girl, to make that one person feel like they were his entire world. I briefly wondered how many castle maidens he had managed to bed with that superb expression, and I felt bitter about it. Was I jealous?

I mentally rolled my eyes at the idea. Of course I wasn't _jealous_! How could I be, when I had only just met him? And yet, in some strange way, yes, yes, I was jealous. Why did he have to show up now? Why couldn't he have appeared when I was some teenage girl eyeing all the pretty demons around me and wishing that someone would take even just a small fancy to me? Why did he have to show up _now_? Surely the smile was just for show. Surely he wasn't seriously thinking about courting me…

"Then I will see you then." He reached down and took my hand, bringing it to his lips and kissing my knuckles. His lips were just as warm and soft as Lord Sesshomaru's had been. He winked at me, releasing my hand and walking away. I stared after him…

Male dog demons were so odd!

* * *

We met at the front of the castle, where the thick outer wall was braced against the forest. The human village was half a day's walk from the castle. The demons had complained that their smell would be overpowering if they were any closer, and with how fast demons travel, it was like a walk in the park for them.

Hatsuhana rose when he saw me. He was dressed in simple clothes for the day, but he still looked handsome. Nothing could dull the healthy color of his skin—so unlike Sesshomaru-sama's porcelain skin!—or the shine of his dark hair. He held in his hands a picnic basket, which he moved to the hand furthest to me so he could offer me his arm.

"You look beautiful today, Lady Rin."

I immediately blushed. I had only heard that once since being revived with the Tenseiga. It had been one of those odd occasions when Sesshomaru's path had crossed with his brother. He had left Jaken and I to scout on ahead when Inuyasha and his companions had stumbled upon us.

Jaken had tried to defend our camping spot from Inuyasha, but the other dog-demon had merely bopped Jaken-sama on the head to silence him. The demon slayer and Inuyasha ended up following after Sesshomaru-sama, and the monk and Kagome stayed behind.

I had been playing with flowers, weaving them together. Kagome saw what I was doing and complimented me on my skill at weaving. When I held up the finished crown of tiny, delicate white flowers, she took them and placed them on my head, making me giggle.

"Rin, you look beautiful," she had told me. I grinned wider at the compliment. Kagome turned to Miroku, seeing how pleased the compliment had made me. "Miroku-sama, doesn't it look beautiful?"

He opened his eyes from where he had been resting, leaning against a tree. He smiled at Kagome and I, his violet eyes tender. "Yes, Rin looks very beautiful."

There must have been something in his voice which implied something I did not understand at eight years of age, because Kagome got mad at him for what he had said, accusing him of being a lech and planning on asking me some question she referred to as "_that_".

"T… thank you, Lord Hatsuhana," I uncertainly replied. I didn't know what to say to a comment like that. Feeling uncomfortable, I gestured to the path that led through the forest. "Should we perhaps start? I must admit that I don't walk quite as fast as you, after all."

"A blessing in disguise, Lady Rin," he grinned, taking my hand and starting to walk. "This just means we will have to talk and get to know each other better."

And so we did. We walked to a clearing by a stream, and we sat and had a picnic lunch of fruits and vegetables, and Hatsuhana even refrained from drinking the blood-wine in my presence. Instead we had cold tea, which was quite refreshing after having walked so far. We even dipped our feet in the stream to relax them after having walked so far.

"Do you mean to travel again, Lord Hatsuhana?" I inquired, looking over at him as we began our walk back home. I smiled. "As I said yesterday, I do so love traveling, but whenever I stop, it takes only a little time before I long for adventures once more."

He was thoughtful in his answer. "I do not know, Lady Rin. I love traveling as much as you do, but I am aging. I have often thought that I might like to find myself a wife and have children."

"But what would you do if you felt like traveling again?"

"I supposed I would take my wife and my children with me."

I shook my head. "Do not do that, Lord Hatsuhana. Trust me. I was a child by the time you were already an adult. Children need stability in their life. I do not regret the life I had with Sesshomaru-sama, but sometimes thinking about it does make me sad. I had no friends growing up. I had A'un, and Jaken-sama, and Sesshomaru-sama, but no children my own to play with as I aged. Children need other children, sir. If you constantly uproot them from their home and their friends, always making them new and strange, they might someday dislike you for it."

He looked actually considerate, and then he suggested, "Then perhaps I would find a wife who could not bear me any children, and wed her. Surely she would not object to traveling with me."

I was so surprised at this suggestion that I stopped entirely what I was doing and simply stared at him. "Oh no, Lord Hatsuhana! You must never, ever do something like that!" I realized what it was I was saying and my cheeks suddenly seemed to burn with an intense blush. I dared not reprimand a demon, nor tell one what to do. I quieted my voice, and I explained. "You may think that it is a good idea now, sir. After all, it would be a marriage of convenience. You find a woman wanting companionship, and someone who doesn't mind having adventures with you. You have no need to force a sexual relationship, for what use is consummating a marriage of state, where all both of you want is companionship?

"But trust me, sir, one day you will fall in love with her if you stay by her side long enough and if you leave yourself open to the idea of loving her. One day, you will wake up in bed, and look over at her, and you will want to have a child with her. You will want to hold and love the child that you and she create together. And in the midst of that wonderful dream, you will suddenly remember: she can't bear children. And you, my lord, despite how sweetly you love her, will hate her for her inabilities, and yourself for falling in love with the wrong woman entirely."

Hatsuhana was staring at me, a little surprised. My cheeks kept burning as he continued to stare at me from over our picnic basket. Finally, he smiled at me. He wasn't angry that I had spoken out of place, or that I had chastised his ideas. In fact, he actually seemed pleased with me for it. He reached over and he touched my cheek gently. The blush most assuredly did _not_ go away.

"How did you get to be so intelligent, Lady Rin? I knew Sesshomaru when he was a kid. You definitely didn't get it from him," he laughed.

This caught my attention. "You knew Sesshomaru-sama when you were little?"

"Indeed I did," Hatsuhana said warmly. His hand dropped from my face so that he could lean upon the warm grass. "I knew him quite well when we were little. We are distantly related, he and I. Sesshoumaru is a cousin of mine, on his father's side. Would you like for me to tell you what he was like as a child?"

I smiled at Hatsuhana. I felt like he had given me a gift he could not comprehend. "Please!"

He nodded. "I first met Sesshoumaru when I was… oh, maybe the equivalent to six years in human terms. He was about two years older than me, I suppose, and a very sour child. He never smiled, even then. He frowned at everyone, but they all accepted him. It wasn't that he was the son of the king, you understand. It was because he was such an earnest worker. Everything he did he tried his best in, even if he failed at it. Because he didn't speak much, people always had the impression that he was listening to them, even if he wasn't. Oh, and he and his father fought. Sesshoumaru was always telling my uncle 'when I rule, I am going to do this' or 'when the throne is mine I will never do that'. He had an opinion about everything, that boy."

"Didn't his father get angry at him for saying those things?"

Hatsuhana looked up, one gold-hazel eye peering at me in amusement from behind his brown bangs. "Of course he did. Would you like your son yelling you that he knew how to rule when you were dead even if you were in the prime of life? Sometimes Sesshoumary made his father _furious_, but they still loved each other. They had a mutual respect for one another than ran deeper for their love of each other, which was tedious many a times. Sesshy sometimes felt that his father hadn't really wanted him because he was always looking after the affairs of the state or spending a night with his wife. But my uncle had respect for him because of Sesshoumaru's ambitions. Sesshy knew what he wanted and wouldn't stop at getting it.

"That's why things went so wrong after Inuyasha was born."

"What do you mean?" I leaned forward, interested even more now.

"All of a sudden my uncle was doting. He was spending time with a human wife who was pregnant and talking about the child non-stop. Sesshy was revolted not just because the child was half human, but because of the changes in his father. Then his father actually _dies_ trying to save his child. Sesshoumaru was furious and the last threads of his respect with his father were severed. He couldn't imagine dying for the sake of a human wife and a crossbred child. He was jealous of Inuyasha, too. Jealous because he got the Tetsusaiga, he got his father's robes, his father affection and devotion and tenderness…"

I interrupted as he was trailing away. "Sesshoumaru-sama hasn't changed much. Especially his ambition. Even these days, more than five hundred years after Inuyasha was born, he's still going on about getting back the sword or killing his brother…"

"It's very hard to overcome a slight like that," Hatsuhana gently pointed out. "I didn't want to be around to see the family tear itself apart, so I went traveling. Many labeled me a coward for it, but I didn't see what else I could do. I could help my cousin kill another cousin, or I could disobey the king. Sesshoumaru let me go. This was his battle, not mine."

His soft face became hard and cold for a moment as he thought of those turbulent days. Then he turned to me with a smile that touched his eyes, wrinkling the corners in a way that made the gold seem brighter and burnished.

"Enough of such depressing talk. If you're finished, Lady Rin, I should start escorting you back to the house. The last thing I want is to make the courtiers talk by giving them reason to think I was out here seducing or corrupting you." He stood up in one fluid movement and offered me his hand. It was warm. When I took it, he helped me up with such grace and strength that for a moment I felt weightless.

With the basket of food on one of his arms and myself on the other, Hatsuhana escorted me back to camp.

* * *

Hatsuhana sat with Sesshoumaru that evening. My lord had been more reserved than normal. Hatsuhana was aware of this, watching my lord closely and choosing his words delicately. Normally he preferred to display his wit and character. That evening he was matching Sesshoumaru for reservation.

He asked a few questions; Sesshoumaru-sama gave him curt answers. Hatsuhana slowly began to smile. If it wasn't the drought or the threat of invasion that was bothering him, there was only one topic left. Hastuhana lifted his cup, leaning back a little and closing his eyes. "I spent the day with Lady Rin, cousin. The more I get to know her, the more I find myself admiring her. It amazes me that someone like you was able to keep her."

Sesshoumaru stared at his cousin inquisitively. He didn't need to voice his question, or for Hatsuhana to see his face to know what Sesshoumaru was wondering. "You're so cold. How did she ever grow up around you, I wonder? It astonishes me. She's nothing like you. I think that may be part of the reason why I like her."

"I'm glad, cousin, that she didn't meet you until she was grown up. Rin has developed into a charming, responsible young lady. Meeting you when she was still impressionable might have made her resentful and rebellious."

Hatsuhana chuckled, the rich sound filling the room. "Resentful? Rebellious? Me?"

"I believe that was why you left in the first place. Off covorting with..." He paused when someone knocked on the door. One of the palace servants came in and placed warm blood-wine on the low table in the office. My lord poured it before he continued. "With humans. You were always a little odd when we were young, but now you just seem eccentric and emotional. Smiling, laughing... it is highly inappropriate."

"You can't seriously still believe that!"

He raised his eyes from pouring a second glass to stare at his cousin. His hand set the decanter back down so he did not spill a single drop. "Dogs wag their tails at their owners. They whine when they are hungry. Cats hiss their displeasure. Likewise, humans whine when they are hungry, they jump up and down and clap when they are excited. Displaying one's emotions is a trait of animals and humans, not of demons."

Tapping his fingers against his chin, he waved away the blood-wine which my lord offered him. The derision in Sesshoumaru-sama's eyes was obvious to Hatsuhana. My lord saw the declination of the blood-wine as another sign that his cousin had become far too sensitized to the humans.

Hatsuhana thought for a moment. He looked at my lord through long, dark lashes. "You love Rin, don't you?"

My lord did not even bat an eyelash at the sudden question, though he was slightly taken aback. "I have feelings for her and I care for her well beings, yes."

"So you do love her. But Rin's a human. You don't love her like you would love a pet dog or a pet cat. You love her like you would love a demon companion. Rin's quite good at hiding her true feelings and keeping on a pleasant mask, but surely it slips now and then. It's in her human nature to at least smile or laugh once in a while. When she does so, doesn't it make you feel good inside? Doesn't it make you feel happy? Proud? Doesn't it stir something in you that felt dead otherwise?"

"No." He eyes his cousin, contemplating Hatsuhana's words. Although Sesshoumaru-sama's answer had been quick and emphatic, he was wondering at the way Hatsuhana had spoken it. "You sound as if you've had experience with this kind of thing first-hand, cousin."

Hatsuhana smiled in fond rememberance. "Yes. That's why I love humans. In the time that I've been gone, I've loved many human women. It never ceases to warm my heart when I see them understand a problem that long eluded them, or seeing their first sunrise, or experiencing love for the first time. Demons were made to protect humans. You do so by leading them, Sesshoumaru. I believe, however, that we do a better job protecting them by being close to them, and by loving them."

Both Hatsuhana and my lord were silent a long time after that. The first watched the latter finish his cup of blood wine, scarce understanding how he could drink it when he had humans under his protection. He eventually asked, "What do you intend to do with Rin, cousin?"

"I don't know," Sesshoumaru-sama admitted.

His cousin smiled. "Normally human girls get married and have children."

Sesshoumaru-sama glowered. "I suspect that you have helped many humans with that goal, haven't you, Hatsuhana? How many bastard children do you have?"

"That's none of your business, but the answer is none. I have slept with human women, yes, but never fathered a child with one. If I knew I was going to stay around to raise one, I would. I won't lie about that. You still haven't told me what you are going to do with Rin, Sesshoumaru."

There was a slight edge to my lord's voice. "That's because I already told you that I don't know what I plan to do with her. Human girls should be married, but Rin is already getting on in years. I doubt that I could find someone that wants to marry her. She has also requested that whomever she marries allows her to continue working for me. Rin's skills with the humans are indespensible to me."

"Have you ever told her that?" Sesshoumaru-sama glared at him reprovingly. The corner of Hatsuhana's lips curled up almost imperceptably. "I guess not then. You should find her a husband who can help her with your work, then; someone's whose skills and knowledges compliment her own."

"Agreed. Thank you for your suggestion. It would be more helpful to me if you were able to just find someone to wed her rather than complicating my wild goose chase."

"I do have a suggestion, Sesshoumaru-sama." My lord was surprised by the honorific. It made him suddenly wary of Hatsuhana's suggestion. Nor did he like the twinkle in his cousin's eye. It was far too jovial to be honest. "I should be the one to court Rin."

"You?" His voice was full of disdain, as if Hatsuhana had suggested something dirty.

"You want someone who will let her work. I will be more than happy to do so, and my own experiences interacting with foreign humans may prove helpful to Rin's work. She needs to be able to travel to do her work properly, and I grow tired if my feet aren't moving. You know that I am adequate protection for her--or did you forget that time I trounced you when we were younger? I enjoy Rin's company, she seems to enjoy my stories. Marrying her into your family means that she can continue to be close to you."

Sesshoumaru-sama's face said nothing. His body was as tight and rigid as it always was. His gold eyes, in comparison, were tempestuous. Hatsuhana noticed it and again that coy smile and almost flirtatious gaze crossed his face. "What else would you do? Marry her yourself, Sesshoumaru? Confine her in a gilded cage? She loves you. She worships the ground you walk on, cousin. You should marry her yourself."

"Marry a human?" He snorted.

"At least marrying her into your family gives her power. The humans are the people you protect as well. What better way to show them that you respect them, even if it may be a lie, than by taking one as a wife, or by giving one to your cousin to wed? It would solidfy your alliance with the humans."

Sesshoumaru-sama turned away and thought hard. It was a good political move, he had to agree. But he also disliked it. It made something in the pit of his stomach gnaw at him. "What about children?" His voice dripped with venom. "I want no child to come out of the marriage. Should I not wed and reproduce, your child would be the closest to the throne. I will have no half-human sitting on my father's throne."

"Your father saw the benefit to being with a human woman. Had Inuyasha the desire or the temperament to rule, do you really think he would have been a weak warlord? He had the strength of arms to keep order, the looks to play political games, the compassion for the humans, and the arrogance and pride to gain respect from the demons."

Sesshoumaru-sama was glaring at him in full-out anger now. Hatsuhana knew he had overstepped his bounds, kinsmen or not. He backed off gracefully. "I will give Rin no child. She is past the age of safe childbirth anyway. Perhaps we might adopt, but no child will result from the union, I can guarantee you that if that is what it takes to gain your approval."

My lord was quiet as he contemplated their conversation. His deep voice was gruff and commanding. "You have my permission and my blessing to court Rin. I will not order her to marry you. She will make her own decision in the matter. But know this: I have watched Rin grow up since before she came to my thigh. Rin does still show emotion, and should I see her cry because you have squandered her honor or broken her, in anyway, I will have your head hanging from my front gate, irregardless of your relationship to me. Are we agreed?"

Hatsuhana nodded, still smiling, almost triumphantly. "Perfectly."

* * *

To be Continued. 


	9. Chapter 9

**AN:** So I am back at University now. I have a week off until school starts, but I have things to do around the house--like sorting out old bills and getting my papers in order for loan applications. I know what I want to write for the next chapter, but I don't really have the time right now--not if the chapters are going to remain a decent size. I'm updating now to keep everyone hooked while I try to find time to plow through chapter 10 and get it all down. Hope to see you all soon!

**-9-**

"Come in."

I walked into Sesshoumaru-sama's office to find him working on some paperwork. He looked up to see who was disturbing him. When he saw it was me he pulled back his arm to fold it in his lap serenely. I flushed when his gaze fell upon me.

"Do you have a second, my lord? I still have not had an opportunity to report my findings."

His facial features eased. I recognized his smile, the clue that he was smiling being the slight creases that appeared at the corner of his eyes. "I always have a moment for you, Rin."

My cheeks burned when his eyes lingered on me. I remembered the way that he had kissed me and held me, holding me against him as if he were afraid that I would melt away. I delighted at how I could read my lord, finally seeing the desire that I had dreamt of for so long, and yet dazzled by the way he let nothing show. Merely by the way his eyes stayed on me I could tell that he was recalling the way that he had kissed me as well. I had to resist the urge to shuffle my feet nervously.

Closing the door I sat down across from him. "The demon-slayer and the monk who accompanied your brother and who helped to kill Naraku are dead, my lord. The village is now in the care of their daughter, a priestess named Arashi."

He did not seem to care about this news. I knew that he would not remember the names. That was my job. However, he did appear to be slightly distraught at the news. His long fingers stroked his chin thoughtfully. Then he sighed. "So they are already dying off. I can still recall the day you told me that they had a daughter." He glanced at me, and I could read his thoughts. Shippou, Jaken, Sesshoumaru-sama and myself were the only four left from that period, and I would be the next to leave them. After all, I was human. "Kagome. Is she also dead, then?"

"As good as, my lord."

"Rin?"

I held my hands on my lap tightly as I spoke. I did not want to let anything slip about Kaede, or about the time-well. Sesshoumaru-sama, not unlike Naraku before him, craved power. It is said that knowledge is power, and the knowledge of future events would be strongest of all. I worried that if Sesshoumaru-sama learned of the magic of the well, closed as it was, he would seek to find some way to use it. The days when I beleived in the sanctity and infallbility of Sesshoumaru-sama's decisions are long gone. I worry about him; about who will guide him when I am gone. Jaken is not a very moral or honourable advisor. I did not want to see Sesshoumaru-sama turn into another Naraku.

"Sesshoumaru-sama, I am sure that you had noticed, as I did, that Kagome is not like other women. She was different—from the way that she spoke to her style of dress. It had always been clear to me that she was foreign. Kagome, and her husband, have gone back to Kagome-sama's native place. They have no way of returning here, and so they are as good as dead to us. We shall never hear nor see them again." I bowed my head politely. "I am sorry for giving you false hopes that Kagome-sama may have been able to help us!"

"As good as dead. Apt, Rin, apt. And my brother... good riddance to them both, then. We have dealt with explorers and invaders before and we have been victorious."

"But..."

Silence in the room. Then his voice, barely above a sensible whisper. It was gentle and encouraging and made my heart feel delighted. I could smell his breath. It was sweet and intoxicating. He had moved close to me and I had not heard him. "But what, Rin?"

"But..." I tightened my grip on my hands. He saw and covered my hands, gently loosening the grip so that I did not hurt myself. If I had been able to fool him into thinking that I was not nervous, I had failed now. From my lowered vision I could see his hand over mine. His hand was so large and powerful looking. It could easily hold both of my wrists captive.

I was torn between two different senses of duty. One, to my lord; to the man who had raised me, brought me back to life, protected me and who loved me. The other to Kaede. I had to choose the first. I had been reared, trained to honour the first.

"But she may have passed on her ability to speak this English to others before she left. If I had more time, I could track them down and learn it for myself. Then I could be the liaison between these foreigners and your lands, my lord. I would have tracked them down some more, my lord, but I thought that perhaps I had best return home so that I would not be missed and ask your permission first."

He closed his eyes. For a moment I thought he had looked almost... sad, and lonely. When he opened them, he was once again my own stoic, beautiful Sesshoumaru-sama. "Why does everyone feel that they must ask my permission before they do anything? I know that I rule here, but there is such a thing as autonomy. We need to act quickly, Rin. I will think on what I will do. Meanwhile, I understand that you are going to be showing my cousin some of the nearby villages."

I nodded. Then I jumped, thinking I had erred in offering to show Hatsuhana around. "Should I have not offered to give him a tour?"

"No. No, Rin. He is my cousin. He deserves to see the changes that I have made to my father's lands. You know, don't you Rin, that he likes you?"

"I had suspected as such," I shrugged casually.

"Yes, well. I have given him my permission to court you."

I tried my best to hide my shock. I think I managed to hide my hurt. He had given permission to Hatsuhana to court me? Hatsuhana!? Yes, he was beautiful, with those hazel eyes and the clear skin and his smile, but he wasn't Sesshoumaru-sama. And if he had actually intended to give me away then why had he ever kissed me like that? I will not lie. I like Hatsuhana, yes, but hadn't Sesshoumaru-sama's kiss proven that he also cared for me? That he might even be attracted to me? Then why had he given permission for Hatsuhana to court me!

I had taken too long to answer. Sesshoumaru-sama was beginning to think that something was wrong. "Do you not like my cousin, Rin?"

"No... no, I do like him, Sesshoumaru-sama, but... But I was not expecting to find out that he is courting me. I find him amiable and I quite enjoy his stories. Is that enough to build a relationship on, though? Shouldn't we have something deeper? Some kind of a history together?"

"Marriages have been based on less," he noted.

I could see it for a moment: seeing the world, hearing all of the wonderful stories. Hatsuhana would make me happy, and I could continue loving Sesshoumaru-sama. Regardless, just because Sesshoumaru-sama's cousin wanted to court me, it did not mean that we were going to be wedded. I did not have to think of such things yet. I was certain that if I said I did not want to marry Hatsuhana, my lord would support my decision, but I had his reputation to think about as well. Hatsuhana would make me happy, though I knew I wuld never love him.

"I understand." I chided myself for ever having thought that Sesshoumaru-sama may have loved me, and been able to express it. It had been an error, that kiss—that whole conversation! We could love each other from afar, as we always had, but that was all. "Do you still want me to show him the villages, or should I work on learning English, my lord?"

A deep, rolling sound came from his throat as he stretched his back and thought. When his eyes opened, they were distant. "This Sesshoumaru feels that it is best for you to escort our cousin. We will deal with the newcomers ourselves. It is best for you to show our cousin the grounds. Hatsuhana has become too preachy for me on the subject of our natures. I wish to show him that I try to return to the old ways without making the same mistakes as my father did."

It felt as though I had been slapped. My cheeks actually stung with shame as I mekly lowered my head. I knew what he was saying, partly. He wanted me to show Hatsuhana around because it would give him time to get to know me better, and I him. It would also keep me far away from Lord Sesshoumaru. I was the mistake he did not want to repeat, the emblem of a shame that had persisted in his heart and mind for decades.

My lord Sesshoumaru would never marry for love. I do not know if he truly loved me or not, but it did not matter. He would marry for power and politics. Love would only force his attention away from the people he sought to protect, and the problems with which he had to contend.

"Is that everything in your report, Rin?" he asked, his eyes trying to search my face. I kept it well-lowered, playing the meek little human denied the company of her friend, lord, father-figure, and love. I played it well, and his question was not asked out of suspicion, but concern.

"It is, my lord."

"How long do you expect to be gone, Rin?"

"If I take A'Un, two weeks. If we travel by foot, I expect we would be gone a month, maybe more."

Again there was that low, puzzling sound he made as he thought. "If you are gone a month," he said, surprisingly, "your flowers will have already wilted. Take A'Un, then. Come back and be able to enjoy your flowers." My heart swelled with love for him. I doubted very much that any other demon other than Seshsoumaru-sama and Hatsuhana would have noticed or cared for my love of my lillies. I managed to hold back my smile as he passed me a sealed letter.

"Take this to the seamstress. While you are gone, she will begin to weave for you the finest wedding garments. I promised you a large dowry, Rin, and I was not lying. You shall be wedded as deserves a woman of my court, and no less. Whenever you choose to be married, it will be there for you, waiting. I have already instructed the seamstress which fabric, colors, and design I think proper, though you are free to agree and make alterations. I would assume that you would know more about women's fashion than I. You are excused, Rin."

I stood up to go. To my surprise, he stood up to escort me out. As I left, his fingertips brushed the back of my dress. My whole body felt suddenly electrified, the slightest touches of my clothing or loose strands of hair suddenly standing out. I turned to see him still standing in the doorway. There was no longer a smile on his face, only the distant expression that had become so familiar to me since we had kissed. It seemed a little... lonely and melancholy.

"Tonight, after dinner, come to my rooms. I have discovered a real-life math problem that needs solving. Perhaps you will be able to do it."

"Yes, my lord." I curtseyed for him.

"And, Rin? I know Hatsuhana is my cousin," he whispered to me, "and I believe his intentions honourable, but if he insults you or hurts you, let me know, and I will have the offending appendage removed."

* * *

I had never been to the seamstress' before. Normally when I was in need of clothes, Hikari would take my measurements and they would simply arrive, leaving me free to do my errands for my lord. Because I did not know what to expect I invited Hikari to come with me. I was lucky; she had some time free before she had to begin overseeing dinner preparations and was able to come with me. I believe she was also lying. Hikari has known me since before I began my woman's cycle, and I think she may have developed a soft spot for me. Having no child of her own and being at a marriageable age, I think there were times when she raised her child vicariously through me.

I was thankful she had agreed to come along. When we arrived at the seamstress' I found her to be a spider-demon. They do amazing work, and I could understand why she would be the lead seamstress for Sesshoumaru-sama's court, but after Naraku, they frighten me a little. Her long, spindly fingers took the letter from me and opened it and read it. Her red eyes lifted to me.

"You selected this material?"

"No, M'am. My Lord Sesshoumaru did."

She hummed over the letter before smiling, the same kind of sly, vicious smile that I had seen on Sesshoumaru-sama's face before he would lash out. I began reaching for my weapon, thinking of an attack, but Hikari placed a hand on my arm to stop me, holding me tightly. A fraction tighter and she would be bruising me. The old spider-woman laughed, revealing teeth that looked too much like madibles for my taste.

"He has a woman's taste in clothes that man! There are times when we suspect that he is more woman than man, that one. He's too much like his mother!" She lifted her head and stopped cackling when she realized that both Hikari and I were glaring at her. My lips were drawn back into a snarl and I could feel warmth from Hikari as she snarled in anger, the light ends of her kimono lifting up from the ground. "I mean no disrespect to our lord," the spider-demon said quickly. "But you must admit, it is unfair for him to be so pretty all the time."

Hikari relaxed, apologizing to her old friend and patting the spider demon's hand apologetically. She laughed as well, surprising me. "It _is_ unfair, isn't it? I feel as though I constantly have to clean off my clothes or fix my hair when I work, and yet he can walk trough the midst of battle without a spot of dirt or a scratch. There are times when I am jealous of him."

This was something I had not seen before; female demons interacting. Normally when I did see it, it was Ayame and her fellow wolves, or in the court, a serving-woman and a noble. It was rare to see two women of the same social rank interacting. In the court, when it occurred and I was privy to it, there was no laughter or joking. The court was not the place for that. But outside, in the real world, it did not seem to me to be any different from two human women talking in a shop or by a stall.

"It brings me no end of pleasure to know that it is my clothing he wears," the seamstress said. "I may not have been able to make something as strong as his father's _hakama_, but my weaving will hold its own. It is the closest I will ever come to laying my hands on my lord, much as I would like to. No demon for whome I have made clothing is half as pretty as our lord."

"Have you not seen his cousin then, yet?" The seamstress shook her head. "Lord Hatsuhana is also quite becoming. That is the person that my lady Rin, here, is to wear the wedding dress for."

The seamstress looked at her with fresh eyes, inspecting her. She walked out from around the counter to circle me. I tried to keep still and to keep my chin proudly raised, but it was difficult to do while she walked around me. I heard her hum over me. I began to hope that my wedding outfit was not to be as... insubstantial as hers. It seemed as though the spider demons was wrapped in our own web, thin and gauzy, with only chitonous shell here and there to offer her modesty.

"I have made for you before, Lady Rin. I recall the color and the measurements precisely." I stood up a little straiter, rather proud. I had not known that they were made by a spider-demon, and the same woman who made my lord's clothing. Dislike spider demons as I may, the female spider demons were some of the finest weavers in the world. "He was right. The orange does look quite fetching on you... for a human."

She said the last heavily, and Hikari sent her an angry look. I refused to shrink back down that her. Human or no, I was higher ranking than her. She should not have dared to belittle me. Still she kept circling. "I see that you carry weapons. Most wedding dresses do not allow for daggers or swords. Shall I sew in room for one?"

"Please," I said gratefully. "Knowing that I have one within reach makes me feel safer. I lack the natural weapons most people around me have."

"Yes, I can do this easily. The design is simple, but it would take time. I can have it finished in a little over three weeks. Seeing you now, though, there are some things I would change. You are aware that he instructed me to make for you a human wedding outfit? Would you not prefer for a demon one? They are much simpler and they are far more alluring to men."

"What do demons wear to weddings?"

"Well, spider demons wear nothing," she cackled. "But a dog demon, like Hatsuhana, would normally wear furs as a typical wedding gown. I would have to research the style."

Love Ayame as I might, I could not imagine arriving at my wedding wearing something like she does, with the short skirt reveaing my legs. I blushed. "The human _kimono_ is a fine choice."

"I agree, but I wanted to make sure that you had the choice. It is your wedding, my Lady Rin."

_Not yet,_ I thought to myself. _I haven't agreed to anything yet._

* * *

My last evening with Sesshoumaru-sama before I began my tour with Hatsuhana was pleasant. We stayed up late talking and puzzling over the math problem he had presented. It was, surprisingly, normal.

The following morning I set off with Hatsuahana. He had learned his lessons well; he had learned how to act around me. He was courteous, intelligent, witty, and simply wonderful. He told me stories from all of the different places he had seen, from the Huns, to China, to copper-skinned foreigners who rode around on huge, tusked animals called elephants! He delighted me with stories until I found myself sitting next to him, or walking closer to him than I normally would, sometimes laughing or crying from pleasure. He lured me in with his voice, baited me with is stories, and it worked.

He did not try to touch me. Though I may have wandered closer to him, he never tried to touch me. When I realized that a couple days into our journey, I felt something inside of me… change. For the first time, I could relax around a demon who was not Sesshoumaru-sama, and I could cry or laugh in pleasure. In one way it was almost liberating. I felt as though a huge weight had been taken and lifted from my shoulders. In another I was frightened of myself. I had spent so many years controlling my emotions that when I was suddenly allowed to express them, I felt alienated from myself.

I do believe that had Hatsuhana not been so eager to show his own smile, I might never have become comfortable with smiling back at him. That was something I found myself doing often.

I showed Hatsuhana the grounds. He was pleased with the work Lord Sesshoumaru and I had been doing. He walked and talked politics with demons, just as easily as he did with humans, without the slightest hint of prejudice. I think at first the humans were slightly taken aback, but once they saw that Hatsuhana was not like other demons they were able to relax and answer without fear. When he talked politics, he was not like Lord Sesshoumaru. He did not let me walk four paces behind, only to have my insights and questions heard after the men had finished talking. He asked me my opinions there, in front of other (male!) demons, as if I were a true partner. At first, like so many things with him, I was cautious, but once I saw that he earnestly wanted to hear them, I quickly became unafraid to speak frankly—so long as my opinion at been asked for.

I will not lie, though I will not confess to be entirely innocent, either. That journey did cause me to love Hatsuhana. It was a tender fondness, rather than the constant pain I felt for my Lord Sesshoumaru. It was the same kind of love I felt for Shippo or Arashi; a kind of pride and respect that made my heart swell when I thought of them. When I thought of Hatsuhana, I did not feel my face flush the way I did when I thought of Sesshoumaru-sama, and I still had trouble imagining even kissing Hatsuhana.

I can tell you precisely when I knew that I loved Hatsuhana. We were between villages, and Hatsuhana asked where we were going to stop. More than once he had caught me yawning as I rode A'Un. We had just come from visiting Ayame and Kouga, and their offspring had amused themselves for hours crawling all over Aunt Rin. The expression on Hatsuhana's face as he had watched me with the half-human, half-wolf pups had been the expression of a man who earnestly yearned for pups like that of his own.

While I rode A'Un, Hatsuhana was like Sesshoumaru-sama. He could take care of himself, floating around on a strange, cloud-like structure. I have never been able to understand precisely how it works, and though I asked Lord Sesshoumaru to explain it to me, he was reluctant. It seems that it is a closely guarded secret.

"We will stop soon," I promised. "There is a human settlement not far from the wolves' territory where I like to stop. One of the men there has been my friend since I was a little girl. I'd like to see him again."

Hatsuhana snorted in surprise. "You mean my cousin actually let you have friends?"

I glanced at him sharply. "Lord Sesshoumaru actually let Kohaku travel with us. Though he may be a farmer now, Kohaku-kun was a fine warrior, and often tried to protect me when my lord wasn't around. He played with me, and protected me. Lord Sesshoumaru was actually rather fond of Kohaku himself."

He reached over and placed a hand on A'Un's shoulder, not too far from my hand. His hazel eyes were gentle. "I did not mean to offend you, Rin. I am merely surprised at my cousin's actions. I know that he sheltered you because you saved him. At some point, it is obvious, you became something much more than a duty to him. You became a true person. It just seems strange that he would allow you to have human friends… because he's Sesshoumaru. You didn't know him when he was younger. He may try to hide it, but there was a change in him, one for the better, and I think that you are part of the reason."

"Me?"

"Yes. When I left, he was cold and grumpy, and he saw humans as nothing more than playthings. Not like pets or toys, Rin. He didn't see them as intelligent enough to be like pets or toys. He saw them as more like insects. His father tried hard to fix the Old Ways, particularly after he had that love-affair with the human woman and fathered Inuyasha. When I come back, all of a sudden I find that Sesshoumaru is working with humans and taking an interest in their welfare. He may not be the most devout philanthropist, but he is at least trying. He never would have tried before. He is much more like his father than he wants to admit. I think that's why his father left him Tenseiga."

I leaned closer. "What do you mean?"

Hatsuhana blinked. His long lashes were still visible even in the thinning light of the evening. "Sesshoumaru's father, my uncle, held both Tenseiga and Tetsusaiga. I assume you know that." I nodded. "Sesshoumaru is strong. He can hold his own in battle. He does not need any more power. Inuyasha needed to be able to defend himself, and so I think my uncle left him Tetsusaiga to protect himself. Sesshoumaru received Tenseiga because I think my uncle knew he was the leader, and to be able to complete what he had started, Sesshoumaru would need compassion. He has learned that, I think from you."

I flushed prettily and shook my head. "I could not have taught him compassion."

It was then that Hatsuhana first touched me on our journey. I was meekly avoiding his gaze and he reached over to touch my chin, lifting my face to see him. His eyes were locked with mine. I could see the gold flakes in eyes; eyes so like Sesshoumaru or Inuyasha's. "You helped Sesshoumaru when he was vulnerable, without any thought of what it would mean for you. You expected nothing. You helped him simply because he was hurt. That, Rin, is compassion. You were the first person who helped him without any selfish thoughts. The first! The first in as long a life as he's had, you were the first to show him the first sign of human decency."

I knew a little of human decency. I had not seen it often when I was younger, I think. I remember the hovel I lived in. Had more people shown me compassion, I would not have been living in it. How could I have shown compassion to Sesshoumaru-sama when it was not something I could have understood myself? I thought that Hatsuhana was wrong, and I shrugged his comments away. I could not believe that in Sesshoumaru's long life, I had been the first to show him compassion. Hatsuhana was wrong.

We arrived at Kohaku and Sakura's. The welcomed us gladly, and I told them that I had seen their daughter and she was doing well, becoming a welcomed teacher at Mushin's village. Kohaku was looking older than I remembered.

"It's becoming lonely here," he confided in me later that evening. "Lately we have discussed moving to live with Kissaki. We miss her, Rin. Let her know when you see her again."

"I promise, Kohaku-kun."

The following morning, I awoke to find Sakura doing the laundry and Kohaku and Hatsuhana gone. Upon talking with Sakura I found that they had both gone into the fields and work. I could hardly believe that Lord Hatsuhana was actually helping Kohaku in the fields and said as much. Sakura had laughed and admitted much the same, telling me that Hatsuhana had felt it only fair to work the morning to pay them back for their hospitality. He had apparently left with Kohaku debating new forms of irrigation. Sakura's eyes had danced as she had said that she had never met a demon like him, including Ayame and Kouga, as nice as they were.

"They won't be back for some time, then?" Sakura shook her head no. "Sakura-san, I need to talk to you. It's about Kissaki, Arashi and Kaede."

We went back inside the house and I told her everything about the well. She had known little about it, but I needed her help, and since Kissaki and Kaede were so close, I knew that she would not betray the trust of her daughter. By the end she looked pale and distraught.

"There's no way to send Kaede home? Not that I want her to go, Rin! But… but I know what it's like to be separated from your daughter. As worried as I am, at least I know where my daughter is, and I know that if any harm befell her, I would know. The same could not be said for Kaede. And Miroku! I wish I had known… How long ago did he die?"

"It had only been two or three days when I last saw them, but that was nearly three days ago."

The lines around her face softened slightly. "Then I am glad, if wrongly so. With Kaede there, Arashi-san will have more people to help her with her grief, and this problem will keep her distracted for a time. You said that you needed my help?"

"Yes. There is no way for Arashi to send Kaede through the well, or through time, but we can at least get her home. I need your help. They need money to get the supplies they need to perform the ritual to send Kaede home. I can provide the money, but I have no way of buying them or sending them to Arashi without attracting suspicion from Sesshoumaru-sama. I was hoping that you would be able to purchase the things they need and have it sent over to them. There is, after all, nothing strange with a mother sending equipment to her daughter, or gifts to a niece."

Sakura smiled at me, truly amused. "You are a sly one, aren't you? Do you have the list of what they want?" I took it from my _yukata_ and gave it to her. She read it carefully before she folded it carefully and hid it in her own _obi_, along with a bag of gold I slipped her. Perhaps she would have resisted, but she knew that she could not afford some of the things on the list. "I can gather these for you without much difficulty. Give me two weeks."

"I was planning on stopping by. If you would like me to bring a letter to them, I will."

"I will write one, then."

There was no sign that Sakura and I had ever had that conversation by the time that Kohaku and Hatushana returned for lunch. Hatsuhana's face was covered lightly in dirt, smudged from working in the hot sun, and even he was sweating, the edges of his hair clinging to the back of his neck and his forehead. He was out of breath and though he was still almost painfully beautiful, he looked almost human. That moment, when he looked human, was when I knew that in my own way, despite not still being so in love with Sesshoumaru that when I thought of being separated from him indefinitely I felt broken inside, I loved Hatsuhana.

* * *

To be continued. 


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

"Hello?"

The man's voice ran out in the dark recesses of the shrine. He stepped further into the shrine cautiously, well aware that though he wore the robes of a monk he was treading on cautious ground. Tetsuya brushed his dark hair, smoothing the thick strands back into place with nervous efficiency. "Hello? Priestess? Are you here?"

Arashi came out from around the corner, her hair still damp. Her usually stoic face had the slightest hint of a smile when she saw it was the monk. "What are you doing here, Houshi-sama?" Arashi felt that it was odd to be using the endearment her mother had used, but Arashi had inherited her mother's polite nature. It was not, for her, an endearment. Despite that both of them were are of that fact, his dark green eyes sharpened with pleasure.

"I wanted to come and thank you for helping our midwife with the birth. It was greatly appreciated by both of us."

She eyed him wearily, with heavily lashed eyes that belied the way she studied him intently. He had left his sandals at the door, and the tips of his robes brushed the hardwood floors, but he still held his wooden staff. He was not unnarmed—like many others of his kind, he had learned that it was unwise to travel the road without some means of protection. For a moment the thought stung, and she was reminded of her father. Her voice became clipped.

"You didn't have to come yourself. You could have just sent a letter to thank me."

"I know." He nodded gently, his black hair falling to rest against his forehead. "I also came to express my condolences. I just heard about your father. I'm sorry for your loss, Arashi-sama."

Tetsuya meant every word. Arashi knew it. He was an honest, sensitive person—completely unlike the way she thought of herself. She felt his words slide through her thick defenses as if they did not exist. For a moment it wrangled her, but when he reached out to touch her shoulder she was thankful for it. He looked down at her with such expression! His eyes were soft and inviting, his strong jaw set loosely so that he didn't look quite as withdrawn as normal. He was easily one of the best looking men Arashi had ever seen.

"How are you, Arashi-sama?"

"Accepting, as I ever was."

He lifted his rough hand from her chin to brush her face, trying away tears Arashi didn't realize she was shedding. "Poor little priestess… you're not alone, you know. You have Shippo, and your cousin, and a whole herd of little sheep to watch over and tame. Your parents would good people, and the world will miss them, but they left behind two wonderful children to take their place. And, until you feel ready to bear the full weight of that responsibility again, I am here for you to lean on, Priestess."

She managed to actually smile and her hand covered his with the briefest of touches. "Thank you, Houshi-sama. I am pleased for your company." Her smile began a little more sturdy, the corners of her wrinkling with the strength of it. "If you were the type of monk my father was, I would have had to worry, though."

Tetsuya laughed as well. He was glad that she was making jokes. Arashi-sama preserved over all, it seemed. He felt a little silly for having thinking that she might need his support. Arashi would not let herself fall apart over the death of Miroku. She was stronger than that. Yet his trip was not wasted entirely, for those few tears she had shed in front of him.

"It hasn't returned to me yet, Houshi-sama," she admitted. She lowered her head and turned from him, ashamed to be near him or look at him. "My powers. Since I killed those men that murdered my father before me, my powers still have not returned to me in their normal strength. I know that I used a great deal of my energy sealing the bone-eater's well for the townsfolk, but more of it should have returned since then! I've tried every purification ritual I can try, but I still feel their blood upon my hands… I haven't been able to draw my sword, Houshi-sama!

Her voice was still steady, but not her usual tone. For Arashi, Tetsuya thought, it sounded like she was panicking. He reached out and took her shoulders. "Arashi-sama, we will find a way. I promise you we will."

He meant that as well.

* * *

Much to my amazement, Hatsuhana tilted back his head and laughed at the comment I had made. It made something deep inside of me shiver in delight. I felt like I had power over in him now—and I rather liked it. I could make Hatsuhana laugh—not just laugh, but laugh from the belly, with a wide mouth, and his eyes half-closed, with little crow's feet just stepping into the corner.

"Oh, I wish I could have met Inuyasha. It seems that he possessed an ability to annoy Sesshy just by being close to him. We would have run Sesshoumaru ragged, he and I. I was told that he has left for someplace so far away that no one will be able to speak to him again. Is this true, Rin?"

"Yes, he and his wife. Sesshoumaru-sama must be happy to know that, I think, but sad too. For so many years his quest for the throne had been overshadowed by his hunt to prove himself better than his brother—like Inuyasha might want to take the throne himself or something. He established himself on the throne, and I sometimes imagine that he must have been lonely for the years that Inuyasha was tied to that tree. Then all of a sudden Inuyasha was back and walking around and causing trouble," I sighed. "Lord Sesshoumaru must have been happy to suddenly have an opponent again, even as he was furious that Inuyasha was a threat to his family image again. This time Inuyasha won't be showing up again."

Hatsuhana was nodding his head slowly. "Wise words, Rin. Wise words."

I blushed shyly. "Thank you, Hatsuhana…"

I was beginning to consider marrying him; I really was. Did I already say that? I knew, logically, that Sesshoumaru-sama was beyond my grasp, but I was still holding out for him. Now that I knew I could make him laugh, Hatsuhana seemed even more appealing. I glanced up at him, about to speak, when I realized he sensed something I couldn't yet. If could sense it too, then the dragon-horse wasn't agitated by it the way Hatsuhana was. His face was taught, his hazel eyes flashing with a golden sheen. The air around him was hot and humid with restrained power.

I focused all my attention on trying to figure out what was wrong. I did have some ability to sense demonic presences, thanks to the decades of being around Sesshoumaru-sama, and surely if some angry, powerful demon were on his way towards us I would know!

But instead of sensing anything, I first heard it. In the still quiet the sound of the feet of a dozen children reached my ears first. I wasn't concerned about it. The village was full of training demon slayers, and they used the woods as their training grounds when they learned how to track. I stole a quick glance at Hatsuhana, wondering if perhaps they were fully grown adults who had sensed a powerful demon approaching and had come to investigate, but no. I could hear their voices.

"There he is!"

"Get him!"

"Don't let him get away!"

Bursting from the underbrush came Shippo. He was running on all fours, his bushy tail lifted high in the air. He skidded to a stop when realized that his way was blocked. He may not have noticed that the demon standing beside me had his hand on his weapon, but I did. Immediately Shippo changed directions towards me.

"Shippo-kun!" I knelt down to make it easier for him to reach my shoulders. Shippo still enjoyed being carried there, possibly because he gave him a height he would not know for maybe a century yet. Hatsushana's hand twitched and he seemed ready to draw his sword, but for my yell. By that he knew that Shippo was a friend, and the fact that I hugged him in greeting only made it more obvious.

His childish green eyes—impossibly large in his chubby face and full of wisdom already—stared past me to Hatsuhana. He clambered to my shoulder, standing between us. "New friend, Rin?"

Hatsuhana nodded to him quickly and cordially. "Any friend of Rin's is a friend of mine. I will stop the humans from chasing you." He stepped in front of us and drew his sword just as the children came through the forest, still hot on Shippo's trail.

There was a collective gasp when they saw the demon standing in front of them, weapon drawn. I don't know who was the more surprised: the children, or Hatsuhana discovering that Shippo had been chased by a group of _taijiyas_ composed of demons, _hanyous_, and humans. He held his strike, and so did they. It was a small human child in the front who broke the silence, glancing past Hatsuhana to spot Shippo on my shoulder. The fox demon had his smile covered to stifle his laughter, so I suppose that there wasn't that much silence.

"Shippo-kun… who is this?"

"I haven't the foggiest," he said proudly, straightening up proudly and balancing on my slim shoulder with perfect balance. "But this here is Lady Rin, so if she's with him, I can only guess that it's with Lord Sesshoumaru's approval. Please be courteous to our new guests, and return to camp. You should all be ashamed of yourselves. A deaf man could have heard you tromping through the forest, yelling after me and all of that. What did Kissaki tell you? When you track a demon, you must be as quiet as the wind. Any louder, and they will hear you."

"Hai, Shippo-kun." With a bow, the children all turned and began heading through the woods back to the village. Hearing his words wisely, they returned in perfect silence.

Shippo sat back down on my shoulder, staring up at Hatsuhana, was sheathing his sword and chuckling. His eyes were dark green, his expression far too adult for my liking. He rested his elbow on his knee and his chin on his palm. "It's been many years since I saw one of your kind of demons. The last time I saw one was the last time I saw Sesshoumaru-sama, back before Naraku died. Where did you find him, Rin? Why is he travelling with you?"

"He found me, Shippo-kun. This is Lord Hatsuhana, Sesshoumaru-sama's cousin."

Hatsuhana smiled kindly at Shippo. "You seem suspicious of me, sir. Any particular reason why?"

"You laughed when you found out that they were children—and you were laughing at your own mistake at that! If I couldn't smell you, that fact would have made me doubt that you were a real demon. You act too human for it. Even Inuyasha, as human and grumpy as he may have been, wasn't human enough to laugh and take amusement in his own mistakes. You do."

"You seem fairly human yourself, sir," was Hatsuhana's reply.

"Me?" Shippo smiled broadly—he was taking comments like that as compliments now. "My father died several decades ago, killed by the thunder brothers. Since then, a group of three humans and a _hanyou_ raised me. So why did you come, Rin?" He was ignoring Hatsuhana to look at me, his tail shaking with excitement. I had nearly forgotten that Shippo knew about my secret quest. The fox demon was looking for some sign that I had finished it.

"I am showing Hatsuhana around all of Lord Sesshoumaru's lands. I did not think that a tour would be quite complete without a stop at the _taijiya_ village."

"_Taijiya_?" Hatsuhana's beautifully composed face paled slightly in shock, looking almost like one the lilies after which he might have been named. He glanced over his shoulder in the direction of the children, amasement on his face. "Those children were training demon slayers?"

Shippo shrugged, but he was grinning proudly. "Not all of them. Some of them were just neighborhood children who wanted to play. I run, and they chase me. It's a simple game, but it gives them exercise, and it gives the training demon slayers a chance to practice tracking skills. One of the women who raised me, Sango, she was a demon slayer, and her daughter is now the leader of the village. I suppose, Rin, that you should go and see her first. Arashi will be upset otherwise if she finds out there's a powerful demon walking around."

"Of course I will, Shippo-kun. Will you run ahead and find Kissaki-sama for me? I need to talk to her afterwards." With a salute he jumped off my shoulder and scampered into the woods. I turned with a pleasant smile to Hatsuhana only to find him looking shocked. "What is it, Hatsuhana?"

"My… my cousin… he actually knows of this? He knows that the demon slayers are here? I admit I've never met one, but I have heard of the legends. They say that they can kill nearly any demon, even one like my cousin, and that they use the parts of the demons they kill against other demons by fashioning them into weapons and armor."

I began walking towards the village again, my path slightly altered to take us to the temple where Arashi-sama lived. I nodded. "They do precisely that. Sango once explained it to me as a way of honoring the demons they kill. The demon slayers aren't fighters because they hate demons—as Shippo proves, as do some of the children in the crowd, they get along with them perfectly well and even live with them. But every once in a while, a demon will go rogue and become crazed, or mindlessly attack demons. They simply take care of the demons before more people can be hurt. Sesshoumaru-sama knows of their existence, and when some of his human subordinates complain of rogue or wild demons, Sesshoumaru-sama has even authorized the demon slayers to take care of them and pays them for it."

"Astonishing!" His hazel eyes were full of respect for his cousin. "The Sesshoumaru I knew _never_ would have done something like this. He certainly has changed, and clearly for the better. Even the other demons seem to have changed their opinions! Kitsunes have always been around humans, but to be a teacher to them, and a playmate, even for a child!"

He seemed so surprised that he could scarcely put together a proper sentence. I giggled, and then I was ashamed at myself for giggling like a maiden with a crush. I was no young child that should giggle so! But… when Hatsuhana was around… I felt like a young girl again.

* * *

After we finished climbing the long stairs to the shrine that overlooked the village, we found Arashi-sama waiting for us. I can only assume that the priestess could feel Hatsuhana coming, and I was not surprised. What did surprise me was that she had a monk there with her. I didn't think that Arashi-sama interacted with men, except for perhaps Shippo. I knew Tetsuya, having visited his village before.

She bowed her head courteously and so did the monk. Hatsuhana greeted her stoic face with a smile and bowed to her, deeper than she did to him. His smile was not the broad grin he flashed with me, but more like Sesshoumaru's smile—patient, ghostly, and approving. Arashi-sama was stoic, but that was demons had a tendency to like her. She could interact with them on a level that other humans couldn't because she acted like them. They respected her, and they feared her.

"Rin-sama," she greeted, in her alto voice. She was soft-spoken, but her voice was deep for a woman's. "To what do we owe the pleasure of your company?"

"I am showing around Sesshoumaru-sama's cousin. Arashi-sama, this is Hatsuhana-sama." I introduced them with a genteel wave of my hand. "I am not interrupting something, am I, Arashi-sama?"

She gave me the same ghostly, patient smile Hatsuhana wore. The wind stirred her long hair for a second, and caused the sword she wore by her side to move, drawing attention to herself. The monk came to stand beside her as her equal when she introduced him. "As you know, Rin-sama, my father passed away recently. Houshi-sama is here from the nearby village to help me with some of my duties until I feel well enough to resume full responsibility again."

"I thought that priestesses tended to cut all connections to their previous life to avoid situations such as this," Hatsuhana remarked dryly.

Her blue eyes flashed with anger, unleashing the full potential of the reproachful glare she gave him. Added to that was the audible snapping of her power in a controlled release to remind him of whom he was talking to. Hatsuhana's neck straightened; he was impressed. "After my mother died, my father had nothing to do in the village but to help me in the shrine. It is to him I owe my powers, and it is he who taught me how to use them. If you cannot accept, lord, in your short sightedness, that I could not sever myself completely from familial bonds, accept that I am in mourning for the loss of my mentor and friend."

"Yes, priestess," he said almost meekly.

I hated to leave on such an unfriendly note, but I had other business to which to attend. Arashi-sama, despite her angry display, would not harm Hatsuhana. I was more than confident that, on the contrary, Arashi-sama would win his respect. She may have had her mother's anger, and now it was set into a slow and steady burn from the death of her father, but she had her father's wit and silver tongue. She would, no doubt, soon have Hatsuhana eating out of her hand.

"Arashi-sama, I need to go and see your cousin. I bring a message for her from her mother. May I leave you to entertain Hatsushana while I am gone?"

Her blue eyes searched my face, looking for some clue. She, like Shippo, wondered if I brought a message regarding Kaede-chan. I could have let her in on it, but I could feel Hatsushana watching me as well. No doubt he was surprised that I was going to leave him, and with an angry priestess and a monk at that! I did not give any sign that the message I had was about Kaede-chan.

She nodded when she saw I was maintaining the patient smile. "I will be more than happy to show Hatsuhana around. Houshi-sama can take over my responsibilities at the shrine for now. I expect that you, Lord Hatsuhana, have never seen a _taijiya_ village."

As they were beginning to discuss what they wanted to do, I slipped away. Shippo had located for Kissaki-sama and they, along with Kaede, were waiting for me in Kissaki's hut. I didn't even get a chance to sit down before Kissaki leapt up from where she was sitting.

"Do you have it? Can we do it?" Her voice was excited, but her freckles were obscured by the look of worry on her face. I think that she wanted Kaede-chan to be back with her family, and safe, but at the same time she didn't want her time with Kaede to end. Kissaki and Kaede had grown up together, and now Kissaki was going to have to say goodbye to her—forever.

With that thought in mind I was almost relieved to shake my head no. "Your mother says hello, Kissaki, and promises to see you soon. I would draw attention to myself buying the things that you need, especially know that I am showing around Sesshoumaru's cousin the western lands…"

"What?" Kaede leapt up this time, her hand tight around the Tetsusaiga. "Sesshoumaru's cousin? Here?" I could see the panic in her gold-washed eyes.

"Relax, Kaede-chan. I already took your heritage into consideration. Unless he sees you and recognizes you, or gets close enough to smell you specifically, he won't be able to sense you. With all the other half-demons in the village—and full demons like Shippo-kun," I said with a kind smile, "that he won't be able to feel you out any other way." She sat back down with a sigh of relief.

"You got my _mother_ involved?" Kissaki growled.

I nodded. "Yes. I gave her the money, and she will be bringing them to you in a few weeks. That leaves me about two weeks to try and figure out how I can get a hold of some of Sesshoumaru-sama's blood. That is proving to be difficult—but I knew it would be when I offered my help."

Kissaki looked ready to argue with me over something, but Kaede pulled her down and gave her the same reproachful look that I had seen Arashi-sama shoot Hatsuhana. On Kaede's face, I recognized the expression as Kagome's. Kaede had no doubt learned it from her mother after all the times her mother would use it on Inuyasha. Kissaki crossed her arms grumpily, and Kaede smiled at me. "Thank you for your help, Rin-sama."

I smiled at her brightly. "You're welcome, Kaede-chan."

We spoke a little more after that. They told me some of the things that they had been doing while I was gone, and spoke highly of the success of the school, as well as the worries they had over Arashi-sama. She was still stoic and reserved as normal, but even around them she had not returned to herself. I tried to ease over their worries, as best I could. Shippo cuddled on my lap throughout the conversation, but finally it was time for me to take my leave.

They escorted my outside. Everything seemed to move in slow motion when I stepped outside and looked up the dirt road. Arashi-sama and Hatsuhana were walking down the street towards us, on their way back to the shrine from the dojo where the slayers were trained. Kissaki stood beside me, and behind her, Kaede. Hatsuhana smelled me and looked up to greet me, a smile in his eyes. But then his gaze slipped past me to land on Kaede.

I don't know if he could smell her or not. I don't really think that it mattered. Hough it had been long ago, he had seen Inuyasha. Kaede-sama looked like him, and thus, to Seeshoumaru-sama, so I supposed that it wouldn't have mattered if he had ever seen Inuyasha. More importantly, he recognized the sword strapped to Kaede's side. Tetsusaiga.

It was like the woods. I could feel the power gathering. It lifted the hair from the back of my neck. More frightening was the effect it had on Hatsuhana. His hair lifted away from his back and shoulders, a streaming braid behind him. His white teeth were visible, but they were fangs that were frightening. His hazel eyes were wide—had he been Sesshoumaru-sama, they would have been changing to deep crimson. He had forgotten about his sword. His hands were clawed, ready for attack. His growl was audible, cutting through the sounds of the city.

Beside him, to my horror, Arashi-sama was reaching for her own weapon, ready to strike him down for intending to harm her family. I was already running for him, trying to stop him and calm him, when I heard Kissaki dive for her Kaede. Kaede had her hand wrapped around the hilt of Tetsusaiga, ready to draw it to defend herself, while Kissaki was trying to stop her. Everything was coming down—everything was falling apart. Hatsuhana was ready to kill Kaede, Arashi-sama was ready to kill to protect Kaede, and Kaede was ready to use Tetsusaiga, alerting Lord Sesshoumaru.

I didn't understand it. I could feel that his killing edge was rising. This wasn't self-defense or protection, like in the forest. This was aggressive. This was the intent to kill and to destroy.

Where had my smiling demon gone? Where was his laughter and his charming wit?

It was my mistake. I had started thinking of him as being human. I had stopped thinking of him as a being that could easily kill me. I had stopped thinking of him as a demon. That mistake almost cost me the life of Kaede-chan and Hatsuhana. I would not make that mistake again.

With Kissaki-sama taking care of Kaede, I dove for Hatsuhana before Arashi-sama could strike him down. I grabbed his arm. The feeling of his rising chi was warm against my skin, and my face became flushed. "You will not hurt her, Hatsuhana," I ordered with all of my authority. He may have been Sesshoumaru-sama's cousin, but I was the woman Sesshoumaru-sama had placed in charge of humans. This was my domain. "I promised I would protect her!"

"Why?" he growled between clenched teeth. "She's a quarter-demon! She's a threat to Sesshoumaru's crown!"

So, that was it. He was not upset at her heritage. He did not see her as an abomination. He was reacting to the basic desire to protect his cousin's thrown. This was something with which I could work. I do not know what I would have done if Hatsuhana was motivated because he thought that Kaede was some kind of a… _freak._ I reached out and touched his hand. I heard Arashi-sama gasp a little in surprise. She had never seen someone, especially a human, use touch to try and stop a demon from becoming bestial. I touched his hand briefly, and I felt something like a shot go through him.

"Please, let us talk about it. We're trying to send her home, where she won't be a threat to Sesshoumaru-sama's thrown. She's all alone here, Hatsuhana! Her family can't reach her, and if I don't help her, she'll never see them again! I won't make her an orphan while it's in my power to stop it!"

With barely restrained anger and ferocity, Hatsuhana agreed to listen. We explained everything—the truth. We explained where Kagome came from and why it was so hard to send Kaede back. We didn't mention my quest. It was a tough enough situation, between a furious freckled Kissaki, a barely restrained priestess, Kaede staring at Hatsuhana intently, and Hatsuhana himself, whose voice when he asked questions was a rumble in his throat.

What a motley crew we made.

Finally, Hatushana calmed down. He stared at me with wide, hazel eyes. "What can I do to help?"

"Help?" I squeaked.

His hand gently touched mine. "This was your burden. Now I know it too, therefore it is also mine to bear." He smiled at me. "We will be traitors together."

Traitors together. And so it came to be that Hatsuhana knew the secret of Kaede too.

* * *

To be continued...  
THE AN: So, it took me awhile to post this because I wrote the chapter and then lost it. So, I had to rewrite it. It was slow going at first. All I could recall was that I introduced Tetsuya and that Hatsuhana found out about Kaede-chan. But, as I worked with it, I peiced it back together. I hope you enjoyed it! For anyone wondering where Sesshoumaru-sama is, he will be back in 2 more chapters.

And because it took so long to get chapter 10 for you, I will post 11 right away--but it'll be another long wait for chapter 12. I need to make a bunch of lesson plans. Coming two weeks from now, I'll be teaching about Ancient Greek civilizations. Whee!

Love,

the PoF


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven**

Five of them came.

They rode into the town without warning; large, burly men with chalky skin turned beet red from the sun, and blonde hair, like hay. Their faces were furry with beards, and their clothes hung on them. Their trip overseas had lost them weight, but it still did nothing to hide their muscle. They dismounted close to the temple, causing the town to murmur with whispers, people staring at the strange newcomers.

It was Shippo who rushed to find Kissaki and Kaede and tell them of the newcomers. They sent them to find Hatsuhana and I and let us know as well. I knew who they were by their description, and Kaede had confirmed it for us. "The Englishmen… they've made it this far into the interior."

"They're moving fast," Hatsuhana agreed. He glanced at me a little suspiciously. "You want to go and see them, don't you?"

I nodded, already dusting off my clothes and moving towards the shrine. We had been watching the young demon slayers practicing, and I was a little sad to have to leave them, but my curiosity was winning me over. I needed to see these Englishmen. I needed to learn all I could to prepare my lard for meeting them. I need to satiate my curiosity over these strange, blonde men.

They, however, had come to see Arashi. A small Japanese commoner was acting as a translator for them. Arashi was not fooled when she saw him; his aura and movements told her senses that he was a demon. Both she and Tetsuya stood when the men entered the shrine, trying to hide their disgust at how the Englishmen ignored tradition. Men were not supposed to trample unannounced into the temple as if it were a common inn.

"Is there something with which I may help you?" Arashi-sama asked in the politest form of Japanese. The men ignored her, unable to understand her. Tetsuya straightened, trying to impose himself between Arashi-sama and the men.

"This is the leader of the village," the Japanese demon told the Englishmen in flawless English. He gestured in the direction of the two priests. The largest of the Englishmen strode forward, crossing his arms. He stood two heads taller than Tetsuya, who was by no means a short man, speaking rapidly in a guttural language. "He asks that you surrender your village to his jurisdiction and that of his overlord or else he will eradicate you."

Arashi's cheeks darkened with anger. "We will do no such thing!" She moved forward to stand directly behind Tetsuya, staring up at the Englishman with ferocious blue eyes. "We have faced worse threats than you and lived through it with barely a scratch. You do not know whom you are speaking to, sir."

Despite her answer, the Englishman did not answer, though her body language was unmistakable. This close to the man, she noticed what she had not earlier. He was a demon as well. It was faint, with no menace or inhuman tangible quality about him, but he was a demon. She realized this as the Japanese demon was translating. Before he could finish, the burly demon cut him off.

"Who is this woman that she would speak to me so? I deal not with concubines. Is the leader of this village a eunich or a mute that he would let her talk to me as an equal?" he demanded, not taking his eyes from Tetsuya's calm face.

Tetsuya's voice was almost friendly when he glanced past the Englishman to the translator. "It is rude that we cannot understand what he says. You were not going to translate that, were you?" The man hung his head. He had not been planning on translating it, in case Arashi-sama should be angered by it. The comment was rude and he knew it. Tetsuya's eyes hardened almost imperceptibly. "Translate it. Verbatim, please."

When he did, Arashi was already reaching for her sword, but Tetsuya's strong hand stopped her. He answered, knowing that no answer from Arashi would be acceptable to the foreigner. "I am not the leader of this village. Arashi-sama is the spiritual leader of this village. You have already heard her answer. We would rather fight than to submit our lands to impolite barbarians such as yourselves, who disrespect our women and customs because they are different from your own.

"If you would like, you may go and ask the political leader of the village your question, but _she_ will give you the same answer Arashi-sama did… with perhaps the exception of sticking her sword through a body part so that her words will not need any translation."

The man sneered at the translation. It did not escape the notice of either of the two present that he was armed with three different weapons. Arashi's hand closed around her belt, close to the sword she wore in case a fight erupted. Before it did, Hatsuhana and I arrived. When we entered the shrine, Hatsuhana stopped and stared. His face was ashen.

"Cook."

"Li."

I took a step back, uncertain of who Tetsuya was, and frightened of the tone Hatsuhana had used. It was less of a tone and much more of a growl. It reminded me greatly of Sesshoumaru-sama, reminding me again that no matter how much Hatsuhana acted like a human, he was still Sesshoumaru-sama's cousin.

"You two know each other, Hatsuhana-sama?" Arashi-sama asked each other.

"We met in China," Hatsuhana said, not taking his eyes from the demon named Cook. "It is one of my less pleasant memories from that trip. I found him abrasive and power hungry."

"Li… or is it Hatsuhana-sama now?" Cook laughed in halted Chinese. Hatsuhana's teeth ground together at the sound of his voice. I could feel a fight in the air. "You look good. I see that you have a pet following you around. You always cared too much about humans. That was one of your weak spots."

He leveled his sword at me and Hatsuhana stepped in front of me. Arashi was kept from interacting by Tetsuya, furious that someone had dared to draw steal against another person while inside her shrine. The air was cold, cooled by the energy gathering about the room. Cook continued.

"I am glad to see that you left China and that I could find you here. This makes things _much_ more interesting. It's a shame that you won't live through all of it. I make you an oath, Hatsuhana-sama, here and now. I will burn down this heathen shrine, by the time I conquer this land, and I will take the women whom you protect—this… whore and the priestess—and I will give them to my men to show them how your Japanese women can perform sexually. And your rotting head shall watch and hear from a pike at my front door."

Threatening loved ones is just something bad guys did. Hatsuhana did not translate for us Cook's halted Chinese, but he did not have to for me to realize that I was being threatened. I have been threatened before. As I said, it was just something that bad guys did. When they see their nemeses protecting something, they promise to hurt it just to get a reaction.

Had he threatened Sesshoumaru-sama, I do not know that they would have received a reaction. He cares for me, yes, and it is his duty to protect me, but would he have reacted to their threats? I do not know. He is always so stoic, and yet I do recall being in danger as a child and no matter the danger between us, he was always their to save me.

For the first time, on that day, I saw the benefits of the demon's stoic natures. They knew how their foes acted in battles, and they had learned to develop cold faces to keep their weak points from being known. But Hatsuhana had no such cold face. When Cook finished threatening me, I felt a moment of rising power and heat come from him. I saw his blade lash out to strike Cook's before I realized that he had drawn steel. Suddenly everyone was yelling, Arashi-sama for them to take it outside, Tetsuya for them to stop, and Cook's men to defeat Hatsuhana. He had told them all that I was his weak spot.

The fight was like a signal. Instantly the other three Englishmen with Hatsuhana drew their weapons, engaging Arashi-sama and Tetsuya. They were not prepared for Arashi to know how to use the sword she wore. With one fluid movement she had drawn her weapon and sliced the man's chest deeply, the tip of her _katana_ biting through his leather armor and into the soft skin of his stomach. On another fluid movement she had reversed the movement and done a second stroke before sliding the weapon back through her belt loop.

He lay on the ground bleeding to death from a stomach wound—a painful and slow death—and Arashi-sama calmly stepped over him to help Tetsuya, though he was easily holding his own. His movements were graceful and rehearsed, while the Englishman's seemed suddenly very sloppy and ill-trained.

Then there was Hatsuhana-sama. I had never seen him fight before. He was, to be perfectly blunt, beautiful when he fought, just as my lord was. He was fluid and swift, his attacks deadly. Sword struck sword so hard that sparks flew, and they were hurling insults back and forth in rapid Chinese. His eyes were furious, his face angry… and all to protect me. It made me shiver deep inside. Who was I that he would fight so beautifully for me?

The last man Cook had brought with him ran outside. I bolted after him to stop him, and I heard Hatsuhana call my name. I did not care that he tried to stop me; I did care that his moment of distraction resulted in a slice across his upper arm, reddening the pale fabric of his _hakama_. I was of an age where I could protect myself; Hatsuhana did not know that, unlike Sesshoumaru-sama. He did not need to fight for me with such anger because he knew that I knew how to protect my honor with my fan, and my _wakazashi_, and if needs be, with my fists, small as they are.

When he cleared the door to the shrine, the man howled. It was not a cry of frustration, but a call to arms. It was a genuine _howl_, that made the ground shake and the leaves rub against each other. I stood in the doorway, frightened. What creature could have made such a horrible sound? And then, from beyond the wooded area beyond the rice fields, a large crowd of birds flew from the trees, startled by the responding call. They had reinforcements coming.

They came from over the hills. Men, men everywhere! Japanese men promised loot from war, blonde Englishmen, dark-haired Englishmen, men wearing tattered breeches and skin as dark as ebony, and even some men with foreign weapons I recognized as Chinese from Hatsuhana's stories. They were demon and human alike. This was not just some envoy from England. This was an invasion.

They didn't know that this village would fight back. They didn't know what they would meet in this village. They didn't know that we would resist.

I drew my _wakazashi_. The demon Englishman's sensitive hearing heard it and turned, grinning. It became bolder when he saw his opponent. He laughed, drawing his own blades—twin daggers—thinking that I was an easy target. He had better weapons on him. I can only assume that he wanted to use the daggers to incapacitate me so that his leader could follow through on his threats.

He charged at me, daggers out, and I quickly drew my fan, using it to block his attacks. I was not a very good two handed fighter, and he was. It only deepened his belief that I was the weaker fighter, but he had learned to be wary of my speed. For a human, I was fast—as fast as any trained _taijiya_. I had to have developed fast reflexes in order to fight with my lord.

I ducked under his swing, and closed my fan, using the heavy handle to jab into his stomach. He coughed, and I could feel it land in my hair. I was only lucky that I had not struck him hard enough to cause his stomach to rebel. He kicked at me and it landed hard in my ribs, causing me to fall of balance and land in the dirt. He dove on me with a fierce cry, but I had already rolled away and stabbed at him with my sword. There was a moment when I thought I had not struck him hard enough before my blade sank through the leather he wore and into his skin.

There were already cries and sounds of fighting from the village, the sound of dying men and women and of lonely children, but his roar cut through all of that. I tried my best to dislodge my sword from his shoulder, but his hand gripped the metal emerging from the other side, holding it in place as his already large body began to twist and convulse, becoming larger, and furry. His eyes were glowing red, his mouth twisted and misshapen and full of sharp yellow teeth. I backed away, recognizing the bear demon when I saw one. My fan, though a wonderful weapon, would be of no help to me.

Arashi-sama saved me. She darted in, no more than a blur of white and red robes. The air gushed red for a second, hot blood splattering my face, as her _katana_ cut through the demons entire leg. She rotated the sword in her hands, spinning on her back heels for a second swing as the demon came down, a mountain of furred, bloodied flesh. The sword shone silver and crimson, a nearly invisible blur, and then the demon's head landed on the ground with a lifeless thud.

She turned to me, her face streaked with red, and she dried her precious sword on the red pants she wore. Tetsuya was nowhere to be seen. "Are you alright?" she asked me.

"Yes. Where is the other priest?"

"Helping Hatsuhana-sama." She did not bother to sheath her sword, but pulled mine from the shoulder of the demon she had killed. Arashi offered it back to me. "You and I will help the villagers. Not all of them are trained demon slayers."

"Inuyasha-sama taught you, did he not?" I asked her as we raced down the long stairs to the village. Arashi-sama nodded. "I thought so. That technique—I have often seen it before. Inuyasha-sama must have improved his fighting since defeating Naraku. Sesshoumaru-sama has almost the same style of sword fighting. One can tell that they come from the same line. Though how amazes me, as…"

She stopped suddenly, grabbing my shoulder. "Rin-sama, my friends and people are out there. We can discuss sword-craft at a later date, and I will be more than happy to debate the merits of Inuyasha's technique. Right now, let's just concentrate on fighting. This…" Arashi's grip lessened when she stared me in the eyes, seeing my fear that I tried to ignore. "This is your first large-scale battle, isn't it?"

"The most enemies I have ever faced in reality have been two on one. They were only bandits trying to rob me. This is my first time going up against anyone really trained and intent to kill me. I know I can defeat them, because I have been trained by Sesshoumaru-sama, but… but I am frightened."

Arashi nodded and continued racing down the stairs, fumbling for my hand. "Then don't leave my side. I'll make certain that your back is guarded."

My face felt hot. Yes, long have I admired Arashi-sama. "Thank you, Arashi-sama."

There were not many men to kill. Arashi-sama was, after the battle in the shrine, not aiming to kill as she fought. Neither was I. These were not all Englishmen, but our own countrymen. They were not, unlike the men in the shrine, invaders and foreigners, but people who had been persuaded or hired by false hopes. Who were we to kill them just because they had been starving and had been promised a bit of food in return for fighting? They were far from trained fighters.

The people in the streets made the fighting difficult. It was cramped, quartered fighting. Arashi-sama had promised me she would watch my back, but she never needed to. There was not enough room for our opponents to surround us.

We fought our way into the centre of the town, where the dojo lay, but it was already cleared of enemies. Their bodies were strewn about the ground. It was the work of Kissaki and Kaede-chan. The people felled by Kissaki had telltale sword wounds, while those killed by Kaede-chan sported claw marks. They were not as deep or large as her fathers, and nowhere near as powerful as Sesshoumaru-sama's, but they were precise enough so that her enemies stayed down after her blows. She was keeping her promise. Kaede-chan was not using the Tetsusaiga to fight.

We didn't get that much father when Hatsuhana caught up to us. His brows were furrowed in an expression of concern. He was, as always, handsome, but this time it was with a rugged, devilish kind of handsome. I loved the way his brown hair was all ruffled. Sesshoumaru-sama never would have allowed his hair to look so. Hatsuhana's hand gripped my arm tightly as he spun me around to look at him.

"Are you alright? You are unharmed?"

"Ah…" I stammered for a second, wondering why he was asking if I was unharmed. Of course I was unharmed. He seemed to figure that out for himself, and his eyes become almost… incandescent.

"You know how to fight?"

I nodded. "Sesshoumaru-sama taught me."

He smiled. "Sesshoumaru-sama is much smarter than the last time I saw him." He dragged me closer to him, and then he hugged me so tightly in a one-armed grip that his body heat was stifling—his other hand still held his sword, streaked with blood. I had forgotten again that he was a demon, with a strength somewhere on par with my lord's. "I am glad for it. When I saw you chase after that bear demon, I thought that you were doomed."

"And I thought the same of you, my lord," I admitted blushingly, "when I saw you fight that demon." His open display of affection was unsettling. Even humans did not necessarily do that. I could feel Arashi-sama staring at me. I was embarrassed. "Did you defeat him?"

"No," he said, shaking his head in remorse. "He ran away, the coward. It was an even fight. He's still weak from the voyage here. My skills have become… stagnant after my own journey. It will take a better fighter than I to defeat him. He will…"

He didn't get a chance to finish the thought. The _taijiyas_ were returning and reporting to Arashi-sama. They had fought the invaders and defeated them, and then chased them into the woods. The demon slayers were reporting to Arashi-sama because, besides being the spiritual leader of the town, they could not find Kissaki and Kaede to report to them, their teachers.

Arashi-sama frowned deeply. She spoke to Hatsuhana-sama, but did not look up at him. Her eyes meekly stayed down. "Hatsuhana-sama, what happened to Tetsuya-sama?"

The dog demon bowed his head. "He remained at the temple so that you could locate him without difficulty."

"Thank you. Rin-sama, Hatsuhana-sama. My cousins are foolhardy and stubborn. It is a dangerous combination. I would ask that you go out into Inuyasha's forest to find them and stop them from getting themselves into too much trouble. I understand if you do not wish to do this—you have no obligation to…."

Hatsuahana-sama reached out to touch her shoulder gently. Arashi, I thought for a moment, shivered at his touch before she controlled it. It must have been my imagination, however. When she turned her face to see him, there was naught but appreciation on her face. Hatsuhana had charmed her just as he had me. "We will find them for you, Arashi-sama."

Then something amazing happened; something that had never happened to me before. Right then and there in front of my eyes, Hatsuhana changed forms in front of me. That in and of itself was amazing. In all my life, I have only ever been able to see Sesshoumaru-sama change his forms a few times. It meant that I had come to associate it with something special and private. That Hatsuhana allowed me to see it made me feel… closer to him. It made me like him more by just letting me see his transformation than did the way he held me in front of Arashi-sama and the demon slayers.

When he was done, he stood before a large dog, only slightly smaller than Sesshoumaru-sama, with soft velveteen fur. Like Sesshoumaru-sama he was built like a sleek hunting dog, and the blue crescent on his forehead looked royal blue, unlike Sesshoumaru-sama's pale, baby blue crescent.

In front of Arashi-sama, in front of me, he knelt down on his lower legs. He was almost bowing to me, and he was low enough that if I reached up I could touch the tip of his shoulder bone. He nodded to me and made a low sound that was something akin to a whine.

"You… you want me to get on?" I stammered, my voice a whisper. I could not bring myself to raise it, but he still heard me with his fine-tuned senses. Sesshoumaru-sama had made it quite clear to me since I had been a little girl that I was never to even ask him for a ride. And I never did. Even if he was a humanoid, I never asked to be carried. I understood it was degrading for them to be seen playing horses for humans—particularly human girls. "But… but Sesshoumaru-sama…"

He growled, arching a lip to reveal perfectly white fangs. He stared at me from one golden hazel eye. I knew what he was telling me though no words were exchanged. It was the same mantra he said whenever I compared him to my lord. _I am not Sesshoumaru-sama_. I was coming to learn that well! And yet he said it with such vehemence sometimes that it reminded me all too well of the way Sesshoumaru-sama would assure those under him that he was not his father and would not make the same mistakes. Perhaps Hatsuhana was more like Sesshoumaru-sama then he would have liked to admit. After all, he had reacted badly in front of Kaede-chan…

I reached up and grabbed ahold of his thick fur. It was easy for me to lift myself up to his neck from there. I curled my legs under myself neatly and hung on for dear life when he suddenly took off. I understand now why he insisted that I climbed to his back. He could clear three of four houses in a row with a single stride. In what it would have taken me a good five or ten minutes to walk, it took him mere seconds. It was exhilarating! I loved the way the wind caught my face and tugged at my neat hair. I loved the way I suddenly felt so very much… alive. I had been working so long, tending only to my flowers in my spare time, that I had forgotten how life could truly be exciting—that I could forget about politics now and then! The last time I had felt so unloaded, so unrestrained, so… so very _free_, was when Sesshoumaru-sama had kissed me.

I never got a chance to dismount. He barreled into the trees. I think that with his superior senses he could smell Kissaki and Kaede-chan. He pushed on and I pressed myself against him—this time without shame—to keep the trees from knocking me from his back. His soft fur was almost reassuring against my cheek when now and then he would pass through branches so thick that my bun was quickly torn apart, small tears in my clothes, and leaves trapped in both.

Kissaki and Kaede chan had indeed pursued the invaders the furthest. They left a trail of bodies behind them, some of them recovering and beginning to move. Their pity and compassion almost became their undoing. Those that had recovered had pursued them intent upon revenge… and upon killing Kaede-chan. When she fought, there was no way to hide her parentage. Her claws, her speed, her strength, the way her eyes flashed like some wild animal all gave her away. Even Kissaki, born to hold the _katana_ she held since her birth, was less precise and slower than Kaede-chan. They had recognized her for demon-spawn, but because they could not smell anything demon of her, they had dawned on the truth. Kaede-chan was a quarter demon.

For those who had discovered the truth, the attack upon the village had become secondary. Killing Kaede-chan, riding proof that half-demons could indeed produce children, riding the world of Kaede-chan, had become paramount.

We found them surrounded in the forest. Shippo had found them and joined them, loyal almost to a fault. There was evidence that he had fought littered along the ground, but he had also been the first to fall. His face was deathly pale and his hand soaked with blood as it pressed against his stomach. Kaede-chan stood over him, talking to him. She hadn't even been aware that we stood there with her, above the tree tops, because she was too focused on the fight. Kissaki stood out in front of her, her chest heaving as she struggled for breath. Blood crossed her arms like a fabric pattern, from metal weapon and demon claws alike, but she remained fighting. They were surrounded—by how many men, I don't know. I couldn't see from where I sat on Hatsuhana's back.

They attacked again, in waves. Kissaki bravely held her ground, felling many of them as she tried to protect Kaede-chan. She was no longer being compassionate. Her attacks sent legs and arms falling from men's torsos. Men cried out in pain from her merciless and precise strikes. Most made it around her, coming from Kaede-chan from all sides.

Shippo cried a warning. I could hear it, his youthful voice almost foreign amidst the oaths and death-cries. Later it was recounted to me that he saw the people rushing for Kaede-chan and he tried to protect her. He could barely move from his wounds, and yet he tried to create illusions—complicated ones, it seems. Kaede-chan was no about to let the little _kitsune_ who had been a brother to her sacrifice himself. Nor was she going to let Kissaki, who had been like a sister unto her, die. Nor was she going to let herself die here! She used the only path open for her.

She drew the Tetsusaiga. I could see _that_ from where I was and instantly Hatsuhana and I fell upon her, trying to stop her from using it. We were there to help her, and with our added help, surely there would be no need to use such drastic measures! But it was too late. As it was drawn there was a flash of light as the Tetsusaiga transformed, as there usually was. It all but sparkled with intensity! I doubt not that it transformed to such an advance stage simply by sheer need—that of Kaede-chan to protect her family and her own life.

All it took was one blow. One blow, and all those around her who opposed her fell. The marks in the land from the sword's _kaze no kizu_ blew out in all directions from Kaede-chan. Blood was everywhere. I shall never forget the sight. Nor would she. She had to lean on the sword, again dull and rusty, to support herself and she had no breath left in her. The sword had been kicked back to normal once the threat had been averted. Even hardened Kissaki, a bloodied warrior, stood pale and shaking as she stared at her cousin.

"Kaede…"

She didn't hear her. She scooped up Shippo's inert body with a trembling arm. Her other hand refused—or possibly was unable too—leave her father's sword. She sat back on the raped land, cradling the body. "Shippo-kun… Shippo-kun… wake up, Shippo-kun!"

Hatsuhana transformed back in the center of the clearing. I stepped off of him, glad for my wooden sandals that kept my feet clear of the bloodied ground. I am ashamed to say that. I am. Shippo lay close to death, Kissaki was injured, there were dozens dead around me, the air already filling with the flapping of wings from the carrion birds gorging on the newly dead, and yet I was glad my feet were not touching that blood.

Hatsuhana did not seem to care. Nor did he seem to touch the blood. He walked up to Shippo and Kaede without worry and took him gently from her arms. He checked the little demon closely and then smiled at her.

"Don't worry, Kaede-sama. He's just unconscious from the wounds. I can travel faster than either of you. I will take him back to the temple to have his wounds cared for. I believe the threat has now been averted, and between the three of you, you should be able to make it back to the temple safely."

As he spoke he quickly made a sling from the spare cloth on his body in which to carry Shippo safely. It left his arms free for balance so that he could run faster. I stepped in his path as he walked by. I knew that even I who had dwelled so long amongst the demons could not hide the fear from my face. Of all the demons of the world, there was only one who truly frightened me, and he was coming now.

"You're leaving me here?"

I did not want to be left alone. I could not be left alone. Not now!

He nodded. "I could use your help to carry Shippo if I transformed, but look at them." He nodded back to Kaede-chan and Kissaki. "The girl is trained from that final attack, and the demon slayer is injured. They need someone to protect them in case there are threats in this forest. If my cousin taught you how to fight, then I have little doubts you can deal with whatever comes. More importantly, _I_ know, as _you_ know what else is coming, and I know that you are the only one, possibly in the whole world, who can handle it. The fox demon needs help immediately. I cannot stay to help. This is in your hands, Rin."

He paused for a moment and then inclined his head to kiss my brow. In a flash he was gone, disappeared into the forest as if the leaves had swallowed him whole. His words rang in my head. I was the only one, possibly in the whole world, who could avert the coming disaster.

In the distance I heard him howl his anger at the sky. The intensity made my bones shake. Kaede and Kissaki braced themselves, holding hands to reassure themselves. I had no one.

I turned to face the sound.

In one strike Kaede-chan saved herself and her family. And in that same strike, she had awakened the dormant Tensaiga. Sesshoumaru-sama would have known that the sword had been used. The two swords resonated off of one another. He was coming to investigate, for I had told him that Inuyasha would never again return to Nippon—at least never while my lord was still in charge. He was coming to fight his brother—and he would find Kaede-chan instead.

If he was furious at Inuyasha's birth, how mad would he be when he learned that Inuyasha had a child?

I could already see his shadow looming over the clearing. He had sped as fast as he could to learn the cause of the resonance.

And I stood between him and Kaede.

* * *

To be continued... 


	12. Chapter 12

-12-

The shadows stretched out along the ground, snaking under bushes and around trees. In the skies the clouds darkened from the unnatural shadow. The wind changed direction and pulled at me, ripping my hair from my bun. The new wind was bitterly cold and violent, ripping green leaves from their branches. Sesshoumaru-sama was coming.

I turned to look at Kaede-chan. She was out of breath, bleeding, and leaning heavily on her sword. Kissaki was still healthy though, and I watched her take the sword from Kaede, gripping her cousin with the other hand. Her freckles were almost invisible against the redness of her cheeks. She turned to look at me. "Keep behind me, Rin."

"But you can't use it!" Kaede-chan said, almost pleadingly, reaching for her sword.

"Kagome couldn't use it either, yet it protected her from Sesshoumaru just by being in her hand. Hopefully it will do the same for us."

They did not understand. This was not the petty anger he displayed in his rivalry with Inuyasha. That anger would not stretch around the world so, nor would it cause me to be earnestly afraid of my lord. The leaves continued to swirled around us, and then, he was there. He towered above us, and even above the trees. His long muzzle was lifted into a snarl, the curve of his fangs highlighted by the sheen of his saliva. His ears were erect, and his eyes were furious. His great nose moving up and down as he smelled the air. He leaned down close, his eyes narrowing when he recognized the sword Kissaki held.

Sesshoumaru-sama disappeared. Kissaki could still feel his presence, and did not loosen her stance or move her sword. His presence was stifling. I could feel it pressing down around me, weighing on my shoulders and making it hard to breathe.

He emerged from the trees as a human, his naked sword out and held at the ready. His eyebrows were drawn together, a furrow between them. When the light struck him, his eyes shone red rather than gold, and still the leaves swirled. Blades of grass and whole branches turned away from Sesshoumaru-sama from the power of his anger. I swallowed in fear, and felt myself wishing that Hatsuhana was there with me and that he had not left me alone.

No, not alone. I had Kissaki and Kaede with me.

He stared at Kaede. His whole face was sharp, and his apathetic voice held a hint of disdain. His eyes flashed red at the mere sight of her. He was not paying attention to the sword, which I thought my lord would have been after in the flash. No, he saw Kaede for what she was. Next, instead of looking at the sword, he looked at me, and his lips drew back into a snarl that made me shiver in fear. He knew; he knew that I had failed to tell him what Kaede was. His attention went back to Kaede.

"You are my neice," he said simply, startling me. I was surprised. Sesshoumaru-sama was acknowledging her as a blood relation? Kaede stared back at him defiantly, her face as stubborn as Inuyasha's ever was. It made my lord smirk. "Yes, I can see the resemblance. You stink of my half-brother and his bitch."

I don't know if Kaede's response was incredibly brave, or foolish. She leaned up to glare at him. "I bet it really bothers you, doesn't it? Your half-brother has managed to get a girl, and have a family, and supports them, while all you have is some cold, empty throne."

I wouldn't have expected the phrase to bother Sesshoumaru-sama, but to my surprise the grip on his sword tightened until his knuckles were white. He had never much talked about raising a family, after all. Even more surprising, he growled at her! I think that having Inuyasha's successes thrown at him, even if they were not goals he had ever advocated, irked him. He was jealous that Inuyasha had completed something he had not.

"Ha! It does bother you!" Kaede had come to the same conclusion. "You're jealous of him!"

Kissaki was the wise one. "Kaede-chan, stop it!"

Immediately she fell silent. Now Ssshoumaru-sama's gaze shifter to look at Kaede and the sword that she held. "Tetsusaiga… Where is my brother? We have a score to settle."

No one spoke. My heart felt lodged in my throat. Kaede's head hung low and she was trying hard not to cry, but she was still sobbing, her eyes bright with unshed tears. "He… He's dead. You never really will see him again. Tetsusaiga is mine now, by right of inheritance."

"And yet you are not the one holding it," he pointed out, still glancing between the two girls. "You are too weak to use it right now. What happened to you that you are… no, no matter. You are only half the demon your father was, and though female, you have his attitude. It is a dangerous, unhealthy attitude. Even if you were at full health, you would not be a match for me. Stand aside, human. This is a matter of family honor."

He began to walk forward, and true to her training, Kissaki did not move. "I'm not going to let you hurt my cousin," she said.

Sesshoumaru-sama stopped, surprised. "Cousin?" He studied Kissaki. "Ah. You are related to Inuyasha's woman."

"B… blood sisters… with Sango." Kissaki's voice shook. I don't think she actually had expected her comment would stop him.

"The slayer. That would explain the outfit. Out of my way. I have no quarrel with you, _taijiya_, but I will go through you to remove the stain upon my family. She does not deserve to live. She is an abomination!" Kissaki glanced at me, as if begging me for help. I could not move; I was too afraid. Though he seemed controlled, the grass still swayed away from him under his feet. That controlled anger only made him all the more dangerous. He was directed in his attack on Kaede. He would accept nothing else. Everything in him was set on destroying her. "Sesshoumaru-sama will not repeat himself again, _taijiya._ Move. Now!"

It was a bark. A small squeak escaped me as it rang between the trees. Everything felt silent after it. Sesshoumaru-sama's eyes narrowed. "Fine. I gave you the chance. Your blood is not on my hands."

He attack without further warning. This time he did not approach slowly. He was there, and then suddenly he was in front of Kissaki, a flash of white and silver bringing down a sword. Kissaki raised the sword to stop him, but it was just as Sesshoumaru-sama had planned. He had fought against Tetsusaiga before, and knew of it's powers. Her arms raised and bearing the full weight of Sesshoumaru-sama's weapon, her sides were exposed. He delivered a swift kick to her side that knocked the wind from her, and knocked her into the dirt. She began coughing up blood. The kick had been strong enough to break a rib or two, surely!

Kaede was defenseless. He turned to her and lifted his sword for an execution. He was going to behead her! I finally found it in me to react. I lurched forward, reaching for my fan. It was strong! It might be able to stop the downward blow… but no. Not against all of Sessoumaru-sama's strength; not with all that inhuman power behind it! I dropped it in the dirt, slipping, and threw myself over Kaede's body, praying.

I felt the tip of the sword grave my cheek before he stopped it, as quick as his senses were. He would have had to cut my face in half to kill Kaede. That I felt only a tip of the sword meant he had been pulling back, incapable of stopping the sword helped down by gravity. I looked up at him through my ruined hair, noticing a few strands dancing away from me on a breeze. What broke my heart more was his expression.

His lips were parted, and his eyes were almost more bronze than gold. They were wide and beautiful, his lashes heavily contrasted against the paleness of his skin. He looked incredibly frightened, as if he thought that he had actually hurt me. Then it became hatred—but self-directed hatred! A moment later it was gone; he had pushed it back. "Rin, get away from her. This doesn't involve you."

"Yes, it does! I didn't tell you because I knew that you would react like this! She's just a little girl, Sesshoumaru-sama!"

"She's hardly just a 'little girl', Rin. When you were that age, you were already travelling around my lands in my name by yourself. She's an adult, and she needs to be held responsible."

"For what? For her birth?" I reported. "How can she be responsible for that?"

"Do not question me, Rin!" he barked.

"Please, Sesshoumaru-sama, spare her life! You don't really want to do this in your heart! She's family! There is some of your blood in her, and right now other than Hatsuhana and your mother, she's the only family you have!" I could feel tears of frustration coming to my eyes. "She's just a girl!"

"So was her mother, but that didn't stop her from shooting off my mother, or being involved in Inuyasha taking my arm."

"Why? Why can't you just be happy for your brother? He has a daughter! He has a family! The same way that your father had a family! You saved me, though I was human? Kaede makes no claim to be a demon! She doesn't want your thrown, and hides here among her family where her identity is safe! She only used the sword because our lives were in danger! If it hadn't been for that, then you would have never even known she was here, and nor would anybody else!"

Sesshoumaru-sama was starting to waver. I could see him becoming torn. His face was still smooth and beautiful, the traces of fire and anger gone, but it was in his eyes. They were suddenly very sad and guilty. "Don't do this to me, Rin."

It had the tone of a command, but it sounded pleading, too. I was using unfair tactics trying to get him to leave Kaede alone: his father, family, blood relations, and even trying to get him to think of Kaede was me. I kept challenging him, referring to back down. Normally when Sesshoumaru-sama's authority was challenged he could simply beat down the opposition, but he could not strike me. He had never done so, and that was what had saved me from being severed in two… yes. That was the weapon I had that was causing him so much harm! Love. I was using love against him. I was using his love for _me_ against him.

"You don't want to listen to me? Fine!" I was all out crying now, and still my assault was merciless. I was being cruel, using love against him, when I knew that he had always shied away for love for just such a reason, but I justified it. I was trying to save Kaede's life! I turned away from him. "If you want Kaede to die so much, you're going to have to kill me too!"

"Rin…"

"Do it, Sesshoumaru!" I think it was the first time that I had used his name without an honorarium attached to it. "If you want her to die so much, you're going to have to kill me too! Just remember that this time it'll be for good. You can't bring me back with Tenseiga this time!" He was hesitating. I lifted my head enough to glare at him, not daring to let go of Kaede to wipe the blood from my cheek. "What's the matter? Why the hesitation? You wanted her dead so much that you hurt Kissaki for it! It's because you don't really want to kill her!"

"She's a freak and an abomination," he growled.

"And she's the only link you have right now to your brother! How can you put away the fight you've always had with Inuyasha? You can't, just like you can't kill me. It's a part of you—_I'm_ a part of you."

"Fine!" He shoved the sword back in it's sheathe and turned away. I didn't move, and he spoke to me over his shoulder, though he hadn't looked at me. "You may move, Rin. I swear that I will not harm my niece."

I did stand up. I released Kaede, whom I realized had been shaking the whole time. She had just stared death in the face. It was understandable. She ran immediately to Kissaki to check on her without a glance at me. I felt more hurt by that than I had from the cut on my face. Sesshoumaru-sama's deep voice cut across the small space between us. "I want to talk to you, Rin."

Immediately my victory felt suddenly short. Had I been smiling, I know that it would have disappeared. I knew that I had fought dirty, that I had turned the thing that Sesshoumaru-sama feared the most against him, but I had hoped that he would accept that. I knew that one day there would be some kind of punishment for what I had done, but I had not expected it so soon, or that it would be so brutal.

My love for him, and his for me, had been my weapon, and so my love for him would be what he crushed.

I walked up to him slowly—gracefully, but nervously, too. I clasped my hands, trying to remain noble and non-aggressive. My eyes stayed on his feet; he remained facing away from me. "Yes, Sesshoumaru-sama?"

"You disobeyed me, Rin. You challenge me. You know that there will be some kind of a punishment for your disobedience." I nodded. He couldn't see me—I doubted he could see me—but he continued anyway. "I cannot have someone around me whom I cannot trust. You will no longer work for me, Rin. You will no longer be a member of my court."

I felt like I had been stabbed through the heart. For a moment I could not speak, and then it came blurting out of me: "Sesshoumaru-sama! That's…. that's… _please_! This is all I have ever known! Following you, working for you, is all I have ever wanted!"

"You will have a husband to care for you now, Rin. I _order_ you to marry my cousin."

"Sesshoumaru-sama!" I was crying now, pleading with him and sobbing. Tears streamed down my face, mingling with the blood on my cheek and the mud. Leaves clung to my hair. I hardly looked the part of a gentlewoman. "Please!"

"If you do not like it, Rin, you have a choice. Never come back to my court. The moment you do, you shall wed Hatsuhana. It is time for your childish fantasies to end. You are a woman, and you need a husband. He shall make certain that you shall never challenge my authority again." I tried reaching for him and drew back quickly. He still had not looked at me. "My mind is made up. You shall wed Hatsuhana."

He walked away from me. He turned and left me there, and walked away. I was hurt so deeply I could no longer stand. He was ordering me into the arms of another man! He knew I could not leave him. He knew I would not run from his court. Where would I have gone, even if I did? Sesshoumaru-sama was all I had ever known, and if being married to Hatsuhana was the only way I could see my lord, then so be it. I would marry Hatsuhana.

* * *

I stayed in the forest until he came for me. Hatsuhana's eyes were red from crying, though mine were worse. My knees were cold from sitting on the ground. He took me up into his arms gently, holding me close and looking at my face as best as he could. 

"He ordered me too, you know. I will only do it if you are going to follow him too. If you do not want to Rin, then we can run together. China, India, I can take you anywhere you would like to go… as my friend. I do not want an unwilling woman in my bed."

"No. I do like you, Hatsuhana. I would not be unwilling, but I _am_ marrying you because I was told to. I… I might have, on my own, though I fear I may value you more as my friend than a husband." My throat was dry and sore from crying. I could not recognize the sound of my own voice. I felt pathetic in his arms. I felt like an ugly, sullen, dirty weak little creature. The truth is, there is someone else I loved… I have loved him since I was a child, and I think I always will, though in your own way, I love you, too. I will marry you."

Hatsuhana held me with one strong arm, and touched my cheek with other, caressing away the dirt and dried tears on my face. "He should not have made you cry, Rin. I will never make you cry."

And I knew he meant it.

* * *

My dress would not be ready for some time, and so my fiancé and I avoided Sesshoumaru-sama by staying and rebuilding the village. He was excited, though he tried to hold it back in my presence. He really did like me, Hatsuhana. His eyes glowed with happiness in my presence: a small, shy smile constantly pulling at the corners of his mouth, and wrinkles in the corners of his eyes. I felt… I do not know what I really felt. I walked through actions like a ghost. I don't even remember trying on my wedding dress, or having my hair done… 

But I remember when I returned to the city to find out that Hikari was no longer helping me. There was a new girl in my room, who had a tendency to pull my hair and wrinkle my clothes. Nor was Hikari in the kitchen. She was now engaged—to Sesshoumaru-sama. He had asked her the day that he had returned from our fight in the woods. She was a good match for him, ruling the house with an iron fist and close to all the servants. She was beautiful and intelligent. She was graceful, and a full-blooded demon. She was also my closest friend at the castle. He was using her to hurt me more. By the time that I had returned to the castle, they had already been married.

And my flowers. There were all dead. No one had cared for them. Nothing was left of them but clumps of limp, brown material! I cried the hardest that my flowers were dead. He had _ordered_ people not to care for them! _Ordered_! I hated Sesshoumaru. I hated myself that I hated him. I hid in my room and I cried into my pillow. My skin became pale from lack of sunlight. I could not even bring myself to smile in the mirror—the fake, placid smile of a courtly woman. I could not smile.

When I told Hatsuhana about my flowers, he promised me that he would let me plant anything I wished when we were wedded. He promised me lilies, orchids, great flowering bushes, cherry trees and wild flowers. I knew he would be true to his word, but they would not be the same flowers. They would not be my tiger lilies. They would not be a shining example of the influence of a young girl on a man like Sesshoumaru-sama.

The dress was beautiful. It gave me a small amount of pride. On the morning that I was be married to Hatsuhana I found myself staring in the mirror, Hikari and the dressmaker at my side. Hikari was all smiles, without arrogance over now being Queen of the Western Lands. She did my hair, as she always did, and I thought I looked beautiful. My dress clung to my curves and hid where I had none. I doubt that a normal man would have realized that I was in my third decade of life when he saw me. It shimmered with a faint pattern when I moved and I was near tears when I saw the seamstress had woven the pattern of tiger lilies over my dress.

My dark hair was pulled up into a bun. Sticks and pieces of polished mother-of-pearl from the ocean kept everything in place. My lips were stained dark, and my eyes accentuated. I thought I looked beautiful. I was beautiful. That gave me pride. Sesshoumaru-sama was going to be there, and when I walked down the hallway, I would make him regret that he had ever ordered me to marry Hatsuhana, or that he had killed my beautiful flowers.

I walked down the hallway. We were being wedded outside. Hatsuhana looked perfectly splendid in a dark green and brown outfit, his hair brushed until it shone and pulled back into a tight braid. Sesshoumaru-sama stood by his side. They looked like the embodiment of spring and winter standing side by side.

I don't remember much of the ceremony. I remember looking at Sesshoumaru-sama once and he was avoiding my gaze. He was making a point not to look at me. I felt filled with shame that I would ever have thought to flaunt myself to him, to make him jealous and regretful, or to use Hatsuhana against him. It was immoral, and besides, they were _family_.

Only one time did he look in my direction, or at his cousin. We were told to kiss to cement the marriage. He looked at us then. He looked as he normally did, but I could see the familiar flash of red on his eyes and the tightening at the corners of his mouth. The kiss was soft and appropriate, and though he kept his anger checked so that not even his wife beside him noticed it, he did not like it.

_So why then?_ _Why did you ever order me to do this? If you thought I was too close, then marry, and leave me alone, but instead you wanted the connection between us to be broken. Now you have shattered it. Why? Why, Sesshoumaru-sama?_

There was a banquet after that. Sesshoumaru-sama had arranged it. He spared no expense. He paid for my dress, the wedding, the food, the wine… wine that Hatsuhana and some of the others had liberally. I remained quiet, taking small bites for an unsettled stomach. Women had been joking about the wedding night. I had not thought of that before, for some reason. I was going to have to be naked. I was going to have to… to…

It made me almost sick to my stomach. If the women wanted Hatsuhana so much, then they could take my place! I was nervous, and scared. Now and then Hatsushana seemed to sense my nervousness, and he would reach out to touch my hand encouragingly, or entice me to eat my supper with jokes and a lighthearted tone. I could tell that he was thinking of it too. His hazel eyes were bright, his smile humanly broad, and he did touch me often—brushed my arm as he reached for a cup, or touching my shoulder when he spoke of me.

In reflection, I feel badly for Hatsuhana. He did love me. He was so excited. I imagine that it would be like a child celebrating a birthday or knowing he was going to kiss a girl for the first time. He did not seem nervous, and I know that it was because he had had women before. All he wanted was to make me happy, but when he slid my hand into mine in the dark, I could have screamed with fright.

I was glad that he had blown out the candle. I could pretend that it wasn't him, but I knew that even in the darkness, there was a faint glow to my lord—to his hair, and the gold of his eyes—as if he were some ghost. His smell was different—he smelled of pine. His taste was different—it was not quite so potent as my lord's. Parts of it were enjoyable—I liked the kissing—but whenever he moved I froze. Finally, he gave up and left the bed to relight the candles. Hatsuhana sat naked on the bed. He was so pretty that I felt foolish that I had ever avoided him. I was sane enough to know that the women who eyed him were right.

"I can't do this, Rin. Other men might be able to, but I won't force myself on you just to finish cementing our marriage. You were quite right, Rin. I would not give a woman my child when I mean to travel. I was thinking that perhaps we could go travelling at the end of the season. It seems to me that you could use a change of scenery."

"We can't go now," I said quietly. "We can't leave when there's a war brewing."

"Do you really think that this will all last the season?" he asked, lifting an eyebrow. When I nodded he whistled lowly and leaned back on our futon, hands behind his head. "I value your words and insight, Rin. You know that. In this matter, though, I hope that you turn out to be incorrect."

I sat up beside him, holding the blankets to me so that he could not see me naked. I could feel my face paint running from my sudden tears at seeing him, his hair unbound and pooled around his neck. "I'm sorry, Hatsuhana. We can try again. I don't mind. I will try not to be so nervous, but I have never done…. done _anything_ like this before. Until the beginning of this season, I had not even been kissed before."

He reached up to touch my cheek, his fingers trailing the curve of my ear as he dried the streaks of black from my face. "But, darling Rin, some women do not even have that. They have their first kiss on the same night that they would lose their maidenhead. That is a woman's role and place in human society." From my silence he could only assume that I was not pleased by his comment. He sighed and took the edge of my protective blanket between his fingers. There was not a trace of the demon, or even the man in him. He seemed only as a _person_, as my friend, when he asked if he could lower it.

He did lower it, but only a margin. He kissed my skin, his long hair tickling me. He lowered it again, and kissed again. He worked his way back up when he felt that I was becoming tense again. Somehow, it was better doing this with the candles lit. My lord would not have been so gentle, or so slow. When he wanted something he could become irrational, but not his cousin.

But still we did not consummate our marriage. I was yet too skittish, and my husband—how unfamiliar that word, and yet such a natural word for describing Hatsuahana—loved me too much to force himself upon me. He was gentle and caring, and all the things that Sesshoumaru-sama would not have been in a marriage bed. He did not even ask for me to touch or kiss him back, but that much I could do. He was comfortable in his naked body in a way that I do not understand, but then, that is not his real body, now is it?

In the end, he held me in his arms, and I felt…. Wonderful. I think that he could feel me smiling. His arms tightened around me, his breath trailing down my back before he kissed me. "What is it?"

"I feel good," I told him, snuggling against him. It felt so natural.

"Do you know what that is?"

"No."

I could feel his cheeks move as he smiled. He tucked the blankets around us. I wasn't even ashamed that under them I was naked, or that was my hair was undone and mingling with his. "I am happy, and you are happy because we share a happiness. That it is what married couples feel, Rin. And more so, you are human, and I not. This is the old relationship of which I spoke, Rin. We were made for protecting you, for being this close to you. We are all wild on the surface, but deep down, a kind nature such as yours keeps us humble, and close. Your innocence and immediacy in the world makes us cherish you. Your fragility makes us protect you. Your powerlessness makes us painfully aware of our own and teaches us to be gentle. You complete us. We would be nothing without a purpose, and you give us purpose. This is the way all of us, demon and human alike Rin, were made to perfect one another."

I slept well that night, feeling safe and sound in my bed, Hatsuhana beside me.

* * *

_Sesshoumaru-sama speaks..._

_Rin has been wedded. My wife sleeps in my bed after our celebratory coitus. She is happy for her friend, and I for my cousin. Rin will make him a good wife. My own wife has already made it clear to me that the first order of business is to produce an heir. I cannot say that I am saddened by it. It has been long since I felt the touch of a woman... And yet I am nervous with Hakiri. I wonder if I am performing to my role. I enjoy sex, and as beautiful as she is, my wife stirs little in me. The urges I have are not for her. They are for the faint scent of flowers, the softness of human skin, and the faint laughter of a shy woman. Even just thinking of her makes me want to turn back to Hikari and wake her to resume our love-making... as if that could stop such feelings._

_While Hikari sleeps I pull on my robes and slip into my study. I sit at my desk and open a drawer. Inside is a bit of cloth, and carefully pressed in that is a tiger lily. One of Rin's tiger lilies. I took it before they all died. I regret having made the choice. It was made in anger. Forcing, manipulating Rin to marry my cousin was enough to sever our romantic connection, but destroying her flowers broke some of her spirit. I can see it, I can smell it when she is near. When she was younger and new what I was, she did not understand. When she was older and understood, she knew who I was, and still beleived I would never hurt her._

_By now my cousin is no doubt satiated with Rin. He has taken her maidenhead in a proper marriage, though only the three of us know that, and possibly my all-seeing wife. The last of her bodily innocence is gone now. She has killed, she has bled for me, she has had women's flows and has had her barriers breached. Yet it was I who broke her. It was I that took away the innocence that never she have been touched. I hurt her. I took her flowers. I broke her trust in me. I broke her faith in me. Al the pain from which I had tried to protect her, I caused in her purposely. _

_There is a faint smell to the flower still. It reminds me of Rin, and it almost makes my eyes water. Yes, it is that painful; painful enough to make a male, a warlord, and a demon cry. It is painful because I can feel how much I want her still, even knowing that she has been taken by cousin, even knowing that she is a married woman, even knowing that the humans call her old, or that she hates me, I want her. I want her so much it is painful. I want her so much that my body is not satiated by own wife. _

_Yes, I broke that romantic connection by crushing her flowers and giving her to my cousin, and taking her friend for my wife. There is no longer a romantic connection between us... but the _lust_... that still remains. Rin, the only woman whom I could not have, and the woman that would have been the most willing to any of my advances. I want her still. I have, I think, wanted her since the first time she touched me, though not in the same way I want her now that she is mature. The only woman whom touched me in that way. The only human to brave to cry out if I touched her too roughly. The only woman patient enough to teach me to be gentle. The only human who could look out me in utter adoration. The only human who would help me when I was injured. _

_Gods above... how deeply did I hurt her to make her cry out after me? To beg? To plead for me to change my mind?_

_I think of her tears and my hunger only grows in my anger. Part of me is infatuated by images of taking her roughly, excusing my violence with knowing that she is willing. The other part of me wishes to make her cry tears of joy instead of pain, to show her all that her body can do, to give her what she always never asked for and always wanted, to make her cry with all the pretty flowers in the world and never let another tear of sadness fall from her cheek. I wish I kad kissed her tears away. I wish I had touched them away, and in my instinct, I wish I had licked them from her cheek even if I had to demean myself into the body of a lapdog for the rest of my years if I had known that it would make them stop._

_I tell you now: the romantic connection to us is gone. I still feel it, but I can control it as I have always done._

_But the lust that frustrates me, the yearning for her body, the intensity of the thought of having her all, the knowledge of the power I have over her, the violence of taking her, the taste in the air around her, the smell of her, all the ideas that have been plaguing my mind since she was old enough that I would even _consider_ having sex with her... it has been grading on my mind and my body for too long. Too many times have I awoken to thoughts of her, to feel myself harden at her scent in the hallway, or my hands ache to touch her. The lust can never be stopped, and now... now there is no longer a romantic love to keep it in check._

_My cousin? Marriage? My lust knows not such words or concepts. It knows only what it wants. And it has only ever wanted Rin._

_My wife stirs in the other room. I put the tiger lily away. I am hardened again from my fantasies at the scent of the tiger lily, and I go to my wife, ready this time to pretend as if it is truly she that as caused him. I hate myself. I am ruining two beautiful women, not just one, and yet I do not pity my wife. I pity only Rin._

* * *

To be continued... 


	13. Chapter 13

**13**

Hatsuhana and I were given a day to ourselves before Sesshoumaru-sama asked to see us. It was regarding the attack on the village. He asked about what had been said, how the attack happened, and then dismissed me. He continued to stay to talk to Hatsuhana.

"You took back, _cousin_, the _kitsune_ known as Shippo and left Rin there by herself?"

My new husband could hear the growl of anger in Sesshoumaru-sama's voice. My lord was insulted and mad, though he continued to appear calm. Hatsuhana met his glare levelly. His voice was also calm, but then he was actually so. "I hardly left her alone, Sesshoumaru. I left her there with Kaede and Kissaki. Both of them have been trained by the demon slayers to handle weapons, as has Rin herself. I would never leave her somewhere alone." He paused for dramatic effect. "Not like what I hear you did before she could defend herself. Alone with Jaken? _Jaken?_"

Sesshoumaru-sama knew better than to let himself be goaded into a fight, but he found himself answering before he could even think about what to say. His shoulders rose and he straightened in height. "I never left her for long, or for very far. My presence and scent alone was enough to keep weak demons away."

"Maybe, but that certainly didn't keep Kohaku away, now did it?"

He suddenly remembered finding my unconscious body hovered over by Kohaku—though at the time it was not-Kohaku, taken over by Naraku or one of his many monstrous children. He had been earnestly concerned and worried about me. I wish I could remember the few times he held me in his arm after that, but I could not… but he could, and that was what came next to his mind: all the times he had watched me, waiting for me to wake up, holding me, wondering if I was hurt, or if I was too scared to come back to him, thinking it was his negligence that had caused me injury. Then, after Kohaku's true self had returned, he had hoped secretly that Kohaku would take me away, but we remained no more than friends; the best of friends.

"Why do you think I trained her, cousin? _I_ trained her. _Sesshoumaru-sama_ trained her. My advisors told me I was insane and that such an act would lead to my death. They thought it was foolish that I taught Rin to fight, and that I did it myself rather than delegating it to someone else. I trained her so that I wouldn't have to worry about her, but I do. I will admit that. That is why I always try to get her to take some other demon with her when she goes away. And even if I do send her off somewhere alone, the point is that _I_ made that choice. Her _lord_ made that choice, not some demon who at the time was no more than some… fawning and doting political miscreant!"

"Political miscreant?" Hatsuahana's calm demeanor was quickly vanishing. "I left for _you,_ cousin! I left so that you wouldn't have to worry about me being a threat to your power, to your father's lands!"

"You left because you were a failure."

Hatsushana felt as if he had been cut. He rose gracefully from his spot, but it was the restrained kind of grace. He wanted nothing more than to start a fist fight. He believed that he and Sesshoumaru were evenly matched, but decorum held him back. His back was gracefully arched, his shoulders square, because he was getting ready to throw a fist at my lord.

"If you're that worried about Rin, if you thought me that much of a failure, then _you_ should have married her, Sesshoumaru. Don't take your anger out on me just because you allowed some stupid, false ideal to keep you from marrying. You gave her to me, and I'm keeping her." Hatsuhana could hear the low growling in the room, but he ignored it. "She's mine now."

"Do you expect to goad me into a fight, Hatsuhana? I am married."

"Yes, and Hikari is a fine political marriage for you, but you don't love her. You love Rin. I know that, and I think that once upon a time she knew it too. It's sad that her love made you bring her back from the dead, to live alongside you, to be a part of your new empire, and yet the three words that she wanted to hear from you she never received. She could make you move mountains for her with no more than a tear or a gentle plea, and yet not speak to her. I warn you now, Sesshoumaru-sama, that you never will say those words to her. You never will have her. She's my _wife_ now. You arranged that yourself."

"You know the laws as well as I. If she were willing, it would be fair game…"

His hands slammed down on the desk and he leaned over to stare at him—hazel eyes to gold eyes. "And I know her psyche and so do you. You will not use her or our marriage to play the political field. I will not let you break my wife. Is that understood?"

Then something strange happen; something that made Hatsuhana wonder if he had been manipulated into saying that. Sesshoumaru gave in. Even in his childhood memories Hatsuhana could not recall Sesshoumaru-sama ever giving in so easily. Even had he been in a headlock and alone and fighting over something silly, Sesshouamru-sama had been too stubborn to give in. Hatsuhana left feeling in a fog.

He had been manipulated, of course. Sesshoumaru-sama had needed to hear that. He needed to hear that I was off limits and someone's wife. He found that it took the edge of off, and the rather than focus on me, he was too busy physically and mentally preparing himself for a fight. He loved Hatsuhana. He loved his cousin, and he couldn't hurt him. He had just needed someone to remind him that I was unavailable.

* * *

"Why am I doing this again?" Hatsuhana asked. The sword looked beautiful in his hands—the sword itself was beautiful—but his whole stance was wrong. He looked uncomfortable and reserved as I finished limbering up. 

"I told you. Sesshoumaru-sama refuses to fight with me anymore. I don't want to lose my skills, and I can't accept Hikari's offer." I paused for a moment, and shrugged when he gave me a look that urged me to continue. "She really is happy to be married. She wants to produce an heir for Sesshoumaru-sama has soon as possible. I cannot ask a woman whose trying to become pregnant to practice fighting with me, and especially not when she is Sesshoumaru-sama's wife. All I need is to have all the demons breathing down my neck because I bruised their new queen."

He nodded understandingly and lifted the sword with a frown. "Do we really need to use really real weapons, Rin?"

I lifted my own sword. I wanted to use a heavier weapon today, and then move on to the fan. After practicing with the much heavier sword the fan seemed so light it was almost invisible when it moved… or at least to my eyes. Sesshoumaru-sama had never told me it fast it appeared to demon eyes. I also longed for the familiar ache in my shoulders from practicing.

"I've been using real weapons against Sesshoumaru-sama since before I had my woman's flows. You're fast enough to stop from hurting me, and I am hardly a stranger to cuts and bruises, Hatsuhana. A frail woman could never survive working with demons, or the roads of Nippon. I also," I added after a moment, "wanted to fight you because you're like my lord. I'm used to fighting someone taller and stronger than I am."

My husband studied me and I felt myself flush under the gaze, though one could hardly have called the expression perverse, or even intimate. My mind was perverse. Though we had been wedded a week, we still had not consummated the marriage, but I was learning how to please him. I did please him, I know it. I felt young and beautiful when he stared at me in our bed, and I felt like playing. I knew that soon I would be more than willing to offer him all of me.

"You know, you're rather tall for a human girl, Rin. You're hardly a small girl… merely… petite."

I nodded. "I use that to my advantage. Are you ready?"

"Shall I attack or defend first?"

With a smile, I said, "Whichever you would like," and then I attacked.

I launched myself forward in a lunge. The sword pulled at my arm. Hatsuhana was taken aback, but reacted swiftly and smoothly. He stepped back with a look of respect on his face, and attacked back. I might not, as he had pointed out, be short, but I was lithe and I darted under his attack and launched a counter attack, forcing him to step back and to block my swing. When I had to block his next attack the force behind his next strike made me grit my teeth as it made my sword arm ache. He noticed and eased off—but eased off too far. I actually pushed his arm away.

"You don't have to go easy on me. An enemy wouldn't go easy on me."

I felt like a petulant child. I think he recognized that because he frowned at me. "Too bad I'm your husband and not your enemy, Rin."

My next attack caught him off guard again. We parried back and forth, and I was becoming dizzy. His steps were large and he made sure to step into his attacks, forcing me to move. Now and then I had to duck under an attack again to change directions. I was too small and weak to force someone of his stature back, though I did try. Because of my dizziness I slipped up. He saw an opening to disarm me and took it. His sword struck my wrist and I yelped, dropping the cumbersome thing and gripping my sore wrist. His sword came to rest on my shoulder beside my neck. Had he been my enemy he could have beheaded me with hardly a thought.

"I guess you aren't as good as you thought you were, Rin." I think he was teasing me. I knew I wasn't perfect, and I had human deficiencies to counter when fighting demons, but I was good. I looked up at him to see his dark hair clinging to his cheeks and forehead. His face was flushed and there was a thin sheen of sweat on his exposed skin.

I wasn't about to let him flaunt his victory. I was furious with him. With the sword gone, I was fast—faster than he expected me to be, and as always I had my hairpin on me. I ducked under his sword and felt something scratch me in the process, but I didn't care. I think I was driven by bloodlust. He thought that my desire to use a sword was cute, and he used humor to keep from seeing how true it was to me. I grabbed his long hair by the roots and pulled him to his knees, my momentum causing us both to fall back—he on the ground and me with my knee in his chest, my hand in his hair and my hairpin hovering over his eye.

Hatsuhana gulped. He struggled to laugh as I let him up. "Okay… so better than I thought you were a moment ago. Speedy little demon, aren't you?"

"That's why I practice with heavy weapons. After holding a sword like that for even ten minutes, my smaller weapons feel so much lighter." I put my sword away and drew my fan. I felt warmed up, and I knew now that he would not be making light of our classes. I turned and motioned for him to pick up his sword again. "That was a pleasant warm up round. Now on to the practice round."

* * *

It was shortly after that we were both called to an emergency meeting. The foreigners had struck again. Some of the survivors, those who had brought the news to Sesshoumaru-sama, were staying in the castle until they recuperated. Others had made it—I paled when I heard the news—to Kouga and Ayame in the nearby mountains for safety. 

Kohaku-kun. Kohaku's village had been invaded and burned to the ground. I had to wonder, were my friends part of it? Had Kohaku been there? Had his wife been there? Were they still alive? The survivors had reported that half of the village had been killed, or injured so badly those fleeing the city had been forced to leave them or die with them.

"They were out in full force, undisguised," Sesshoumaru-sama reported. "They no longer pretend to be humans. I think it has become a full-flooded invasion. The survivors report that the day before the strangers had come to the city and had been inquisitive, and then the following day they attacked during the night, when they could sneak in and kill people in their sleep." He set down the report and folded his hands, looking at his advisors—Hikari among them. "Only two of us present have fought these strangers. Sesshoumaru-sama has heard their reports. We are at war."

Whispers went through the crowd, and yet none of them were surprised. Most of them looked eager to have a chance to taste blood after the peace we'd had for the past few years. Yet Hatsuhana lifted his hand to cover one of mine, and Hikari I think made the same motion for Sesshoumaru-sama. They had the most to lose in the war.

"We will begin preparing counter attacks immediately. Prepare your followers for battle. We will begin by fortifying this city and making it a suitable safe haven for any who need it, demon and human alike. Their numbers have grown because they have recruited normal men from our country. We will play using their own tactics against them. That is why I need you, Rin. Take my cousin and leave immediately. I have prepared a list of whom you need to contact and what you need from them. Head first to the demon slayers. We will need them in this battle."

Hatsuhana squeezed my hand as I took the scroll offered to me by my lord with my other. I clung to my instructions tightly and dared to meet his eyes in the crowd. I felt my heart flutter and swell again—how I loved this man who didn't treat my childishly when we fought, and who had told all at the table who had heard about our fight that he in fact needed me. He needed me. I was his human side. Yes, Hikari was a wonderful match for him, for it was she who connected him to the normal demons and who ran a house the way I never could, but I was his human face.

"I will do as you ask, Sesshoumaru-sama."

But it was too late to leave. We had to wait for the morning. That night, we tried once again to make love. I thought of him as I had seen him as we had fought that afternoon, with his face flushed and human-looking, and his pretty eyes wide, but not matter how much he stroked my body, his callused fingers fur-soft over my ribs or hips, and no matter how much I kissed him, his body remained uninterested.

When he grew too tired to continue he curled up around me on our futon, his hands still caressing me the way I had seen Sango and Arashi stroke Kirara absentmindedly. That was when he told me about the fight that he had had with Sesshoumaru-sama. In the slight darkness I could see that his face was pale when he turned to me.

"You knew, didn't you? You knew that he cared for you."

I frowned. "I knew that he cared for me, but not the way your voice seems to imply it. I do not think that he ever loved me."

"But you loved him back?" His tone was half-inquisitive and half-accusative.

I narrowed my eyes, but I saw that he looked earnestly concerned and so I rolled over completely to wrap my arms around him and hold him. I stroked his beautiful, thick hair and held him so close that the bridge of his nose brushed my chin. "Hatsuhana, I do love Sesshoumaru-sama. Please understand. My parents died when I was young. I have no memory of them, and few memories of the villagers in my home, but enough to know that they treated me badly. I was a thief, stealing to live. Your cousin was the first person to treat me gently, and more than that, he saved my life. Maybe being around him put my life in danger, but he always there to save me in the end. He gave me a family, guidance, an education… How can I not love him?"

"But… Rin, are you—or were you—in love with him?"

I smiled and lifted his head, my hands gently cupping his chin. "Husband, your cousin is beautiful, and though the roots of my hair may be greyer now, and my eyesight not quite so good, I was once a twelve year old who realized that most of the other girls her age were wedded or betrothed. When I became interested in boys, do you think that I would be so blind as to pass over the only person other than Kohaku-kun that ever showed me a shred of kindness before you entered my life?"

My answer sufficed him and he kissed me deeply, though still slightly removed, but I had not really answered his question. I had admitted that I had been attracted to Sesshoumaru-sama, but not that I was still attracted to him.

That night, even with his arms around me, I did not sleep well.

We left bright and early the following morning. We left just the two of us. The sun was so low it seemed to still be contemplating whether or not to rise that morning, and the mist was so thick that it clung to the branches of the trees and slowly rose like a blossoming cloud past their tips. Hatsuhana changed in front of me and lowered himself so that I could climb to his shoulders and sit there as we travelled. He did not travel as quickly as Sesshoumaru-sama, nor was he that large, but we still made it to the village by dawn's completion.

When we arrived at the village we went right to the temple. Arashi was already up. She was sitting in the small living quarters having tea and a small bowl of rice with the monk known as Tetsuya. Both of them seemed to be worried, not by our presence, but by something else. I did not know at the time that it was because Arashi-sama was still having trouble with her powers returning to full power. No, Hatsuhana and I were welcomed and offered some rice, which we declined, and greeted like friends or family.

I explained the situation to them, and she sent Shippo (who was never far from her lately and recovering splendidly—not so much as a bruise on him) to fetch the leaders of the _taijiyas_. Once again we explained everything, and they were eager to help, but they could not spare as many men as Sesshoumaru-sama wished. When I inquired as to why, it was Shippo-kun who answered for them. He was perched on Arashi-sama's knee, now so tall that he seemed to be leaning against it. His green eyes were too old for such a young thing.

"This is their home. All of use heard stories of what happened to the last demon slayer's village. Kirara and I were even there to see the carnage first hand. We won't let ourselves be caught unguarded. This is our home. Without it, we're nothing but hired mercenaries or fighters. It is our home that makes us family. We can spare half the numbers you need, Rin. You saw their numbers. We need to leave enough to defend our home and our children and the other villagers."

The human in me, the rational part of me, the woman in me, call it whatever part of me you would, knew that they were correct. I could sway them, but I could not dream of pressing the issue. They had a right to protect their culture, and this time there might not be someone with Sango's determination and Miroku's understanding to work diligently at preserving it. The part of me, however, which knew I had to report back to my lord and tell him of their answer, was slightly more mollified at the idea.

We could not dally in the village, though I normally would have liked to do so. We had to continue and gather more fighters from other towns. They promised that they would begin to mobilize their troops and prepare for battle, as well as sending what reserve food they could spare, with some linens and medicinal supplies, to the castle for the refugees which would eventually be arriving.

I stayed long enough to be pulled aside by Kissaki-san. Her face was still pinched with worry, but it eased for me—I think it was the first time she had ever lost the fierce face she normally wore around me. "I assume that by now you heard about my home village? No, Rin. I'm not upset. This is my home now, not there. I wanted to let you know that my parents are both unhurt. They were on their way here at the time of the attack."

She sighed regretfully. "When you told me that you had gotten in contact with my parents and gotten them involved with this thing against Ses… for my cousin, I thought that you'd done wrong—but in the end, I guess I have you to thank for my parents being unhurt. If you hadn't gotten my mother involved, she wouldn't have been on her way here delivering supplies. So, I just wanted to say… thank you. Thank you, Rin."

I was deeply touched. Her words could not have been more sincere. I touched her shoulder gently, as an aunt would touch a child that had suddenly become a true and valued family member. I knew, without a doubt, that if I could not live in Sesshoumaru's village, I would live here, in this strange place where my knowledge of how demons lived would be an asset and not something to be feared. I would never, I knew, really travel to distant countries and see men who rode horses asleep or the long-nosed and tusked elephants.

"Thank you, Kissaki-sama."

We left and travelled hard and fast to the next village, but we had to stop for the night. Hatsuhana was strong enough to go on, but I would surely fall off if I became too tired. I directed us to a small bit of shelter in a small overhang of rock close to a hot water source and stopped for the night. I had used it before, due to that hot spring. He caught some rabbits while I made a small fire and unrolled some blankets for us—we expected to be on the road a long time and I was not about to be caught without supplies. When the armies began to march, food and supplies would disappear soon enough.

The two of us ate well. With our stomachs full we huddled together and watched the fire. After a long silence, he apologized for his jealousy the other day. I told him that he had nothing for which to apologize. If that was his idea of jealousy, it would be an easy marriage. I was held against his chest, and his fingers gently touched my neck, through wisps of my hair. I remember the way that Tetsuya eyed Arashi and her high hair style, and loosely wondered if he wished to touch her like this. It felt good. I strained my neck closer, arching it to allow him to touch more. His fingers were replaced with his mouth and lips and I was not afraid. I had learned I liked having my neck kissed. It was faintly ticklish, and I even liked it when he opened that wide mouth, that wide mouth which could have eaten me whole, and he merely teased me by biting me gently.

I moaned a little and tried to turn to him, but his hands held my shoulder steady as his lips continued to move up and down my neck, biting her and there. It seemed as if a great rich rumbling, some strange combination of purr and growl, came from his chest, the power of it stilling my moans before they could leave me. It was almost frightening, and it made me feel cold and warm all at once.

His hands roamed over my chest, squeezing my breasts and up my throat to my chin to run over my lips. I kissed them when they came within reach, and at my touch his kisses flinched and then his grip on me tightened. I lifted my hands to his, holding him with all my small might, and wrapped my lips around his fingers only to hear him hiss and then moan, and despite such sounds he asked me to continue.

The whole time I played with that large hands, my own hands feeling so small and childlike in comparison, his other hand undressed mine, until I was shivering and almost completely naked, my lips darkened and bruised from playing with his fingers. I could feel his… I could feel him. I knew what it felt like, hard. It was stiff, not hard. It was still malleable and pliant, as if warmth would melt its metal core to mould itself into whatever shape I might desire.

I was thankful for that knowledge as he lay claim to me. His body covered mine and I tried to squirm when first I felt his touch. His hair pooled around me, completing the rocky overlip's cave, and he kissed me and calmed me, and looked at me with such pleading and sadness and want that I knew I would be brave for him. I was a married woman, and over my shyness now, yet still when I felt him touch me intimately, there was some part of me that was yet afraid.

And then there was a push and nothing. There was no pain, or even pressure—only his breath that still smelled faintly of rabbit and his shoulders smelling like the forest, and his heavy panting, his grip tight on my shoulders to keep himself from moving. He licked my face as a dog licks his master's, and yet it was almost more natural to us than a kiss. His tongue was surprisingly dry and precise. "No pain, Rin?"

I shook my head no. I could not speak. His smile took me breath away, as did my confusion. I had thought—from what I had heard—from what others had said—wasn't it supposed to hurt?

He must have seen the confusion on my face. He glanced away, blushing, and distracted himself by cupping my breast and licking the nipple into a tight peak as I tried to keep from squirming under him. "I am not completely hard," he admitted.

"Oh." I did not know what to say. It had looked fully grown. Did it get bigger?

Hatsuhana glanced up and saw I did not understand. "I have had intercourse before, Rin. You know that I don't have a problem… but this is the first time that I have been intercourse with my wife. You see the difference?" When I shook my head no he chuckled—I love his deep-throated chuckle that made me feel young and naïve all over again—and kissed the tip of my nose. "No, you couldn't, could you, Rin?"

And then he began to move—to pull in and out of me. I tilted my head back, enjoying and lost in this new sensation. It was… it was indescribable. I knew, from overhearing the conversation of others, that many women believed what made intercourse enjoyable was size—size of what, I do not think it mattered—but it's not that. What makes intercourse amazing was that wonderful feeling of our bodied meeting, again and again. I was crying in joy; I was crying _out_ in joy. I was so lost, drowning in sensation, that when he was fully erect, I barely noticed, but I did notice his increase in speed.

When I cried out, spent, so did he. It was wonderfully timed. He curled me up in his arms and dusted me off before the last of his energy left him. Then, like a dog, he carried me to bed and slowly licked and kissed me—my neck, my arms, my hair—until he fell asleep.

I felt good. I felt whole. I felt contented… and sore and dirty and suddenly so very lonely with Hatsuhana asleep. I felt empty. I felt emotionally empty. That one thing, that _one_ thing, I had yet been protecting and savouring. Maybe I did have these fanciful daydreams that Sesshoumaru-sama would enter my bedroom and make love to me because he had realized he could not stand to see me in the arms of another. I thought of how proud I had been, being a virgin still. I had protected it and guarded it and treasured it, as a woman should, and maybe all women lose it eventually, and I had given it away willingly, in marriage, but I was left with nothing to protect. What had I now? Where was my pride now?

I decided to sneak away from my husband and take a bath and clean myself off. As I waded into the inky-black waters, the night sky above me and the familiar outdoor noises of the night there to guide me back to shore, I realized that his seed was in me. I had used no protection. I was filled with sudden terror, not due to my sudden status as a woman in a consummated marriage, but for my own life. What if I were to become pregnant from it? What if I were to be pregnant at my age?

With tears in my eye I scrubbed. I scrubbed everywhere has hard as I could reach, now and then lowering myself into the water to hide my sobs of terror and fear. Was I pregnant? I had been told all it took was once, but I did not want to _be_ pregnant! I did not want a child! I could not afford a child!

Finally, I was too tired to cry. I floated and I prayed, but not for along. Sometime ago, while I was crying and scrubbing myself clean with small white rocks I had found ashore, the bugs had stopped their chirpings. There were no cicadas, nor grasshoppers, nor small restless birds or splashes from fish in the pond gathering bugs from the surface. I let myself sink into the pond to hide, ready to come out when the cicadas would return, but something bit me. I lifted my hand and felt a slender needle, ends with tufts of feathers, in my neck.

The starry night sky above me was turning black—as dark as the waters surrounding me.

As I sank into it, into the wells of ink, I heard splashing from ashore coming towards me.

"Quick! Don't let her drown!"

"You got her in the first shot! Well done!"

"Where is she? Where… there!" Hands supported me—hands without bodies or fingers, pulling at my shoulders. The voice was slightly sibilant, with long hisses accentuating the s's. "She doesn't look as old as he said she was, all naked like this. Wonder what happened to her that made her want to scrape herself up like this?" Something long, wet, and sticky warm against my upper breast. I could not raise a scream in my throat or rouse my hands to fight, though I could feel it all happen to me. "She tastes like sex. Best get outta here before her husband wakes up."

"Are you sure? We could take care of him too. If it was he that's fucked her, he'll be too tired or drowsy to do much. One prick of a stronger dose of that poison and he can never wake up again. A milder portion and he can be catatonic all his days—mind's home and no body to move."

_Oh, gods above, don't do that. Don't do that to him, please!_

"No," said the one with the sibilant voice, the one carrying me out of the lake over his shoulder. "He wants his friend there to suffer. That's why we're taking the wife. Says he's going to give her to us as a trophy when we get the chance to kill him—we'll take her under his severed head, we will. And when we're done with her, they say the Portugese priests want to turn them from their tree an' rock worshppin', so we can turn her over to them when we're bored a' her. She's too old to be much good anyway."

Luckily, anything else they said about what they were going to do to me was lost as the poison claimed me over completely.

* * *

To be continued... 

AN: I apoligize for taking so long to get the new chapter out, and that it wasn't as long as the other, and for the cliffhanger. I am already starting to plan the next chapter, and have lots of ideas, but I'm also still really busy with work. Hope to find time to work on it soon!


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

I have been knocked unconscious before, but when I think about it, I used to wake up because I felt safe and warm. In this case, I began to wake up because I was cold. The first thing I was aware of, before the dirty floor, or the heavy weight of chains that shackled by hands and wrists, was the cold in my fingertips and feet.

I took stock of my surroundings when I woke up. I was laying on a dirt floor in a poorly constructed hut. Now I knew why they had chained me, for it would have been easy to kick a hole in the wall and run, but not with these chains. There was a foul-smelling pot in one corner of the hut to serve as a washroom. It was a foul, decrepit hut, but I have seen worse.

What concerned me most was, when I looked down, I had been dressed. Perhaps I would have been more upset if I had still been naked, but the idea of someone getting close to me while I was unconscious was most upsetting. If I had felt dirty before from knowing that my husband and I had had intercourse, then this was something beyond the soiling of my body. This was the soiling of my mind and soul. I was already beginning to think of the way that they could have violated me! What else had they done to me while I was unconscious?

Tears of frustration came to me, and I felt too weak to fight them back. I began to cry. I sobbed. I _wailed_! What had they done to me!?

And then, just to make the situation worse, just to add to my misery, I reached up to grab my hair in frustration. At my shoulders, my hands reached nothing. They groped for something—anything!—and encountered only air. My hair! My hair, which Hatsuhana had loved to stroke and which Sesshoumaru-sama had even dared to touch; my hair which Hikari had so lovingly done up for me in a bun—it was gone! They had shaved me! They had taken my hair from me!

It seems silly. Hair. It is so inconsequential. Hair grows. And yet it was the breaking point for me. It had confirmed my worse fears—they _had_ violated me. They had taken something from me. If I had not felt them cut off my hair, hacking it away in great chunks so that only fleshy stubs of my roots remained, what else had they done? I feared that even if my beloved Sesshoumaru-sama saw me, or my own sweet husband, they would not recognize me.

I caved in on myself. Fear kept me locked. When shadows moved between the walls of my rickety hut, or loud noises of male voices from the yard around me, I shivered and jumped in fear. I remained gripped in fear, waiting for my keepers to break in at any moment. I heard drunken parties at night, when the shadows of the men danced along my dirt floor and the air was full of their raucous songs. I heard preparations for war. I heard women—women laughing and cheering and joining in with the men in the bawdy songs, and some of them screaming.

By the third day I thought I would go mad, but in that time I felt my resolve harden again. I found myself again in the time that they had given me. They sought, no doubt, to starve me into compliance and talking, for I was given no bread nor water for those three days I was there. Had somebody come into that hut, I would have nearly died in fright. They should have come in and taken advantage of my disorientation and fear. Instead I was given the time to think and plan.

I doubt that I could have broken out. The chains prevented that. However, I knew that if I were patient, there would be a second—just a half a second!—where my captives would leave me unbound and unguarded, and then I would bolt. I needed to wait for that second. I needed to give them a reason to think me broken and complacent. They could have no clue that I was planning escape—but neither could I make my complacency look suspicious.

There was another reason why I needed to protect myself and be meek. I had been captured as I frantically cleaned myself fearing I was pregnant. Perhaps I had not been successful—perhaps I was with child, if the ill treatment I had suffered had not caused me to miscarry. I needed to protect my child. I had heard horrific stories of men who beat pregnant women for fun, or men who raped women and caused miscarriages, and even stories told from me by Hatsuhana of the blonde-haired Englishmen who once upon a time would disembowel pregnant women for entertainment. I would not let any of that happen to me or my child.

Some Japanese might call my actions dishonorable. It is better to die than to surrender. But _I_ was _not_ surrendering! I would rather bite at my own wrist until my blood flows until I die than surrender—but I was willing to lie and smile and bow and grovel or sing and dance if it meant that I could escape. How far was I willing to go? The thought of a man touching me sickened me and I knew that I had my limits. I had to escape, or kill myself, before I would let another man lay his hands upon me as my husband would.

Eventually, on my third day, the door to my meager hut opened. It was an Englishman, as I knew it would be. What I did not expect was to be greeted with Captain Cook himself. He grinned at me and sauntered into the hut, his hand on the pommel of his sword and his other hand holding a pitcher of water—water! My throat had long been parched. My eyes stayed focused on the water. Cook noticed.

"You want this, don't you?" I nodded. I could not speak. The hatred I felt for him was masked in my eyes by my desire for the water. Cook was fooled and came closer, squatting in front of me. He was unafraid with a sword at his side and nothing but a chained woman to frighten. Cook grabbed my chin and hauled my face towards his. His smile was most unbecoming.

"So, you're Sesshoumaru's little bitch, aren't you? Not much to look at with your hair all gone. I didn't believe that someone as feared and renown as him would actually _like_ a skinny old bitch like you, but I see it's true." His fingers tightened on my chin, to the point where they felt like they were bruising. "What else do you do for him? What does he have you do at night?"

Had I the ability to do so, I would have spat in his eye for such an insinuation. He must have seen the flash of anger across my face because he pushed my away so hard I fell back. He didn't seem to care for the flash of thigh he saw as a result, which made me glad. Whatever foul beast he was, he wasn't attracted to me. Knowing that gave me confidence. Cook slammed the pitcher of water down, but squatted between me and fresh water.

"You work for me now. We caught you. You are ours. Do you understand me?" It wasn't until that moment that I realized it—he was speaking Japanese! I shook my head yes again. His eyes bore into mine. "You will do what I tell you to do. You will clean my clothes. You will darn my socks. You will, if you are good, pour me wine at dinner. You are not to smile, not to speak. You will bow when I need you, and before you leave. Never lift your head higher than mine. You are my prisoner of war. When your precious lord comes to discuss war with me and the terms of our agreement, I want to him to see you as what you are now: simpering, shaved, and _quiet_."

This was the moment that I had been waiting for—to show the small bit of fighting spirit. If they thought they could cow me so easily, they were fools and I would be better off killing myself at the first possibility than remain in their presence. I would play up to his image that I was some… pet of Sesshoumaru-sama's. I would speak like him. If Cook could speak Japanese, then surely he must understand it too. I arched an eyebrow and gave him a soft, wary glare. "And if Rin refuses?"

His grin was positively frightening. The fear on my face was real. "Then when Sesshoumaru walks into my camp, he will find your rotting corpse hanging outside my walls to greet him… if there is anything left of you once my men get through with you. They have more than _one_ desire for succulent female flesh."

The idea of being raped and eaten by the men in the camp was not one that I much liked. My voice was quiet and defeated. "Then I suppose I do not have a choice, do I?"

* * *

Hatsuhana took in a deep breath. He had looked all over for me, and I knew where I was being kept, but he could not go in by himself. He was hopelessly outnumbered, and as strong as he was as an _inutaisho_, he knew that there were people in Cook's camp that might have been just as strong. Second, barging into the camp, even as a rescue mission, would be perceived as an act of war. He needed permission from Sesshoumaru-sama to engage the enemy, which meant that he needed to tell Sesshoumaru-sama that I had been kidnapped. He had been trying to avoid it, especially after their last conversation.

He returned home and made an appointment to see Sesshoumaru-sama. While he was waiting, a very worried Hikari came to see him. Her face was pale and her eyes were shinning with tears. It made her look even more beautiful. She was a good wife for Seshoumaru-sama.

"Rin didn't return home with you. Where is she?"

My husband hung his head, ashamed. He could not lie to her. "She… she was kidnapped by Cook. She's being held in their camp." He watched as Hikari's hands flew to cover her mouth, shocked. Hatsuhana's eyes flashed angrily, his anger fed by the shame that came with the words. "I returned here to seek permission from Sesshoumaru-sama to go and slaughter as many of them as I can and rescue her."

"They _kidnapped_ her?" she repeated, still shocked. When he nodded she fluttered down gracefully into a chair, shaking her head. Hikari smiled warily. "I had wanted to tell her that I am with child. I thought she would be so happy. I had hoped that maybe she would be pregnant as well and we could give birth close to each other in time. Then our children could be friends, the way she and I are, and the way you and my husband are. Your child could be the vassal of ours and protect and love each other."

"A wonderful dream, Hikari-sama, but realistically, it is dangerous for my wife to be pregnant, and after being with Cook for three days, I would question the parentage of any child she had. Who knows what they're doing to her right now." He tightened his hand until his knuckles were white at the thought.

Hikari's facial features smoothed and she stood from where she had gracefully fluttered down in shock. Her eyes flashed with utter gold. "Rin would never let something like that happen to her. She's a tough human girl, but more than anything _that_ is what she guarded the most. She would rather kill herself than let herself be soiled in such a manner."

Hatsuhana nodded. "Yes. You are correct. She has such pride… such pride in such a small little body…" He smiled at the fond memories before his eyes summarily shadowed and glowed from his shame and anger. "She's a true Japanese woman. Once I get permission from Sesshoumaru-sama, I'm going to go and rescue her. I will shatter every single bone of anyone who dared to hurt her."

"Do you think that Sesshoumaru-sama would tell you that you couldn't rescue her? She's his vassal, after all. She's served him since before she had her woman's flows. She's been with him since she was a child!"

He turned and examined her eyes. They were good eyes—wide and kind, but with an underlying steel and determination that was so associated with demons. They were eyes that didn't know. Though she was my close confidant, and now Sesshoumaru-sama's wife, she didn't know of our relationship. She didn't know that I loved him, or that he lusted after me, or that I had been given to Hatsuhana as a wife because I had betrayed Sesshoumaru-sama.

In his pause she continued, reaching out and touching his wrist gently. "If, by chance, he does, then come and talk to me and I will see him. She's my friend too, and I want her back." With a polite curtsy, she turned to leave, but paused at the door. Her sultry voice had turned suddenly gruff. "Hatsuhana… if they have hurt Rin-chan, then breaking their bones is too good for them. If you can't think of anything, then bring them to me. I will flail their skin from their flesh."

He paused before he answered, not taking his eyes from hers. This was a side of Hikari that Hatsuhana had not seen before. He could understand more of what Sesshoumaru-sama had seen in her to pick her as a bride. She was soft and polite, but underneath that was the molten steel that so characterized demonic females.

"You realize," he said cautiously, not wishing to disturb her simmering volatile nature, "that she'd be furious with us if she knew what we were planning to do with them. She'd probably never speak to us again."

"Rin's a sweet girl," she agreed, "but I think you're underestimating her. Yes, she'd be upset with me if she knew that I were planning on skinning them alive for hurting her, but she's hardly the type to forgive and forget. She's like me. She swings wildly between seeing revenge and forgiving. Besides, isn't that why you and I are stepping up to be the hand of justice and revenge? We're stronger—mentally and physically—and we can handle revenge better. We're being the monster so people like Rin won't have to be."

He smiled, in perfect agreement, and waved goodbye as she left.

* * *

Right from the moment Hatsuhana walked into the room, he knew that something was wrong. Sesshoumaru-sama was _too_ serene behind his desk, his arm crossed and hidden in the rich folds of his silk robes. Hatsuhana stared at his cousin for a long time before he began talking. He had thought of a hundred different ways to begin, but in the end, when he faced with that frigid face, it was:

"Rin's been kidnapped."

Sesshoumaru-sama's shoulders did not sag. They remained rigid and his posture perfect. "I know," he said calmly.

Hatsuhana's jaw could have dropped. As it was his eyes widened and his anger flared wildly at his cousin's admission. For a moment the papers sitting neatly stacked on Sesshoumaru-sama's desk ruffled and tried to blow away from the force of Hatsuhana's loosened temper. "What?! What do you mean 'I know'?"

"Right before you came to see me I received a message from this Englishman. He told me that he had Rin, and since I knew that you came back by yourself, I had to assume the message was correct. I was told to go there, by myself, and negotiate a truce to get her back."

"Of course you were!" he spat. "That's because Lee is using Rin as bait to hook you!"

"I'm hardly a fool, cousin," Sesshoumaru-sama growled back. "I'm well aware that it's a trap. As of right now, I'm torn between going. I feel I owe her and I feel confident that anything Cook can throw at me I will be able to overcome, but on the other hand, Rin is only one girl and no longer of my concern. As her husband, she's your concern."

Hatsuhana stood up straighter and lifted his chin. "You're right. She is my concern. That's why I'm here. I want permission to go into their camp and rescue her."

He lifted an eyebrow, and stared at Hatsuhana, unimpressed. "My _permission_? Since when have you, cousin, ever listened to me and my _permission_? I gave you my permission to marry Rin, and told you to protect her, and yet you allowed her to be kidnapped. Why in the world would you want to listen to my _permission_ now? If I say no, are you truly going to sit here and stay nothing while they hurt Rin?"

He shifted nervously. "N… no… I'd go and get her back."

"So why don't you? Why don't you go and get her back?"

Sesshoumaru-sama's eyes flashed. Immediately it caused Hatsuhana to be wary. He stepped back from the desk, so shocked he felt as if Sesshoumaru-sama had struck him. "Sesshy? You're purposefully _trying_ to goad me into going after Rin and Cook, aren't you? You're trying to encourage me to go after her so that you can use me as an excuse to go to war. Then you're not declaring war, and if it goes badly, the responsibility isn't on your shoulders!" Sesshoumaru-sama's silence was answer enough for Hatsuhana. He barred his white teeth and growled from the pit of his lungs. "You can use me like that as much as you want, but are you seriously going to use Rin like that?"

"Rin has been mine to use since she was a little girl." Sesshoumaru-sama stood from his desk, wanting to use his height to cowl Hatsuhana back into place. "But, since you have figured it out, I will tell you what you are going to do. You are going to remain here. I asked you to protect her once and you failed. As well, they're expecting me to come. When they see you coming, they'd just kill Rin, and then kill you with their overwhelming numbers. I'm not going to let Rin die, and I am not going to allow myself to be overwhelmed by their numbers. I am stronger than you, and they will not attack me until I am in the place they want me to be, if their goal is to kill me at all. You will not go and rescue her, you caused her to be captured. I will rescue her."

"But…"

His voice was sharp and cut through Hatsuhana's argument. "How did it happen, Hastuhana?" he growled. "How was she captured? Where were you? What were you doing at the time?"

My husband's face paled, and he debated the sanity of answering. Sesshoumaru-sama wanted the information to use it to strike out at Hatsuhana, but his silence alone was guilt enough. Further, they were questions coming from a superior that Hatsuhana felt socially compelled to answer. He braced himself for the blows he knew were coming—Sesshouamru-sama had a furious anger and Hatsuhana knew that when he admitted he was asleep at the time, he was going to find himself engaged in a physical fight.

"We had just consummated our marriage. I was asleep. She snuck down to the nearby river to have a bath and clean herself. That was when she was taken."

He was surprised when no blow came. Instead Sesshoumaru-sama stood before him. His voice was icy and there was no hint of warmth in his eyes. "Wouldn't my father be proud of you now?"

* * *

The work he had me do was most degrading. I cooked (which wasn't bad), and I scrubbed the floors on my hands and knees until my fingertips were raw. I stood in the hallway when the officers (all demons) were dining on human flesh, licking and sucking the flesh from the bones. They ate like animals, picking up their food and using their teeth rather than using chopsticks. I watched them eat, the roasted vegetables smelling divine and knowing that I would get nothing to eat but slops and half-moldy bread. I had been there for two days.

But although the work was degrading, there were good benefits of it. I was given actual clothes—but European in style, with a long front that exposed my breasts until I felt like I was falling out, and skirts so large that it was hard to move. My hair was still shaved—only time could fix that. I slept on a pile of hay and raggedy blankets, but it was better than nothing. I was given food; though it was slop, the water was appreciated. And, true to his word, Cook did not let anyone touch me. When one demon, while I passing out ale, felt my buttocks, Cook reprimanded him and forced him to hold his arm over a flame until the skin blackened and peeled as punishment. That had been on my second night there.

It was because of that incident that the other slave girls began to talk to me. One of them was as dark as night, with large lips that would make any woman jealous. Her hair on her head was cropped short and reminded me of volcanic rocks on the island, all dark and glittery. Her eyes were large and framed by long lashes, her eyes full at the moment of laughter. When she spoke her voice was deep and throaty, but the hand that took mine was soft and gentle, though callused. She smiled at me, but I could not understand her.

One of the other girls came to us. Her hair was as dark as mine, but it was thin and was woven up into a series of braids to keep them out of the way. I recognized her as Japanese. "She wanted to thank you. We know that you didn't order Johnson to hurt his arm, but it's because of your presence that he was hurt. Johnson's always bothered Nadia, but now that he's been hurt he won't be able to do anything but cradle his arm for a day or two."

There was something about 'bothered' that indicated it was something more than groping. I glanced at Nadia and she grinned, flashing brilliantly white teeth, in understanding. Johnson had been forcing himself upon her on a regular basis. Strong as she was, Nadia was whipped for fighting back. When Nadia changed for bed, I saw a series of pale scars stretch over her back and legs. She had been whipped for fighting back, and hurt enough to scar. I felt myself fill with love and admiration for her, and for Asuka, the woman who acted as a translator for us.

Asuka had been taken immediately when the Europeans had landed. She had always been good with language and had quickly learned English, as well as Nadia's language. Nadia, it turned out, came from a country called Africa, and she regaled us both with stories of her homeland. She talked about walking through land covered in deadly snakes and spiders, of desert heat and strange creatures. I recognized the elephants, but stories about wild dogs who laughed or great golden cats that could sneak into a tent and grab a sleeping man seemed too strange and wonderful to be real.

They were my best friends, but I was jealous of them too. I was scared to be there. Nadia and Asuka didn't seem to be. They also had each other. At night they shared a blanket and sometimes, when the moonlight was right, I could see their naked bodies stroking each other lovingly, Asuka kissing the scars that covered Nadia's strong body, and Nadia stroking Asuka's long hair almost reverently. It seemed strange to me when I realized that they loved each other, and yet thinking of the men who had whipped Nadia, or who frightened Asuka into their beds, I was happy for them that they had someone who could kiss their wounds better.

When I thought of that, I lifted my own hands and examined my hands and the calluses that were forming, still tinted red slightly from blood. I knew that if I didn't leave soon, I would find myself so longing for a kind word or warm hug that I might become desperate enough to join them, curling beside their warm bodies while I sleep. But if I didn't, if I didn't stay, who would kiss my wounds better? It was Hatsuhana's lips I always felt kissing them better and curling his strong fingers around my hand, but it was Sesshoumaru-sama who picked me up and saved me, always.

And then one day, on my fifth day there, a messenger came to get me from where I squatted, washing dishes. He told me to come and get ready. Cook wanted me in the house he was using for his headquarters. I went to the kitchen and was given a plate of glasses and a pitcher of blood-wine. I wrinkled the nose at the smell, but I bore it away anyway. In Cook's headquarters I stood behind his chair, the dishes arrayed along the tables where people were going to be sitting. There were only four cups on the table: one for Cook, two for his closest officers, and one for the guest. I felt a stirring deep in my stomach when I realized that Sesshoumaru-sama was the one who was coming. That was why Cook had asked specifically for me.

I glanced around. No one was around yet. I reached out to the set table and grabbed one of the knives that lay on the table, hiding it in my dress. It was very clearly a trap, and I wanted to be ready to help Sesshoumaru-sama.

When Cook entered, his two officers behind him, he recognized in my face that he knew what was going on. He threw himself into his chair, filled to the brim of his broad body with pride. "If you feel like crying when Sesshoumaru comes in, that might help," he told me mockingly in Japanese. "Otherwise just stand there and look traumatized, anytime I speak to you remember to call me sir, and keep your head lower than mine."

I thought that I was ready for seeing him again. I had not seen him since I was married. I was not ready to see him again. When the door to the room slid open and he stepped in, cloaked in white and resplendent, I thought that I was going to drop the pitcher I held and run to him. It was only the sword strapped to cook's side that stopped me. I was not going to be cut down with my back to him.

He strode into the room, his footsteps echoing through the hall. I reveled when the man to Cook's left swallowed nervously. My lord looked like a hero. I was so _happy_ to see him, but I felt worry when I realized that his swords were not with him. They had disarmed him before he had entered the camp. My heart felt lodged in my throat. He had allowed himself to be disarmed for me. Hadn't he?

He stood beside the chair they had set up for him. He did not sit down, lest he trap himself in that spot. His deep voice resonated in the nearly empty room. "You have kidnapped a member of my court." I was a member of his court again! "You have kidnapped my sister-in-law." My heart sank back. I was a sister-in-law again. "Your actions are intolerable. What is stopping me from slaughtering all of you here and taking her back with me?"

Their leader smiled and gestured to the empty chair, offering it to him. He did not take it, and a visual tic appeared on Cook's face. "You are but one person. As strong as you seem to be according to the stories we've heard, you are greatly outnumbered. Second, because I am as strong as you are, if not stronger. Third, because I have the one thing that you want back. I'll kill her before you can get to her."

His words shocked me. He was being perfectly serious. I was only immune until Sesshoumaru-sama had arrived. Now that my lord was here, I could be struck, hit, whipped, and raped, just like any of the other slaves that he had. To prove his point, he placed his hand closer to the sword. From the expression on my lord's face he saw the movement. I could almost imagine the growl he was holding back in his throat.

"I'm willing to give her back to you," Cook said, smiling. "For a price."

Sesshoumaru-sama arched an eyebrow. "And what price is that?"

"Nippon. Japan. This island. Your crown." This time he could not keep back the growl, and it made Cook laugh out loud. "Don't be so grumpy. She's your vassal, isn't she? Such a pretty little thing… and she's family, too! Though why you would ever want a _human_ in your family, I don't know. Surely to keep her safe you'd be willing to give up your throne."

His voice was perfectly cold, but they were not shocking. "No, I would not."

It was the answer that I knew he would give. As much as he cared for me, as important as I might have been politically, I was not as important as everybody else. The needs of the many outweighed the needs of the one—thought in this case it might have been the two if you counted both Sesshoumaru-sama and myself. Clearly, however, it was not the answer that Cook thought that Sesshoumaru-sama would give. He tried another approach to manipulate my lord into getting what he wanted.

"Come now. It's obvious that you care for her… and your cousin cares for her too. What would you do without her? What would your cousin say or do without her?"

"I believe," he retorted, "that you are putting too much emphasis on our relationship. She's a human. She has a short lifespan. My cousin and I would be without her one day. Today is as good a day as tomorrow. Did you honestly think that I would give up all of my power for one woman? For a human woman? I should hate to live in your country, if your men are so foolish that a pretty face can take away their god-given right to power, and their women so weak that they would rather be saved than die for their beliefs. In our society, martyrs are given great respect. Rin knows that. She would rather die than to live knowing that I gave up everything I am to save her."

My heart was melting. I was learning to love him all over again. That was exactly how I had felt.

Cook glanced at me and glowered. I could almost see him running through our conversations in our head, and realizing that I had manipulated him. The smile that I had in my eyes only confirmed is thoughts. While he glared, I stared at my lord, wondering if he was disappointed in me that I had allowed myself over the last few days, to dress so provocatively and scrub floors and be a quiet servant rather than escape or committing honorable suicide. I could not read his face.

"You're not going to peacefully give up your throne then? Pity. Well, there is still simply killing you." Cook drew his sword; so did his friends. One of them sounded an alarm and more guards, armed with the slender metal tubes called guns, began pouring into the room. Most of those men where humans, and Sesshomaru-sama was faster than all of them.

He had no sword, but he had his claws. He dove for the nearest demon officer, his claws unsheathed and wisps of green in the air from his poison. There was a splash of blood in the air and the demon screamed slightly, before the poison at away at his throat, severing the vocal chords. The humans still had not fired, waiting for their cue.

A hand grabbed me and I heard Cook draw his sword. Sesshoumaru-sama was turning on us, the dying demon scrabbling at his throat, his fingers coated in blood, in an attempt to stop the spread of the flesh-devouring poison. I knew what Cook was trying to do and I would not have it. I dropped the pitcher I held, blood splashing in a red wave and staining the full skirt of my shoddy dress. I reached for the knife I'd hidden on me, and turned on Cook, stabbing it into his chest.

It didn't kill him, but I had known that when I had turned on him. It still took him by surprise and I was able to pull away from him. The humans, however, decided that they weren't going to wait for their cue. They opened fire on us. Sesshoumaru-sama's hand grabbed my shoulder and pulled me down, kicking over one of the tables and using that for cover. As we lay huddled, the other officer approaching and Cook pulling the knife from his chest, I could feel his whole body shaking. I turned to look at him, and found his eyes glowing red again, his teeth more like fangs. The clawed hand that gripped me hurt, and yet I was so happy to see him that I could have cried and flung my arms around him as I had when I was a child.

"You haven't been hurt?" he asked, not taking his eyes from the fight.

"I'm fine, my lord, but I am a little hungry."

Much to my surprise, my answer made him smile with relief. It did not subside the killer rage that energized him, but it filled him with relief. I was still myself—apparently my answer had been typical of the child-me, who was resilient enough to survive anything. Personally, I was glad that trait had not diminished itself over time. "Stay here, Rin."

He stood up. The gunmen were busy reloading their rifles. They only had enough for one volley, and then they had to pause to set their guns back up again. The second officer rushed Sesshoumaru-sama and scored a hit on his cheek. He responded with a knee, only to knocked to the ground when the other demon recovered quickly. I wondered where Cook had gone and I felt him above me. I threw myself to the ground to avoid his reach, and began crawling away. I dove under the other table, feeling rather silly hiding, but I had no weapon.

"Duck!"

I didn't understand the English word that they shouted. I plugged my ears when the guns went off. I wish, in retrospect, that I had covered my eyes too. Almost as soon as I heard the sound of the guns, there was a splatter of red thrown against the white table cloth that covered the eating area. Someone had been shot.

I poked my head out. It had been Sesshoumaru-sama. On the front, there was only a small amount of blood running down the white fabric of his shirt. However, he turned, and on his back shoulder there was a gaping hole. It was bloody and jagged looking. The bullet might have gone in small, but it was large when it went out.

The officer used his sword to attack Sesshoumaru-sama, thinking he'd been weakened. He had, but he had also become infuriated. He dodged and struck the man's side, slicing underneath the man's silver armor. Blood poured out from the wound in the side; he left the man crippled and bleeding, going after the men with the guns. I watched, half-horrified and mostly awed, as he ripped through them, splatters of blood lacing his body and the walls. As he moved, he seemed to glow. The blood that covered him did not keep him from glowing. He was beautiful.

This time Cook grabbed me. I threw him over my shoulder, but he didn't let go. He was strong and tenacious. It led into grappling. I missed what was happening, but I heard a roar and recognized it as Sesshoumaru's. A hand grabbed the back of my dress and hauled me away so roughly that when I was released I stumbled and felt. I felt blood running down my shoulder, a combination of mine and my lord's.

Cook stopped when he realized that a sword was pressed to his throat. I stopped and stared too. Something was wrong, and yet I could not place it. Everyone was dead. There was only three of us left. I could not recognize the katana that Sesshoumaru-sama held. The blade to it was pure white, where it wasn't coated with blood, and perfectly designed. When it moved, it seemed to shimmer, as if it was pearlescent. It was new. When my gaze looked up to the hand that held it, I realized that it was his other hand… the hand which, as of a moment ago, had not existed, was holding the hilt.

He had both of his arms again.

Cook was pale—paler—with fear. His wide eyes stared at Sesshoumaru-sama, filled with regret, but his pupils were narrowed with anger.

There was no time to question it. Sesshoumaru-sama slashed at him, and he cried out and fell back, blood pouring from the wound on his chest. My lord grabbed me and held me close, and began to change. He was turning into his true form, and I clung to him to keep from getting left behind. I buried myself in his hair and fur as he broke out of the house. He walked awkwardly, blood still flowing from the wound in his shoulder. The ground seemed far below me, and I heard guns going off as people tried to stop him, but he was too large and proud. With a giant leap, his long legs fumbling on the ground when he landed, we cleared the majority of the village and were on the way towards freedom.

* * *

Woot! Fun chapter to write. I hope you like it. Great chapter coming up next, I promise. :) 


	15. Chapter 15

**AN:** Sorry this upload took so much time. Yay schoolwork and all that jazz. If you are offended by sexual content, just skip down and read the last two sections. For anyone who likes the Rin/Sessy pairing, read on. I kept tweaking it, but I am generally happy with it now, and am quite interested in writing the next chapter... which I shall start on once I get some homework out of the way.

_15_

We were pursued out of the camp, but Sesshoumaru-sama easily lost them. When I felt safe I leaned up from where I was buried in his long white fur to look around, enjoying the setting sun on my face and neck, the breeze, and the powerful body under mine.

Had he not been injured I have no doubt we could have easily made it home. Sesshoumaru-sama, however, had been gravely injured by the gunshot, and we needed to stop and rest. I became immediately concerned when he slowed and then finally stopped, shrinking back to his normal self. He had spotted a cavern and decided to rest there until he was good enough to travel. I slipped off of his back and caught an expression of pain on his face before he managed to hide it. When I noticed that his hand (his new hand) was being used to support himself against the wall of the cavern, I decided not to ask if he was okay. He clearly was not.

We had just gotten into the cave when he collapsed on me. I tried to catch him when he fell, but I was not strong enough to hold his body weight. I did manage to slow his descent so that he did not strike his head when he fell. Holding him close, I felt tears running down my face.

"Sesshoumaru-sama!"

His face was startlingly pale. His lips were almost yellow from the blood draining away from his face. His expression was pained from the pressure of my hand on his body. I could feel his thick, hot blood coating and slipping between my fingers. His voice was hoarse, and he was breathing heavily.

"At least I got you out of there… Sesshoumaru-sama will be fine, Rin. I just need time to rest. I'll continue taking you home tomorrow morning."

"You're losing a lot of blood, Sesshoumaru-sama," I sobbed. He didn't answer. I held back a sob by biting my bottom lip. I could taste my blood in my mouth. "That weapon tore you up pretty badly… worse than Inuyasha ever did."

He grunted with the effort of speaking. "I am Sesshoumaru-sama. I will persevere." His eyes were closing, but still he could see me, at least at first. He did something then that he had not done since I was a very little girl. He reached out and touched my cheek and wiped away a tear. Then his eyes closed.

Everything stood still. "Sesshoumaru-sama? Sesshoumaru-sama! Sesshoumaru-sama!!"

I was bawling. I was foolish, and weak. I needed to do something, and I acted upon it. I put him down and began stripping him, revealing the expanse of his chest. It was bruised and bloody, and no longer nice to look at, but the small bullet hole in his left pectoral was already closing. I stripped him down to his chest and rolled him over. The hole on the back of his shoulder was gapping and jagged. His white skin was stained red with blood, the way lips became stained after eating red fruits. It stank; the air in the cave was wet and ripe with the scent of his blood.

I turned to my skirt, and used the excess of fabric to good use. I ripped large pieces of fabric out, using the coloured fabric as a pillow for his head so that he would not rest on the dirt and rock floor. I cried harder when I saw that his long, beautiful white hair was stained red and matted as well. The white underskirt I ripped into strips, binding the wound closed in an attempt to staunch the blood flow. I pressed my hand against it, crimson bubbles coming up between the weaves in the cloth. Sesshoumaru-sama grunted with pain, a sure sign of just how injured he truly was.

Moving closer to him, I used one arm and struggled to pull him up so that his head rested in my lap and I could lean against the wall of the cave. I was strong, but he was dead weight and I could not use both hands or a good position for fear of alleviating the pressure I was keeping on his back. With his head in my lap, and my back against the wall, I rested for several hours, hoping that we were far enough that Cook would not come after us.

I woke up at dawn the following morning. Sesshoumaru-sama was still asleep, but the blood had stopped. When I shifted I felt like my back was covered in bruises from having slept sitting up against a rock wall. My wounds, from grappling with Cook, itched in protest when I moved. I looked down at the man sleeping in my lap, brushing his bangs out of his eyes from him. I could not remember when I first found Sesshoumaru-sama, but I suspect that it must have been something like this. Even injured and asleep, he radiated power and confidence—it was incredibly alluring.

I slipped out from under him. I needed to find water. While we could live without food, my throat was parched and I felt dirty—I knew too that I should get water to clean Sesshoumaru-sama's wound too.

There was a riverbed not too far away. I drank until I felt that I was going to be sick. I ripped more cloth from my skirt and drenched it in the water, beginning to the hike back up to the cave. When I got there I cleaned his back and replaced the cloth bandages. I sighed when I looked at all the blood I had wasted. This would have been a perfect opportunity to collect blood for Arashi-sama, but I had no way to collect the blood. To keep the scent of his blood from attracting unwanted attention, I buried it in loose dirt outside. Then I went back, lifted his head into my lap again and used the last of the dampness in the rag to start to clean out the dried blood from his beautiful, long hair and brush out the knots with my fingertips.

It was like that for two days. Now and then Sesshoumaru-sama woke up, and spoke to me, but never for very long. The first time he woke up it was dark. I felt him stir, moving in closer to my body and then he winced in pain from his torn shoulder.

"Rin?"

"I'm here, Sesshoumaru-sama," I said, instantly awake.

He reached up, his fingers lightly going over my cheek. "You are uninjured?"

I smiled with relief. "Yes. I'm fine, Sesshoumaru-sama. But you are not… You were badly hurt." I paused. "Can you walk? I can take you down to the river so that you can get something to drink."

He struggled to sit up, but did not complain. I led him down to the river stream and helped him to drink. In the moonlight, his hair glowed again, though it was not nearly as sleek as normal. He was still shirtless, and the edges of his muscular torso caught the moonlight. I enjoyed watching him drink, mercurial liquid dripping from his sculpted mouth when he lifted his hand to drink.

"Thank you," I said shyly, feeling myself blush. He paused to look at me, his hand still raised and dripping water, looking more dog than man. "Thank you for coming to get me, Sesshoumaru-sama."

After staring at me a moment, he lowered his arm, letting the water slide off of his hand and he moved next to me. His golden eyes bore into mine. "Rin, I know that I told you that I did not want you to work for me anymore, but I have since proven that I need your help. You are mine; mine to do with as I please. I will not let anyone kill you, or hurt you… but I was not quick enough to keep you from being dishonoured. Your hair… Rin…" A sigh escaped him, and I felt horrible for him.

"No, no, Sesshoumaru-sama… it's not your fault."

His hand ran over my head, feeling the soft nubs of hair, and moved closer a little to me. "It doesn't look horrible on you though. You have such appealing eyes that I think that you can still look beautiful."

I blushed again. "Sesshoumaru-sama is giving Rin many compliments…"

"It's the loss of blood talking Rin, I assure you."

A sudden sob escaped me. I reached out to him and stroked his upper arm. The skin was warm, hard and smooth. Instantly I felt my heart skip a beat. To my surprise, and to make the situation worse, with my hand on his arm I could feel him tremble at my touch. It suddenly hurt to breathe. "I'm just glad you are talking at all Sesshoumaru-sama. When you were shot, and I saw all of that blood, I thought for certain that you were going to die."

"It will take more than that to kill me, Rin." He straightened, struggling to move on his own. I hurried to his side to provide him something to lean against as we returned to the cave.

The following few days were much like that. He mostly slept. I tried my best to ignore the proximity to Seasshoumaru-sama. Once or twice I even took his weapon and went hunting, and managed to gather some fruits, roots, nuts, and a rabbit. Sesshoumaru-sama's wound was closing, though the damage was too extensive to heal quickly. I watched over him.

I did not know that my very scent in the room was proving too hard for him to handle.

He could smell me, always. He could hear me move. At night, I huddled next to him for warmth and his body was touching mine. My breath was on his skin, my breathing in his ears. He could see me when I moved, and watched me—watched me cook food or eat, leave to bathe, watch my muscles move and my breathing increase when I helped him down to the shore.

Of course, my lord would not admit that he was becoming influenced by my scent. He was too proud to admit that, nor did he want me to leave. That would have made him alone and left me unguarded, and so both of us benefited from our proximity.

And then, one morning, _it_ happened. It. Something amazing and wonderful, but at the same time, a source of great shame for both of us—yet despite that I would not change anything.

My lord woke up first. He was usually the first to awaken in the morning. In the crisp dawn light he shifted to watch me sleep, my lips slightly parted as I breathed in and out, my lashes laying against the curve of my cheek, my bosom gently rising and falling—and a good view he had of that as well, from the low cut of the European dress I wore. He thought, he was thinking at the moment, that when I slept I did not look so different from the child I had been that had eagerly followed him and trusted in him explicitly.

He took advantage of me while I was sleeping, running his fingers over the curve of my cheek, my lips, and my ear—it was something he had done since I was little, as if the flesh of his thumb might remember me more than his eyes could. And, as he had always thought since I was eleven years old and became the least bit appealing in his ancient eyes, he was aware of how very fragile I was. It was that fragility which had always held Sesshoumaru-sama at bay, that reminded him that I was a human, and forbidden territory for a demon such as himself.

And worse, now I was married, which made me all the more forbidden.

Had I thought, at all, of Sesshoumaru-sama's character when I was married, I should have moved far away. I should have asked Hatsuhana to take me to China, or the mountains, or anywhere but somewhere Sesshoumaru-sama could locate me. There was one thing that was certain about Sesshoumaru-sama's character, and that was his nearly uncontrollable lust for anything that he couldn't have—his father's crown, his brother's sword, his cousin's human wife.

But to make matters worse, his own proximity to him was having effects on me. I could not help but admire his physique, the headiness of his scent, the touch of his flesh, or the strong warmth beside me when I slept. I had never known such intense desire before. There were times when I needed to leave and run or hunt or fish to alleviate the sensation which caused my cheeks to flush and my knees to become weak.

Arousal. There is a word for it, and I dare speak it. Just being close to my lord in this way made me aroused. He had to have noticed. There was no way that a lord like him could not notice the way my scent changed sometimes, or the way my lips darkened and my fingers shake. His hand, that morning, tightened around my shoulder and pulled me close, snarling and breathing deeply as he caught wind of my arousal. I awoke with a jerk, disoriented at first, and then frightened. His grip only tightened on my shoulders, enjoying it.

"M… my lord?"

"Rin, what were you dreaming about?"

So cold, his voice, so enticing and sweet. Like candy to children, or a pretty flower for a naïve maiden… he was always such a snake! I felt compelled, nearly hypnotized, to answer honestly. "A… about you, my lord."

Sesshoumaru-sama took a deep gulp. "Then… then you are not disgusted by me for how I treated you earlier?"

I shook my head. "I betrayed your trust, my lord. You acted out of anger. You have already told me that you needed me…"

He smiled—his small, quiet smile that I fancied was only for me. His hands softened and one lifted to the back of my neck, stroking the skin and faint wisps of hair at the top of my spine, and making shivers run down my body to the junction of my legs. I felt so much colder as a result of it, and I thanked my shaking lips that they would not let the moan leave me. When he leaned in closer I lifted my hands, pressing helplessly against his chest to keep him from getting too close. His chest was amazingly appealing under my fingers, soft and strong and with the faintest traces of silver hair too soft and fine for me to have ever noticed by sight alone.

"I remember, but I did not say 'needed', Rin, I said 'need'. I do, I _need_ you, Rin." Something about the way he said, the way his gold eyes looked at me when he said it, made me shiver again and a sigh escaped me—a soft one of longing. I wanted him to need me. I wanted so much to give in, to have this proud and beautiful creature admit such things to me, but just to _take_ me.

"My… my lord!" It was so hard to talk. Why was I breathing so fast? "My lord, I am married now… I have a duty…"

"So do I. But what about a duty to yourself, Rin? What about Sesshoumaru's duty to himself?"

He made me pause.

"I have honour…"

"So do I, and yet I am the one propositioning you, a human ch… woman," he corrected himself.

My eyes stung with tears. I felt so torn. I loved him, I fell in love with him, all over again for laying himself bare and then giving the choice to me. He was strong enough to take me without asking for my permission, and yet he would not move more without my consent—consent to commit adultery…

"Why could you have not asked me this when I was sixteen? Seventeen? Even last year, before I had been married to your cousin! Why now?! This isn't fair! This is not fair to anyone!"

His large hand cupped my cheek. His beautiful face was carved, like smooth and cold marble, and yet there was a hint of weakness in the corners of his sensual mouth. He was being honest with me—perhaps more honest than he had been to anyone else. "Rin, I have wanted you since you first got your woman's flows and became aware of your sexuality. There were sometimes when I thought I would not make it through the night. I would have loved to have been the first, the first to watch your eyes fill with awareness at your first kiss, to see your puzzled expressions, your fear, your joy, but to do that would have broken you. Don't you see?"

"No!" I was crying by now. I was crying tears of joy and frustration. "It's unfair that you leave this up to me. Don't you see? I always wanted it to be you, Sesshoumaru-sama. Of course I'm going to say yes. Of course I'm going to say yes! This is everything, _everything_, that I have ever wanted!"

I knew that I was signing a death warrant. Women have been killed for adultery before. I could never understand how they could have done it, but back then I had always been young enough to imagine that I was going to be married to my lord, and no force on earth could have come between us. I had never thought of being married to someone else and then having Sesshoumaru-sama be that third force. I was going to be pulled apart by Sesshoumaru-sama and my sense of duty and honour. I would never be the same after this—I would never be whole after this, but I did not care. I would risk my future to know one moment of pure happiness.

The moment the words were out my mouth his lips covered mine, ravenous and hungry. His lips were warm and slightly moist. His tongue pushed through my lips, pushing mine aside to run along the roof of my mouth. I moaned at the sensation, unaware of how wonderfully sensitive that area was. I could feel myself becoming even more aroused, and terrified as his lips bore down on mine, making it hard to breath. Sesshoumaru-sama was not my Hatsuhana, and sex with him would not be the slow, playful thing it was with my husband. Sesshoumaru-sama was a primeval force, prone to forget how much stronger he was than I.

One hand grabbed the hem of my shirt and I heard a ripping sound before the cold air assaulted my breast. His hand cupped it greedily, squeezing so hard that I pulled away in pain. He did not apologize, but his hand softened, though it was no less intense. His claws ran over my nipple until it was hard, and the other breast was harder from jealousy. Still his tongue explored my mouth, his teeth biting into my bottom lip when I tried to kiss him back in the same manner or to pull away for a breath. Soon it felt sore and raw, and yet the kisses were still feverish and hungry, to the point that when he pulled away my lips were cold and heavy.

His lips covered my nipple, and the moan of pleasure was quickly replaced with one of fear. Did he mean to kiss that until it was as sore as my lip? He chuckled at my changing scent and I moaned again in response, arching myself back so that my breast became taut between his lips. My hands itched to touch him back, or to touch myself to alleviate the burning rush between my legs, and yet I was too scared to do anything.

His other hand slid up my from my back to lift me up more as he trailed kisses up my neck, until he found the softest spot. There he dug his teeth in and I touched him then, wrapping my arms around his muscular body and digging my nails into his flesh at the flash of pain in my neck. I tried to save his name and his head shot up, his hand covering my mouth. His lips were red and swollen from kissing.

"Don't. I don't want to hear it. No talking, Rin," he said with a growl. "You can say yes and no, but not my name. If you break it, then I will either stop this now or continue doing this until you are screaming, do you understand me?"

I was terrified—absolutely terrified, and I was frightened into acquiescence. With that surge of fear I felt myself becoming even more aroused. I was curious about what he would do to make me scream—there was yet some naivety in me!

He left my breast behind. He lay me in the dirt, and straightened to remove his clothes. I watched aptly, watching the smooth muscles change and the hair shimmer. His wound, in the back, was still raw and red, but more interested was I in what lay underneath his pants as he added them into the pile. His calves were supple and muscular, his thighs pale silver in the morning light, his waist taught and nearly perfect. He was erect, his chest heaving and his eyes shining with delight when he realized that I was watching him.

He grabbed me so quickly that for a moment my world was disoriented. Holding me with my back against his chest, I felt him smile when I whimpered. One hand held me still, my arms limp by my side as all my thoughts were on his hand, the muscles pressing into me, and the fire between my legs that made me want to cry. His hand grabbed careful handfuls of the fabric and pulled. It nearly jerked my whole body, and each tear made me shut my eyes. When I was naked, his chin against the crown of my head and his silver hair swirling around us, his hands finished exploring me, cupping my other breast, running down my stomach, and yet avoiding anything else.

His touches were gentle and commanding, and I could not resist them. They were full of such sweet promises. On my hands and my knees, he shifted weight behind me. I heard of this, but never had experienced it, and was not ready when he suddenly drove himself into me. My mouth fell open and I had to struggle to contain the sudden cry of pain. He gave me no chance to become accustomed to his presence as he pulled back out and then drove himself in again. This time the cry did escape me, and the relief it offered me felt wonderful. Never had a moan or a sigh felt so good!

His hands ran up and down my back, now again his claws lightly scraping my skin, but one hand always stayed on my thighs or hip to hold me still as he pushed into me repeatedly. It was so repetitive that I could not remember when the pain stopped and the bliss began. Each time he entered me, the next beat would come faster, and faster, and sometimes he would slow and make me wait. It was fun and wonderful and excruciating all at the same time, and there seemed to be no end in sight. Would he never run out of energy?

But I kept up with him. I kept up with him until I had forgotten who and where I was. I was lost. I was no longer Rin. I was lost somewhere else, some nearly spiritual place with him, where both of us were trying to understand why we had not stopped, why we kept going, and then I broke his rule. I was gasping, my throat burning, my hands bleeding from the small rocks on the ground, and I simply said his name.

It was a catalyst. He said my name then, hollering it and snarling it, and had I glanced back I knew that his eyes would be red, and he slammed into me a final time with such force and precision that I felt my whole body shake at my name, my body filling with relief.

We slept after that. I was shy and worried, if content, when he finally finished. I was glad then that I had never indulged in childish fantasies in which our coitus would finish in a soft and sensual affair, for I would have been sorely disappointed. He had been interested in satiating only himself, and he lay down on our mountain of ripped and torn clothes, his body coated in sheen of sweat, and pulled me down beside him. I was exhausted, both mentally and physically, and was eager for sleep to lull the pain of my wounded, raw body.

But, much to my surprise, he would not let me get very far. His eyes were closed, his lashes dark half-moons against his pale skin, and with a petulant sigh he pulled me back to him when I sought to roll over on my side. Curling his long limbs around my smaller form, he rested his head on the curve of my breast and sighed contentedly, his hands gentle as they held me. I was taken aback, and more frightened by this sudden childish, sweet clinging demeanor than I had been of my lord when he was dominant. Nonetheless, I wrapped an arm back around him and closed my own eyes, stroking his silver hair gently. He snuggled closer at my touch and I felt my heart break with love for him all over again. So… this was what was left of the cold and rough man once his energy was spent… nothing more than a man looking for a soft and familiar body to hold as a child would a favorite doll!

After that initial bout of sex, things were much different. I woke up later that day to discover his hair misting around me as he licked and kissed me awake with gentle strokes. His eyes had their familiar smile when he saw I was awake. He kept licking and kissing me until I was aroused and ready for him to enter me again, but this time it was slow and passionate, rather than rough and greedy.

I had thought from the our previous experience that he had stamina, but the second bought proved me what stamina truly was as he made me feel over and over again like I was flying high and wild. With each new sensation I felt as if I were soaring higher, his kisses and touches floating me into new heights and letting me fall gracefully back to earth.

After I had run out of energy, he scooped me into his arms and carried me to the river, where we washed each other. The way he touched me… oh, the way he touched me! Never had I felt so delicate, and what made it all the more endearing was how he didn't seem to mind. There were no sardonic remarks or cruel expressions, only this… devoted and precise manner more akin to the way a jeweler cleans a precious treasure. I washed him return, astonishing myself with the way my hands scrubbed and kneaded his back into eliciting the sweet moans and sighs from him.

And such the way it was for the final two days it took for Sesshoumaru-sama's wound to heal. There were very few spoken words between us; only touches, and no more of the desperate neediness expressed in that first round of sex. That is not to say that there was no rough for sex, for it _was_ Sesshoumaru-sama, and I was more than happy at the way my body to responded to a heavy hand and that he held himself back very little, but after such roughness there was always the sweeter, more loving intercourse which would last for hours. We both knew, without needing to be told, that it would end. On that day, when his wound was at least healed, we bathed separately to take each other's scent off of our bodies. There would be some traces remaining, as there should have been for spending such time together, but there would be nothing to arouse suspicion.

I knew my lord would not say anything, so it was I that broke the silence. I did so as he stood tying his belt and giving me his shirt so that I would be wearing something when we arrived home.

"I know we can never do this again, my lord, but I will always treasure the time we had together, like this." He was staring at me, those gold eyes so cold and beautiful. I felt so silly and juvenile as a result, but it simply made me cherish the way his face warmed a little at my shy blush. "It _was_ everything I'd ever wanted."

He looked away then. For a moment I wondered if I had angered him, but his shoulders were not as tense as when he was angry. I stroked his new arm, wondering at the softness of the flesh, and he turned back to me. I think the next words he said were some of the hardest words he ever admitted. "It was the thing I have most recently wanted most."

I smiled a little. "Not quite as much as getting Tetsusaiga from Inuyasha or being a better ruler than your father?" I asked.

He reached out to stroke my cheek and fix the collar of my shirt for me, already preparing to change back into his true form so hasten our return home. His beautiful face seemed so young when he gazed at me in such a manner. He did not say anything; my speculation needed no reply. Yet, the way that he stroked my cheek, the way that his touch lingered close to my skin, the wrinkles in the corner of his eyes and the way they darkened to coppery gold as he shifted, told me everything he couldn't say out loud.

Sesshoumaru-sama loved me. He loved me. Nothing else, no hate or sense of propriety could have stopped such feelings for so long. But love? Not wanting to hurt me, dishonor me, and the fear he felt at feeling something for a human; that was strong enough. As we returned home, I could not help it but press my cheek against the warmth of his fur, enjoying the last of our time together.

* * *

When we arrived home, there was much celebration. Hikari greeted Sesshoumaru-sama rather coldly, in human terms, but her eyes were shining, and me she showered with hugs and kisses. My lord was at once surrounded by his men, immediately discussing tactics and the situation. I was dragged away by Hikari, but I did see my husband among them and knew that he was eagerly awaiting to be alone with me.

Hikari fed me, and bathed me, and moaned the loss of my hair. She smiled at me as she stroked it. "I always," she admitted, "imagined I was doing the hair for my daughter when I did yours, Rin. You are human, and more fragile than I, I knew that if I could do your hair for you and not hurt you than I would be gentle enough to do my child's. I know that Sesshoumaru-sama wants a male, to ensure his throne, but I would so love to have a female. I suppose we shall wait and see. I only hope that when it is time for me to bear, those strange Europeans will be gone."

"Hikari, are you saying…."

She nodded with a bright smile which practically made her glow. "I am with child, Rin. Within the year I will bear our lord a son or a daughter."

While we were crying and talking, celebrating her announcement, my lord Sesshoumaru was telling his followers everything he had seen in the camp. Once he was done, he coughed, folded his hands on his lap, and looked at them solemnly.

"There is a final note of interest," he said. "I want it spread around. These people should be treated with seriousness in battle. They have strange new weapons, capable of killing demons with a single blow from a distance."

A ripple went through the crowd at this news. Some of the demons from the court looked incredulous. Sesshoumaru-sama was still shirtless, and turned enough to show them his shoulder, where the new skin was still paler than the rest of his back. He showed them the faint hole where it entered, and the large hole where it had left.

"This took me more than three days to heal. If this had struck my stomach, heart, or head, or even if Rin had not been there to stop the bleeding and clean the wound for me, I would not have been able to survive. The situation is for more serious than what we had originally thought. I do not want anyone to rashly engage this people. Even a human armed with such a weapon would be deadly."

"We must do _something_," one of the demons said.

"And so we will," my lord agreed. "My actions have declared war. I am, in fact, quite surprised at the fact that they did not attack while I was unavailable."

The quiet around the table indicated that the Englishmen had attacked while Sesshoumaru-sama was wounded. He had to do nothing but stare for the weakest around the table to crumble. "My… my lord," one demon said, stammering, "while you were gone, they pressed an advance. They have pressed into Nippon up to Musashi's domain and continue pressing towards this fortress."

"Musashi's domain?" He relaxed a little—a sign of defeat, for my lord. He was shocked they had moved in so far. Upon hearing this news, the first thing he thought of was me. He knew that I had friends there, and wondered how this news would affect me. Then he thought of the people themselves—the proud _taijiya_ that had tried to protect Kaede-chan, and the niece that was one of Sesshoumaru-sama's last living relatives, or the cold, imperial priestess who reminded Sesshoumaru-sama a little of Kikyo… were they still alive? Were they held hostage? Had they gotten out safely?

Worry gripped him when he realized that the thought of those three girls being dead frightened him. He did not want to see them dead. He wanted to see them alive, and dreamed that he wanted to see them alive so that he could continue fighting and opposing them, but the reality was that he wanted them alive because thinking of them dead broke his heart. He knew that he had a heart because he had felt it break when I had opposed him, and break again when he knew our time together in that cave was coming to an end, but this was the first time he felt it hurt for someone other than myself. He had not realized that he was becoming so soft, but he allowed that feeling to grow, growing into anger which empowered him.

"If they have taken Musashi's domain, then we shall take it back from them."

And thus preparations for war began.

* * *

When it was done, my husband came to me. He found me outside in the garden, replanting some tiger lilies. I was sweaty and dirty, but still his smile was wide. I put down my small shovel and spread my arms wide for him, embracing him tightly. He smelled delicious, and the sigh I heard escape him nearly shattered me twain. How could I ever have let another man touch me other than this intelligent, sensuous, sweet man I held?

But then, how could I have said no to the god that had asked me?

He released me and held me at arm's length to inspect me. His hand brushed my hair, and he sighed again, this time one of mourning. Still, his hazel eyes were warm. "I think it suits you."

I smiled and blushed. "Sesshoumaru-sama said the same thing when he saw it. I miss it though. It was so frightening when I woke up and discovered that it was gone!" I ran the fabric of his sleeves between my fingers; the material was practical and thick. "I missed you, Hatsuhana."

"I missed you as well, Rin. I will never let you out of my sight again! Gods above, I shouldn't even be touching you right now. I feel like I haven't the right, for it was my foolishness that allowed you to be captured. I swore to protect you, and at the first test of my oath I failed."

"I snuck away, husband. I was… I was ashamed and worried at what we had done."

"Ashamed? Of sex?"

I flushed. "It was my first time. I had not expected it to be so personal. It was fun, and I would willingly do it again, but I had lost something I had always deemed special. I felt as if what made me Rin was stolen from me… but I have found myself again and look upon that occasion with love and fondness. It was not your fault that I was caught. It was my own. You cannot protect me all the time, and I am not some woman who cannot use a weapon. All this prose and Sesshoumaru-sama's fancy dresses belie my true nature. I am a fighter."

The wrinkles in the corners of his eyes appeared from the width of his smile. "No," he said gently, brushing my lips with his thumb, "you are not a fighter. You are something more than that. You are a healer as well. Sesshy told us what you did… I suppose that's why he let you replant your flowers?"

I looked away, making it appear I was demure, when in reality I felt my insides boil at the memories of that cave. No, he did not give me back my flowers because I had helped him. No, he gave me back my flowers because he loved me and repented taking them away.

"He has mobilized us for war. The soldiers are to leave tomorrow. I don't suppose that you would be willing to stay here, with Sesshoumaru-sama's wife."

"Rather than marching into war? I have already made a bad name for myself, and with my cut hair, I look more like a street urchin, and so what honour have I to worry about losing by marching into battle with my lord? Only if I were chained in the dungeon would I stay here while everyone I love fights!"

Hatsuhana chuckled and lifted me for a chaste kiss. "That was the fire I married. I have never met a human woman as brave as you, Rin." And, for a moment, he appeared infinitely sad, suddenly aware that he earnestly loved me, and that I would not live as long as he would. That fire he loved in me would wither away little by little, until the candle was finally extinguished and he was alone again.

Perhaps because of this, his expression changed to cover up his sadness, and his grip on my shoulders tightened slightly. "I should like to spend the night with you again," he said. "I missed you when you were gone. Being intimate with you would let me know that you are all right…" I must have given him a dubious expression, because he shyly explained, "It would let me see you… all of you… and ensure that they didn't harm you."

For a moment I was scared. What if he could somehow sense that I had been with Sesshoumaru-sama? Were there bruises? Scrapes? Handprints? No… No… My heart slowly slowed back down as I reassured myself. We had taken care. We had been cautious. If there were marks, he would have told me, and I could have feigned shyness easily to avoid exposing myself to my husband until they were gone.

I took his chin in my hands and drew him down for a longer, less-chaste kiss. My eyes sparkled. I truly was happy with him, though there was a small part of me that was no longer warmed by his soft smile or hazel eyes. It did not compare to the rare, subtler smile of my lord, or the fierceness of his gold eyes. "Let me finish planting my lilies," I asked him, "and freshen up. Then I would be happy to spend the night by your side again."

"Let me plant them with you?" There was such hope in his voice, his eyes so pleading, that I could not help but same yes.

I still did not know of the conquering of Musashi's domain. I would not find out until the following morning, when I joined the army. For that evening, I was happy with my husband, but in my dreams I was back with Sesshoumaru-sama. It was hard to lay there and pretend to be a shy, new sexual creature when I had learned what I liked and what I disliked, but I was good at hiding my emotions.

But right now, I am certain you would like to know what was going on in Musashi's domain, and just what had happened to my friends…

* * *

To be continued... 


	16. Chapter 16

**AN: **

Wow. It's been a long time since I've updated this story. I have no excuses. Thank you for anyone who looks to see what the update is all about. Chapter sixteen is a _little_ late. A special thanks goes out to T.M. who asked for a sign that the story might be continued. I thought an update would be an acceptable sign. I hope everyone enjoys it. No Rin or Sesshy or a chapter or two, as we now look to what's going on in Musashi's domain and how the city fell to the invaders… -PoF

**-16-**

Although she had Tetsuya to help her, Arashi-sama was still having trouble returning to her peak powers. They tried a multitude of cleansing exercises and meditations, and yet still her power was not up to full. I have no doubt that if she had been at full strength the European demons would not have been able to take the _taijiya_ village.

They were caught unawares. They could have had better defenses, if they had known that Arashi-sama was unable to protect them, but she had kept her declining powers a secret. Only her family and Tetsuya-sama knew. They would have had to be deaf and blind to not know that something in Arashi-sama had changed.

On the morning of the attack, Arashi-sama was bathing. She stared at her hands, her long black floating around her in the water, and could still see that her palms were stained red from the blood of the men she had killed. The water stank with old blood. Arashi sighed and put down her hands, closing her eyes and blocking out the memory and feel of the warm liquid coating her hands. She rose, dried off, and dressed, heading to breakfast.

Tetsuya was already there. For a moment Arashi-sama paused to watch him finish preparing breakfast, sitting down on the tatami mat and waiting for her. He reminded her very much of her father, though not because he was a monk. He reminded her of her father because of the way which with he carried himself; when he was nervous or formal he was as stiff as a tree, and when he felt comfortable he relaxed into a lazy cat that enjoyed watching the world pass him by. He was also always full of smiles and gentle suggestions to help the people around him. Arashi knew that if she had ever had any interest in a man, it would have been him—but unlike her flirtatious father, Tetsuya kept his hands to himself and never once hinted that he had any interest in her other than as his peer.

Arashi purposefully made noise as she took off her sandals to walk into the house section of the shrine. He heard and turned to smile at her.

"Feeling any better, Arashi-sama?"

She shook her head, her long dark hair shaking back and forth sinuously. "No. I feel as though it's only getting worse. No amount of meditation or breathing exercises seems to be capable of allowing me to find my centre. I feel as though it's a lost cause."

Immediately his smile turned sympathetic. "I do not believe there are such things as lost causes, Arashi-sama. This simply means that we do not yet know the way to bring back your powers. Perhaps, in your grief, you have even simply blocked them from yourself until you are able to mentally and emotionally come to terms with the lives you have taken."

"Perhaps…"

Tetsuya stopped working to simply stare at her a moment. Arashi could feel his gaze upon her, but was not disturbed by it. There was only compassion on his face, and a yearning to understand and help her. It warmed Arashi, and she found herself speaking, for the sole reason that Tetsuya earnestly wanted to understand.

"Sometimes, I find myself thinking about what my father would be telling me to do if he were still here. Would he know of a way to bring back my powers? And when I think of him, I feel as though part of me… is empty. There is a deep hole inside of me, and nothing I do can fill that hole. I try to comfort in my friends and family, in Kirara, Shippou, Kaede and Kissaki, but I can find none." Her hands clenched at the fabric of her red pants. "I want _him_. I want him back, Houshi-sama."

Arashi felt tears sting her eyes and she lowered her head, letting her dark hair hide them for the moment. She took a deep breath and found that it was becoming painful to breathe. Licking her lips, she lifted her head and nervously continued. "When Mother died, we knew it was coming, and I had a chance to say goodbye. With my father… I never had the chance to say anything. By the time I held him in my arms, he was already gone. I can deal with death and grief, Houshi-san. You know how much of it we see in our roles. But I wasn't prepared for this yet. I wanted more time. I wanted to be able to say goodbye to him, as I had to Mother. I feel, somehow, that I lost both of them that day."

She was sobbing suddenly. The confession had broken through the remains of her self control and she hid her face in her hands, crying. The pain that she felt was tearing her apart. All the arguments she'd had with her father that she had not apologized for, the thanks she owed him, to simply tell him that he had done a fine job raising her and she was thankful.

Tetsuya did not know what to do, so he did what came naturally to him. As soon as the dams broke, his arms closed around her and they knelt together on the tatami mats. Her hands fumbled against him, and he thought she might push him away, but instead they merely found the fabric of his robes and she clung to him tightly, bawling. His hands stroked her back and her hair, and his voice whispered to her soothingly.

The tears were cathartic. They came on strong at first, but after a few moments of being held gently in Tetsuya's arms, they shifted from a storm to a stream. He felt the change and lifted her head gently to use the edge of his sleeve to dry her face. She struggled to pull back, ashamed, but the gentle firmness of his hands reminded her so much of her father that she lost her will to do so.

"I'm sorry," she sniffled.

"Why?"

"For… for crying." Her tone implied that it should have been obvious what she was apologizing for.

Tetsuya smiled at her—the small smile that Arashi was slowly beginning to hate. It was the smile that reminded her that he was a few years older than she, as if those few years had bestowed upon him unparalleled wisdom she had yet to achieve. Something cold slid down her spine when she realized that her parents had smiled like that to each other—her father bestowed it on Sango when she was being coy about being affectionate with him, and her mother had bestowed it on Miroku when he was being clueless about women.

"Arashi-sama, you and I both know that whatever the world would tell us about where our powers came from, in the end we are merely human. To cry is natural."

He continued to stare down at her, and the angular face softened with tears, red-nosed and bloodshot eyes, framed by straight lines of black hair. His arms tightened around her, holding her simply as a human being held someone they loved in mourning, and she slowly melted into his grasp, taking comfort from knowing that someone understood.

"You remind me so much of your father," he said finally.

Arashi laughed a little, but it sounded bitter. "You're the only one, then. Everyone else tells me that I'm too much like my mother."

His voice was soft, but a little reproving too. "Everyone else hasn't held you after you cry. Everyone else did not see your father grieve for your mother. No, you remind me of your father. I can see your mother in you because you're both strong women, resistant to accept help from anyone. But you're father had that too. Did you not know he traveled around for years by himself? He always told me that it was working with Inuyasha-sama and Kagome-sama that had allowed him to learn how to work cooperatively with others, and that having companions on the road allowed them all to share the emotional burdens they carried. Somehow, even though when he teamed up with them he began carrying Inuyasha's guilt for hurting Kagome-sama with his love for Kikyou-sama, or Kagome-sama's guilt for shattering the jewel, the burdens they carried became lighter when they helped to carry someone else's."

"And so you hold me because my pain makes yours lighter?"

"And so I hold you because I respect you and cannot stand to see you in pain. I tell you of your father, or the help he gave me, so that you can remember you were not the only student he had. I counted him as teacher and as friend, and I will miss him."

She lifted her head from his chest to see him. He looked earnest. She sniffled and childishly buried her head in his robes again, trying to hide. "You probably think my mourning childish and selfish, then."

His hand brushed her hair gently. It was still damp from her bath earlier. "I think your grief appropriate for someone who has lost their father and their teacher both in the same instance.,. and for someone who has been holding back mourning for him because she has immense responsibilities to bear. I could tell you any manner of things, Arahi-sama, but I know you know them all already."

"My father and mother are reunited in death, and I should rejoice. My father fell trying to protect me and dying in combat, and my _taijiya_ heritage should be proud. My father lived a long life and I should celebrate it. I have heard them all. I have told them all to someone else at some point in my career. In the end, they have moved on… so why can't I?"

"Because you keep eating yourself up over the one thing you missed from that list. You do not always have the chance to say goodbye to the people that you love, Arashi-sama. Do you really think that your father did not know that you were honored to be his? That you did not appreciate the lessons, and the life he gave you?" He smiled at her gently, and this time it was full of love, his eyes still in grief.

"I can remember the first time he told me he had a daughter. Once I inquired about you, he could not stop talking about you and Shippou and the wild things you did together. He was so proud of you when your mother started teaching you how to use the sword. He was so proud of you when you took over the shrine. Before I had even met you, he had described you to me so many times, I thought I should recognize you even if I were blind. Most adults lie… exaggerate about the beauty of their children, but Miroku-sama was most accurate."

Arashi-sama flushed, but did nothing else. Tetsuya was pouring on.

"He took pride in everything you did. He thought the world of you, Shippou and Sango-sama. Once, when others overheard him talking, they were aghast that a man would devote more of himself to his home life than to Buddha, arguing that in their philosophy, the family clouded the path to enlightenment. Miroku-sama laughed at them, and made an argument so strong that they had left town the following morning.

"He told them that the children he had seen, when they were babes, were closer to enlightenment than any adult he had met, and that men spent the rest of their lives after learning how to talk trying to forget how to in their pursuit of enlightenment. He said that he had found his meaning in life when he watched his child take her first steps: man walks on two shaky legs most of his life, trying to lead a good life and die knowing that the life they led will be remembered, and God is always right there when we walk. If we trust him, when we fall he will be there to pick us up and set us back on our feet again."

"Did my father really say that?" she laughed.

"About walking?"

"About everything. I know he could be loud and boisterous, but around me he was always calm and… and insightful. I… I never got to see that part of my father."

"Probably," Tetsuya smiled, "because whenever he did, it was either about you and your brother or your mother, and had you or Sango-sama been there, you would have wisely dragged him into the nearest bath house and pushed him into a cold bath."

She laughed. It was a brilliant sound, and Tetsuya eased his grip on her, knowing that she had found her footing again. Arashi-sama lifted her head, her nose still red, her cheeks a deep pink from her laughter. Her lips were plump and wet from crying. Tetsuya shook his mind awake. Miroku-sama had told him so many stories about Arashi-sama…

His arms still held her. Arashi-sama pulled back, grateful for the use of his body when she had needed a warm embrace, and his arms slid out from around her. She placed a hand on his knee and smiled at him, her eyes still a little watery. "Thank you, Houshi-sama. You are a good friend."

Then she stopped when she looked down. Her blush deepened as she saw the form his robes scarcely hid. Tetsuya-sama looked down too and muttered a curse that sounded like something a child would say rather than the oaths Inuyasha-sama had been so fond of using in the past. He shifted his robes, trying to hide his erection and found that his hands were clammy with nervousness.

"I… I'm sorry," he stumbled, all manner of smooth talking lost. "It's just… holding you was the closest I had ever come to a woman. I was unprepared."

She smirked cruelly. "You mean my father never took you to any brothels in your adventurers together?"

He stared at her innocently. "Your father never went to any woman when he was in my jurisdiction. I'd heard stories, of course, from his own lips that in his youth he had an… unparalleled thirst for laying with women, but he never ventured there after marrying your mother. Not that he didn't _try _to take me there," he added with a wry grin, "but I had no interest in going there."

Tetsuya stood up and lent Arashi a hand. He lifted her easily to her feet, though he wouldn't meet her gaze directly. When he looked at her, he either looked at her chin or her forehead, giving the appearance of seeing her face. Arashi-sama shook her head, knowing that this shyness and embarrassment would not do. She refused to give him back his hand.

"A moment ago weren't you saying that we're only human? It's a natural reaction, Houshi-sama. Stop thinking that somehow you've offended me. I am not offended, merely surprised."

He blushed. "I apologize. I wish I had more control over… over _that_. Most of the time, this would happen in… in the early morning, and would subside quickly. I had no idea that simply holding you would… would make me lose control over…"

"Houshi-sama, I have two uncles, a father, and a little brother. I may not know much about the male body, but I do know that you have no control over when it happens or what causes it to happen."

His blushed deepened. "I'm sorry. It's just that… you were so soft. I didn't know that a woman's body would be soft like that, or that you would smell so good. And then, when you looked up at me, even though you had a runny nose and were crying, for the first time I wondered what it would be like…"

He straightened, realizing that he was babbling. He gave her hand a gentle squeeze, trying to reassure her that he was putting the incident behind him, and this time she let his hand slide out of hers.

"Where is your mother buried? Show me where it is. It is time that you told your father everything that you wanted to tell him before he died. Perhaps saying them out loud will simply be enough to bring back your powers and erase your guilt."

"Do you really think that simply telling my father goodbye will be enough to bring them back?"

Tetsuya's face was stern. "I hope so, Arashi-sama, because I'm out of ideas."

* * *

It was a cold morning. Farmers were still eating breakfast when Tetsuya and Arashi-sama left the temple to head to where Sango was buried. They had lain her to rest not too far from the well and the Goshinboku. As they climbed the hill to the sacred tree, the fog hung low to the ground, parting as they walked and turning the edges of their clothes damp.

Arashi-sama loved morning like that. She had learned to love them from her parents, who would often slip out of their house and climb the hill, where they would then on the slope and watch the sun come out to dry away the fog. When she told Tetsuya as much, he nodded.

"I love mornings like this as well. The world seems so peaceful and magical."

He waited patiently out of ear shot as Arashi-sama knelt at her mother's grave and prayed to her father's spirit, telling him all the things she regretted never having spoken out loud.

In the darkness of the trees surrounding her village, the Englishmen were already in wait. They have moved in at night, and were waiting for the fog to clear up before they began their attack. The noise of the approaching army would carry in the low fog. They had rolled up their remaining two canons to use on the village. The archers were posted, bows strung, waiting to shoot down anyone who would try to escape the village. The demons were waiting to shift, to reveal their true forms, and tear down the village.

Cook stood between the two cannons, waiting and watching. His second-hand man came up to him, and asked why the village was so important as a strategic location. Sesshoumaru-sama had been gravely wounded. Why not just press on and take the capital while their strongest fighter was away? They might have more demons, the man argued, but a human armed with a gun to take down a demon with a head wound if they weren't in their animal forms. The capital would not be expecting an attack.

Cook merely smiled and pointed to the hill on the outskirts of town, where the Goshinboku stood a few leaves taller than the other trees.

"The capital does not have that. That tree is special. I can feel its energy from here. I do not yet know it's secrets, but I will discover them. Furthermore, this village is the home of the demon slayers. Our weapons can take care of the demons, but if Sesshoumaru is going to lead any kind of resistance against us, the demon slayers will be the strongest human force he can muster. If we wipe them out with one fell swoop, then when Sesshoumaru builds his army, we will have only human warriors used to facing bandits and his demon followers." Cook patted the canons beside him. "These should take care of most of them."

He leaned over, looking at the fog. "That's long enough. If we wait any longer, the people will be out in the field. I want them in their houses, where they can't escape. Tell the men to open fire."

* * *

Kissaki was woken up when Kirara began licking her cheek. She rolled over in an attempt to escape from the cat demon's rough tongue, but Kirara was relentless. Finally, Kissaki sat up, rubbing her eyes. Her house felt empty, leaving her in a grumpy mood, but a few strokes of Kirara's soft body, and Kissaki felt powered enough to get out of bed.

The bedroll beside hers was empty. Kaede-chan was apparently already up. Kissaki had just finished brushing her hair when she heard her friend return, carrying a bucket of water for cleaning and cooking.

"Good morning, Kissaki-chan!"

Kaede-chan was always too happy in the morning. It annoyed Kissaki, but she was coming to accept it. In fact, she enjoyed living with Kaede-chan because her new roommate woke up early and kept the house running smoothly. If she didn't have Kaede-chan, she wouldn't have a clean house, or fresh water sitting by the hearth, and the pile of laundry would not be neatly folded and awaiting cleaning.

"Morning," Kissaki replied with a yawn. She stretched, and Kirara did the same. Then Kissaki noticed the weathered scabbard stuck to Kaede-chan's side. She grinned, despite how early it was. "You even carry Tetsusaiga to go and get water, Kaede-chan?"

The other girl nodded and held up a very human looking hand. "My father could leave it at home when he was in the village because he still had his claws. I have nothing. And he'll kill me if I lose it."

"Have you seen Shippou yet this morning?"

Kaede nodded. "He's just outside the house. He wasn't feeling very well for some reason this morning. He's wired."

"Wired?"

She blushed, realizing that she'd been speaking using modern Japanese phrases again. "Sorry, Kissaki-chan. I mean he's excitable at the moment. Something's bothered him, and he doesn't know what it is. Now," she said, clapping her hands, "what would you like me to make for breakfast?"

Before Kissaki could answer, there was the sound of an explosion. Both girls dropped immediately, covering their heads and hugging the ground to keep their balance. They glanced at each other, and then Kaede-chan went for the door, calling for Shippou, and Kissaki grabbed her sword before following her.

Shippou was on his way to the temple when the attack began. He was right beside the house that the first cannonball struck. One moment he was walking, and then he heard something whistling in the air. He stopped to look in the direction of the noise, when the house beside him suddenly turned into a shower of wood. A plank of wood struck his shoulder, helping him down on the ground.

He rolled to see the hut. There was nothing left of it but crumpled walls littered with the remains of the thatched roof. Shippou's heart was pounding in his chest. What had that been? Were they under an attack?

The answer was obvious as men with raised weapons came running from the tree line into the village. Shippou saw strange tubes, guns, and other carrying simple bladed weapons. He rose and dusted himself off. Silly humans, he thought. They were attacking the home of the demon slayers. They were nothing but recruited farmers going up against trained fishers. They were going to die.

His faith in their ability to defend their home was soon arrested when another house exploded into pieces of scrap wood, and the demons roared. Shippou was instantly thrown back to the time when he had helped to fight against Naraku. He recalled all the countless fights where wave after wave of strange demons would be poured at them for the soul purpose of draining Miroku's energy and filing the kazaana. Now waves of demons were coming from the tree lines in their real forms, descending on the village as one large group.

There were snake demons, weasel demons, bat demons, demons of every animal imaginable were tearing down the hill intent solely on the destruction of the village.

Shippou took off on all fours, tail a bright puff behind him. He ran right to Kissaki's hut, and found his friends on their way out. They glanced at each other, and then the younger of the three looked to Kissaki to give them direction.

The demon slayers were already heading out to great the rush of people, spreading themselves apart so that they could try to break the wave of attackers. Kissaki pointed a spot for them and told them to head out… except for Shippou.

"But… but I need to help protect the city too!" he protested, tail quivering.

"You're too young!"

He glared up at her. "I'm older than you are!"

"Fine, you're too small then!" Kissaki snapped. She pointed to the onslaught of demons, many of which could have easily swallowed a man of Sesshoumaru-sama's size in one gulp. "What do you think you can possibly do against them?"

Shippou bit his bottom lip in an effort to keep from saying anything he would regret later. When he had gotten control of his anger, he glared up at her. "I was trained the same as you! I can fight just as well, and they can swallow you just as easily!"

"I'm not going to argue with you, Shippou! Get to safety!"

"If Arashi-sama were here, she'd let me fight!"

"Well you sister isn't here, so you'll deal with what I tell you to do!"

Kaede-chan burst in between them, wanting to keep the peace. "I know. Shippou, get the children and take them to Arashi-chan. Take them far away from the fighting." She knelt down so that her eyes were on the same level as his. "They'll listen to you because you're their size, Shippou. You have to get the children to safety."

"We won't need safety. We can win this." He pointed to the horde coming at them. "Look at it! Your father has beaten armies that size single handedly with his sword!"

Her face paled and she looked down at the sword she held helplessly. Kaede touched the hilt with a kind of reverence that Kissaki understood. Arashi-sama had held her mother's sword with that same reverence, and Sesshoumaru-sama had stroked my cheek with that same reverence. It was an action reserved for touching something that you wanted, but couldn't have.

"I'm not my father, Shippou. I can't use Tetsusaiga the way he did. If Miroku-sama were here and was a young man again, he could have used his wind-tunnel. If Sango-sama were here, she could have destroyed most of them from afar with her _hiraikotsu_. But they aren't here. None of them are here. It's just us, and no matter how much training we've gotten, we aren't as good as our parents. Why should we be? They had to fight to survive, pitted against Naraku. We don't. We've lived in peace." She turned to eye the mass of demons warily. "At least, we did until now."

Shippou lowered himself, eyes downcast. "I'll go and get the children and take them to Arashi-sama."

Kaede-chan smiled at him. "Thank you, Shippou."

With Shippou taken care of, the girls turned around and drew their weapons. They strode in matching steps towards the battle, both of them nervous, but excited. The horde of demons was still far away, but approaching quickly. Kissaki looked at her friend and blood-cousin.

"Kaede?" She looked up at her friend. "If it looks like we're going to lose, I want you to run away."

She stopped, staring with her pale blue eyes. Kissaki—brave, rash, impetuous Kissaki—suggesting running away? This was the same face she had watched growing up, trained beside, spent lonely nights without her parents counting Kissaki's faint freckles as other girls her age counted sheep to fall asleep. What had happened to Kissaki?

The other girl touched the sheath at Kaede's side. "You don't belong in this time, Kaede. No, don't look at me like this is some kind of a betrayal. This isn't your time period. You need to live through this to go home, and take that back to Uncle Inuyasha. He might have a little bit more control over his sanity with his age, but if Kagome were ever in danger…"

Her hand tightened around the sword. "I will return the sword to my father," she promised. "If it looks like we'll lose, I'll run away."

They embraced for a moment, and then they turned away from each other, and into the clash of swords and steel, while more houses collapsed into piles of rubble.

As soon as Kaede-chan stepped into range of the demons, they all turned to face her. The old sword in her hand pulsed with each violent beat of her heart, making her blood sing. They could feel her strangeness; they could tell that she was different than the others. They could feel the hidden power of her weapon. They could tell that she was stronger than the others, her serene face hiding a mask of ferocity. When they drew closer, they could smell it in the air. She was part demon.

With a roar of defiance, the demons which could smell her changed directions to go after her. She held the sword at the ready, waiting until the first demon was within striking distance. As soon as it was she lurched from her position and the rusted sword in her hands became a white beacon as it transformed into a claw. The demon was blinded and put up no resistance as her sword slid between the impossibly thick scales to pierce the demon's heart. It squawked and flailed and then fell to the ground, dead.

Kaede-chan landed on her feet nimbly and spun to meet the next demon, using her small size to cause the demons to tangle in and around one another in their efforts to devour her. From the vantage point atop the mountain of demons, she could see Kissaki fighting. Her cousin was holding her own. The _taijiyas_ were pushing back the human peasants fighting them. They were going to win, repel the invaders again. She could feel it. This Englishman named Cook did not have enough power to take this village…

But she had forgotten the cannons. They fired again, and watched as the demon slayers fighting close to her exploded in a shower of bone and dirt and grass. She screeched at the horror, and a giant arm from a demon knocked her into the ground so hard that for a moment she could not tell what was sky and what wasn't.

Cook had blown up his own men in order to stop the demon slayers.

He was a monster.

And then she reminded herself, that the men he had killed were Japanese allies who had sided with him. He wasn't killing his own men. He had simply killed men who were expendable guides and front-line fighters. He could get more, and if none would join him willingly, when he took the village he would force the men to join the ranks for the cost of lives of their wives.

Then the ground before Kissaki exploded. Kaede lost sight of her cousin amidst the shower of demon body parts and cloud of dirt and grass clumps. Kaede lurched forward to help her cousin, when another strike from a demon hit her chest and sent her flying again. This time she hit a building and slid down the side. Her sword lay within arms' reach, and when her vision cleared she saw that the dirt had cleared enough that she could see Kissaki's body on the ground, still and bloody.

There was nothing she could do for her cousin. She had made a promise to run, and return the sword to her father.

Kaede ran, but not before she picked her sword back up and made a final attack against the demons that were edging closer to Kissaki's body. Even if her cousin was dead, she wasn't going to let her body be desecrated by demons. As before, the very _need_ of the situation _pulled_ the power of the _kaze_ _no kizu_ out of her. Great bands of light arced through the air, tearing up the ground beneath it, and ripped the approaching demons to threads.

Exhausted, Kaede ran, knowing that if her father were here, Cook's campaign never would have won.

* * *

Tetsuya and Arashi-sama were at the graveyard when the attack started. They heard the cannon blasts and turned to the sound. They watched the houses vanish in tiny puffs of dust from the thatched roofs, heard the whistling of arrows and cannons through the air as they showered on the village.

Both of them wanted to run into the village to help. They could hear people crying, screaming, and wailing. But neither of them moved. They were both practical people. They knew that going into the city against Cook's full-out invasion was suicide. Nothing that they could do would turn the tides of war, but they knew that they would be needed in the aftermath. If the demon slayers lost the village, they would be there to take the land back. If the slayers won, they would be there to heal wounds.

Arashi-sama felt that her cheeks were wet. "My family is down there, Houshi-sama."

His hand crept into hers. The wind gusted, blowing her dark hair back and forth, and causing the pillars of smoke and fire from the battle beneath them to billow. The city was falling, and all the priest and priestess could do was wait for the smoke and fire to clear.

* * *

To be continued…


	17. Chapter 17

**-17-**

Arashi speaks:

_His hand was dry in mine. It was reassuring._

_The city, my home, was being torn apart and ripped to shreds as demons and humans alike poured through the narrow dirt streets, tearing down doors, breaking into huts. I could hear people screaming in pain. I could hear them wailing as they mourned for their fallen family members._

_And I, I did not go in for the sole reason that I knew I would die if I did. My presence, and the presence of Houshi-sama, would not sway the tides of battle. Perhaps if I were up to strength I would have been able to walk into the heart of my home, but I was not. _

_Some might call it cold, that I stood listening to those men and things tear through my home. Some might even think, given the way that they had teased me as a child, shied away from me because of my powers, that I secretly enjoyed it. I tell you now that what I heard, watching my home fall apart hut by hut, blow by blow, will haunt me until the end of my days. It is a horror I would not wish on anybody. _

_You may call it whatever term you wish, but I call my actions practical. Rushing headlong into battle will not help anyone. Kissaki-chan, my cousin, she will rush into battle, but not me._

_I feel, afterwards, that I remained for a reason. As Houshi-sama and I stood there, small dark forms came scurrying out from the underbrush._

_Some hand that had been squeezing my heart released a little when I recognized the shape. I dropped the hand that I had been holding. The shape in the lead, walking on all fours, rushed forward and threw itself at me. I clutched the small child to me, filled with such relief that uncontrolled tears rolled over my cheeks but as cherished as the boy I held._

"_Shippo!" _

_He sobbed against me, older than I, but still so much younger. His words were barely understandable. "Kissaki wouldn't let me fight. She said that I was too small. Kaede-chan told me to get the children out, so I did."_

_I looked passed him to the small band of children he had lead out of the village, using his superior sense of smell to find me at my mother's grave site. All of them were scared, frightened awake at the early hour, but when I opened my arms to them, they rushed me. The village children forgot their fear of me. They forgot the way their mothers had made them fear and respect me with stories like: 'Eat your vegetables or the village priestess will curse you', or 'Do your chores or the village priestess won't say any prayers for you'. They rushed me and hugged tightly to me, crying for their parents._

_Houshi-sama looked on, his cheeks red at the way I was suddenly swarming with children. I began hushing their fears, counting them. They were all very young children. The oldest of them had not yet seen seven summers, and the youngest of them was still not quite at the age to talk. That one I scooped up and placed in the houshi's arms to give him something to do._

"_We must find safety and shelter. The demons will begin searching the area for survivors when they're done in the village."_

"_How do you know that?" Houshi-sama asked. It wasn't a rude question, but curious, with the hope of someone who wanted to stay near shelter than risk the road. He had his staff, and I my mother's sword, and beyond that we had no provisions with which to travel._

"_Because," I told him a low voice the children would hopefully not hear, "demons eat flesh. It might take them a day or two, or it might take them an hour, but eventually they'll begin hunting for food. It would be wise to vacate the area before that happens."_

"_Where will we go?" asked Shippo. His tail shook with excitement. _

_I looked at the children, counting heads again. There were twelve children in all, thirteen when one counted Shippo. I tried to think of how many children were in the village still. The number was frightening and I pushed it away. I had twelve children to save now, and I would either mourn for the rest or save them later. I had to protect what I had now. I slowly looked at Houshi-sama._

"_We will go to Tetsuya-sama's village. From there, we will send word to Sesshoumaru-sama that the Englishmen have attacked us. He should send us aid to help retake the village."_

_No one spoke it, but they had all heard it in my voice. Sesshoumaru-sama _should _send aid. He had promised to protect us, and as such we had left him alone and given his castle part of what the farmers made, and weapons the slayers made. That was the cost of his protection. But Sesshoumaru-sama had long since hated humans, and this was a human village. Just because he should give us aid did not mean that he would._

_Picking up the next youngest child, leaving the others to walk on their own, I motioned for Houshi-sama to lead us to his home village. He would know the safest way. I watched the grip on his staff tighten and he changed the hold he had on the young boy in his arms so that he could protect himself with his staff if we were ambushed. Swallowing deeply, he began cutting a path through the underbrush with his body, leading us to the road._

_

* * *

_

Kaede speaks:

_God, I'm tired. How does Dad use the _kaze no kizu _without getting so tired? Mom says he could pound them out all day, like they were nothing, but even one from me leaves my knees wobbly._

_I try my best to get through the forest, but I can't see. I'm crying too much. I try to stop, but they won't go away. I yell at myself the way my dad would yell at me: You're a demon! Demons don't cry! Now suck it up, stand up, and _fight_! That makes it a bit better, but when I think of fighting, I think of Kissaki. And then I think of the way she fell, covered in blood. _

_I think I'm a coward._

_I know that she told me to run, and I do need to protect the sword. I mean, it's my inheritance! And since Dad isn't dead, it really belongs to him. But it's not like the demons could have destroyed it. I've never met anything that could destroy my grandfather's sword. And it's not like they could have taken it from me and used it, right? If a man was willing to destroy his own men and demons just to get a single little village, then I really doubt that he's going to want to use a sword to protect humans._

_I should have stayed and fought._

_I might have made it! I might have…_

_Aw, who'm I kidding? I wouldn't have made it. Even Kissaki didn't make it. Lord knows what happened to Arashi. I hope that Shippo got out in time, and saved some of the children. If I were lucky, I would have died like Kissaki. If I wasn't lucky…_

_I think of what the demons are doing to people and I lean against a tree, throwing up what remained from my supper last night, and I keep throwing up until I'm in dry heaves. I start to walk away and then recall my training and kick some dirt over the pile of vomit to try and hide it. Trust me, I don't think it would work, because it stinks even to me, and I'm only a quarter demon._

_And they knew it, too. As soon as I stepped out into the battlefield, I was a fucking homing beacon to the other demons. They knew I was different. They knew I was special. And they came after me for it. _

_I should have spent more time learning how to use a sword and less time in schoolwork. _

_Mom would kill me for that thought, but it's the truth. I don't need trigonometry or homework in the Sengoku Jidai. I need to know how to fight. I need to know how to defend myself._

_Where can I go? If I'm _that _special, if I'm _that _different, will the next village even take me? Or will they look at me and see that when I turn my head a little this way, there's a gold sheen to my eyes, and will they see I'm not quite like them?_

_I have to go somewhere. I have to tell _someone _that the village is gone._

_And then I realize who I need to tell. I'm so scared that I need to lean against a tree, head between my knees. _

_Uncle Sesshoumaru._

_Uncle Sesshoumaru needs to know about it. He's the one in charge of protecting the village. _

_And I think about the last time I saw him._

_Dad told me so many stories about my uncle, I couldn't quite believe all of them. I know he tried to kill my mom a few times, but who didn't when she was my age back then? My dad tried to kill her, Kikyou tried to kill her, pretty sure Aunt Sango would have tried to kill her when she was possessed with that frog demon, Uncle Sesshoumaru, I seem to recall a story about Kouga trying to kill her before he fell in love with her. Uncle Miroku tried to sleep with her, which I suppose is almost the same thing. And, of course, there was Naraku and all his bad guys._

_So I never thought that my Dad was serious about how Uncle hated humans. How could I when there were stories about Rin, too? It didn't make any sense at all. I just assumed that he was cranky, or that he was having a bad decade, trying to kill Mom._

_But then he had appeared, as beautiful as Mom told me he was, and tried to kill me. And I couldn't even fight him. I was too tired, and too damn scared. God, he had such power! He was flattening the grass around him with that energy! And I can only release on pathetic little _kaze_. If Rin hadn't been there…_

_Now I was supposed to go and march up to his castle door? What was I suppose to say: "Hi, Uncle, I know you hate me because of who my father is and what my mother is, but the demon slayer village was taken over by Englishmen, and it would really mean a lot to us all if you'd do your job and go save it before everyone they've captured is killed for food or for entertainment? Kthx, XO, bye."_

_No fucking way._

_I hear something coming from me from the trees. A lot of little some things. I grip my sword to protect myself, but instead children emerge from the underbrush, with them…_

"_Arashi! Shippo! Houshi-sama!"_

_I rush at Shippo, who gives me a squeeze and then climbs my shoulder where he can keep hugging my neck, perched there out of safety. I hug Arashi next, and I even give a hug to the monk, who turns such a deep shade of red that I think he's about to get a nose bleed. I turn back to Arashi._

"_Kissaki… she didn't make it, Cousin."_

_The news hits her like a hammer blow. Shippo grips to me tightly, and I feel him bury his face in my hair to hide his tears. Tetsuya-sama reaches out and steadies Arashi. She leans on him a moment, and then flinches, like she's doing something wrong by relying on him. She stands on her own two feet, even though she has to put down the little girl she's carrying to keep from losing her balance. When she blushingly glances at the monk, I know something's happened between them, but I don't pry. It's not my place to pry._

"_How?"_

"_A cannon. You know, one of the large blows that causes the dirt around it to explode from the impact when it lands." I can't remember if they had cannons in Nippon_ _back then. I feel bad explaining it and recant. "She was knocked away by the blast, and covered with blood. It's possible she might have lived, but there was so much blood…"_

"_And you ran?"_

_It's an accusation. I sheathe my sword and hold it up. "Kissaki told me to! She told me… told me I had to get this back to Daddy. I didn't want to go, but I made a promise to her that if the village looked like it was going to fall, I would escape."_

"_We held them off before once!"_

_I stare at her, pale blue eyes looking ghostly. I know it unnerves people when I look at them like that, and even Arashi finds it disquieting to see my mother's eyes staring at her. "We did, when we had you and the monk in the village, as well as an inutaisho and Rin. We lost forces then, and this time we were less two fighters, a monk, and a demon. And last time they didn't have cannons to blow up our family!"_

_She steps back. Another physical blow. "Kissaki… Gods above, I swear I will have that man's head mounted on my altar."_

_The monk grabs her arm. "Arashi-sama. Don't say such things!"_

_Arashi ignors his comment to look at me. "What about Kirara? Have you seen Kirara? She slept at Kissaki's last night."_

_I wonder why. I wonder if Kirara left the shrine because she knew that Tetsuya-sama was staying the night. Are they… sleeping together? Mom remained a priestess even after sleeping with Dad. I wonder why she didn't tell us about Tetsuya. We're family, after all. I might not be related to Arashi by blood like she is to Kissaki, but we're cousins all the same. We're the three musketeers of the Sengoku Jidai!_

_I shake my head no. "We were separated in battle. She was fighting on her own, in the air where Kissaki and I couldn't reach the demons. I think that means she was safe from the cannons, but… but I didn't see what happened to her."_

_Tetsuya interrupts, trying to make amends. _

"_Ladies, we must press on. We need to put as much distance as we can before night falls. The village is a day and a half away. I'm sure Kirara is fine, Arashi-sama. She's learned to take care of herself. At least Kaede-chan has found us. Between a monk, a priestess, a warrior and a kitsune, no one will harass us on the road."_

_Arashi-scoops up the child she had been holding a moment before. The little girl nuzzles into Arashi's clothes and shut her eyes. I think all of us want to do the same. We all need a hug. She looks at me. _

"_Rest, and then take a child yourself. If we carry the youngest, we can move faster."_

"_Right. So, where are we, ah, you know, going?" Please don't tell me we're going to see Uncle Sesshoumaru, I think._

"_To Tetsuya's village. From there, we can send word to Sesshoumaru-sama. Hopefully, he will send aid."_

_I pick up a little four year old kid and hoist them on my back, piggy back style. I'm tired, but I can keep going knowing I won't have to march to my uncle's castle and knock on the door myself. I feel like a wall has come down since telling Arashi about Kissaki. We can be strong together. We can mourn together later. That's the three musketeers for you._

_If Sesshoumaru doesn't send us help, I'll damn well swallow my fear and march up to the door and pack his sword for him myself. He has a right to uphold. If anything, Dad stressed that my uncle was all about upholding honour. I guess that's why the village agreed to follow him in the first place: he's cary_ _as hell, beautiful as an angel, strong beyond belief, but tempered with ideas of honor and right and wrong. Not fair, you know, because life is never fair, but Uncle knows the difference between right and wrong, even if his idea of what's right and what's wrong are a little bit different than, say, my Mom's._

"_Let's go then. We need to come back and make sure Kirara is okay."_

_I don't mention Kissaki. I don't think she made it._

_

* * *

_

Kissaki speaks:

_I was knocked out by the blow. I don't gain consciousness until some time has passed. Almost a whole day, in fact. In that time, the Captain has taken the village, recruited the men with the promise that their women won't be killed, killed a few women to make his point, and then set himself up in the temple like it was a throne room. The statues of Buddha, ancient relics, the sacred places where Arashi would sleep and eat her meals, are thrown out into the crowd to be melted down into war prizes, and her bed used for a celebratory party for Cook and a village girl._

_Surprise guess if you knew who it was._

_Yeah, bully for you. It's me._

_I fought back. He hit me, thinking that a few blows to the temple will stop me. Instead they made me nauseous and I threw up all over his shirt. That put an end to that attempt to rape me. So instead he has the demons find the prettiest girl they could and drag her up to his room. I get tossed, shackled, hungry, and still covered in blood, into a corner of the room to watch while he starts tearing off clothes off the poor girl._

_I know her. She hasn't even gotten her flows yet. Her cries excite her, and he takes her. I tried to stop him, I did, but he would just slap me down like an annoying animal. If I had stayed there and been good, he wouldn't have had to hurt her. She'd still be a virgin._

_Me? Who cares about me? I still would have been protecting Aunt Sango's village, the way I was supposed to. I never planned on getting married, not like the girl. She would always talk to me about how she wanted to have lots of babies when she got married. She would chatter on about how she hoped she loved her husband, so that she wouldn't mind going through the pain of childbirth to make him happy._

_That was the first night there. After he finished with her, he kicked the girl out and dragged me into the main room, chaining me to the altar in the sacred space, so that I wouldn't get too far away. I don't know why he singled me out._

_I found out the next morning. He was sitting on the altar. It had been converted into a makeshift throne for him. I was still chained to it, and depending on his mood, he'd either stroke my hair like I was a pet, or take my hair and bash my cheek into the altar until I lost consciousness. _

"_You look a lot like that priestess."_

"_Arashi." I spoke with a lisp. One of my teeth had been knocked out and I didn't know how to speak around the hole yet. I could smell the rice he was eating, the wine he was drinking. I licked my lips, hungry. I hadn't had breakfast the day of the attack. _

"_Yes, the priestess. My men haven't found her yet, so you will have to entertain me until I do. When I do, the things I will do to her!"_

_My heart soared. My cousin had made it out of the village. They would never find her. She was too smart for them._

_I was left in the shrine. They began counting up our food stocks, the food we had put away for the winter months and the monsoons, planning the next town they were going to take, taking stock of our weapons, of their gunpowder, and trying to figure out where they could get more._

_The captain also had a particular vice which I didn't understand. He went through the shrine repeatedly, looking for information on the Goshinboku. He would fly into rages when he couldn't find any. But I'm getting carried away. Those are things he did when he was working. When he wasn't working…_

_First, there was Kirara. She had been shot down, and when she returned to normal size, they placed her in a cage and had her hung up by the ceiling. She didn't even have enough room to stand, and they were going to starve her until she decided to side with them. Kirara would rather die than side with them, but we were in the same room, so at least I had someone to talk to when Cook was gone._

_Second, there was Nadia and Asuka. The two serving girls brought Cook his meals, and when Cook was off scouting the village—inspecting food and weapons—they brought me fresh water. _

_Asuka translated for the black girl. "Cook likes it when people resist him. He wants to hear you beg and scream. He's trying to starve you into sleeping with him. You must not let him break you, but we will understand it if you do." _

_Nadia turned around and exposed her back and her legs. She dropped them quickly, apparently ashamed and proud of them at the same time. Asuka placed a hand on the girl's arm, and her voice was filled with pride alone._

"_If you still say no after he has denied food to you, he will hurt you as he has hurt Nadia in order to make himself… aroused. If he does this, so long as you do not cry out, he will not be able to take you. It is only when you cry out that he will be physically ready to take you. Do you understand?"_

_I nodded. "I do."_

_Both girls smiled and gave me more water. _

"_We cannot risk bringing you rice, but water we can manage. He will not starve you. We will not let him."_

_I licked my dry lips. They had cracked and bled a little. "Why are you both doing this?"_

_The girls looked confused. "Doing what?"_

"_Helping me like this. Aren't you both putting yourselves in danger helping me?"_

_Asuka smiled. She didn't translate for Nadia. "We must make ourselves strong if we are to stand against him. Being united, helping one another regardless of cost, is what keeps us strong. One day, he will realize that he cannot break you, and you will no longer be chained to this altar. We would rather die than be under his heel. We will not let him take Nippon."_

"_Please…" I sighed and leaned my head against the altar. "Please, if you have some to spare, give some water to Kirara, too. She needs some more than I do."_

_Nadia stood up and spotted the little demon in the cage. She poured some water into her hand and then lifted her hand to the cage. It was the only way she could reach it. Most of the water trickled out between her fingers and landed on the floor, but Kirara licked and reached as far as she could. When she gave up, Nadia refilled her palm. She said something in a strange language that made Asuka giggle._

_They were prisoners of war, and yet she giggled. In this room, without Cook in it, she could regain her centre of being. She was no longer a prisoner, but herself. _

"_Silly," she chided Nadia. "That's a demon, not a god."_

_Nadia said something else and Asuka shrugged. "I suppose so."_

"_What? What did she say?"_

"_She said the she knows the cat is a demon, but that she has heard stories from the village about how the cat protects the women who rule this village. She said that any demon who works alongside humans, does not eat their flesh or drink their blood, and is as old as Kirara deserves to be called a god, and not demeaned into some evil spirit that preys upon man. She said that is the difference between being a god and a demon—how they use the powers granted to them."_

"_Did she really say that?" Asuka nodded. "Please tell her that it means a lot to both my friend and I to hear that."_

_Asuka smiled. "You have told her yourself. She can understand a little of our language, and more of it each day. I need to translate for her less and less." Nadia came over and placed a hand on her shoulder. The Japanese girl turned to kiss the dark fingers laying against her dress. "I only need to translate simple things for her because her pronunciation is so bad, but she understands what you say without me doing it for her. We must go now. Rest while you can. I doubt we will come back today, but we will return tomorrow with more water."_

"_Thank you, Asuka, Nadia."_

_Both girls smiled at me and left._

_I smiled a little myself and looked up at the cage that held Kirara. "You must be pretty pleased with yourself, having that girl call you a god." Kirara meowed, and I nodded. "Yeah, I'm getting to sleep. It's hard to sleep chained like this. Is your shoulder better, Kirara? Good. I can't wait until Arashi returns and we can kick their ass."_

_Cook returned that night. He tried to have his way with me again. He struck me and beat me in an effort to make me cry out until I lost consciousness. Then he gave up for the second night in a row. I was glad that I was the one who had been captured, and not my cousin Arashi. I was strong enough to survive anything he could throw at me, and if I did lose, losing my virginity would not destroy as much as me as it would have destroyed Arashi-chan._

_That was what I thought in the beginning. _

_It did not take Cook long to change my mind._

* * *

While my Lord and I were escaping from Cook, the Musashi's domain fell. The farmers were evicted from their homes. Families were torn apart. Women died at the hands of the demons to break the men into changing sides. People disappeared at night to satiate the demons. Houses were burned, crops turn up, and people lost everything.

But Arashi-sama and the others made it to the village. They sent word to my lord, and he indeed began mobilizing to come to their aid. It took another two days for the men to mobilize everything—to gather the men, the weapons, the armour, and the food we would need. I stayed out of the way, and the night before we were supposed to leave, my husband came to me again and took me into his arms.

I have not yet told you what it was like, being with him that night. My husband was gentle, and loving. When I looked down at the tanned hands around my waist and thought of how they could crush me with an ounce of the power they contained, it warmed my heart to have them resting on me so gently. He was a demon, but there was no doubt in my mind he loved me in the way a normal man might love a normal woman.

"If you need to be a little rough, I can bear it," I admitted to him.

Hatsuhana stopped undressing my robes to look at my face, and those beautiful hazel eyes of his were wounded. "Rough?" He sounded confused.

I blushed. "Women in the bath houses talk. Demons sometimes need it rough, I was told. They need to take something simply because they know it's theirs, but they need their bodies to know it too. I was taken from you. Should you need to exert yourself in order to assure yourself that I am still yours, I will understand and I can physically bear whatever power you need to release despite my age."

He slowly smiled, and we fell on our marriage bed, slipping together easily. My body shuddered with delight, and he reclined under me, pleased at the way I rocked back and forth against him in an effort to find a more comfortable position. "I _am_ taking you the way I want you. If I went fast, I would not have the time to make certain that every inch of you remains unharmed and whole."

Hatsuhana did indeed take his time. His fingers, lips, and tongue explored every inch of me, until at last I wanted him so badly every time his skin touched mine I felt myself shiver with anticipation. His dark hair clung to his forehead as he leaned over me.

"I do not want you going into battle with us."

"What?"

"Promise me you will not go into battle with us. Remain here at the castle where it's safe. Stay here with Hikari. Stay where it's safe."

"Never. My place is at my lord's side."

Hurt and pain turned his face lonely and hard for a moment. He sighed, leaning his head so that his cheek rested on the curve of my breast. His breath burned my skin, and froze it when he inhaled. Slowly the eyes closed, his other hand still stroking my other breast fondly. "Why do I think that 'my lord' refers to my cousin and not me, despite being your husband?"

"Because it does, Hatsuhana."

"I have asked politely." There was a faint pout to his lips. "What would you do if I made it a command from man to wife?"

I thought about it a moment. "I would disobey it. My place has always been and will always be at my lord's side."

"Is there any way that I can keep you from marching with the army?"

"Yes. You can break my legs, so that I can not walk. Then, you can break my arms, so that I cannot use crutches. Then you would have to silence me by cutting out my tongue or sewing shut my lips so that I could no longer speak and act as liaison between human and demons. Unable to speak and unable to fight, I would be useless to Sesshoumaru-sama then, and I would remain here."

My husband sighed. I knew he would not hurt me. "And if I tried bribery, telling you that I would not finish what we have started tonight if you did not promise me that you would remain here with Hikari?"

"Then I would leave. There is nothing we have started here that I could not finish on my own, and I would not sleep with any man who used sex as a way to manipulate people into doing what he wants them to do."

Another sigh, but there was also the tiniest smile hiding in the corners of his mouth, and the smallest hint of respect in his eyes when he looked up at me. "If there is nothing I can do to deter you, perhaps we should finish?"

"Perhaps we should."

As we lay, naked and wrapped in and around each other, I asked, "Why are you so adamant I remain here? Are you simply trying to protect me?"

"I don't want to see you hurt," came the muffled response, from the face buried in my short, mauled hair. His arms tightened around me and he breathed in my scent, memorizing it. "I'm frightened some stray arrow will find your heart, some demon might be a little too quick for Sesshy's training, and I'm frightened of the image a woman in the front lines will say to the men on our side. There's only one type of women that follow men into battle, Rin."

"A warrior."

"No, a prostitute. They know the men in the camp will need… tending, and so they follow around the army, providing their services for protection and food. To lose you to death would be a terrible thing, Rin, but I knew when I married you that one day I would be placing you in a grave while I was still young—but to lose you to a man in our tents, drunk and thinking you were someone else, to know another man had touched you and violated you… no blow would be worse than the knowledge that I failed to protect you from something you had kept safe on your own for so long. To think that another man may have… have _violated_ my wife… no pain would be greater than that."

When I was still in his arms, my husband thought I had fallen asleep, and slept himself. He did not know I lay awake, staring at the ceiling, thinking. Even if I loved the man… even if the feelings had been reciprocated and it would not be rape, would Hatsuhana still feel so hurt?

_No pain would be greater than that_… I was a fool. If he knew that his deepest fears had already happened, that it had been reciprocated, and it had been with his _cousin_ of all people…

'Foolish Hatsuhana… the pain would be greater.'

I had betrayed my husband, and if he ever found out about it, that knowledge would drive into his heart like a dagger, and pierce the fabric of his soul, tearing apart all the humanity, compassion, and sensitivity that made me love him.

I had to ensure he never found out.

* * *

To be continued...


	18. Chapter 18

**-18-**

"Where is my fan?"

Hatsuhana paused, tying his kimono. He shrugged, but not coldheartedly. "I'm afraid I haven't seen it, Rin."

I frowned, and went back to tearing through our quarters. We had not been living together long, and most of our belongings had been put away by servants when we were given a room in the castle as a married couple. I had no idea where anything was anymore.

"I can't leave without being armed," I sighed, and took a long look at Hatsuhana. His long hair was tucked under his kimono and getting tangled. I pursed my lips and crossed the room to him, gently pulled his hair out from the back of his clothing, and then reaching for a comb for his hair. He tried to pull away, but a stubborn grip in his hair prevented it.

"You don't have to do that, Rin."

"Brush your hair? I want to." I began gently brushing out the tangles he had put into his hair by getting dressed, and then began to braid it so it would stay out of his way while we travelled. The slender hairs were impossibly strong in my hand. Demon hair was, like the rest of the man, tougher than human hair. His hair was such a beautiful color, too: rich, dark browns, the faintest hints of bronze and gold. "I wish you could return the favour for me."

I knew he was smiling fondly, remembering the long hair I had before I had been captured by the Englishman Cook. "When your hair grows back, I will brush it for you whenever you wish."

"That would be kind of you… Hatsuhana, are you certain you didn't perhaps move my weapons so that I would remain here, having no way to defend myself?"

He turned then, and I knew my question, no matter how innocently asked, had insulted and hurt him. "Rin, I would never do that."

"I know, I…"

"I took your weapons." We both turned at the voice to se Hikari standing in the doorway of the room. She hung her head demurely, but her stance was aggressive. Her hair was elegantly coifed, her lips painted perfectly in red. "I apologize for opening the door without asking entry, first, but I heard raised voices and I did not want your argument to escalate when I was the one responsible.

"That's fine, Hikari-san."

"May I please speak with your wife in private, Hatsuhana-sama?"

He nodded, and his hand pressed against my shoulder for a moment before he finished dressing quickly and left, still equipping himself with his own sword. I knew what the gesture had meant. He did not hold my question against him, and knew that it had been asked out of frustration and desperation. My husband was quick to forgive me, and would not bring the matter up again. I had truly found a good man—demon—in him.

I remained standing when my lord's wife walked into my bedroom. "Hikari… you had my weapons?"

A smile faintly touched her lips, and even under the powder that turned her cheeks the color of porcelain, I could see a faint blush. "I had the servants take them from your rooms when I learned my husband intended to take you with him on this journey. I had them sharpened and cleaned for you so that they would be ready for you. Since you can no longer wear hairpins as an extra weapon, I wanted to ensure that your fan and _wakazashi_ were in fit condition."

She was trying to help me. I took the fan from her, placing it in the back of my belt. The weight there had changed subtly, but it was still familiar and made me feel safe. Then I wrapped my arms around the larger woman and held her tightly. She held me back, both of us worried for the safety of one individual. When she spoke, her ruby lips brushed my shorn hair.

"I know how my lord feels about you, Rin." She felt my flinch in her arms. The flinch confirmed that I was well aware of it, too, and scared that someone else knew. Her grip tightened around me, and I found myself not in the arms of a friend, but of a demoness. She could crush me before I would have time to scream for help or reach for the fan I had tucked away in my _obi_. "Don't worry, Rin. I'm not angry."

"You… you aren't?"

Her grip relaxed and she lifted her head from mine. She was breathing deeply, and I knew she could smell my fear. Her body seemed to be deciding if I was prey or a friend, but her eyes remained kind to me, as they always had been. I called Hikari friend, and she did the same for me, but she was so much older than I, so much stronger than I, it was much more akin to the way a man would call his dog his best friend than the camaraderie I shared with Kohaku, who _was_ my best friend.

"I love him, too. He is the type of person who commands respect. When you have known my husband longer than I have, then how can I be jealous when his nature is either to reign through love or fear? I have no quarrel with you, and if I did, I should be jealous of the whole _court_ for the way they worship him!"

I laughed nervously. "Why do I feel as if there's a 'however' in there, Hikari-san?"

"Because there is, Rin. I cannot find fault with you for how you feel about him, but I can find fault with my husband. You are… precocious, and precious, and that is why Hatsuhana loves you as a man, and I love you as a young sister, and perhaps that is why my husband cares for you too, but I fault him for marrying me out of necessity when his heart has already been broken by someone else."

What she said came as a shock. "Broken? I…"

"No," she agreed, before I had even asked the question. "It was nothing you did. When he forced you to wed his cousin and tore up your flower bed, he tore out what remained in his own heart. He broke it himself, and I have noticed the difference in him. I think no one but a woman who slept with him before and after your wedding would have noticed the difference, but… but I did."

"Why are you telling me all this, Hikari?"

She sighed, smiling at the same time. "Because my friend and my husband will be going into battle together, while I remain here. I am with child, Rin. I will not endanger my lord's child simply so that I can go into battle with him, and someone must look after the home. I will keep this home safe so that there will be a home to come home to. But because my lord loves you and wants to keep you safe, he will not let you tread far from him."

Her hands found mine and she raised them, squeezing them gently. Her hands were as callused as mine, no matter how queenly she seemed in appearance. Hikari was practical and not afraid of hard work. "Please, keep him safe for me, Rin. I do not want to tell my child his father is dead."

I straightened. "If by my life or death I will keep him safe, I will not hesitate."

"Thank you." She released my hands. "I'm afraid that even though I know I do not have his heart, and will likely never have it, I do love him. I don't care if he never loves me back."

I smiled faintly. "Hikari, I don't know if you want to hear this, but I assure that I feel exactly the same way. Sesshoumaru-sama may have loved me once upon a time, but he no longer can afford to love me now that I am married to Hatsuhana-sama."

She laughed. "Sesshomaru-sama seems to be able to only love one person… himself. Stubborn and self-centered as he may be, thank you for promising to bring him back to me safely. I would ask you to watch out for yourself, too, but you have Hatsushana-sama to watch your back in battle. He loves you greatly, Rin. I can see it when he looks at you."

I remember how desperately he tried to keep me safe. He did love me, and care for my well-being, but sometimes he didn't seem to understand me. How could Hikari see my love for Sesshoumaru-sama when Hatsuhana couldn't? Was he too blinded by the way he doted upon me? Probably, I thought.

"The party will be moving out within the hour. You are all packed and ready to go?"

I touched my _obi_, and the _wakazashi_ hidden in my sleeve, straightening. "I am ready."

* * *

A demon moves quickly, and could have made the journey within a day. A demon army, on the other hand, moved at a snail's pace. They have human followers, a lot of equipment, and it takes a long time to stop, set up camp, and see to the needs of all those people. It would take us a week to get to Musashi's domain, providing we awoke with the dawn every morning, packed, travelled until noon for a brief stop, and then stopped when dusk began, into our bedrolls by nightfall.

A week.

The village could be destroyed by then, burned to ashes. I tried not to think about it.

On the first night out, a tent was put up for Hatsuhana and myself. Most of the men, the footsoldiers, slept out in the open. As the only married couple in the camp, and I as one of the few women, we were awarded special privileges, such as the tent. Night found us inside Sesshomaru-sama's tent, however, as we began preparing for the coming battle.

The most familiar with the village, I gave them all the information I could regarding the layout of the buildings, the village's natural fortifactions, and the resources at the disposal of whatever army held it. We stayed up late in that tent, Hatsuhana, Sesshoumaru-sama, and myself, pouring over maps and lists and notes. The years apart had been kind to my husband and his cousin. As they worked together, they began finishing each other's thoughts and questions, disputing attacks and tactics in such detail that even I became bored.

"The shrine rests upon a hill. No doubt they will drag the cannons up there, where they will be able to use the height to reach a wider array of targets," Hatsuhana told Sesshoumaru-sama.

"What kind of damage will they do?"

"It depends how close you are to them. They don't explode on landing, but they do cause a shockwave which can rupture the things around it… shrapnel will knock people unconscious or even kill them if they are hit somewhere vital, but they are slow to reload. No, the real danger will be their guns—the weapons which gave you that chest wound when you saved my Rin."

My heart danced with happiness. My Rin. They had a pleasant ring to it, particularly when they came from such a handsome and charming man… But my gaze flickered to my lord, and I noticed a glassy haze cross his features. He did not like his cousin being so possessive with me. Thankfully, my husband neither saw nor felt the rising animosity.

"Can you predict, having encountered men like these before, how many guns they may have with them?"

He shook his head. "No. We best tell all fighters in the camps to beware of these weapons. They are faster than a sword or dagger, and the damage they cause when the projectiles break the skin is too great to be healed immediately. A demon can survive the hit, but not without time and care."

"Sesshoumaru-sama will see it is taken care of. Now, the… Rin? Rin."

I snapped awake. I had begun falling asleep, my head slowly slumping forward until it nearly touched my arms folded around me. I yawned, failing to hide my fatigue. "I'm sorry, Sesshoumaru-sama. What is it that you need of me?'

He stared at me a moment, and the smile appeared in his eyes. He would not allow it to reach his lips while my husband was in the room, watching us. "You are falling asleep, Rin. Hatsuhana and I don't need you. Why don't you take my bed until we're done for the night?"

Silence in the room. Hatsuhana stared at his cousin without malice or inquiry… but I could sense it from him nonetheless. This was not something Sesshoumaru-sama would normally offer. This was not the man he remembered leaving when he fled Nippon, fearing his cousin's wrath. Hatsuhana was aware that something had changed in him…

I accepted the offer, if only to remove myself from those two men. The tension between them was high. Laying on the mat that served as Sesshoumaru's bed, a section of the curtain drawn to give me privacy, I could still hear them talk.

"She could have gone back to _our_ tent."

"The thought had occurred to Sesshoumaru-sama, but Sesshoumaru-sama didn't want to have her walking around the camp at night. Loyal followers or not, it isn't exactly safe for a lone women to head back to your tent unescorted." He paused to look down at the map, studying it, and then absentmindedly added, "I won't have Rin hurt again."

"Since when do you let human girls get their human scents—_stink_, as I believe you referred to it before—all over your bed?"

"Since the human _woman_ in question was kidnapped and assaulted. I've become accustomed to Rin's scent. I have known her longer than you have, after all. Humans _do_ stink but I suppose that time has made me used to this particular one."

Smell. I leaned my face into the clothes on the bed, and breathed in deeply. There was no smell of Sesshoumaru-sama on the blankets nor the bed. Of course, I realized, he hasn't used it yet. It wouldn't start to smell like him until he'd actually had the chance to sleep in his bed. Clean linens, and he was letting me get my scent all over them…

When he came to bed, would he press his face into the sheets like I did, as he fell asleep, savouring my scent? Would he be too tired to care either way? Was this his small way of continuing what we had started, this infatuation, when he had been shot?

I was already drifting off to sleep, imagining my lord falling asleep and dreaming of me.

On the other side of the curtain, Hatsuhana laughed once, all the bitterness in his body emerging with the single sound. "You whoring, heartless son of a _bitch_," he spat. My lord bristled, but didn't fight the statement. His mother _was_ a bitch, although calling Sesshoumaru-sama a whore had perhaps been going a little bit too far. "You let me marry her, when you're in love with her."

"Pardon me?"

"That's the real reason you're letting Rin use your bed. You don't care if her scent gets all over because you _prefer_ her scent to be there. You're in love with her."

Hatsuhana was more observant, perhaps more knowing to his cousin's ways, than Hikari. She knew that Sesshoumaru-sama loved me, but not that he was _in_ love with me. I do not truly believe that Sesshoumaru-sama was _in_ love with me, although it is a pleasant day dream, so either my husband saw something neither Hikari nor I had, or in his anger he was rushing to the worst possible conclusions.

"Watch what you say and how loud you say it, Hatsuhana. I will not tolerate open treason."

"You're just like Uncle!" Sesshoumaru-sama's eyes flashed molten gold, and Hatsuhana lifted his hands in surrender, sighing. "I don't mean that comment to start a fight, Cousin, I mean it as a fact. You know I have no qualms with you if you find yourself falling in love with a human, because I truly think that is the way that we were meant to be paired up. The physically strong must protect the physically weak, while the humans give us the love and shelter we do not always find among our own kind.

"What I _do_ have a problem with," he continued, his kind voice turning into a low growl, "is the fact that the human you have chosen to love is _my wife_."

My lord snorted and gave his head his shake, making his lustrous hair sparkle in the candlelight. "Demons do not have the same sense of monogamy that humans do. I am allowed to want your wife, by our laws, and if both of you are allowing of it, I may even take her." He suddenly grinned, and the smile was cruel. It did not reach his gold eyes, which remained detached and cold. "Perhaps I shall go and take her now. Do you have a problem with that, _Cousin_?"

"Yes, I have a problem with that! Do not _toy_ with my wife, Sesshoumaru. Don't _ever _lay a hand on her in a manner unbecoming of a cousin touching another cousin."

He leaned over the table, still grinning. "Or you will do _what_, Cousin?"

The answer he wanted to give, the answer someone as rash as Inuyasha would have given, was that he would kill Sesshoumaru-sama for touching his wife. It was the threat most people gave. It was also the answer that would give my lord justification for calling in his guards and having them arrest Hatsuhana for threatening their king, and my husband knew it.

He glared back at Sesshoumaru-sama. "Once this battle is finished, I will take Rin far away. We will go travelling and explore distant lands… _very_ distant lands, where you cannot lust after her, or covet what I will not allow you to have."

The glare vanished and Sesshoumaru-sama turned back to the maps and charts laid out before them with a sigh. "After this battle," he echoed, mournfully. "Damn you for not being more of a coward, Hatsuhana. A coward would not wait by me loyally for this battle to end, but would have taken Rin right this very moment, and left before putting her in danger."

* * *

Sesshomaru-sama slipped into his bed sheets and rested his head against his pillows. Taking a deep breath, he prepared himself for slumber, but stopped and stared at the ceiling when the scent—_my _scent—from the sheets and pillows resonated with him.

'Rin.'

Hatsuhana was planning on taking me away. Sesshoumaru-sama allowed himself to relax and enjoy the scents that clung to his bed rather than become distraught by them. He would not subject himself to fighting as an attempt to keep me in Nippon; if Hatushana wanted to take me away, then Sesshoumaru-sama would let him. To try and persuade otherwise would only demean himself and reveal how much he truly cared for me. He would not allow himself to openly love and desire a human woman. He would not become his father.

'Rin… if Hatsuhana takes you away, your years left may be so few, Sesshoumaru-sama may never see you again…'

Such was the problem with human lives. Compared to the lifespan a demon may have, human beings are nothing more than butterflies, which blossom from brawling children into fully grown adults so quickly it seems to happen overnight, shine briefly as adults, and then wither and die.

It was not a thought which Sesshomaru-sama liked. Although our years together were few compared to the number of years he had been on his own or travelling with Jaken, it had become long enough that he found himself wondering how he would function without me when I was gone.

To be certain, he functioned well enough on his own. He could run the affairs of state without me, fight without me, dance the intricacies of court politics without me, and while I remain convinced that he would consider it an annoyance, he could learn to interact with humans without me. No, what he wondered was whom he would look to for a smile in the morning, who would spend time with him in simple discussions of mathematics or literature, and otherwise be a bright spot in his life to remind him that lord though he may be, he was also a man and sometimes needed to indulge in simple things in life.

One would first think of Hikari to fill my role, but they were still getting to know one another, although it was clear that Hikari-chan thought the world of him. She was strong and independent, and although she had a soft streak through her which made her—like my husband—sometimes feel more human than demon she would keep that part of her hidden from Sesshomaru-sama until they learned to be emotionally intimate with one another.

There was only one thing which Sesshomaru-sama could think of doing. He was going to treasure the rest of our time together until I became so ingrained in his memory that those memories should never tarnish or fade.

Each night as we travelled I once again found myself in his tent with my husband, and occasionally other demons, such as Kouga or Jaken, discussing strategies, the status of the camp and our men, equipment, and all other things one might need to discuss in war. Although the demons could run quite well on only a few hours sleep, some of them even being predominantly nocturnal, I was not. My older human body could not keep up with demons still seemingly in the prime of their lives.

Each night my lord would lend me the use of his pillow and mattress once I was unable to remain awake. Sometimes a demon would rouse me in order to ask a question about humans—the layout of the village, a name, how the humans would react to various strategies—and sometimes they asked about my time with Captain Cook—the number of men I saw, the layout of their camp, important men who may be taken hostage—thus keeping up the appearance that Sesshoumaru-sama would not send me to my own tent because he needed to keep me easily accessible for information.

Then, each night when the demons finally left and he retired to his bed, Sesshomaru-sama would find my scent still lingering there, and he would fall asleep to it, as he had when we were alone in that cavern.

My husband would carry me back to our tent, most nights, and there we would fall in bed together, too exhausted to do anything but lay entwined together. Sometimes, when the worry that something bad might happen to me, my husband would pet and stroke me in the mornings, kissing my face lightly until I awoke, nuzzling my neck, or simply watching the way the sunlight streaming through the window turned my skin a pale gold, the darkness of my short hair lining with silver, and the lines easing from my face with a smile hello. Sometimes I would respond in kind, remarking how to sunlight turned _his_ pale skin silver and tinged his hair with gold, as if we were the Chinese symbols the yin and the yang. He smiled, delighted with the image, and would kiss me so thoroughly that I knew he loved me with every fibre of his being.

We came upon the village after several days of travelling, burdened with our war equipment and with the problem of setting up and taking down camp every day. The village was walled for protection, and our army remained outside the walls. There simply would not be room for everyone inside. Within an hour of appearing at their gates, a messenger appeared on horseback. I did not tell Sesshoumaru-sama that it had taken the rider so long to approach us because they no doubt had trouble finding a messenger (and horse) brave enough to venture into an army of demons.

The man's horse reared, and he quickly controlled it, looking mollified. Slipping from his horse, he led the mare by the reins. "Where can I find the leader of this camp?"

The men directed him to my tent. He stared down at me in shock, and I wished I had my long hair again. I felt indecent standing in front of him looking more like a prostitute than anything else.

"_You _lead these men?"

"I do not, but I will deal with you. Occassionally humans find dealing with my lord Sesshoumaru unnerving. I will relay whatever message you have brought for us while you remain here, with my husband." I gestured to Hatsuhana at my side and then folded my arms, my hands disappearing into the long sleeves of my _yukata_. My fingertips reassuringly touched the hilt of the wakazashi hidden up my sleeve, ensuring it was accessible in case the man attacked. "Now, what message have you brought us?"

He looked weary, but acquiesced. "I bring a message from Shinji-sama. He invites your lord and his officers to dine with him at his home tonight while they discuss war plans."

"I will pass on the message."

As it would be rude not to accept, dinner that evening found myself, Sesshoumaru-sama, Hatsuhana-sama, Kouga-sama and a few other humanoid demons at Lord Shinji's mansion. We arrived unarmed, save myself bearing my fan. Hatsuhana was brought along as he was my lord's cousin and a brilliant tactician himself, with his cousin's head for numbers. Kouga was brought along in case Shinji had become a turncoat and a brawl broke out. The others had come as important members of parliament and whose forces made up a large part of our army.

Jaken had wanted to come, but I had vociferously argued against it. The humans would be scared enough with the demon army surrounding their city, even if the army was an ally. It would be best, I argued, to bring only demons capable of assuming human form. The humans would feel better interacting with something that looked human rather than a humanoid talking frog.

Lord Shinji was, most of the time, a good and honest lord. I had dealt with him much in the past. My suspicion that it might be a trap was due solely to his nature. Neither a kind, saintly soul, nor a tyrant, he indulged in expensive things. The painted walls of the mansion overlooking the walled city were modestly adorned with gold filigree to accent the light filtering through painted tree limbs or to give life to a pretty bird in flight. His love of rich, expensive food had given his square face a rounded edge, and his wife shared the same indulgence. If the cost was high enough, I wondered, could Shinji agree to side with the foreigners?

He smiled when we walked in, spreading his arms wide in welcome. "Come in! Come in!"

Beside him at the low table, his wife suddenly gasped and used her fan to cover her mouth. "Lady _Rin_? Goodness me! Whatever happened to your hair?"

I was in the front of our procession. I grinned, enjoying the shock on her face. At least I was not the only one who found my new haircut unsettling, although my husband had told me that it brought attention to my eyes. "I shall explain over dinner, my lady. Lord Shinji, Lady Usagi, you remember Hatsuhana-sama?"

"Of course!" came the loud response from Shinji.

Usgai's fan fluttered a little. "How could we forget such a charming huma… demon? Welcome back to our table, Hatsuhana-sama. Recently I have heard that you and Lady Rin became married. I would congratulate you on your marriage, but I am concerned by the news brought to my about Mushin's Village. It seems disrespectable to be celebrating marriages when so many of our kind are dying, and such danger threatens us. May we remedy it soon so that happier, safer times may befall you both."

Hatsuhana smiled at their words and inclined his head graciously. We both liked Lady Usagi. A trifle stifling at times, and a bit of a gossip, she was the very embodiment of a politician's wife: able to charm men into relaxing and giving up information they would not have otherwise, and smoothing tense situations with no more than a few simple inquiries into the health of a man's wife or children.

Since they had already met my husband when I showed him Nippon before we were wedded, I introduced my lord next. Behind her fan, Usagi's blush slowly crept up to her eyes as she regarded Sesshoumaru-sama: the slope of his shoulders, the grace of his bow, the cut of his clothing… When he spoke in greeting to them, I think she nearly melted away.

"Sesshoumaru-sama appreciates your hospitality."

Sesshomaru-sama does not have Lady Usagi's subtle social nuances.

"And so you are the man to whom Lady Rin convinced us to swear fealty…" Shinji eyed him openly. My lord ignored the inspection. He opened his mouth to speak further, but his wife stopped him with a gentle hand on his.

"Shinji-sama, I'm certain that they are tired and hungry. Allow Rin-sama to finish the introductions so that we may bring out the food and drinks, and then perhaps Lord Sesshoumaru will allow you to pester him with talk politics and war." Sesshoumaru-sama's gaze flickered to me for an instance, and my eyes smiled back. He recognized which of our hosts truly held the power, and was beginning to appreciate the way women could be such discrete politicians.

"You are quite right, Usagi. Rin, pardon our inquisitiveness. Please, finish the introductions so that we may make ours and then bring out the food!"

My introductions did not take very long, and neither did theirs. We settled in around the long rows of low tables while servants brought out bowls of steaming rice and began pouring tea for us. Usagi watched the demons nervously.

"I'm afraid we didn't know what to have the servants make once we knew you were approaching," she admitted to Kouga. "I was told that demons can live off of human foods quite easily, though they receive the most nutrition from red meat."

"Where did you learn that?" Kouga inquired.

"From two of the survivors of the attack on Mushin's Village."

"How many did survive?" Hatsuhana asked after a tense moment. He had felt me tense beside him. We knew that there had been survivors, but not how many there had been.

Usagi frowned gently and shook her head. "Not very many, unfortunately. We hope that there may be more who live in the village still. There were sixteen survivors: twelve children, the village priestess, one of our priests who had been there visiting, a demon boy, and a human girl."

Twelve children. Arashi-sama. Tetsuya-sama. Shippo-kun. And… who? I could think of many girls from that village, and two in particular who were high on that list: Kissaki and Kaede-chan. I glanced sidelong at Sesshoumaru-sama, keeping my elation at those who survived and my worry over those who did not hidden from my face. My lord's face was impassive, and I wondered if he had realized this may mean that Captain Cook possessed Tetsusaiga.

"They will be joining us for the second course shortly," Shinji said, unaware of the sudden tension in the room. Most of the demons were curious over the salvation of a demon child from the _taijiya_ camp. I suppose they thought the stories of the demons and the humans working together to be a simple fairy tale. They did not actually know that there had been demons in the demon slayer's village working alongside them. "At least the adults will, anyway. The demon is but a small boy, and I thought that politics might bore him. The women needed some convincing to come and join us for dinner, and then needed time to find something fashionable to wear for meeting such guests as you! Then, once my wife did convince them to join us for dinner, one of them refused to come unless she was allowed into the hall armed. I thought it terrible to come armed to the table, but it turns out the sword is an antique and so rusty that I doubt it could even cut rice paper!"

"That child," Hatsuhana pointed out before anyone else could, "is probably older than you are, Lord Shinji. We demons do not always age quickly."

Sesshoumaru-sama was quiet and tense. He had just figured out which girl was about to walk into the dining hall, and I echoed his emotions. Perhaps I could end the entire dinner by feigning food poisoning? There was such a knot in my stomach, I doubted that vomiting would even have to be faked. It was no wonder that Kaede-chan would not allow herself to walk into the room unarmed, given the man sitting next to me!

Guilty, fearing that he had made some kind of error by not inviting Shippo-kun to the dinner, when the door to the dining hall slide open, he quickly drew attention to it. "Ah! Here there are! May I present Tetsuya-sama, Arashi-sama, and Kaede-sama."

Tetsuya-sama looked as he always did. Arashi-sama did as well, though worn around the edges. She appeared to be swallowed by the robes she wore—robes of a monk, and not those of a priestess. With no clean clothes left to mark her office, she had donned some of Tetsuya's old clothes, or perhaps those of one of his fellow Buddhists. Kaede, however… She was wearing an old _yukata_ of Usagi's, her hair done up nicely and face painted. She looked stunning, and not at all like the girl I recalled from the village.

Instantly the demons reacted. Most of them stood up, preparing to attack, unsheathing claws and revealing teeth they had kept hidden. At the head table, Usagi and Shinji paled, frightened by the sudden display. Kaede's hand rested on her sword, preparing to draw. The demons glanced to their lord for the signal to attack and our hosts and their other human guests back away from them in fear, thoughts of fleeing clear… but my lord simply reached for his cup of tea and took a sip.

"Sit down. We will not shed blood in the house of our host."

The command was swift and brutal. Though they did not like it, the other demons sat back down and the fangs and teeth among them slowly disappeared. Kouga was openly worried, his blue eyes stuck on Kaede-chan, and Hatsuhana appeared simply guilty as the other demon lords shot them angry expressions. They understood by their reaction that Kouga and Hatsuhana had known exactly what Kaede-chan was and yet had done nothing to end the life of someone they considered an abomination. The humans were slowly settling back in, hiding their hands to keep their shaking fingers a secret.

"I'm sorry!" Kaede-chan blurted out to my lord, drawing attention to herself. "I didn't really mean to be any trouble! Really! Please accept my apologies, Uncle Sesshoumaru!"

Silence around the table. Even the humans were astounded at the new development. Sesshoumaru-sama's men slowly turned to look at him, rebellion in their eyes. A quarter-demon, alive and an adult, and familiar enough to refer to him by name? And he had stopped them from killing her? They were positively murderous.

One of the older demons saw the sword she was clutching to herself and his jaw dropped. "Sesshomaru-sama, that's…!" His statement was cut off when he inspected the girl again, looking for signs of a demon lord hiding in her soft, human features. They had figured out that 'Uncle Sesshomaru' was not just some common attempt at an honorarium, but was an actual declaration of their relationship. "But your brother… Oh for… Inuyasha had a daughter? Inuyasha can _breed_?"

Kaede glared at him, scared as she was. Someone at the table hissed. It did not seem long ago to them that it had been Inuyasha glaring at them with that same expression. "Yes, my father can _breed_, you insensitive lout! You wouldn't even have known I was here if I hadn't been trussed up and dragged to this shindig when I'd much rather be still in mourning for Kissaki-chan! If you have a problem with what I am, then let's take this outside and I'll show you that I might not be as good with Tetsusaiga as my father was, but I'm still strong enough to whip you around the courtyard once or twice, you sack of old bones!"

Someone on the demon's side of the tables stifled a laugh by turning it into a cough. "Well, she has a strange way of talking, but she does sound like Inuyasha with all that barking."

Usagi smiled brightly, trying to bring order back to their nearly disasterous dinner. "More tea anyone?"

* * *

_To be continued... I love Usagi. Totally worth waiting for._


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Dinner was a tense affair. I noticed that Kaede-chan was so tense she didn't touch her food. Arashi-sama was no better. Tetsuya ate, and chatted happily with others at the table, but nothing could break the tension in the air, as much as people tried. Even I tried. Even Hatsuhana tried. The demons had lost respect for Sesshoumaru-sama because of what had happened with his niece. The humans were scared. Arashi-sama worried for her friend, and Kaede-chan knew that every demon at the table save for my husband and Kouga wanted her dead because they considered her an abomination.

"Well that was a pleasant evening," our host said at the end. He alone had been oblivious to what had transpired that dinner. Lord Shinji leaned back a little, loosening his belt. "I do not think I could even eat another bite."

Usagi smiled thinly. Her eyes never left Sesshoumaru-sama, but her gaze was not filled with lust, despite my lord's good looks. She gazed at him as if worried that he would besmirch their names as host and hostess by lunging across the table and killing Kaede-chan where she sat.

"Kaede." The voice rippled across the room, drawing attention to Sesshoumaru-sama with the power of whispers. He openly showed disrespect to her, addressing her by her first name, but I think that may have been part of the point. I think, too, that he didn't know what else to call her. He refused to call her 'niece', to affirm their blood relationship. "You will come to our camp tomorrow morning."

The wise thing for Kaede-chan to do would have been to remain quiet and nod. Instead she asked, "Why?"

Sesshoumaru-sama's eyes flashed molten gold, thinking her impudent. "Because there you will duel Sesshoumaru-sama and prove your capabilities as a warrior. If you are deemed worthy enough, then you will fight with us to save the place where your father called home. If you are not strong enough to lay claim to your demon heritage then Sesshoumaru-sama will kill you where you stand."

She paled several shades of color at this news, until her blue eyes gave her a ghostly appearance. Swallowing loudly, she found her bravery. I watched as her hands curled on the table top until her knuckles were white against the rest of her skin. "I'm strong enough to lay claim to who my father was, _Uncle_ Sesshoumaru. I'll be there tomorrow morning… _with _Tetsusaiga. And I'll show you everything my father taught me."

I'm sure that my lord had something he wanted to say to that, but he wisely remained silent. He was too noble and old to engage in flinging insults back and forth with a young girl not far from the cusp of adulthood. The other noble demons at the table, and even our hosts, did not think that Kaede's statement was much of a threat, but I knew the truth even without looking at my lord.

Kaede would give my lord a good chance to exercise with his new sword, and he would not hold back against her, even if she was a girl and three-quarters human. He would treat her as aggressively as he would have if he were fighting a full demon, armed with a dangerous weapon. Despite being a _hanyou_, Inuyasha had been strong enough that he had cut my lord's arm from his body the first time he used _Tetsusaiga_. He'd only become stronger the more he used the sword. He'd had decades to practice using it, and decades to teach his daughter all of the tricks he had learned. Sesshoumaru-sama had beaten Kaede-chan once, but she'd already been exhausted from fighting then.

How much fight would she give him when she was walking unto the field of battle fresh?

* * *

"The men are taking bets," Hatsuhana said, walking into our tent that evening. "They've learned of Sesshoumaru-sama's fight with his niece tomorrow morning and are betting coppers on how long she'll last against him. The odds are one to one thousand if you'd care to wager on Kaede."

One to one thousand. For every dollar I put on Kaede winning, I'd win a thousand back. I shook my head, setting down the journal I was writing in—this very journal, in fact—to look at him. "Even if it were one to two thousand, I'll not bet against my lord. I've seen both of them fight, and I've seen the people who trained Kaede-chan fight. She comes from good genes, and she's well trained, but she's no match for my lord."

"Good." My husband grinned cheekily, coming to join me on our small make-shift bed, and bouncing a little childishly. I think he had too many sweets that evening. He was as chipper and excited as Shippo. "That's exactly what I want to hear! Can you tell me anything else about her fighting style? I've put down ten silver pieces that she'll last at least ten minutes and land one mark on him. Would you like me to put down a bet for you, too?"

It was an enticing offer. I grinned, quickly calculating how much money I had on my persons and how much I'd be willing to risk on the fight. Hatsuhana's bet was too rich for my taste, but I would not reproach him for betting so much money when it was his own and not mine.

"The fight will last three and a half minutes, and Kaede-chan will be able to land two strikes on him, both of which will draw blood."

One eyebrow rose. "Three and a half minutes? Are you sure you're willing to bet on such a short period of time?"

"Seshoumaru-sama is fast. He's so fast that when I was a child, I couldn't see him. Kaede may be only a third demon, but her father was fast enough that he cut off my lord's arm. Ten minutes is far too long for this fight."

"You would know best," my husband said, amused. I glanced up at him to find him smiling fondly. I returned the expression, and at once he opened his arms for me. I stepped into them and he closed them around me. He smelled faintly of flowers, and I could have laughed. A ferocious and smart demon, smelling of flowers!

"That dinner was something else, wasn't it? Kouga has had to fight off five different demons who wanted to kill him for letting Kaede live."

"No one has challenged you yet, have they?"

He laughed. "Many probably want to, but I'm not as low on the totem pole as Kouga. He might be in charge of his own pack and territory, but I share the same blood as Sesshoumaru. They worry that a challenge against me would be seen as a challenge against my cousin, for he also let Kaede live."

"Only to challenge her." I pursed my lips and shrugged in his arms. "I wish I knew what my lord was thinking, challenging her to a duel. I have no doubt that my lord will win, but Inuyasha did take off my lord's arm. She might not have her father's strength or stamina, but she has all of his techniques."

Hatsuhana snorted. "I have heard of Inuyasha's 'techniques'. He was brash and fought with brute strength, swinging wildly at whatever moved. It was probably a lucky shot that took of my cousin's arm in the first place."

"Do you know why he never allowed that arm to heal, Hatsuhana? If that arm was so weak that he lost it to his half-brother, then it was worth losing. Sesshoumaru-sama's mind is harsh and brutal, but…"

"But that is what makes it so much more special when he opens up to you." He finished my thought.

I blushed deeply in his arms, thinking of Sesshoumaru-sama's love. It was special, but could be just as harsh and brutal. It was not until he had enforced his dominance that he could be tender and loving. I pressed myself closer to Hatsuhana, trying to find solace in him now that I was thinking of Sesshoumaru-sama again.

In the past few nights, I had been thinking of him more, craving him. It had been easier to be around him when I did not know of how pleasant laying with him would be. Spending nearly a week with him, seeing him every night, was cruel and unusual punishment. Sometimes his skin would brush mine, and the faint hairs along my arm would raise. Sometimes he would walk by me in a wave of scents and I would remember the weight of his body over mine, guiding me as easily and gracefully as his hand controls his sword. Sometimes he would look at me, and I would remember the unguarded need in his expression as he kissed me.

"Would it be out of place if I suggested that we make love tonight, Rin?" Hatsuhana's words startled me from my daydreams. I stared up at him, confused. We had already decided it would be inappropriate to make love when there were so many people around. A tent would not hide what we were doing. "You have been thinking of sex often. I can tell, and it's making me want you more."

I blushed deeply. I should have said no, but I hoped that he could alleviate the lust for Sesshoumaru. I nodded, and pressed my lips to his. He held me close, his hands slipping into my _obi_ and undoing the knots as I began peeling the clothes from his body. His skin was so warm against my hands that it seemed to burn, and I welcomed the feeling.

He was rough with me that night. His hands gripped my flesh tightly, pulling me against him to the point that even the slightest attempt at moving seemed like a struggle. His teeth bit into my flesh when I pleased him, a warning not to move lest it rip the flesh from me. When I displeased him, his nails scratched at me, making me shudder. He used his stamina then, and sometimes I began to black out from the feeling of him between my legs, a bite on my neck bringing me back to the moment and causing me to orgasm all over again.

Only once did he actually hurt me. I cried out in pain, and instinct caused him to stop to check that I was alright. After he finished, collapsing against my prone body covered in sweat, he apologized for it profusely, but I understood why he'd needed to be rough.

He must have been holding it in since he found out that Sesshoumaru-sama loved me. He wanted to make certain that I was his still, that I would respond to no touch but his. He had wanted me, but he had wanted me because he was angry with Sesshoumaru-sama. The bruises on my neck and the claw marks along my back, the mingling of our scents, would tell everyone: _this woman is mine. Covet her if you must, but you will never possess her or please her as I do._

When Sesshoumaru-sama saw me the following morning, his nose wrinkled faintly. He could smell his cousin smelling me. He summoned both of us together and gave us a stern lecture for our lack of discretion, having sex in a camp full of demons. He was honestly furious, and all of it was directed at Hatsuhana.

"Do you have any idea how much danger you're putting her in, _Cousin_? The demons here are angry because a quarter-demon has been allowed to live, and you're _procreating_ with a human!"

"As is my right being her husband!" he snapped back.

"You will not have sex again while in this camp, do you understand me?" His cousin just stared at him, and instead he turned to me. His gold eyes were beautiful, cold, but filled with relief only I could see. He knew I, at least, would follow his order. "Rin?"

"Yes, my lord."

"Good." Already in his armour, he rose and fetched Tensaiga. He looked imperial in his flowing kimono, his long silver hair cascading down his back. I bit back a sigh, longing for the old days. It was unfair that he was still so young and beautiful. I wished for the days when I had been young enough to have been scooped up in those arms… but even if I was that young again, I would not appreciate those arms around me in the same way.

We followed him out. A space in the middle of the camp had been cleared out for the fight. At dawn people had begun to claim space along the edge of the free area, eager to see the fight from the front row. A space, by Sesshoumaru-sama's decree, had been saved for Hatsuhana and I. We took our spots on the sidelines, ignoring the way people stared at us as we passed, and Sesshoumaru-sama stood in the centre of it all, waiting for Kaede-chan.

"Will she show up?" my husband asked me.

I nodded. "Kaede-chan is as brave as her father… maybe more so. She's well aware that she could die in this duel, but to run would be absolute suicide. Instead, she will greet her potential death on the battlefield."

We became aware that Kaede-chan was approaching when we heard the jeers which preceded her. The demons booed her, some even throwing rotting food at her and spitting at her. Despite it all, Kaede-chan walked proudly, with her chin held high. Arashi-sama walked beside her, Tetsuya-sama on the other side. She looked very much like her mother, I thought.

Arashi-sama and Tetsuya-sama came to stand beside us as honoured guests. Their presence caused a ripple through the crowd, as all the demons present began itching a little from the purifying energies which practically leaked from Arashi-sama. She shot them a glare, and they instantly quieted, baring her presence in quiet.

"Rin-sama."

"Arashi-sama, it's good to see you again. I'm… I'm so sorry for your loss, Arashi-sama." I took her hands into mine. They seemed so soft and gentle compared to my aging skin, even with the calluses from holding her sword. "There are no words for how much Kissaki-chan will be missed."

Her mouth twitched, but only for a moment. She was good at hiding her emotions, but even she couldn't stop the dampness that made her eyes brilliant in her grief. "Thank you, Rin-sama."

Jaken waddled out into the middle of the clearing, between Kaede-chan and Sesshoumaru-sama. "The rules are as follows. Any serious wound will stop the match. No dirty fighting… for you, human-spawn, you can still use whatever tricks your sword allows. My lord has allowed this to try to make the match a fair fuel. Killing your opponent is a win. Forcing your opponent to surrender is a win. Pausing before delivering a death blow is also a win. Are the rules understood?"

"Of course."

Kaede-chan frowned. "Yes."

"Then let the match begin."

Jaken bolted out of their way, and Sesshoumaru-sama turned into a blur of white and silver armour as he all but flew at Kaede-chan. To her credit, she didn't seem at all surprise by the attack, but brought up Tetsusaiga. It didn't change into the fang-sword, but remained rusted and tattered, and it did stop Sesshoumaru-sama's first attack. She remained determined, not the least bit of fear showing. My lord paused to gauge her reaction, and she smirked.

"You're about as fast as my father is."

She had meant it as a compliment, or perhaps as a way of explaining why his speed didn't bother her. Kaede-chan had trained against demons—Kouga, Kirara, and Inuyasha. She had become accustomed to their speed. My lord, of course, took it as an insult, as did the other demons present. I heard Arashi-sama mutter a curse at Kaede-chan's loose lips.

Sesshoumaru-sama spun, and their swords clashed in the air. The crowd gasped that she blocked another of his attacks, but I saw from the clumps of dirt behind her feet that his strike had pushed her back an inch or two. She was letting him push her to absorb the energy from his attack. He saw it too, and so as his momentum carried him forward, he brought up his leg and kicked her squarely in the ribs. She tumbled into the dirt, coughing, but rose in time to block the downward swing aimed at her collarbone.

"Will he really kill her?" Tetsuya-sama asked innocently.

Arashi-sama and I both looked at him sharply. He didn't know Sesshoumaru-sama very well, evidently. I answered for Arashi-sama. "My lord is mercurial, as I believe Kagome-chan once phrased it. He's just as likely to kill her, and he's just as likely to spare her."

Arashi-sama leaned over his way, her eyes back on the fight as Arashi struck back, sparks flying from the rusted edge of her sword. "She's bruised some of her ribs. Her right side is weakened now. I don't think he intends on killing her. Why let her live this long only to have everyone see her being humiliated before death? Killing a woman after he's proven that she cannot defend herself against his onslaught would only discredit him."

"But he tried very hard to kill her once already," I pointed out. "Why would his opinions have changed since then?"

The faintest trace of a smile crossed Arahi's mouth. "Because I heard him promise a certain woman in his court that he would not harm his neice." I felt myself blushing then, and Hatsuhana's arm went around my shoulders, reminding me of where my loyalty was due. "I think all of this is for show."

Arashi-sama was right, I realized. When Kaede-chan attacked, Sesshoumaru-sama spun out of the way and retreated until he was far enough away that he could use his whips safely. Blazing trails of green arced across the space, and though she dodged, the tip of one caught her on her cheek. Demons cheered at the scent of first blood.

"I see what you mean about the fight not taking very long, but I am beginning to think that even your wager of three minutes was a little excessive, Rin."

"Kaede-chan has not yet released Tetsusaiga," the priestess pointed out. "Sesshoumaru-sama may be toying with her, but she's holding her own at the moment, for all that he drew first blood."

The whips continued arcing through the air, and Kaede was obviously struggling to keep up with them. The crowd was becoming restless, thinking that Sesshoumaru-sama was too cowardly to go in and fight Kaede in melee, but it occurred to me that my lord was using a wide variety of attacks to defeat her. Already he'd used a ranged attack, and two different melee attacks. Was he perhaps testing her, trying to figure out her strengths and weaknesses?

If such was the case, I thought with a frown, then he was doing a poor job of testing her. If each of his attacks forced her to move, if each of them somehow cut through her defences, how would he ever learn of her strengths?

Kaede-chan must have had the same thought. She swore loudly enough that even I heard it and then, with a flick of her wrist, changed the sword into the demon fang. Gasps went through the crowd from those who recognized it, and hisses as they shared the story with younger demons. Before Kaede-chan had focused on defending herself and had used the sword as any human would have, but when her intent changed from defense to attacking Sesshoumaru earnestly, the sword became her father's sword.

She held it as if it were as light as my wakazashi, despite needing two hands to wield it. Sesshoumaru-sama's whips leapt at her and she sliced through them as she moved, heading right for him. He moved early and she skidded to a stop, pivoting on her back foot to stop the blow coming from behind. I could feel the energy building up, and so could Sesshoumaru-sama. She was preparing for a _kaze no kizu_.

He bolted out of the way in time, and for a moment the field turned a blinding shade of white. Before my eyes cleared, I could hear my lord laughing, and then the clash of blades once more. When my vision cleared, I understood why Sesshoumaru had laughed. The ground was forked with the force of her _kaze_, but it went only a few yards. It did not have the distance or widths of Inuyasha's attacks. He laughed because he knew her weakness now; she could not use the Tetsusaiga like her father could.

Her face was red from her fury, and her embarrassment. Sesshoumaru's attacks came swiftly now. He was using his sword against hers. They were all but silvery blades, neither of them gaining any significant ground. Each of his attacks which she absorbed pushed her back a little, but her attacks were so fast that she could gain that yard back with a few hits. Beside me, Hatsuhana stifled a laugh.

"Amazing. Truly amazing. She's causing him to lose ground with those attacks of hers. I think she might actually be faster than my cousin. It reminds me of a sparrow attacking the hawk. The hawk is the formidable opponent, but if the sparrow is fast enough in her attacks, she can drive him off with her ferocity. Where did she ever learn to fight like that?"

"From my mother."

He turned to look at Arashi-sama, stoic and beautiful. Tears glistened on her cheeks. "Your mother?"

"She was the best demon-slayer there ever was. She was as beautiful as an angel, and as ferocious as a wild animal. She trained us. Each generation of _taijiya_ she trained became faster than the last. My older cousin is not as fast as Kaede-chan, and I am faster."

"Amazing," he purred, eyes trained on the fight.

Their blades were blurs of silver through the air. The clashes rang strong and true. Sesshoumaru-sama aimed a kick at her side again as a lunge carried her past him, but she was quick to recover. She spun with her sword, and the tip caught my lord's kick, slicing down his leg in a spurt of crimson blood.

Silence settled over the field. The coppery scent of blood hung heavy in the air. Sesshoumaru-sama slowly backed away from Kaede, limping faintly. The hungry eyes of demons watched him to see if it was a fatal wound. Kaede's face was blank as she struggled to come to terms with the blood that now dripped from her chin and darkened her clothes.

Whispers went through the crowd, some surprised, some hissing at Sesshoumaru-sama's weakness to be cut by her. Yet, even as they said it, their companions hissed back, 'Did you not see her speed? She is as fast as one of us. Are you skilled enough with a sword to have touched Sesshoumaru-sama? And she barely nicked him, yet look at all the blood it caused! She is not only fast, but strong!'

He straightened, ignoring the crowds. He raised his sword. "The wound is not fatal. Let us continue."

Kaede straightened too, relaxing. She had honestly been worried that she had killed him, though perhaps she was more frightened of what his loyal followers would do to her than concerned for Lord Sesshoumaru's well being. She brought her sword up, preparing to defend herself. I watched as my lord's upper lip curled faintly. She was never going to win being on the defensive, I thought, and my lord knew it, too.

He sprang at her, and feinted towards her injured side. She moved to block it, and was caught unprepared for when his hand darted out from his hilt to clutch her wrist. I hissed, knowing that it hurt as he leeched poison into her system. She hung from his grip, writhing for a moment, before he flung her away. Kaede-chan rolled through the dirt and grass. Her sword flew from her grip.

"No…" Arashi moaned quietly. I watched, curious, as Tetsuya-sama gently placed his hand on her shoulder and she moved into it. Did she even know she was moving closer into him, allowing Tetsuya-sama to feel as though he was protecting her from some unforeseen evil?

Hatsuhana heard too, and moved to her other side. His long braid hung over his shoulders as he bent closer to her so as not to be overheard. "What is it?"

"Tetsusaiga," Arashi-sama explained. "It keeps her demonic side in check when she's fighting."

I understood at once. I had seen Inuyasha when he entered a demonic berserk. My eyes widened and Hatsuhana stiffened when he felt my fear, instincts telling him to come to my rescue. "She can berserk?" Arashi-sama nodded, fearful for her cousin.

Sesshoumaru-sama stood between Kaede-chan and Tetsusaiga. Laying in the dirt, she had only eyes for the sword. She didn't flinch when Sesshoumaru-sama's poisonous whips struck the ground on either side of her. Without the sword in her grasp she seemed to be almost in pain.

He paused in front of her, and leaned down until he could see her eyes. Normally a ghostly shade of blue, he could already see them beginning to fill with red, like wisps of fire bleeding into her eyes. He snorted in disgust. "And so, even three-quarters human, you are still no better than my half-brother, losing yourself into a bloodlust without the sword to control you."

My lord had thought the fight was over but, much to his surprise, she stood up. Her legs were shaky, her voice guttural, but she stood to face him still. "I am not like my father, Uncle. He looses his mind when he loses Tetsusaiga. I maintain my mother's intellect." Her hands rose and her nails flashed for a moment as she curled her fingers into hooks. "And I gain his claws."

She lunged at him and her nails struck his cheeks, though not enough to draw blood. My lord still held his sword. He could have struck out with it at any moment, but he did not. He danced, leading her around the fighting area, and she attacked with single-minded precision and determination… though never fast enough to again land a strike on him.

Around the field they went, until they once again ended back up at Tetsusaiga laying forgotten in the dirt. "Enough of this," he hissed. Sesshoumaru-sama reached out towards the sword. I bit down on my lower lip so harshly I tasted blood. If he touched it and the sword rejected him, he would be embarrassed. He would have lost some of the respect of the people watching him. His eyes flicked toward me, just once, and his frown tightened.

He could smell my fear. He could smell my blood. And it had been Kaede-chan that had made me feel afraid. He nodded, as if hearing my thoughts as it dawned on me. He had convinced himself that he had to eliminate Kaede-chan in order to protect me. His hand closed around the hilt, he lifted it, and in a flash of light, there was his father's fang.

He should have known there would be consequences. He should have known! The new demons who did not know of Sesshoumaru-sama's father made awed sounds and some even politely applauded, as if the life-or-death match they were watching was a simple tabuki show. The demons who had known Sesshoumaru-sama's father waited in silence, wondering at this new display. They wondered if he could hold it because he protected human lands as the lord of the domain… or if it was because he was like their old lord and had fallen in love with one.

Something in my stomach shifted uncomfortably. I wanted to be ill.

Kaede skidded to a stop when she saw her own sword pointed at her. There was no sign of mercy in my lord's frigid gold eyes. "We end this fight, here and now."

Without hesitation, he plunged the sword into her stomach and withdrew it in one smooth motion. Arashi-sama screamed and Tetsuya-sama had to hold her back as Kaede-chan fell to the ground. She was not quite dead, but kicked pitifully at the dirt. A stomach wound took a long time to kill people sometimes. She would suffer greatly before the wound took her life.

I buried my face in Hatsuhana's shirt, his arms holding me steady, but it could erase the image of my mind of Kaede dying alone in the dirt.

* * *

_To be continued..._


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

Arashi speaks:

_I had already lost my real cousin, Kissaki, daughter of my Uncle Kohaku. I had always placed a great deal of faith in Sesshoumaru-sama because my mother and father had told me that he was honourable. He was cold, brutal, and calculating, but in the end of their fight against Naraku, he had been more of an ally._

_I never understood how cold and brutal he could be until he stabbed Kaede-chan in front of me. Compared to their stories of Naraku, or even of the centipede demon who had killed off most of the village trying to capture Aunt Kagome's soul shard, Sesshoumaru-sama had never seemed frightening. I never thought he would kill Kaede-chan just to erase Inuayasha's line from his family tree._

_I screamed as she fell, and struggled__ to get to her. I lost Mother long ago. It had been less than three months since I had lost Father. I had lost Kissaki-chan a little only a week ago. I could not lose Kaede-chan, too._

_I could not be alone…_

* * *

"Kaede!"

I buried my face in Hatsuhana's shirt, tears coming to my eyes. How could someone I love be so cruel? She had just been a young girl! She had posed no threat to him, save for being a quarter-demon! And hadn't this battle, this public duel, proved to everyone that she was just as good a fighter as a full-blooded demon?

I heard a loud smack and lifted my head in time to see Arashi-sama elbow Tetsuya-sama into letting her go. He stumbled back, a hand pressed against his eye. The young priestess, still clothed in the garments of a monk, drew her sword and pointed it at Sesshoumaru-sama as she barrelled forward.

He looked up in time to see the charge and stepped back, redirecting her attack away from him with Tetsusaiga. Immediately the sword began glowing, and his face contorted with the effort of keeping it in his hand. He had perceived Kaede-chan as a threat against me, but Arashi-sama's attack was against him. He was no longer using the sword to protect a human being, and it was rejecting him.

Arashi-sama pivoted on her back foot, bringing her sword around in an elegant swipe. She was as fast as Kaede, without having a drop of demon blood. She moved purely from talent, and her talent was beautiful. She was as graceful as my lord with her _katana_ in her hand. She was completely polished and styled.

"Stop, Arashi-sama."

The crowd moved impatiently not just at his use of the honorarium, but because she did not stop. He blocked the next attack, and she whirled and spiralled with her blade. It was like nothing I had ever seen before. She was using the sword as she would a staff sometimes, using the sword's length for as much as she could. The sword was a part of her; sometimes it was even the focal point of her moves as she seemed to dance around it, a blur of black and violet robes with a blade of silver.

"You killed Kaede-chan!" came the hiss.

Sesshoumaru-sama brought her body-to-body with the intent of forcing her to her knees. She was fast and skilled, but she did not have the strength to support his bearing upon her. A blast of cold wind froze me. Hatsuhana was rushing out to the field as Sesshoumaru-sama's sword connected with Arashi-sama, pressing her down to her knees on the battlefield.

Then I felt what Hatsuhana had known was coming. She was gathering in her energy, intending to use his proximity into purifying him… thereby killing him.

Before she could, Hatsushana knocked her out from under my lord's sword. He pinned her to the ground, hands caught under her. She writhed and kicked and screamed, uttering threats no priestess should know… and despite the situation, I laughed. She sounded so much like her mother when she became frustrated!

With her hands caught under her, she could not touch Hatsuhana into purifying him. Although seeing Kaede-chan die had given her the will into finding her power again, she was not strong enough yet to purify a demon without touching him directly. She settled instead for swearing and cursing Sesshoumaru-sama and his cousin. Hatsuhana laughed too.

"Where did you learn such language, priestess?"

"Hatsuhana, do not tease the priestess." Sesshoumaru-sama threw Tetsusaiga back into the dirt. "Woman, you are as reckless and foolish as your mother. Watch, and understand."

I understood at once when he drew Tensaiga. The sword let off light faintly at his intent, and the crowd gasped. He drove it into Kaede-chan's heart, and as it withdrew, she sat up, gasping for air. Sesshomaru-sama gracefully sheathed the sword, still staring down sternly at Kaede-chan. Oh, how I loved him for his sternness! How I adored that stoic expression, and the delightful thrill I felt when he turned it on me.

Kaede-chan felt no thrill; only confusion.

Sesshoumaru-sama blinked, only once. Then, he stooped down and picked up Tetsusaiga. Once again, the sword did not reject him as he passed the weapon back to his niece. "Take it."

She looked down at her torn and bloodied shirt. "But…"

"Take the sword. I wanted it to hurt my half-brother. I'll not take out that same anger upon his pathetically defenceless child." She took it back, leaving his hands free to give the perception of a shrug as he turned his back on her. "Besides, all I really wanted was to spill his blood as proof that he was inconsequential to me, and to avenge my father's death. Spilling yours has given me no satisfaction, but it had filled the vow I made longer to make my half-brother suffer."

"But why did you bring me back?" she croaked.

That question stopped him. He turned, and studied her through a silver veil of hair. "Because," he said, "you are also your mother's daughter."

The match was ended. I went first to check on my husband, as was proper. Then I ran after my lord Sesshoumaru.

He made it to his tent already by the time I caught up to him. He was slowly removing his garments, trying to pretend still that his leg wound did not hurt. He did not turn to see who had entered his tent without knocking. I had intended upon being polite and had no plan beyond that. His leg wound was the perfect chance to collect blood for Arashi-sama. I even had a small container on me in which I could pour it. I had, after all, bet that Kaede-chan would draw blood. I had come prepared… though I had no idea what I would say or do to hide what I was doing.

As soon as he turned and I saw that beautiful, sculpted face, I threw my arms around him. He had to quickly shift his weight to keep from falling over.

"Sesshoumaru-sama!"

"Rin…" His arms steadied me, solid and comforting. He smelled of sweat and dirt, but I cared not. "You should not be touching Sesshoumaru-sama so."

"I don't care!" I shook my head fervently, wiping my tears against his shirt in doing so. He would smell like me. Hatsuhana would know he had held me. I knew I should not be in his arms, and yet being there made me feel complete. Maybe what Hatsuhana had said about demons and humans completing each other was correct. Sesshoumaru-sama made me feel whole. "I was worried!"

He harrumphed. "You were worried that pathetic child would actually be able to harm this Sesshoumaru-sama?"

"No, I was worried that you were actually going to kill her!"

His reaction was not what I had expected. His hands slowly closed on my shoulders and pulled me back enough that we could see each other face to face. His lips were smooth, and vulnerable as he looked down at me. Sesshoumaru-sama, my lord, vulnerable! "I promised you I would not harm her."

For all his pretty words to Kaede, all the show he had put on for the demons to try to justify leaving her alone, there was the real reason he had used Tensaiga to bring her back. No, if not for me, my lord would have left Kaede-chan to die in the dirt during that duel. The real reason he could not, and would not, kill her was because he had promised me he would not.

I leaned up on my feet and pressed my lips against his. They were warm and soft. When he began kissing me back, his long hair fell loose, closing around us like a silver veil. He had sworn that the love between us had been broken when he ordered me to marry Hatsuhana, but something of that love had been rekindled once our lust had been satiated. He looked at me and saw the girl that had helped clean his wounds after Inuyasha beat him; he saw the young woman who doted upon his every word; and he saw the adult brave enough to defy him.

Sesshoumaru-sama tried very hard not to be emotional. His voice was even, his face bordering on expressionless, and yet he was ruled by his emotions. He fought his brother out of an anger that had lasted for decades; he had tried to get Tetsusaiga out of jealousy; he loved me because of my passion; he admired Kagome for her compassion.

We fell back on his mattress, our lips still locked together. I struggled to get higher on his body, trying to find better leverage. My leg brushed his, and the lips under mine stopped kissing me for a moment as pain shot up from his wound. I stopped, and leaned back, breathing heavily. I patted down my hair as I slid off of his body, trying to make the short ends appear neat.

"I'm sorry."

"You are human. Humans make mistakes," he said, sitting up. I bit my lip to keep from glaring at him reproachfully for using such condescending tones. He had kissed me back. It was his fault, too.

I looked down at the wound. It was then that I had to work very hard to keep from smiling, or looking secretive. I knew how I was going to gather his blood for Arashi-sama, and I thought it so ingenious, so surreptitious, that I was proud I had thought of it. I knelt down in front of him and touched his knee with the tips of my fingers. "My lord, will you let me clean your wound for you?" He stared down at me, and I gave him a moment to consider my proposal before I continued. "My husband will be able to detect my scent upon you. If I were to tend to your leg, it would explain why my scent and yours have mingled together."

I held my breath as he thought, and when he nodded I turned to fetch some clean linens before I let it out. Again, I knelt down before him. My cheeks were burning hot. "Lie back, my lord. I promise to be gentle."

He could not see what I was going to do. He stared at me a moment, before that rare faint touch pulled one corner of his mouth higher than the other. He did indeed lie back against his mat, hands clasped behind his head, and somehow looking cold and smug in the same instance. I rolled back the fabric of his hakama, then let my fingertrips trail up and down the back of his leg. His skin was warm, the muscle hard. I felt it loosen slightly as he relaxed.

Pulling the small vial out of my _obi_ where I had hidden it, I pulled the cork stopper out using my teeth. I gripped it tightly in my hand, trying to warm the rim. He was relaxed, but would surely feel it if I placed a cold piece of glass against his skin!

Hoping it was warm enough, I simply placed the rim of the vial against where some of his blood still flowed. Demons healed quickly, but I'd learned when I was a little girl that the wounds from Tensaiga were different. Had it been a normal human sword that had cut him, he would not have still been bleeding.

I tried to guide some of the blood into the vial by brushing it away from the wound using my fingertips. Sesshoumaru-sama would know something was wrong if he did not feel me touching him, so I pretended to clean the wound. As the vial slowly filled, I took the clean linen and earnestly began to wipe the blood off of his skin, using the tip of the cloth to nudge small bits of dirt and small rocks away. When the vial was full and his skin clean, I bound the wound up and tucked the blood away in my _obi_.

"Rin thinks that perhaps Sesshoumaru-sama will live."

He rose and nodded, testing the bindings by wiggling his toes. "Rin, we will begin to plan our attack in earnest tonight. See that Hatsuhana is present in my tents tonight, as well as the priestess and Inuyasha's… daughter." He all but sneered the word. "As well as the chief hostler, smith, and the commander of the men-at-arms."

"Yes, Lord Sesshoumaru." I bowed politely and then left, touching my _obi_ to reassure that my mission was complete.

* * *

I found Arashi-sama still in the field, tending to her cousin's wound. Tetsuya-sama was there as well. All three of them greeted me indifferently. I clasped my hands together gently. "Sesshoumaru-sama has asked that you come to his tents tonight at sunset in order to discuss the plan of attack on your village."

Arashi's eyes lit up at once. "Then he does plan on helping us take it back. I had not been entirely sure he would be willing to fight for it."

I allowed myself to smile a little. "I am not certain he is doing it for you. Sesshoumaru-sama was gravely injured by Cook, and holds a grudge against him. He views the Englishman as a threat to his throne, and wants to eradicate it. I am afraid that the position of your village means nothing to him, save that it was taken from him and he wants it back."

Tetsuya-sama nodded. "This is a political and territorial matter. He cares nothing for the humans who are being held there with their wives and children as collateral."

"That is correct, Tetsuya-sama. We will remind him that those we fight are not all Cook's men tonight, and try to come up with a way to separate those who are loyal to the English, and those who are merely trying to protect their families. Reminding him of the humans is my job, otherwise my lord would only see in black and white."

Kaede-chan smiled back at me. "You do a good job of being his conscious, Rin-chan."

I felt my cheeks growing hot. "I am not being a good conscious today, Kaede-chan." I turned to look at the priestess, whose cheeks were still flushed with embarrassment and anger. "I have what you asked for. When shall I give it to you? This is far too public a place for the exchange."

Her lips pulled up into a smile. She looked radiant. When I looked at her, I saw her mother. Sango often smiled in that same manner, once the _kazaana_ had been silenced forever. It only lasted a moment, but I watched, curious, as Tetsuya-sama held his breath and eyed her.

"Then we can… no, I can't send Kaede-chan back now."

"Is your power not up to full strength yet?" Tetsuya-sama asked.

She turned to look at him, and she touched his shoulder gently. There was nothing but innocence in the act, the desire to reassure him, and yet Tetsuya-sama looked pained as he felt the weight from those fingers through his clothes. "Houshi-sama, being with you these past few days has done much to alleviate the guilt that has plagued me and so debilitated my power, but no, I am not yet up to full strength. Your kindness and charity has allowed me to remember that I am not a monster, despite the blood on my hands.

"No, I can not send Kaede-chan back now because I do not have access to Goshinboku."

I lifted an eyebrow. "The tree on which Inuyasha was impaled?"

"The same. Kagome explained some of the properties of the tree to me. You see, it is the tree that has allowed the well to carry Kagome back and forth through time. The bone-eater's well has no special properties at all, save that it is so close to Goshinboku. Because the well exists in both our time, and in Kagome's time, a person can use it as a channel from one time to the other. Likewise, when the well has not worked for her, she has used the tree to convey thoughts and feelings to and from Inuyasha. The tree exists in both time periods, and so there was a connection there to channel the communication from one end to the other."

When she began to talk like a scholar, Arashi-sama sounded nearly identical to her father. They had the same pace and mannerisms when they lectured. I wondered if anybody else had ever told Arashi-sama that?

"And so you've sealed the well already, awaiting the day when Kagome's powers will unlock it…"

"But the tree still exists. I mean to seal Kaede-chan away within Goshinboku, until the day when Kagome can unseal it." I could not think of a way to respond to this, and so Arashi-sama continued. "Why don't you come and fetch us from the castle tonight? That way we have an escort into camp and won't have food thrown at us as we did today? And, Houshi-sama, if you have no problem with it, I would appreciate it greatly if you could keep the ingredients we need."

Tetsuya-sama smiled at her. "I would be delighted." His words were simple, but they still caused Arashi-sama to blush furiously. There was something going on between them, an unspoken attraction which had not yet ripened into love.

"I will see you tonight, then." I turned to leave and then paused. When I turned back, there was unguarded concern in my eyes. "Will Kaede-chan be okay?"

The girl in question smiled at me. She was obviously tired and drained, but there was also a feeling of being at ease with herself that had not been there before. She had always appeared to be a confident young woman, but I was beginning to suspect a lot of that had been her father's bravado. Now that she had proved herself against her uncle, and had mended the bridge between them, she had surpassed both her father and her mother, allowing her to find her own courage to face the world, rather than relying on her father's name to protect herself.

"I'll be fine, Rin-sama. I just need to relax a little bit. Tensaiga leaves you feeling a little bit drained."

Nodding, I returned to my own tent to rest and prepare for the long night ahead of us.

* * *

I was saddling a horse just before dusk when Hatsuhana found me talking to A'un, who waited patiently by my side awaiting to be ridden as well. The demon steed nudged my shoulder, whining pitifully, and I turned to stroke his scaly face.

"No, A'un. Not tonight. I'm riding into a human village, and it would scare them to have me arrive on such a fearsome demon as you." I smiled for him, watching as he pulled himself up to full height and gave a bird-like shake, preening his scales and appearing larger than he really was. I laughed at him and pulled one of his heads down to plant a kiss on his cheek, the other head not far behind to receive the same. "I'll be fine, A'un. It's not far to the human village. Nothing can happen to me between here and there. If something does, then I promise you I will never leave you behind again."

"You're quite good at manipulating men, you know." His voice caught me off guard and I turned to find him at the entrance of the paddock, leaning against a tree with his arms crossed over his chest. His eyes were full of mirth. "You were able to calm him down and reassure him with nothing more than a few kind promises and touches."

I stroked A'un's head. "He thinks, just like any other demon, and he's my friend. There's nothing to manipulate. He worries about me, and I want to ease over that worry rather than cause a rift between us."

Hatsuhana sauntered away from the entrance of the mount paddock, eyes never leaving my face until he came close enough to offer a hand to A'un. The demon steed sniffed it, then allowed him to come closer to me. "A demon would not have cared to explain why they were leaving him here. They simply would have told him to stay."

"As my lord and husband have so often pointed out, I may have been raised by demons, but I am human. It is not their way, either, you know. A human would not so easily accept that A'un is as smart as you or I." The demon in question looked flattered and nudged my shoulder as a thank you. "I am merely treating him as I would anyone else whom I respected."

That seemed to end the conversation. "I'm afraid I share A'un's worry about you going into the human capital alone. I am coming with you."

"That hardly seems necess…"

"You are my wife. I already let you out of my sight once and had you snatched out from under me. I will not allow that to happen again."

"You let me wander around camp without…"

"I allow you to wander around camp where I know I am close at hand, where the demons here respect you and know that harming you would bring Sesshy and me down on them without mercy. My cousin trusts the demons in this camp, and because I trust him, I know you are safe here." He reached out, and his thumb brushed my chin as he took my chin in between his fingers. "I do not trust the humans, not anymore. Cook has turned the people in Mushin's village against us by holding their wives and children hostage. If I were him, I would figure out where Sesshoumaru could launch an attack and send spies there to infiltrate it so that I would be able to confirm from where and when they plan to attack. Any one of the people in that village could be a spy. I want to be there to protect you."

"And to protect your honour…" I pointed out, weakly. He did not deny it. I sighed. How could I ever turn down a request such as his?

I nodded for him, and he bent and kissed my lips. He cherished me so that though it would have killed him, he would have remained behind had I said no. I could have told him no as well, and kept my plan intact, but that would have broken the trust he had in me.

We saddled up a horse for him and left the camp at a decent pace.

They were waiting for us just inside the gates. I slid off my horse, greeting them all personally. Kaede-chan was enthusiastic about returning my hug, feeling as if her battle with Sesshoumaru-sama had made her family. Shippo refused to let go of me, but sat on my shoulder, hands braced against my neck. Tetsuya-sama blushed furiously, and held me uncomfortably within his arms. I greeted Arashi-sama last, and as I gave her a hug, I was close enough to whisper into her ear, "I need to speak with you in private. Hatsushana insisted on following me."

She nodded and took my hand. "Hatsuhana-sama, Rin and I have some female matters to discuss before you go. If you will excuse us for a second?" she began dragging me toward the front doors of the castle.

He let us go, but he did turn to see where the horses were already saddled and waiting to go. He was suspicious of our elusive behaviour. I bit my lip nervously, feeling the spot where I'd been bleeding earlier in the day after biting myself during Sesshoumaru-sama's duel.

She closed the door and we stood in the foyer. I reached into my _obi_ and pulled out the vial. The liquid inside seemed too dark to be red. I laughed a little. "So much secrecy for one little vial."

Arashi-sama smiled for me. "Thank you, Rin-sama. I knew that you wouldn't fail us."

"And so you can send Kaede back home now?"

She nodded. "As soon as we reach the Goshinboku, yes." She held up the vial to examine it. "So much drama, all for one vial… thank you again, Rin-sama. I will be sad to see my cousin go, but it is obvious. She doesn't belong in this time period. She belongs with her parents."

When we returned to our horses, her eyes were damp with tears once more. She gave her cousin a smile to try to reassure her, and Shippo sat with her on her horse, trying to remind Arashi that she was not as alone as she thought she was.

* * *

To be continued...

Sorry it took so long to get this chapter up... had a bit of a crazy week! Hopefully things will calm back down again this week, but I'm afraid that as soon as they do I need to go on a house-cleaning frenzy!


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter Twenty-One**

We planned the attack for two days hence. Something about the time frame bothered me, and I sat down the night before the attack. What day was it? Something about all the time I had spent on the road recently had made it hard to keep track of the days.

I realized what it was. I had not had my menstruation yet. It should have started the day of the fight Sesshoumaru-sama and Kaede-chan. I felt panic for a second, rising and choking me. I touched my fingers to my face, feeling the crow's feet in the corners of my eyes, and the faint laugh lines around my mouth. I knew that some women, when they were old enough, stopped bleeding, or that they became erratic and then stop completely. The old Kaede-sama had not had her menstrual flows in decades by the time she had died. Was I old enough that I was beginning to skip them?

I did not feel old enough to stop having them, and the only other thing…

Pregnant.

The word made me freeze and shiver on the inside. I was pregnant. As the thought went through me, I knew I was right. I thought back on my fingers. The babe would have had to have been conceived last month for me to be missing my cycle. Indeed, now that I counted back, it would have been my fertile time when Hatsuhana and I were married, and so the chances were that it was his, but right in between… was Sesshoumaru-sama and the nights we spent in the cave while he was recovering.

I crumpled my calculations and threw them into the first brazier I saw, so no one else could find out. I had a battle to survive before I could worry about telling my lord I was going to give birth to a half-demon, and besides, I had no proof that I _was_ with child.

The morning of the attack confirmed it, however. I arose, feeling a little ill, just before dawn. My horse was already mounted and the survivors from the attack on Mushin's village were already lined up with the demons Sesshoumaru-sama had brought, waiting for the attack. We had spent the day before creeping closer to the village, and we were going to attack at dusk. Attacking at night would incapacitate the humans on both sides of the battle, for they could not see in the dark, and Cook had more humans than we did. We wagered that it would be more of a hindrance to him than to us.

I staggered outside of our tent and began retching violently as soon as I awoke. Hatsuhana, dear Hatsuhana, was waiting for me with a clean, damp cloth to mop at my brow. He whispered to me soothingly about how it was going to be all right. He thought I was worried about the upcoming battle!

"Everyone gets a little nervous before battle," he said, brushing back my bangs so he could see my whole face. "Even me."

He was kind to admit it, but the battle was not the reason for my sickness.

I felt better as we camped out in the bushes across the rice fields from Mushin's village. We had no fires lit, as we were worried about sentries spotting us. The moon was hidden behind clouds, making it very hard to see, but I did not need to see from where I was. I sat straddling the shoulders of a large dog-demon. Both my husband and my lord had assumed their true forms for the fight. I was with Hatsuhana as we waited to begin our attack. My lord was, shockingly, with Arashi-sama. He claimed her spiritual powers did not bother him, and he wanted her close knowing that he would become the main target as soon as he revealed himself. He could take care of any human attackers, and he hoped that she could take care of any demon's defences long enough for his teeth to rip them to shreds.

We had argued for a length period of time about what to do with the humans whose families were being held hostage. One of us, whom shall remain nameless, was voting for killing all of them outright. He argued that it would be too easy for someone to claim clemency and then turn on us once we were looking the other way. I had talked him out of it by pointing out that killing so many humans would only alienate them. The humans had turned to us out of hope that we would protect them, and killing off the whole village was not protecting them.

There would have been, I know, some demons who would have agreed with Sesshoumaru-sama. Sometimes trying to sort between friend and foe on the battlefield was liable to suicide. Some of the demons also would have agreed with him because the village was full of demon slayers, whom for years they had regarded as a threat. In one blow they could have killed off the invaders and the demon slayers.

Luckily, we thought of another plan. It was foolish and it was dangerous, but it was still a _good _plan… and it was the only one we had. Shippo had entered village the day before, disguised as a human. He would sort out for us which humans had families being held hostage and prepare them for our arrival. When we arrived in the city, Cook's own forces would turn on him.

As I said, it was a good plan... it was just a very dangerous one, also. Arashi-sama and Kaede-chan had been most adamant not to let Shippo go. It had taken him a lot of convincing to agree to him leaving. As much as it pained the young women to see him put himself in danger, it was obvious they were proud of him, too. It was not that long ago he was too afraid to do much, and would run to Kagome's open arms at the first opportunity.

I had little doubt that Shippo would fail, but I wish we had a means of communicating with him as we had to sit waiting. It would have been nice to know how many people he had told about the attack, and to make sure he hadn't been captured.

Things were going well… until a few minutes before midnight. We had planned to wait until the middle of the night to attack, hoping to catch the village in between when the first night shift was falling asleep, and the second night shift was still struggling to wake up. We hadn't thought of the women in the village, those not yet married. The men were still enjoying themselves, and the screams drifted up to where we hid, piercing the night's silence.

I felt Hatsuhana's smooth muscles twitch under my hands. _I do not like this,_ he told me, _this waiting. We should go and attack now, while we know the fighters are indisposed and while we might be able to save some of the women._

"I agree, Hatsuhana, but the choice is not ours to make." I shifted, sharing his unease. Looking in the direction where I knew my lord sat waiting, I could not help but think of Arashi-sama and Kaede-chan. To Hatsuhana, the screams belonged to strangers. Myself, I knew some of them, but I could trick myself into thinking the screams belonged to someone else. To the priestess and her cousin, they belonged to childhood friends and neighbours. "We must wait for Sesshoumaru-sama."

That was the longest hour of my life.

When Sesshoumaru-sama saw that the guard was changing, he barked, only once. The group began moving forward through the trees. Hatsuhana stood, and I dug my hands into her fur to keep from falling off. He had wanted to keep me close, and no where was closer than on his back. It also meant there were more mounts available for the footmen. It must have been horrifying, for the men on guard duty, to see only darkness, and then have my husband's snarling jaws snap them up as we suddenly became visible.

With a crunch, the sentry was gone.

Demons on our side poured on mounts between his legs, knocking over the braziers at the watch posts. Some fires fizzled out, but others began to spread, licking at the base of huts. There was nothing we could do about it. I looked away, though the smell followed us as we tore through the village.

People fled before us, but some of the men, some of them grabbed their weapons and turned to fight alongside us. I watched as a few of those men were cut down by the English, swords buried in their bellies. I wished that I was on the ground fighting with them.

_That Shippo was quite effective. I'm truly impressed._

"Yes. People forget about him quite easily because he's so young and small, but he was there when they fought Naraku." The rest of my praises were cut off with a sudden boom. A cannonball whizzed by my head, landing in the hillside behind us. They were starting to fight back.

Hatsuhana and Sesshoumaru-sama were the strongest demons in our entourage. It was their goal to find Cook and kill him. Hatsuhana dodged another cannonball. My stomach shook from the sudden movement. He barked directions to the footmen, so that they could go and destroy the cannons before they wiped out the rest of the army. I glanced behind us and saw that the ground had been pockmarked by mounds of dirt. When a gust of wind blew the flames from the burning homes in their direction, I spotted arms and legs mingled in with the mounds of dirt. The bodies had been blown apart.

Through the darkness I could just make out Sesshoumaru-sama fighting deeper into the village, a great white ghost-dog. I could not see Arashi-sama on his back. Was she even still there?

_If I were Cook, I'd set up at the shrine. It's the highest point in the village. He would be able to gloat looking out over all the land he's captured._ _What? Shippo?_

The little fox-demon stood in front of us, his costume gone. Demons rushed at him, and my husband dove over the little demon, knocking back his pursuers and snarling at them. They scurried away, and he risked bending down so that I could jump off of his back and scoop the little kitsune up in my arms. His whole body was shaking, and as Hatsuhana defended us with his snapping jaws, Shippo spoke.

"I found where they're keeping the prisoners. The children that didn't make it out of the village he plans on bringing back to England as slaves. They're held up in that direction. All the women whose husband agreed to serve Cook are in that same direction. We have to save them!" His tail shook with fear, or maybe with excitement.

"Shippo, we have another mission. We can tell the demons…"

He bared his teeth at me. "The children won't listen to the demons! They'll listen you, because you're human! The women will listen to you because they know you! If you send a demon, they'll just think it's trick! These people know you! They'll know you're _real_!" His fierce expression became sad. "I couldn't even get the adults to move. They thought I was just being a child."

"Oh, Shippo…" He was as old as I was, and yet still people thought of him only as a child because of his outward appearance. I hugged him close. "Hatsuhana, do you think…"

_I heard everything. We must get them out. The women first. They can take the children back into the forest and proceed to safety._ He lunged for a man with a gun and knocked the man into a wall, hard enough for the man to leave a blood smear as he fall back to the ground. His voice was soft, but my husband could fight just as well as Sesshoumaru-sama. _Get on and lead us, Shippo._

"Hatsuhana… you're risking disobeying a direct order."

His tongue lolled out of his mouth, and I thought for a moment he was going to try to give me an affectionate lick. _Haven't you learned yet, Rin? Sometimes my cousin's word is outweighed by the needs of the people. Now, let us move. _His ears pricked up as he heard the distinctive sound of cannons whistling through the air. _Standing still makes me nervous._

* * *

Arashi speaks:

_Sitting atop Sesshoumaru's shoulders was at once exhilarating and terrifying, but when we began attacking and the canons began whizzing by us, it became simply the latter. I am a simple girl. My days normally consist of prayer, helping the sick and the elderly, and cooking my own meals. Riding atop a dog demon into the heat of battle was not something I ever would have expected in my own life. It was the stuff of legend…_

_My mother would have loved it. She should have been there defending the city, not me._

_Mother died a long time ago! I chastised myself for my foolishness._

_I tried to enjoy the experience, for her, but all I could think of was being down on the ground, where I could do the most damage! I wanted to make them pay for what they had done to the village! To my _home_!_

_As if he new what I was thinking, Sesshoumaru's deep voice rolled through me. _Save your energies, priestess. Your powers will be needed to help defeat Cook.

_With the thought of revenge, I could feel my newly regained powers slowly receeding. The love I felt when I was with Kaede-chan, Shippo-kun, and even Tetsuya-sama had made me realize that I was not a bad person and release the awful memory of killing those bandits. My well of power had filled up again and I was ready to use it, but when I thought of using it out of revenge, I could feel the great reservoir slowly dwindling. I closed my eyes and refocused my thoughts, pushing away the desire for revenge… but it still lurked close._

_I clenched my hands in his great silver fur. _My mother's legacy, _I thought bitterly, and unfairly. My father's family had a history of revenge—the kazaana—and yet it was always my mother who never seemed willing to let something go. She had sought revenge for her family, for her village, for my father, and even sought revenge _on_ my father when he got out of line._

Hatsuhana and Rin have veered off of their designated route.

_I looked in the direction in which his nose pointed. "Do you think it possible that they spotted Cook somewhere other than in the shrine?"_

Sesshoumaru-sama admits that it is possible. We will not deter from the plan. We head for the shrine.

_My heart thumped with excitement.__ I wanted my shrine back! Yet I looked back behind me with longing. Kaede-chan and Tetsuya-sama were out there somewhere, in the blackness which my eyes could not penetrate. Was it them I heard screaming? Was it them crying out for aid, their pleas falling on deaf ears? I narrowed my attention to the task at hand._

_Kill Cook. Then find Kaede-chan and Tetsuya-sama and fight alongside them._

* * *

Kaede-chan speaks:

_It was with great pride that I watched our men leap out of the crowd, and strike down the men who had invaded their home. I may have spent most of time growing up reading manga, listening to j-rock, and pigging out on junk food, but the feudal era was where I felt alive. People were so caught up with their own lives in the 21__st__ century that they had become ego-centric. They didn't understand what it was to fight for survival. Survival was handed to them, in the forms of food dispensers, indoor plumbing, grocery stores, corner stores! These people, in the feudal era, fight to live every single day._

_The men of my village were not even__ armed as well as the soldiers. The soldiers had armour, swords and cutlasses, and guns. The villagers had clubs and pitchforks, and some had rakes. They spun on their attackers and shoved their pitchforks into their bellies. Some of the Englishmen fought back, driving their swords into the bodies of their assailants, so that both men fell. I pitied them, and touched my own stomach, remembering the agony of dying from a stomach wound._

_Some of them, however, had trained with the demon slayers. Even armed with rakes, they knew where to hit a man to keep him down. They struck with the hilt of the rake at pressure points, inflicting massive amounts of pain or even unconsciousness, and yet leaving the body mostly untouched. They fought impressively. I was jealous of their talents. I may have trained with a sword since I'd been a little girl, but I had my father's raw strength and stamina. I did not have their talent. I had my mother's klumsiness, too. I could not make fighting graceful or beautiful like the demon slayers could…_

_My arrival on the field of battle gave the demons there a pause. They stared at me, wondering if their senses were lying. When they realized that I was indeed a quarter-demon, the demons snarled and charged me. The humans with them, uncertain of what was going on, followed suit rather than be left behind. I stood __alone with my sword, facing a wall of opponents._

This is it! _I told myself. Filled with the desire to be as brave as the villagers, I thought this was my chance to harness my father's legacy. I _would_ use the _kaze no kizu_, and it _would_ be effective!_

_I lifted my sword, feeling it fill with energy, with my strength and resolve, and brought it down in a vicious swipe. Light and the s__cent of freshly overturned dirt filled my senses. When the light cleared, I panicked._

_Two of the demons lay dead. The rest had been shaken by my attack, and were now walking towards me. Their eyes glittered with the scent of my fear. They knew I could not defeat all of them. Maybe one by one I could have defeated them, but not six on one. My _kaze no kizu_ had not stopped them. It had not become stronger._

Daddy…_ No! Daddy's not here!_

_"Kaede!"_

_A tingling rose along my skin. I could feel a holy power being used. I whirled to see Tetsuya-sama behind me, strips of paper in his hand. He launched the ofuda into the air and they struck the demons, freezing them in place. I vaguely heard him shouting 'now!', but I was already reacting. He had stopped them, giving me the opportunity to destroy them. _

_I rushed in, and swung my sword. One swipe beheaded a demon. Another swipe gutted one. The follow-through sliced the arm off a demon, and my last struck the largest demon in his heart. I had to use my foot to push him off of my sword. Hot blood stung my face. I wiped it off quickly. Some demon blood was acidic, and I did not have my father's fira-rat robes to protect me. Later, I knew, the violence of it all would affect me. I only prayed that my body would wait until after the battle was over before the shock and nausea incapacitated me._

_The others turned and ran, searching for weaker pray. Instinct told me to follow them, and did not care if I struck them from behind, so long as they were dead and no longer a threat to me. Instead, I turned to smile at Tetsuya-sama._

_"Thank you for your help." I looked at the carnage, glad that I could not see it clearly in the night light.__ The blood looked black, and clumps of grass hid the body parts. The smell I just had to ignore. "Why… why did you help me?" I was glad that he'd been there. I think his actions had probably saved my life. But this was a _monk_. How could he paralyze them knowing that I was going to kill them while they were defenceless?_

_He gave me a kind smile. "Arashi-sama has already lost one of her friends. I will not let her lose any others." H__e placed a hand on my shoulder. "Come, let us proceed together. The demons seem to have a particular desire to kill you, and I believe I can help you with them, and in return your eyes can help me see."_

_I returned his smile and took his hand in mine to lead him deeper into the battle._

* * *

We followed Shippo's guidance. He led us to the large house where the women were being kept. Hatsuhana kicked down the door. Screams erupted from inside when they women there saw it was a demon, but then Shippo raced in between Hatsuhana's long legs. He held up his arms and tried to stand up tall.

"It's okay! It's me, Shippo! Hatsuhana is with us! He won't harm you!"

There was the sound of rustling, as the women warily backed away from the door. Even though some of the women there knew and trusted Shippo, the way the foreign demons had treated them had scared them deeply enough that Hatsuhana's presence was choking. Seeing that the room was clear, he moved in enough so that I could stand by his side and shut the door. His arm closed gently around my shoulder, and he said the one thing that soothed their fears.

"Have any of you a light or a candle? It's too dark for my wife to see."

In two short sentences he had told the women that another female was present, that he was married, and that he obviously cared deeply for me if he thought enough of me to be concerned about me seeing in the darkness. There was a moment of silence, in which the sound of candle being struck sounded like the sound of one of the cannons outside going off. A candle was lit, and then slowly the lamps that lined the walls were set alight, casting flickering shadows about the room.

There were forty women crammed inside the small room. Some of them sported bruises on their faces. Some of those women hid from Hatsuhana, but others bore the marks proudly. They were the ones who had fought back. A pile of laundry waiting to be cleaned and sewed sat in the middle of the floor. It was so large that to get from one side of the room to the other, one would have to wade in it. In the corners sat strange looking presses, and after staring at them a moment I realized they were for washing clothes. The clothes would be washed in the basin, and then plucked up and forced between the two rollers to squeeze out any access water.

I remembered Cook interrogating me. He had told me I would wash and darn his socks for him, or I would be served to the camp. He used the women to supply his army. This barrack here was for washing clothes. The women in the room were either very old or very young.

"There's another one next door."

"The women there would be of middle age. They would be forced to do the heavier work rather than just washing and repairing clothes," I said. Hatsuhana nodded. He had figured out Cook's plan as well.

He held his chin high as he regarded the women. "Lord Sesshoumaru was asked by Arashi-sama to come and reclaim this village from Cook. We are storming the village. It is best if we were to take you out of harm's way lest you become injured in the fire fight. We can guide you in small groups out of the city safely. Who shall come in the first wave?"

It was decided that the youngest of the women would go in the first wave. These were the women who were most in fear of the invaders, and in the greatest threat from their perverted ways. The oldest women volunteered to go last. They, they said, had the least to live for. If they died from an errant cannonball, it did not matter to them, for death could come for them any day.

Hatsuhana escorted them out in human form, hoping to cause less of a distraction that way. It would have looked bad for our troops if they had seen Hatsuhana in his demon form running away from battle. With Shippo to scout ahead for him he hoped he could avoid any unnecessary fights. I had no doubt that he could protect such a large group. He was a skilled fighter, and although the women were not demon slayers, they knew how to defend themselves if armed.

Sango was very good about trying to teach the village women ways to keep out of the wandering hands of men.

I was left with the women, where Hatsuhana thought I would be safe. I could also help keep the women calm as we heard people die and scream around us. I learned much of what had been going on in the village since I had left, and learned of Cook's obsession with Goshinboku. One by one, he had interrogated villagers about it, trying to discover its secrets. No one outside of Kaede-chan's family, with the exception of myself, however, knew that the tree could pierce the veil of time, and so the secret remained safe.

Cook was not happy with Nippon as it was now. He sought to reach some other time, to conquer that as well. He was a monster, devouring whole cities and countries in an effort to slake his thirst for pillage and plunder… and power. His desire for power motivated every move he made, from shaving the heads of his slaves to beating the innocent.

While we were waiting for Hatsuhana to return, there was a knock on the door. It was too soon for him to return. I drew my _wakazashi_ and slipped behind the door. It was not honourable to attack from behind, but if the person on the other side of the door was a demon, they would be aware of me before I could stab them. I motioned for one of the other women to open the door.

She relaxed at once. "It's okay, Lady Rin. You can put your weapon away. They are friends."

I did as she said, if warily. Two people entered the room, and I smiled at once. "Nadia! Asuka!"

The pretty Japanese woman smiled at me as we greeted each other with a hug. "_Lady_ Rin? You should have told us you were someone of great importance! Had we met under other circumstances, I could have greatly embarrassed myself."

I laughed and hugged Nadia, mindful of her bruised and scared back. She patted my back hard, understanding my gentleness and trying to reassure me that all was well. "Had I told you I was friends with great lords, you might have thought I was lying. Trust me, you would not think I was a lady if you saw me after days of being on the road, drenched in my own sweat and smelling like demon horses."

"So it's true then?" Asuka's dark eyes glittered. "We had heard a powerful demon came and took you away from Cook. You were rescued by a dog lord?"

"I was, the same lord who now fights to free this city from Cook. You will fight alongside us, yes?"

Nadia's white teeth were like bits of pearl against her dark skin, and for the first time since I met her she spoke in Japanese, her voice deep and hypnotizing. "I have been waiting for this day since I arrived in Nippon. We fight."

* * *

Arashi speaks:

_The shrine was dark. It was to be expected, as it was the middle of the night, and yet the sight of my home, dark and silent, made me worried. Sesshoumaru-sama bent down low, so that I could slip off his back. When my feet landed on solid ground, my hand automatically went to my sword. Sesshoumaru-sama returned to his normal human form as I inspected the shrine._

_What had these men done to it? It smelled of urine and sake. Gouges were in the posts, where __men had carved their names. The lion-dogs that guarded the shrine had been knocked over and shattered. The windows had been broken. They had desecrated it. I felt hot tears beginning to sting my eyes and I blinked them away, using my pride to buffer them from falling. I would not embarrass myself by breaking down in front of Sesshoumaru-sama._

_"Get behind me." He drew his sword and brushed by me, the first to enter the shrine. I followed Sesshoumaru-sama. The smell__ of freshly blown-out candles drifted by me. Someone had just been in the shrine, and had blown out the candles to hide. Sesshoumaru-sama was a ghost in the darkness, pale and shimmering. "Someone is here. Three people."_

_"Is one of them Cook?" _

_"Yes."_

_Something heavy moved in the darkness. I realized that it was the sound of chains. A voice, cracked and dry, emerged from the darkness, by the altar at the back of the shrine. "A… Arashi? Is that you?"_

_My heart stopped beating. I forgot all of my training at the sound of that voice. My jaw fell open. "Kissaki!"_

_I began to move forward, and then Sesshoumaru-sama's arms plucked me out of the darkness. I was pressed to his chest and struggled to free myself. I squirmed, trying to wiggle free, but his arms merely tightened around me. I could feel his sharp teeth near my ear, and his voice was a subtle whisper. "Don't move. There are still two other demons in this room."_

_"That's right. Come one step closer and I'll slit her throat."_

_Sesshoumaru-sama did not have to give me any instructions on what to do next. My voice trembled a little as I spoke. "Kissaki?"_

_"He… there's a knife." The next word was choked into silence. He would not let her speak any further. There was no question about where the knife was being held._

_When he was certain that I was not going to run, Sesshoumaru-sama let me go. My grip tightened until I could feel every detail of the hilt of my sword pressing into my palm. Kissaki was alive, and only the darkness and Cook's weapon stood between us. I could not even talk to Sesshoumaru-sama without Cook overhearing. I had to trust the demon lord. His sight would be able to pierce the darkness. I closed my eyes; they were useless anyway. I opened myself to my powers, concentrating on the presence of the demons, until I could feel where they were._

_Sesshoumaru-sama, in my mind's eye, burned a brilliant green so vibrant and bright it seemed silver. He was tall and imperious, a straight line of power.__ Then the second demon appeared, a small ball of smouldering fire. I recognized it at once. I had not felt it earlier because of my elation over Kissaki being alive. It was Kirara. As I concentrated, the smouldering began getting brighter._

_I knew what was going to happen. Sesshoumaru-sama knew, too. He had not recognized Kirara's specific scent, but he could tell the third demon was a cat-demon, and he could smell me, see my mother's sword. He had seen my mother enough to put two and two together._

_A soft glow emerged from above us, in a cage. It was the only warning Sesshoumaru-sama had before the fire erupted. The metal screamed as it cracked and creaked, shattering as Kirara assumed her true form. Cook cried out, and his grip on the sword relaxing as he raised his free arm to shield his eyes._

_Sesshoumaru-sama reacted instantly, darting forward and striking at Cook's hand.__ Cook recovered quickly and released Kissaki-chan to deflect Sesshoumaru's blade. The two of them spun off, becoming a blur sword and steel, while Kirara provided light for me to see. She had recovered enough of her strength to assume her real form, but not enough that she dared take on Cook._

_I rushed to Kissaki, and gasped. I could not even bring myself to touch her, __for fear that I might hurt her. If not for her voice, I do not think I would have recognized her. Like Rin, her hair had been shorn to disgrace her. It was coated with dirt and sweat. Her nose had been broken and was swollen, disfiguring her whole face. It looked as though it been done recently, for the blood coating her chin was still damp. Both of her eyes had been blackened, and the swelling blinded her. Marks coated her neck. Bruises coated her body. She had been stripped naked. Her feet were red and raw from being struck. Her back was bloody from having been whipped. Her hands, the chains hanging off of them and dragging her down, fumbled for mine._

_"Arashi?"_

_"It's me, Kissaki. It's me."_

_She sobbed with relief. For all of the blood and bruises, for all the damage he had inflicted upon her, it was the sound of her crying that chilled and enraged me the most. Kissaki had always been the rock in our family. She had always been the first to rush in blindly, there to protect us. Seeing her weakened enough to cry…_

_I turned back to the fight. Cook and Sesshoumaru were fighting in a blur.__ It would be suicide to become involved in the fray. Kirara pressed by me, licking Kissaki's hand reassuringly. I barely felt her furry body pressing against mine. I wanted the satisfaction of feeling my sword sliding in between Cook's ribs!_

_Kirara nudged me toward the back room, where I would normally sleep. I ignored her, until she snarled at me. Then I listened to her. Cook's things were scattered throughout the room. He had stacks of gold, silks, scrolls… and weapons. A very familiar bow and quiver of arrows sat atop the pile. _

_Kagome's bow._

_I understood what Kirara meant at once. I was a decent shot with a bow, and if Kagome could shoot a purifying arrow, why couldn't I?_

_My hand closed around it, and it felt right. I sheathed my mother's sword, and threw my aunt's quiver over my shoulder.__ I pulled an arrow from the quiver, and returned to the spare room. Kissaki was crying out for me, wondering where I had gone. I said nothing. Cook was so concentrated on Sesshoumaru-sama that he had forgotten about me entirely._

_I __drew my bow, arrow snug between my fingers, and I felt the arrow filling with my energy. I could see it in my mind's eye. I could see Aunt Kagome standing in front of me, drawing back the arrow, concentrating, and letting the arrow soar through the air, watching as it burst with energy, shimmering and looking like a shooting star as it struck. I released the arrow, watching as it burst to life!_

_My aim was a little off, but Sesshoumaru-sama __recognized my attack for what it was the moment he heard the twang of the bow. Cook came from a land which did not have priestesses. He had heard stories of our power, but did not believe them. Sesshoumaru dodged out of the way, but Cook did not. The arrow struck him in the shoulder._

_It hurt him, but did not debilitate him. Sesshoumaru's sword swept in, but he managed to block the attack. He had been fighting right-handed, but when his sword arm became injured, he began fighting with his left-hand. I strung another arrow and pulled back, searching for an open shot. Sesshoumaru-sama locked swords with Cook, and began to spin him so that his back was to me._

_I took the opening he provided. The arrow struck his lower back and he howled in pain, whirling on me. His attack was so swift I did not have the chance to defend myself. His arm struck me, shattering Kagome's bow and sending me into wall. I saw dancing spots, and as they began to clear, I dimply heard something roaring. I thought it was Kirara, but I became aware that it was actually Cook._

_His attack on me had placed him right in front of Kissaki.__ Blind as she was, she was a trained _taijiya_. She could sense Cook standing in front of her, and when Kirara had first lash out, she had picked up the knife he had dropped when he shielded his eyes. She had plunged it into his stomach… no, I realized, eyes widening. She had shoved it a little lower than his stomach. No wonder he had roared!_

_He tried to strike her, but Kirar__a was there to defend her. Her teeth closed around his arm and she shook her massive neck. There was a crunch and then a tearing sound, and his scream became monstrous. He was trying to change his shape as Kirara pulled on the limb, and then with a popping sound the shoulder socket dislocated, and Kirara stood there with an arm in jaws, dripping blood._

_Sesshoumaru struck Cook so hard that his transformation was stopped. The Englishman lay sprawled out on the ground, the tip of Sesshoumaru's sword digging into his throat. His gold eyes were cold. "Do you surrender?"_

_I was surprised that he was offering a chance to surrender. "Look at what he did to the shrine! To my cousin! He doesn't deserve to surrender!"_

_Sesshoumaru glanced at me. I was on my hands and my knees, still struggling to stand from the force of my head striking the wall. I must have looked pathetic, and yet he still answered my question. "If he surrenders, I will send him back to his England. There, he will tell the other demons: this land belongs to Lord Sesshoumaru. Anyone who tries to invade it will be met by me.__ So long as I rule here, you will never penetrate the heart of Nippon. The next man they send with their blasting weapons and the intent to infiltrate my country in _any_ way shall be sent back in pieces. Do you understand?"_

_His teeth where chattering in shock. He was going to pass out soon from loss of blood. Thanks to the arrows st__ill sticking from his body, he would not be able to regenerate that blood for some time. "I… I understand."_

_"Where is the key for the woman chained at the altar?"_

_Cook was shaking so badly, he could not get the key. "Arashi." I picked myself up off the floor, and with Sesshoumaru's sword keeping Cook at bay, I pulled the purse off of his belt and dumped out the contents to find the key. _

_Kissaki's wrists were chafed and lined with bruises. I held her tenderly, and Sesshoumaru used the chains to bind Cook's ankles together. They did not quite fit him and must have hurt terribly, but that was part of the point. He threw him into the spare room, leaving Kirara to guard, and left to help end the battle still raging outside the shrine. I held Kissaki in my arms, letting her rest and cry against me. _

_That was how Tetsuya-sama found us. When he entered the shrine and spotted us, his face lit with relief and surprise at seeing Kissaki. Then his eyes flickered to me, and the relief became infinite. I suddenly longed to reach out for him, and touch him, to know that he was alive and real, but with Kissaki in my arms, seeing the happiness in his eyes was enough._

* * *

To be Continued...


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

There was no warning when the enemy soldiers barged into the women's strongholds. I do not know what they were thinking, seeking out women when they should have been fighting for their lives. I can only guess that perhaps they sought to cut their losses, and wanted to bring a woman along with them.

I was standing with Nadia and Asuka when the door opened. Three men entered and stood in the doorway, their eyes scanning the room, as if purveying it for its wares. They must have been either slow or unobservant, because they did not notice that there was no woman in that room underneath twenty-five years of age, save for Asuka and Nadia. Then the man in the front spotted me.

I was not dressed like the rest of them, in tattered _yakatas_ or in thread-bare European gowns. I was dressed as a man, in a _hakama_. Pants had allowed me to sit on Hatsuhana's shoulders more securely, and I had a greater freedom of movement. It is strange, but dressing like a man gave me a sense of security that I had not had before. I no longer had to walk demurely. With my short hair, I think the men at the door might have even thought I was a male. One of them began walking towards me. I sensed trouble and pulled my fan from my obi, bringing it out and fanning myself with it before covering the lower half of my face. My eyes did not leave his lower body, watching the tips of his fingers and his feet for movement.

"You don't belong here," he said in impeccable Japanese.

My voice was beguiling and soft. "The fighting made me afraid. I did not know where else to go."

He studied me, and his hand twitched toward his sword. "Liar."

I reacted out of instinct, leaping forward and swiping at him with the edge of my fan. He dodged, barely, and fumbled to draw his sword. Together, Asuka and Nadia both leapt at one of the other men, bare-handed. Asuka had the raw brawl of someone who knew how to fight, but not the finesse of rigorous training. Nadia used both hands together in a style of fighting I had never seem before. She was all limbs, and incredibly fast, given that she was a human herself.

My opponent tightened his grip on his sword and steadied it. His moment of being caught off-guard was over. My gaze darted to his face, trying to gauge his intent, and I knew that I had the upper edge. He thought I was all out of tricks, because I was a woman. His overconfidence was his weakness.

I struck out with my fan again, and feinted wide. He knocked my sword aside, and it was incredibly fast. I looked up, meeting his eyes directly. His eyes burned gold, his drawn teeth sharp. He was a demon, and he was toying with me. He could have pinned me up against the wall already, or skewered me in too, but he was _toying_ with me because he thought fighting with my little fan was _cute_.

But… he did not know about my sword.

As mad as it was, I danced closer to him. His sword sliced by me and I felt it haze my shirt. I jabbed at him, making quick strikes and forcing him back. One blow caught his chest as he leaned back, and the metal tongs of the fan sliced into his ribs. It was no more than a flesh wound, and it was a critical mistake on my part. He had thought that my fan was not a true weapon, but now he realized that there was more to it than pretty fabric. I had to move fast, lest he decide that it was better to kill me.

He swiped at me, but I did not let him control where to drive me. I stepped into this attacks, blocking them as was needed, and giving him the opening. He had a clear shot to my heart. Would he take it, or sense that something was wrong?

He took it, thinking it was a mistake, and not a feint. He drove his sword at my heart, and I prayed that I had measured his speed accurately. If he turned out to be faster than anticipated…

"Stop!"

The cry gave me a second of diversion. My attacker turned to see who had cried out, and I whipped my fan up. The sword pierced the fan and I snapped it shut, twirling it aside. The metal spokes of the fan caught his sword and while I pushed it away from me, I ducked underneath the blow and stepped into the strike as the _wakazashi_ fell into my hand, into my grip, and then into his heart.

I'd come body to body with him, and I could see his expression as he realized that he'd been bested by a human female. My face was expressionless. There was no pity in my eyes, or anger… only emptiness.

His lifeless body slid to the ground, revealing the doorway. Hatsuhana stood blocking the flickering light from outside, an expression of panic on his face. It has been his voice that had caught my attacker off-guard. His face filled with relief as he realized I was unharmed. Then suddenly he was crossing to me, and taking me into his arms. His presence filled me, his heartbeat slowed mine as he held me and kissed my hair.

"Bless that cousin of mine for teaching you how to protect yourself!"

As I stared down at the lifeless body on the floor, I was inclined to agree.

* * *

It did not take long for the rest of the village to fall once Cook was caught. Sesshoumaru hung his body up outside the temple, where everyone could see it. No one tried to rescue Cook, for fear of the great white demon guarding him. Slowly, his followers either died or surrendered.

By the light of day, we were able to take stock of the damages. Many people had died, and many homes had been destroyed. There would not be enough food in the village for sometime, and messengers were dispatched at once to collect food from untouched villages. The rice fields would need to be rebuilt entirely, if they could even be used at all.

We burned the bodies of the dead on a large pile out of town. The enemy dead we dragged off into the woods. We would not honour them with any type of ceremony. The crows would pick the flesh from their bones, and that would be the end of them. It took hours to collect the dead, and the fire burned well into the following day, sending billowing grey smoke into the sky for all to see.

There was so much destruction and loss, the whole village took part in whatever joy we could. When families were united, there were cheers, blessings, and even tears. For every broken home or dead friend, the villagers worked hard to find a dozen reasons to celebrate life and joy.

Nothing, however, brought them as much joy as learning that Arashi-sama and Kissaki-sama had survived. Arashi-sama was touched by their generosity as people came to her seeking blessings and prayers. They saw her as their pillar of strength, their saviour. Once she had been regarded as someone to fear and respect, but after Cook's defeat, people met her eyes with wonder and hope, and found not polite distance, but love and gentleness.

Arashi-sama and Shippo-kun rarely left Kissaki's side. Sesshoumaru-sama sent his best physician to look after her. She had been beaten badly, and suffered from broken bones, whip marks, bruises, burns, and more. It would be months before she would be strong enough to fight demons once again, maybe even months until she was well enough to run, and yet it seemed that laying as an invalid was what bothered her the most. She could deal with the physical trauma, the pain, but having to lie on a mattress, unable to feed herself, was hell on earth for her. I also tried to spend much time with her, and the silence of her bedroom gave me time to think.

I had a child in my belly, growing inside of me. What was I going to do about it? Should I tell Sesshoumaru-sama? Should Hatsuhana and I simply leave so that he would never know about the half-demon child of his lineage I carried? If the child was indeed Sesshoumaru-sama's, then what was I to do when the child was born and my husband saw it looked like Sesshoumaru?

Would it have his eyes, pure gold? Would it have his hair, like spun moonlight?

After three days, Sesshoumaru-sama and several of his best fighters left to escort Cook back to the beach. He would see them all put back on their ships so they could return to England and tell them that Nippon was ours, and we would not bow down to them. Hatsuhana was left in charge of the village defense, with the rest of the fighters. The war was over, but there was still a chance that brigands could take advantage of our weakness and plunder what was left of the half-burned city.

He was there when Arashi-sama told him that it was time to send Kaede-chan back. Kissaki refused to stay inside and insisted on going to see her off. My husband carried her in his arms, up the long slope to where Goshinboku and the well stood overlooking the village. It was a beautiful, sunny day, and there was a warm breeze. Clouds drifted through the sky, and the pyre had finally died out. The village looked like a deserted city, and so we turned away from it, to the bright leaves of the tree and to the boundless sky.

"I wish we could have waited until Sesshoumaru came back from escorting Cook back to his ship," Kaede-chan said as we stood staring at the tree. "I would have liked to have said good-bye to him, and thank him for what he did for the village. And I think I would have liked to tell him how I loved to hear stories about him when I was a little girl: how strong he was, how wild he was, how stern and commanding he was." She paused, and I could hear the thought running through her mind: Perhaps Sesshoumaru-sama would not hate his half-brother so much if he discovered that Inuyasha respected him... and maybe even missed him a little.

"He might not be back for some time, Kaede," Shippo wisely pointed out. "We need to do this now, while we have the time and the strength."

"Agreed," said Tetsuya-sama, with a kind smile. "Though it will be quite lonely here without you. No one here will ever forget you. I will tell the story in my village of a young women with demon blood who came from beyond the veil of time to protect us in our time of need."

She blinked away tears. "Thank you, Tetsuya-sama."

I gave Kaede-chan a hug, and then took her hands in mine. She gave my hands a squeeze. "Thank you for keeping my secret, Rin-chan. I apologize for having put you in that situation in the first place, and thank you for protecting me from Sesshoumaru-sama. I owe you my life."

I thought of the child in my womb and had to look away. I had to struggle not to look guilty when I lifted my face. "You owe me nothing, Kaede-chan. Tell your parents that they are missed."

"I will… and Hatsuhana-sama. I am sad that we did not have more time to get to know each other."

"As am I," he replied, ever the diplomat. "I feel that there is much we could have learned from one another. What I have learned about you—your devotion to your friends and family, their willingness to protect you at the cost of their own lives, your bravery—these things all do you credit. If other half-demons or quarter demons turn out to be as lively and spirited as you, then I admit that we may have done them a grave injustice."

His gaze shifted to me as he spoke, and his voice filled with warm admiration. I felt myself blush, though I wished I could remain stone faced. I could imagine the thoughts running through his mind as he spoke, and they were not about Kaede-chan. If it was his philosophy that humans and demons were meant to be together to compliment each other, then he was now beginning to regard half-demon children as beings capable of a demon's fighting gusto and a human's sociability.

I knew then, that when Sesshoumaru-sama returned, I had to say goodbye to him. I would pray that the child would look enough like Hastushana, or be his entirely, so that my affair with my lord would never become public. Sesshoumaru-sama let Kaede-chan live because I had pleaded for it; I could not trust him that he would give our child the same when they posed a threat to his lineage, his crown, and his marriage.

"Kissaki…" The two young women stared at each other for a long time and then embraced. It hurt Kissaki dearly to cling to her cousin, but she bore it, knowing it would be the last time. Kaede-chan's tears were flowing freely as she let go of her cousin. "Heal and be strong. I will never forget you. You're my best friend."

"And you mine."

"Shippo-kun…" Kaede-chan bent down to his level, but Shippo had other plans, launching himself at her and clinging to her shoulders. His whole body was shivering with emotions too strong for his little body to contain. She hid her face in his ruddy hair. "Shippo-kun, Arashi and Kissaki will not live forever. The city is your responsibility. Just as Kirara protected the demon slayer village, this is your home to protect. I know you will do well, because Tokyo stands even in my day. You will watch it grow and never let it forget its roots, won't you?"

He lifted his face from her shirt and wiped his runny nose with the back of hand. "I won't ever leave! I'll wait right here until you come back out of that tree, Kaede! I will!"

"I know you will." She covered his hair in kisses and then set him down on the ground, where he held to Kirara for comfort. Kaede-chan pet the cat-demon's head. "And Kirara will watch over you until you are old enough to be on your own."

_Meow!_

Kaede-chan's blue eyes lit up at Kirara's response. I think it meant something to her. There was only one person left. Arashi-sama placed an _ofuda_ on Kaede-chan's chest as she rose, and then stood back to regard her work.

"You won't ever be alone, Arashi-sama. Look at that tree whenever you need it and know that I'm there, thinking of you, and loving you. So long as that tree stands, I'll be with you."

It was hard to see how deeply the words affected her. Nothing showed on her face, but I knew that she was touched. She had to wait a long time to speak, until she knew for certain that her voice would not waver. "If I have done everything correctly, you should fall asleep and wake up immediately when you are supposed to in your own time."

"When would that be?" she inquired.

"You have been here for a few weeks, and so hopefully it will be a few weeks after you went through the well and became stranded here. If I have not done this correctly, Kaede-chan, then you will be awake for every second between now and when you are unsealed from that tree. I apologize for it now if I have."

Kaede-chan took the priestess' hand. "I have faith in you, Arashi."

Arashi-sama nodded and then lifted another _ofuda_. She turned to look at us. "I think it will help if you think of her parents too. It is her feelings for them that will carry her through time."

If there was ceremony involved, I did not see it. Arashi-sama spoke a few words, whispering them to Kaede-chan. I could not hear them, and so instead I did as she asked, and thought of Kagome-chan and Inuyasha. I thought of Kagome-chan's patience, her long black hair, her smile and her gentleness, and her fierce protectiveness of her friends. I thought of Inuyasha's brashness, his aggressiveness, and his quiet thoughtfulness when he thought no one was looking.

Arashi-sama placed the ofuda on the Goshinboku. There was a flash of light, and when it cleared, Kaede-chan was gone and the strips of paper lay gray and charred on the ground. We stood in silence, staring up at the great tree which now held Kaede-chan, until finally Arashi-sama turned to leave.

"We should get back. Kissaki probably needs a rest."

It was a poor excuse, but we all accepted it. When we returned to the village, we did not rest. Somehow, there was a container of sake laying in wait for us. We opened it and indulged in the rice wine as we shared stories over Kaede-chan. We laughed as Arashi-sama regaled us of how she'd tried to purify Kaede-chan as a little child, first revealing the powers of a priestess, at the bumps and scrapes Kaede had suffered as a little child, playing with Shippo, and fighting Sesshoumaru-sama.

At one point in the revelry, Arashi-sama and I found ourselves alone and out of ear shot. Her cheeks were flushed with wine, but her composure remained, cool and calm.

"When is the child due?"

"Excuse me?!" I was caught off guard, and touched my belly, wondering if others knew.

She smiled at me kindly. "You touch your belly whenever you think of him," she pointed out, and I glanced down to see that it was indeed true. I let my hand drop away immediately. "And I am a priestess. I have dealt with pregnant women before. There is a certain glow about the woman when she has determined she is with child. Your glow… is not as bright as it could be. For a woman to become pregnant at your age should be a matter of pride, and yet you seem to be keeping it a secret. Have you not told your husband yet?"

"I… I have not."

She frowned at me. "You should tell him soon, Rin-chan." She turned to look at Tetsuya-sama. "After all, some of us do not have the luxury of family that you do."

* * *

I spent my time helping to rebuild the village, after having sworn Arashi-sama to silence regarding my pregnancy. The fact that she could figure out my pregnancy from my body language left me feeling shaken and worried. I longed for Hikari's presence so that I could ask her questions about demons I had never before considered. Could Hatsuhana sense my pregnancy? Would he be able to detect it with his stronger sense of smell? When my baby had a heart and it began to beat, could he hear it?

I tried to avoid my husband after that night. He knew that something was wrong, and tried to justify it by telling himself that I had to be distressed from the brutality and violence of war. In truth, that did not bother me at all. Once you see Sesshoumaru-sama rend a demon limb from limb, you quickly become immune to the sight and scent of brutality. When we did encounter each other, he was hopeful about the future, filled with a kind of youthfulness I found as annoying as I did endearing. He spoke of getting away from Japan from a few years, of seeing the world, of getting far away from Sesshoumaru-sama… he wanted to speak to me of starting a family, but I always found a way to avoid him before the subject could be broached. At night, we slept in the same hut as Shippo, Tetsuya-sama, Arashi-sama, and Kissaki-sama. I was glad for it, for it meant he did not make any advances to me in that time. Had he tried to engage in marital affairs, I do not know if I would have welcomed his gentle affection with tears, or with rage.

After several days, I knew I had to speak to him before Sesshoumaru-sama returned. I had spent a lot of time thinking, and together Hatsuhana and I could be strong. We could make a family together and be happy. We had to be together in our resolve to leave, for I knew that alone, the moment that my lord returned, my resolve to leave his side would come into question.

I found my husband shirtless a top a house, straddling the support beam for the roof as he nailed it together. I stood there for a moment to admire his form, and smiled to myself. How long had Kagome perhaps stood in this own spot, watching Inuyasha mend the village after Naraku stormed through it? This spot, for whatever reason, seemed to attract demons to it, and mostly for the better.

"Rin!" He was surprised to see me, and his hazel eyes warmed. I had to yell to be heard over the sound of other men sawing lumber.

"I'm sorry to interrupt you. If you can leave that for the moment, could we take a walk? I need to talk with you."

He leapt down without hesitation, pulling his rolled down robe back up over his shoulders. His hair had been pulled back into a braid, but as we began to walk out of the village, he began to untie it, letting his hair breathe. It was, as it always was, pleasant to walk beside Hatsuhana. His silence was comforting, because he was allowing me the floor first. He would not pressure me into talking to him until I was ready.

I led the way, up through the great trees and up the sloping hill that overlooked the village. Houses were bright with fresh paint and newly hewn wood. The human resiliency was amazing. The city had been held in the grip of terror, but repair a few homes and life would continue and heal.

"Is this not the way to the Goshinboku?" he asked me.

"Yes." I stopped when the tree came into side. We stood side by side staring at it, until finally I found the courage to turn and face him. His poised face was open, if empty. He had no idea what I wanted to discuss in privacy, but his faith in me kept him from thinking it was something bad. "Hatsuhana, what you said when Arashi-sama sealed her cousin in the tree, do you still mean it? Would you risk your cousin and your lord's wrath in order to conceive a human child with me?"

"Yes." He did not stop to think about the question, and the amount of love contained within that single word was heartstopping. When I did not respond, he brushed my chin with his hand. "We do not even know if it would be possible for us to conceive a child together, Rin, but yes. After losing you to Cook, and seeing you fight, I have fallen even more in love with you. I would risk Sesshoumaru's wrath in order to have a family with you. I am selfish, and I would keep a part of you with me always after you are gone, to look into the eyes of our child and remember your quiet strength and your unwavering loyalty."

If only he knew how much those words pierced me!

"We would have to go far away to raise them, or spend our life wondering if Sesshoumaru is plotting against us."

"That is why I have been dropping hints this whole time." He smiled at me and we began strolling together once again. "I am pleased that you were the one who broached the subject, Rin. I was… concerned that you would not want to start a family." He paused when I did not respond. "With me."

I wondered if he was hinting at Sesshomaru-sama. "Why wouldn't I?"

Surprisingly, his cheeks began to darken, and his gaze slowly slid away from me. "Because I am not Sesshoumaru, and I know that you love him. You followed him into the heat of battle, you fly to his side with a crook of his finger! You are completely enamored of him, despite the fact that he cast you away, forced you to wed _me_! I am a burden that he put upon your shoulders, and I wonder sometimes if you do not bear me with a smile because of who placed me by your side."

"Husband…" I let the word slide away as I drew to a stop, touching his arm gently so that he would face me. "Hatsuhana, you are my _husband_. Ye… yes, I do love Sesshoumaru, and sometimes the duty I feel to you and that I have for the man who raised me clash. But that does not mean I have not come to love you because of who _you_ are. If I did not love you, I would not have married you, no matter what Sesshoumaru ordered me to do. I would not allow myself to become a political pawn whose sole value was my maidenhead. I agreed to it because I have never met a man who was warrior, scholar, _and_ poet… save for you."

"But just because you loved me, that does not mean that you would agree to raise a half-demon child, knowing very well the prejudice against them, particularly when they stand in a position to threaten Sesshoumaru-sama's reign, bearing his same bloodline."

"No," I agreed. I took in a deep breath, praying. "The fact that I am already with child would, however. We no longer have a choice in the matter." I covered my womb with my hand. "The decision has been made for us."

For a long time he stood frozen, gaze held tightly to my hand protecting my child. His jaw was slack, his eyes bright and feverish. Shock, I thought, but happiness too. He simply needed time to decide how to respond. I needed to act fast, to cleanse myself of the guilt I bore. _Strike now,_ I told myself, _while he is still dazed._

"Hatsuhana," I said gently. "There is a chance that the child is not yours."

I had thought long and hard on how to bring up the subject. I knew it needed to be done before he could feel the swell of pride that made men think the child was theirs. That it was mine was obvious, but before I could let him think of himself as a father, I needed to prepare him for the chance the child could be gold-eyed and silver-haired.

More than that, I needed to unburden myself from the guilt that I felt. I could not bear both it and a child. The load was too heavy, and growing heavier by the day.

His eyes hardened against once, but not at me. He grabbed me by the shoulders so tightly I could hear my bones grinding, and went limp to keep from clenching in pain. I was frightened, and that made him even angrier. "Was it Cook? Was it?! If it was, I swear on all that is sacred I will leave at once and bring back his head…"

"No!" His mind had at once jumped to the worst possible conclusion, that I had been raped while a prisoner of Cook's. His grip eased a little and I patted one of his hands soothingly. "I have not been raped, Hatsuhana."

"Then… then the sex was mutual?"

I nodded, and could not bear the pain in his eyes as he released me. His hands clenched by his side. "Who? Who would…" He did not need to go any further. The answer was obvious. He had already pointed out that I loved my lord, and had hinted that it was too much. If I loved Sesshoumaru-sama enough to risk defying my husband, would I also love him enough to lay with him?

Yes. Yes, yes, and yes.

My cheeks were wet with tears, and I hurried to dry them before they became obvious. I would not cry, not for my own guilt, or the sullen state of my childish love for my lord, nor for my husband's pain. I would _not_ use them as a weapon against Hatsuhana. I had not cried for him when I committed the act, and so I would not know.

"My _cousin_?" Gods above help me, it was in the same tone as when he demanded if it had been Cook. His expression was some terrible blend of panic, pain, and anger. I reached out to touch him, and he pulled back. "My _cousin_?"

"Sesshoumaru told me that in demon marriages, monogamy is not always…"

"I _am_ a demon! I know _damn_ well what our society says!" he barked at me, baring his teeth. "I know it better than you do! So long as _all_ parties involved agree, then there is no monogamy involved!"

"We were in agreement!"

"But _I_ wasn't, and I should have been! If you did not agree with me sleeping with someone else, then I wouldn't, and if I didn't agree with you doing it, than you wouldn't!"

"You weren't exactly there to ask when it happened! It's not as if I had _planned_ on getting kidnapped, rescued by Sesshoumaru, and then have sex with him!"

"Oh, is _that_ when it happened!" I sighed and he began walking away from me. "I need to go and take a run, let out some of this steam." He began to change forms and then paused, reverting fully to human form before he turned to look at me one last time. "Do you know what really hurts the most, Rin? If you and he had this much passion for one another and you had asked me, I would have told you to go for it, because I know how much he loved you back. I would not have stayed in the way of what you wanted because as selfish as I can be, as much as I desire you, I wanted to make you happy."

I cried out for him, but he did not turn back again. He simply changed forms and walked away, disappearing into the green underbrush. Alone, with no one left to think my tears a silly female trick for pity, I cried, and I sobbed, until there were no more tears left.

* * *

Hollowed out and empty, I returned to the village on my own and threw myself into my work. I worked until my clothes were drenched in sweat and the villagers fetched Arashi-sama to tear me away from heavy manual labor. Alone, she chastised me for working so aggressively when I was with child.

"Your mother still fought and taught when she was pregnant with you," I spat at her. I was filled with self-hatred and frustration, and was seeking a fight. Her eyes snapped, but much to my frustration, she did not return my challenge.

"My mother also suffered from complications with the birth and they eventually killed her. My mother _also_ was not in her third decade of life." I hung my head, knowing she was right. Childbirth was dangerous. She sat next to my on the work bench, pressing a cup of water and a rice cake into my hands. "I'm not saying that you can't work, and work hard, but three straight hours is a little bit too much for anybody. Don't guzzle it!"

She took the cup away when I nearly drowned myself trying to drink it all at once. I had not realized how thirsty I was until I saw the cup of water. "I think you have a point." I chewed slowly on the rice cake. It was unflavoured, unadorned, but it was the best rice cake I had ever eaten. "Has there… has there been any sign of my husband?"

"No. I'm hoping he comes back soon. The village feels… empty without him, somehow."

"He fits in to human society well."

"I assume he left because you told him about…" She motioned to my stomach, and I nodded. She blinked in surprise, her long hair floating in the breeze. I wished for my long hair back, feeling suddenly vulnerable perched on a bench, my neck burning in the sun. "His reaction was not what I would have suspected."

I shook my head. "His reaction was not to the news that I was pregnant, Arashi-sama. His reaction was from the fact that the child might not be his." I saw the query in her eyes. "No, I will not tell you. It is between my husband and I. Worse was the fact that I deceived him. For a little while, I was able to forget this pain… and now that I have stopped, all I feel is loneliness… and hunger."

She laughed, a pleasant sound. "Sometimes I think loneliness and hunger are very similar things to feel. One way or another, he will return. You only have to wait. Why don't we move out of the sun and do some indoor work for a little while, Rin? Kissaki's dressings could use a changing." I nodded, bringing my cup of water with me.

* * *

Indeed, I only had to wait. Darkness had fallen by the time my husband returned, and sleep eluded me. There was a gentle knock against the wall of our hut, and I could see him in shades of gray against the night sky. He motioned me forward when he saw I was awake. I had no fear in venturing out with him. If there were demons or humans around wishing us harm, I was safe with him. Though I felt fear, it was more to do with him and his reactions than from walking in the woods at night.

We ended up sitting on the hill, the same one upon which rested Goshinboku and the well. We sat beside each other without touching, and he was the first to speak.

"I'm sorry that I ran off on you. I needed to think, and to expel energy. I thought I was going to explode from being pulled in a thousand different directions."

"I understand."

"What I suggest is going somewhere far away. I will show you all the wonders I have seen: the great wall that stretches into the horizon, great white castles, elephants, mountain ridges covered in snow, all that your heart desires. We will raise our child somewhere far away from here, where Sesshoumaru can not disturb us, and we will never again return to these shores… simply promise me, Rin, _promise_ me, that your affair with him is over." His hand touched mine, and his fingers slowly closed around my palm. His skin was hot to the touch, feverish. "Once, I would have allowed it because I know how you feel about him, but to think that it may be his child growing inside of you… I will love our child, because it is yours, but he has taken too much from me already. I cannot lose you to him, Rin."

"I understand."

I did understand. He was afraid that if I kept seeing my lord, I would fall further and further in love with him until my human heart had no more room for Hatsuhana. He was afraid that bit by bit, Sesshoumaru-sama would consume me until I was his. Already he had given me a child, and I would watch the child grow and always be reminded of him, while my love for Hatsuhana would slowly wither away with time, until there was nothing left to prove that once I had a husband who was passionate, fierce, and thoughtful.

He looked at me. I had not yet promised. I brought his hand to my lips and kissed his fingers. "I promise, it's over."

Gods above help me, I would abide by it!

His hand cupped my cheek, and pulled me to him. I kissed him feverishly. His other arm closed around me, held our bodies so tightly together I could hear his heartbeat, feel it echo my own. We made love right there on the crest of that hill, our clothes above and beneath us, the stars watching us. It was desperate, full of sweetness and our need to forgive, and know we were forgiven. When we were done, we lay entwined together, and the stars continued their eternal dance.

* * *

To be continued...

AN: I actually put two chapters together for chapter 22. Thank you so much for your kind comments! Everything that was written from the point of Rin confronting her husband on was because I felt so inspired for your awesome reviews. I can now also confirm for you that the end is near. There will only be two chapters left... well, one chapter and an epilogue. If you have any questions about why I chose to write things the way I did, this is your time to answer them. This story has taken so long to write that I feel I must add something on about some of the reasons and rationality behind it all. I sincerely hope that you enjoyed chapter twenty-two, and I hope to see you again soon.  
(I just need to beat Assassin's Creed first so I can return it to a friend...)


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 24**

_My name is Hatsuhana. I am Lord Sesshoumaru's cousin. I have travelled this hemisphere of the known world. Never did a meet a woman like my wife. I have met women too demure to meet a man's eyes, and women brave enough to fight an armed man with nothing more than a dagger. I have met women willing to die for their beliefs. I have met female scholars, female astronomers, and philosophers, and yet no woman ever seemed as intelligent, as modest, or as loyal as Rin._

_And soon I learned that loyalty would never be to me. No matter how much she came to love me, or how many years we spent together, she would never be loyal to me._

_She was Sesshoumaru's, and always would be._

_When Sesshoumaru returned to collect the rest of the troops, Rin went to confront him about leaving…_

* * *

I found him in the shrine, standing perfectly still and surveying the damage. We had left rebuilding the temple until last, for it would need the most work. Houses were needed for people to live, farms for food, and places to store the food for the lean season. With Arashi-sama in the village, they would look to her for spiritual guidance, and so they had no need to come into the shrine…

It was disheartening to see the dirt and blood the Englishmen had brought in with them. The entire building would need purification again. I think it would have broken the villagers to see the desecration that had befallen their spiritual centre. Statues toppled over, names carved into sacred wood, chains added to altars to make their tops beds for slaves, and floors used as urinals.

"Rin."

Sesshoumaru-sama heard me enter and turned. His eyes seemed very far away, but his expression settled when we faced. He had been deep in thought about something.

"Am I disturbing you, my lord?"

"No… No, Rin, you are not. Why are you here?"

"I have come to say goodbye." My voice was steady, and yet I felt like I was shaking on the inside. Every part of me was quivering. It intensified when Sesshoumaru-sama's eyes widened. I knew I had to leave before I exhausted my courage. If I remained too long, I would surrender to the pull that had captured me even as a child, the feeling that even standing this far from him, I had found a home.

"Goodbye?" One slender eyebrow arched, an inquisitive expression, and stern at the same time. He was suspicious, and when I saw his nose twitch, I knew he could smell my fear.

I nodded, and bowed my head, avoiding that gaze. I could not see the silent accusation I saw forming, and should it turn to hurt when I explained why I had to leave, what was left of my heart would shatter. "Hatsuhana and I are going to be leaving to come back. He wants to take me to see the world." I paused, trying to give him time to process the information. "Given my age, I do not plan on coming back before I die."

I made a mistake, telling Sesshoumaru-sama that it was his cousin who was taking me away from him. In one smooth stride, as fast as the blink of an eye, he had crossed the room and had grasped my shoulders. His voice was a thick snarl, and I kept my gaze away from his face.

"Why are you going off with _my cousin_?"

Giving my lips a quick lick, I replied, "He is my husband."

"And you would leave my side?" There had been a moment pause before he had asked the question. The pause had been heart-wrenching, for in that moment it became apparent that I _was_ hurting him by leaving him. He had become so used to me being a part of his life, despite the fact that my life was but a brief flash in his. He had always thought old age or natural causes would be the force that took me from his side, and instead it was another man. He was sad to see our time together end, and jealous, too.

I could not tell him of my child. He must never know of it, must never see it as a threat, must never know another branch of his line existed. Instead, I slowly nodded. My head felt limp, without pride. "I would leave, my lord. The threat here is ended and I am getting old. I wish to see the world, and Hatsuhana would show it to me."

"Are you not happy here? You could have your own house, more servants, prettier things." He was not pleading with me to stay, but tempting me into staying. My lord would not plead, but he could try to persuade with promises of gifts or power. "You could stop working and live the rest of your days in luxury!"

"I do not want luxury, my lord, I want adventure and beauty."

"Rin…"

"If you love me, my lord, you will let me go."

His grip on my shoulders tightened. I could feel it as his jaw loosened and his lips parted slightly, a sure sign of open vulnerability. He truly did not want to let me go. He was jealous and selfish. I had always said that my lord was governed by his emotions; emotions which ran so deeply in him that there were rapids hidden beneath a calm stream.

"I do love you, Rin."

The admission was soft and gentle. I looked up into his face, filled with the hope that he would let me leave with his blessing. He was admitting defeat. He lifted one of his hands and brushed my cheek gently with his thumb. His eyes were still hard, his lips parted, his stance rigid… he was being sincere with me and it caused him great discomfort.

"Despite everything, I do love you. Long have I thought about it, and it defies all rationality. You are too slow, too weak, too young, too short-lived… But you were the first person who showed me the meaning of kindness."

"Then you will let me leave?"

"I would never have stopped you. All I ask of you is that you show me kindness once again. Was there ever a time that you loved me back?"

His followers loved him. The people of this village thought he was their saviour. Nadia, who had promised to accompany us back to her home village, thought he was a god. His niece loved him. His wife loved him. The difference was that I loved him completely and unconditionally. I asked nothing in return for my love. I did not even ask for him to love me back.

I blinked away tears. "Yes. Now. I love you now. That is why I must go. I cannot stay here, to watch you live with the closest thing I have to a female friend, and to think of the nights we shared together when I lay with my husband. Having to choose between you and he is tearing me apart. I cannot continue to fight between my duty to you and the honour my husband deserves, or the honour I deserve to myself."

The thumb resting against the curve of my cheek was hot. His eyes were deep, pulling me in. I could feel hot tears trickling down to my chin, and his gaze followed them. He held me as one would cradle someone they cherished. Knowing it would be the last time I saw him, I leaned up and pressed my lips to his. He was unresponsive at first, stiff with surprise, but slowly his mouth melted to mine. My lips parted, and his arms closed around me. I could feel wetness on his face—my tears on his skin—and it broke my heart when I wondered if leaving had finally cracked open the hard shell around him which I had always admired.

We were still kissing—our bodies entwined, lost to everything but each other—when Hatsuhana entered the shrine to see what was taking so long. He stood and stared at the scene before him, and in our lust for each other, we did not notice him… not until he spoke.

"You promised me, Rin." We jumped apart, guiltily. I could feel my face turn red with shame, and my lips still throbbed from the way Sesshoumaru-sama had kissed me. Hatsuhana's voice and expression were cold. "You promised me."

"He knows?" Sesshoumaru-sama interrupted before I could apologize, or maybe protest. I do not truly know what I was going to do. His voice was full of anger, a dangerous contrast to my husband's stark nothingness. "He knows about us?"

I sighed. "Yes." I hung my head in shame before raising my eyes to his, pleading and hoping that he would understand. "He's my husband, Sesshoumaru-sama. I had to tell him. Keeping a secret like that from him was tearing me apart inside. As you pointed out to me long ago, my lord, you raised me to believe in human values. What I did, in human terms…"

The thought did not need to be finished. He nodded, and as we stood staring at one another, we heard Hatsuhana draw his sword. I had not moved away from my lord, and he was frustrated. He felt as though we were ignoring him, lost in our own world, and he was quickly becoming angrier. The sword glimmered white in the filthy remains of the temple, and beside me, Sesshoumaru-sama shoulders stiffened.

"Put. Your sword. Away." The words were forced out from between tight lips. He considered it an act of treason to draw a sword in his presence. When Hatsuhana did not put the sword away, Sesshoumaru-sama drew his, and it all but radiated light. Both of them were squaring off. "I said, _cousin_: put. Your sword. Away."

As Sesshoumaru-sama is controlled by his emotion, so too is his cousin. Both of them were wild with jealousy for the other: the man who wanted me, had me, and the man who had first had me, now wanted me. I rushed to my husband, and tried to tell him that Sesshoumaru-sama had given us his blessing to go, but the first word never even parted my lips. When my lord saw me rush to the side of his cousin, choosing him, he reacted by rushing at his cousin.

Their swords met above me in a clashing ring that made my ears hurt. I ducked, covering my head and my ears, and tried to move out of the way. Hatsuhana was laughing wildly at his cousin, laughing at the way he had given into his feelings of jealousy, belittling him, and it only made my lord angrier.

He pushed Sesshoumaru away and came at him with his own attack. My lord parried, and I leapt on his arm before he could thrust, pulling it back with all the strength I could muster. Sesshoumaru didn't even bother to look down, but threw me off with one flick of his powerful arm. My head struck a beam, jiggling an oil lamp hanging from the ceiling. Drops landed on the ground, dark spots sinking into the dirt and dust on the floor, and I heard the sound of clashing swords as the world came back into perspective.

Both of them were so lost in their emotions that I feared they would kill each other. They seemed so intent on it, lashing out with blows aimed at decapitation or dismemberment without a second thought, and all because of me. Because I could not contain my lust! Because I could not choose, and had done _all_ my lord had _ever_ asked of me thinking it would please him! Because I had not been brave enough to defy my lord until it was too late!

Sesshoumaru drew first blood, a line down my husband's leg. I hoped, as I staggered to my feet, that drawing blood would end the fight, but Sesshoumaru-sama merely sneered at his cousin.

"You always were weaker than me."

His grip on his sword tightened. "I have learned much since we were boys together." His sword spun through the air, a complicated series of moves that distracted my lord and forced him back, his eyes always moving to follow the tip of the sword as it passed by him, nearly piercing his robes, nearly slicing a strand of wayward silver hair, nearly striking his heart…

Until mine got in the way.

I had rushed in to try to stop them, thinking Hatsuhana would pull back, thinking they would never hurt me, thinking… over-thinking everything and not realizing that stepping between two fighting demons fuelled by their honour and the scent of blood in the air was incredibly stupid!

For a moment that seemed an eternity, we three all stood there: Sesshoumaru looking completely shocked with wide gold eyes, the blood slowly leaking out from around my wound to fall on the floor like drops of oil, and my husband's sword sticking straight through my heart.

* * *

_I went to pull the blade out, but she stopped me by placing one of her small hands on mine. Her hands, which had seemed so gentle when they tended her tiger lilies, now seemed so strong. If I pulled the blade out, she would die immediately. At least, like this, she had time for a few last breaths before her knees gave out. It was Sesshoumaru who caught her as she fell. I was too blinded by my tears._

_"Rin! _Rin!" _Everything was blurry as I watched her lift a hand to caress his cheek one last time. Her voice was rough, from the blood leaking into her lungs. She was dying from suffocation._

_"So pretty… I always thought… you were so pretty." She turned her face to mine, and her expression was sorry. It hurt terribly, because she could find no words for me. Rin loved me, and I would always know she loved me, but it was nothing compared for the love that she had grown for my cousin in the years they'd had together. Blood trickled around the corner of her mouth. "Sor…"_

_I stood, frozen, staring at her body, trying to adjust to the way Sesshoumaru was cradling her, was calling her name. Finally, I stepped forward, and raised my voice. "Use Uncle's sword! Bring her back! Bring her back, Sesshoumaru!"_

_"I can't." He gently let go of her, laying her down on the ground of the shrine reverently. _

_His face was stern, the grief locked away already, but mine was turning into an anger of disbelief. "Cure you! You can have her! I'll walk away, just do it! Bring her back!"_

"_I _can't_!" _

_I gave him a hard shove. "What do you want me to do? Beg!?"_

_He pushed me back, so hard that with my tears in the way, I stumbled to the ground, laying there sobbing. "Listen to me, you fool. I already brought her back once. The magic will not work on the same person more than once. Rin is dead."_

_The words hung there, impossible for words spoken with such weight. My cousin blinked. "Rin is dead… and it was_ your_ stroke that killed her."_

"_All you had to do was let her leave," I hissed. "Instead I find you two _kissing_!" I lifted myself up of the ground, drying my tears on the back of my sleeve, and drew my short sword._

The hilt felt _good_ in my hand. "Nothing! You let me have _nothing_ growing up, Sesshoumaru! I asked for nothing from you, save for her, and you couldn't even give me that!"

I was furious, blinded by grief and pain. I lashed out with my sword and struck my cousin on his arm. Blood began leaking down his arm, a red ribbon against his pristine white clothes. His front was already covered in red speckles from Rin.

All I had ever wanted was Rin. All I'd ever asked of him was her. He had let me have her because he had not wanted her, but as soon as I had her, he wanted her back. He was not content to let me love her. She was like a treasured trophy that, once gone, had left an empty hole in his life, but did he stop to think that I loved her? No.

Selfish prick!

The pain from the wound sparked my cousin into a response. We came body to body and his free hand grasped my throat and flung me into a wall. I lay on the ground coughing as my wounded wind pipe took a moment to close, fighting to breathe. He advanced on me slowly, using his words as a weapon.

"Don't get mad at _me_, Hatsuhana! You're the one that killed her! It was _your_ sword through her heart, _not mine_!"

"You son a whoring _bitch_!"

We sprang at each other, our swords forgotten. We had gone beyond swords. We wanted nothing more than to _feel_ the flesh rend under our nails, to bruise flesh under our fists, to feel the bones snap and the sinews twist. Our fight was a blur of punches and claws, teeth snapping at each other's necks when we came in too close. We threw each other into walls, into furniture, through windows, until one of us struck the candles, knocking them over.

Flames began licking at the walls of the shrine, along the floor, searching for fuel. We thought nothing of it, as our fight consumed us and pulled us out of the burning shrine. I remember flying through the air when Sesshoumaru pushed me, landing on the roof of a freshly reconstructed hut. My cousin had changed forms and had launched me from the hill on which the shrine was located. I responded by getting back on my feet and responding in kind.

There was no fury like what we felt for each other. We didn't care that we were fighting through the very village we had fought to save, trampling houses and people. We didn't care that the shrine was on fire, and Rin's dead body there burning with it. We were furious, blinded by bloodlust, and it would not be sated until one of us was willing to surrender, and so we continued to fight, right out into the village, into the forest, back and forth as we gave and took ground.

We were both bleeding from many wounds, and I was the first to begin to falter. Long claws had opened my shoulder, my neck, and torn an ear from off my head. I was standing on shaking legs, but my pride would not yet allow to give up. My cousin looked nearly as bad, and I felt that if I could hang on for just a little longer, he would concede first.

As I stood across from him, watching his spittle turn red from my blood coating his fangs, I realized the futility of it all.

Even if I won, it wouldn't bring Rin back.

I collapsed on the hillside. We were so far away from the village that the smoke from the burning shrine was nothing more than a thin spire of black clouds. Nothing could bring Rin back, and once that thought had pierced through my anger, I was consumed by the grief and the loneliness. I didn't want to live without her. I thought there was no way that I could ever get over her, learn to love another. I leaned my neck back, laying on my side, and waited for the bite to come, waited for his jaws to close around it and bite down.

But my cousin just stood over, panting and bleeding. His tongue comically lolled out of one corner of his mouth. One eye had been closed from a scratch, though in time I knew it would heal. I lifted my head to snarl at him, telling him to do it, but he ignored me. That nearly spiked my anger again. I could accept it if he didn't kill me, but at least he should _acknowledge _that I had lost! Ignoring me was a new kind of pain, one that struck deep and hard, and I didn't like it.

Growling at him again, he kept ignoring me, and kept at it so long I began falling back into myself. The body I was in had no way to express the things I was feeling, the wounds that Sesshoumaru's gaze did nothing but continually reopen. His gaze was stripping everything away from me: my anger, my fangs, my claws, my composure...

I lay on the ground, sobbing and crying, yelling at him, trying in vain to latch on to something to keep myself from displaying these emotions to my cousin. "Damn you! You were supposed to kill me! I _yielded_ to you, damn it! I _yielded_!"

I could no longer find the anger. All I could find was the emptiness that was withering away everything I had been.

Slowly, Sesshoumaru resumed a human form so that he could talk. His voice was a cold lash meant for striking the most vulnerable parts of me, and it worked. "You're pathetic. Not even fit for calling 'cousin'. This is how you mourn for her? This is what you have learned in all your great travels? To _cry_? To weep and moan like a mewling human brat?"

"You don't understand!" Pathetic, but the only answer I could give.

"I don't need to understand. Get out. Get out of my country, and never return." He turned, and began walking away. I couldn't stand seeing him walking away. I hated him for walking away. I couldn't stand him shunning me.

"She was pregnant, you arrogant asshole!" The announcement, not the name calling, stopped and made him glance over his shoulder at me. There was no sign of surprise in those eyes, those _cold_ eyes, but I knew I had caught him off guard. "She was _pregnant_. Don't you see? It was _yours_, Sesshoumaru. It was _yours._"

He said nothing. He just stared at me, open disgust on his face for my tears and mourning, and then he turned and walked away. He disappeared into the horizon, but the cry that followed a second later haunted everyone. In that moment, I knew that despite the way he hated me, despite Rin's fears, he would have loved that child... because it was Rin's.

It took me until years later to understand that he hated me because, unlike him, I was capable of mourning for her openly.

* * *

I should have left immediately, following my cousin's orders, but I could not. I could not let the fire that _I_ started tear through the village Rin and I had fought so hard to save. I raced back, finding everyone in the village lifting buckets, passing them along, trying in vain to put out the fire. Arashi-sama, her voice shaking with emotion, finally told them to give up and to wet the grass along the hillside, to keep the fire from spreading. I changed forms again and carried water in my jaws, and I could hear the fire hiss from the great drops of my blood that landed in its heart.

There was nothing left of the shrine when the fire finally settled. Arashi-sama had been kind enough to bind my arms, but the villagers all looked at me with a mixture of fear and hatred in their eyes. They hated me for the destruction I had caused, and feared I would cause more. I searched through the debris, and found nothing of Rin. There was nothing to prove we had been there at all save for a single sword, with not a speck of dirt on it. I gave my cousin's sword to Shippo, and asked for it to be returned.

Arashi-sama followed me as I cut through the village to find our belongings—mine and Rin's. She would not need it now, but I could not part with her belongings yet. They still smelled of her. As I peeked inside one and saw her favourite kimono, I knew that it would be hazardous to bring it with me. They would remind me of Rin, but it had been my cousin who had paid for everything she owned. I left them the clothing there for Arashi-sama and Kissaki. The priestess took one look at my face and assumed the worst.

She was right.

I placed a hand on her shoulder and smiled at her weakly, trying to reassure her that I would be alright.

And then I walked away. I did not know where I would go, but I had been ordered by my lord never to return to Japan again, and I was more than happy to oblige in his final command to me.

* * *

_That was the last time I ever saw Hatsuhana. One of my biggest regrets in life was always that I could not find anything of comfort to give him in return. I could not tell him that he would learn to get over Rin, because that wasn't what he wanted to hear, and because I was not sure he ever could. Demons, I have learned over the years, are much more passionate in all things than humans. Kirara still protects our line instead of finding a male cat-demon and making her own family. Shippo still stands watch at the tree for the day when Kaede-chan is released, and Sesshoumaru-sama, perhaps in his own grief for Rin, has become the leader of what will surely become a golden age of history._

_I distinctly remember Shippo turning to me, his tail quivering. I held my arms open for him and found comfort in him, my not-so-baby brother. He was so much smaller than me, but he had been given wisdom beyond even my years. I looked to where the shrine once stood. "What do we do now, brother? The war is over, the demons have retreated, and the shrine is gone."_

_For a sweet moment, I thought I could stop being a priestess. I thought of Tetsuya-sama, and the unspoken affection between us. I thought that perhaps I could find enough of my parents in me to walk up to him and kiss him. It would be a good kiss, I thought, the kind from the stories Kagome would tell us where everything ended with a happily ever after._

_Poor Hatsuhana, I thought, shaking off fanciful daydreams. Where is his happily ever after? _

_Of course I could not give up being a priestess. It was what I was. I was a leader of my village, a woman of power, a spiritual pillar. The shrine could be destroyed a hundred times, so long as I remained, there would be someone here to fight off future demons and to pray for the safety and security of our village. _

_"We will rebuild the shrine," Shippo said._

_"Of course we will," I agreed._

_He lifted himself in my arms, staring past the hill in the distance, to where Goshinboku stood straight at tall, with Kaede still trapped inside of it, asleep. His puffy tail shook, and his face settled. "We will rebuild it closer to the tree and the well, where we can keep an eye on both until the day Kagome comes back to reopen the well. We'll build it around the tree, so that we can look out the window and see Kaede any time we want, and maybe, just maybe, she'll be able to know that we were watching over her, too."_

_I gave him a great hug, and kissed his orange hair. "You are the smartest little big-brother ever, Shippo." He gave me back, a great big hug, and I smiled._

_Kissing Tetsuya-sama sounded wonderful, but I had all the love I needed from Shippo and Kissaki. I looked at Rin's belongings, and set my brother down so that I could begin to sort through it. There were many poor, and I could not think of anyone who would appreciate her clothes more, nor anyone else Rin would want to have it. She was always so willing to share, I thought she might smile upon the idea. Wrapped up in her kimono, I found this journal, and added my own voice to it, and Kissaki added hers. I have tucked it away for safekeeping, and one day, I intend to give it back to Sesshoumaru-sama. He will no doubt live for many more centuries, and it will be he who can keep this journal, and a special woman's memories for all those who need it in the future._

_Signed,_

_Arashi, Priestess of the one-day Higurashi shrine of Tokyo, Japan_

_

* * *

_

The mother of all AN:

So, I wanted to address some things I did in this story... either to get them off my chest or else to stimulate my mind, I don't really know.

How come Sesshoumaru's arm suddenly came back partway through the story?

I started writing this back when he only had one arm. After they changed that in the graphic novels, I did the same. I felt that how and why he gets his arm back really reinforced this interpretation of Sesshy: that being that while he tries to be a hard ass, he's capable of such deep emotion that it would literally tear him apart inside if he let it out... and that Rin has helped him learn how to love through her childish innocence.

How come Hatsushana didn't save her body?

You mean how come he didn't sit there wailing while holding her dying body? Totally overdone. And because his primary reaction was anger, not rage. He wanted someone to blame, so he blamed Sesshoumaru.

Why can/did Hatsuhana cry and Sesshy can't?

Hatsuhana is meant to be a foil for Sesshy. Sometimes, they are very similar (for example, they both have a very strict code of right and wrong, even though what they both consider 'right' and 'wrong' is different), but because of his travels, Hatsuhana has a much more open mind than his cousin. Plus, he doesn't have to worry about a court watching him for any sign of weakness, so he doesn't fight back the tears at all. Sesshoumaru does, and because these demons see displaying emotions as a sign of fragility, he keeps it in. At this point, I really pity Sesshy, because he wants so badly to mourn openly, but is so paranoid about keeping his political power that he considers his own cousin a threat and won't mourn with him.

Why does Hatsuhana call him Sesshy and get away with it?

It bugged me that we always seemed to be shown Sesshy as a tight-ass. At some point he must have been a kid. I wanted to introduce a character that was so close that was able to tease him and be a kid with him. I wanted to be able to compare the idea of a five-year old Sesshy playing with clay figurines with his cousin against the man whose lack of a family and hatred was so strong that that same cousin would be forced to run away to protect his own life.

Sesshoumaru would never really accept Kaede!

Maybe, but if Sesshy was really so cold that he would punish a teenage girl just for having been born, I would never have written this story. He might not have _much_ of a soft side, but he does have a flair for the dramatic, and he has a sense of justice. His anger is targeted at Inuyasha, and only Inuyasha. Naraku was the kind of bad guy who was willing to use innocent people to hurt his enemies. Sesshoumaru may be brutal, but that brutality will always be a full-frontal assault on his target, and not using someone else.

Why doesn't this story have a happy ending?

Because sometimes you don't get happy endings.

Coming soon (one day): the epilogue.


	24. Epilogue

Epilogue

I narrowly escaped France when the revolution started.

I rode on the great steam engines across Europe.

I visited the New World and learned the allure of unexplored land. I found the mountains in the west and spent my remaining years there, where I could look out across the ocean and pretend, just for a moment, that I could see Japan. I escaped when people tried to tell me I was less than nothing because of the color of my hair, or my accent, or the shape of my eyes, though I could have changed my shape and eaten them whole.

I watched as Prident JFK was assassinated. I was still alive when Ghandi was killed, and fighters imprisoned for refusing to join in wars. I watched the smoke rise from Europe as wars ravaged the land I knew, and wept in sorrow when the war was brought to the land I loved so much. But my cousin's words were law, and even when the bombs went off and I felt the land I loved cry out for me, I did not return home.

As I sat, old enough now that my hair was thinning and my hands shook occasionally, I watched the television as the Berlin Wall was torn down. People that had been separated for decades had been reunited. That was when I knew it was time to return home, to Japan, and to Sesshoumaru.

In the time that I had secluded myself away, the world had changed greatly. Communication was nearly instantaneous, with the telephone. People were much more cultured, traveling around the world in ease and luxury. The humans had multiplied, had spread unchecked throughout the land, and our people had slowly withered. We could not adapt to them, to the humans, fast enough. We aged too slow, reproduced too slowly. Two or three human generation could go buy before a demon child was old enough to reproduce, and in that time, the humans had adapted themselves to disease and technology. We were being bred out by the humans.

Despite wanting to go, I did not arrive in Japan until the year 1990. The port hand changed drastically. I wanted nothing more than to put my bare feet to ground and _feel_ the dirt between my toes, to once again know that I was home, and yet I could not see dirt in sight.

I hailed a taxi after I collected my bags. I wondered how long it would be until Sesshoumaru-sama felt me in his country... if he still lived. Had he been there when the bombs were dropped during the Second World War? Was he still here? Had he been killed fighting to keep the throne he'd sacrificed everything to keep?

As we drove through Tokyo, I suddenly ordered the driver to slow down as we passed a shrine on a hill. I could still remember the shrine, still remember how it smelled as it burned down. This was not the same building, but the tree beside it was the same. In a heartbeat, the memories returned, of a night ceremony to seal a girl into a tree, and of the woman beside me who reminded me of tiger lilies.

"Does it have a well?"

"What?" The drive was confused.

I pointed a finger at the shrine. "Does the shrine have a well?"

"How the hell should I know?"

I bit my tongue to keep from growling at the man. The world changed, and people still remained unfriendly. "Do you know the name of the shrine, at least, so that I could come back and see it some other time?"

He shrugged. "I don't know the name, but the Higurashi's keep it."

"Higurashi..." It had been so long since I'd heard that name, but Kaede's face immediately came to mind. Was she free of the tree yet? Had her mother been born? If I went up to touch that tree, could I find a heartbeat within? I sat back into my seat. "Thank you."

My hotel room was sparse. I hung up the few clothes I owned and then ventured downstairs to get the newspaper before I again retreated into my room. I had a morning coffee and read the investment section of the paper. I searched the paper for signs of demons—people walking away unharmed from car crashes, long-lived philanthropists, and more—but there was no sign. How did I begin to go about looking for Sesshoumaru when I did not know what name he used?

_The first stop, _I thought to myself, _is to go to the shrine we passed and see what they can tell me. Perhaps if I walk, I might encounter something along the way._

I showered quickly, and inspected myself in the mirror. For my age, and despite the weakness I felt in my body, I still looked young. I wore my hair long and still tied into a trim braid. People had tried to make me cut it off before as a sign of shame and conforming, but I refused. Women seemed to like it, playing with it when offered the chance, but I had only passing interests in mortal women, and none in demon females. My skin bore faint wrinkles, and I walked with a bit of a limp, but my senses were good. I lifted a hand and fingered one of the ears covered by my braid. The scar tissue was still there, a ragged line from when my cousin had torn off my ear.

All right, nearly all my senses were good.

I set off in the direction of the shrine and the Goshinboku. I could not recognize the world around me as Japan. Where were the rice fields? Where were the huts and the young demon slayers practicing in the streets? Where were the hens and the animals? I had known that time had not left my homeland untouched, but whenever I thought of it, I saw the village as it was when I had first met Rin.

The shrine was deserted, save for an old man sweeping a porch. I could smell a family. The shrine did not get much traffic, it seemed, but when the old man spotted me, he merely waved and went about his business. A fat cat wandered by up to the house without a second glance at me, and I turned my attention to the tree.

It had been so long since I had seen it, I could not tell if it had grown significantly or not. A border had been put around it, and with old man in the vicinity, I dare not step over it to touch the tree, though I longed to. I wondered, for a moment, if I were to touch the tree and think of Rin with all my heart, could it send me back to her time? Could I return to those few weeks when we were together and I was happy? But even if it could, I would still be an old man.

I closed my eyes and basked in the presence of the Goshinboku. I could hear the trees rustling, whispering to me, though I could not make out the words. Slanted sunlight struck my face, warming me. I could almost hear the distant voice of the past. I could almost…

"I'm glad you like our tree," said a young voice. I turned at the sound, startled. While I had been distracted, a young girl had snuck up on me. Hands clasped behind her back, wide blue eyes and a cheeky smile, she looked the picture of innocence, but it was the voice that captured me. It had been so long, but I could still hear how similar it was to Kaede's voice. "Is the tree talking to you, too? Sometimes I like to stand here and listen to it. Don't tell Grandfather, but sometimes I even walk up to it and hug it, and no matter how bad a day I've had, it makes me feel better."

"I think the tree was talking to me, but I don't know what it was saying."

"Try asking the tree a question. That helps some people. If they come here for something specific, sometimes the tree will tell them the answer. Whenever I ask about anything, all it tells me is to wait. I ask if I'll pass math, and it says to wait. I ask if I'll find a boy, and it says to wait. I ask if it will rain tomorrow and it tells me to wait. I don't know what I'm waiting for." She kicked a rock and watched it tumble around in the dirt.

It was the voice which really reminded me of Kaede-chan, but as I watched her, I could imagine Kaede talking to Kissaki like that. I could imagine her kicking at rocks and worrying about life. I lifted my head, sniffing the wind for the scent of Inuyasha, and found none. There was no doubt that she was related to Kaede, but how?

"May I ask you your name?"

"I'm Kagome. Kagome Higurashi." She stuck out her small little hand, which I took with a nervous glance at the house. Didn't the grandfather care that a grown man was shaking hands with a little girl?

But maybe she was not that young. Human lifespans are so short, I have trouble telling them apart. I knew, as I shook her hand, I could not lie to her. "Hatsuhana," I said, though I had long ago stopped using that name. "You may call me Hatsuhana."

She grinned. "That's a pretty name."

She was Kaede's mother. I released her hand and gestured to the tree. "Do you ever talk to it?"

Kagome shrugged. "Sometimes I tell it my troubles," she admitted. "Sometimes I ask for advice."

I knelt down to be at her level, though my leg cramped in protest. "When you next sneak here to touch the tree, Miss Higurashi, would you do this visitor one small favor? Tell the tree about your day. No matter how inconsequential you think your day might have been, tell the tree about the weather, or school, would you?"

She didn't ask why. If she had, I do not know what I would have told her. How could I have told her that there was a being in the tree, locked inside until the day when Kagome would release her?

"I can do that for you, Mr. Hatsuhana."

"Thank you, and now it is time for me to take my leave. You have a beautiful home here, Miss Higurashi."

It was a beautiful home, and I would not inadvertently lead Sesshoumaru to it, in case he was still alive. As I returned to my hotel room, the city did not feel as lonely as it had before, knowing that Kaede was still asleep. It may, I think, have even given me a reason to live, so that I could be there when she woke up, and explain to them what happened after Kaede was sealed away.

* * *

Someone knocked on my door the following morning. I drew my wakazashi. Old habits die hard, and I had kept this one alive on purpose. The world was a dangerous place, and I could not always be guaranteed the privacy of being able to protect myself in my true form. I suppose I could have updated with the times and carried a fire arm, but they are so loud, and a short sword is swift and silent.

The tip wavered from the age of the hand holding it, but I opened the door a crack. A man appearing to be only a decade younger than I stood in the hallway. Bright green eyes looked suddenly feverish. "It _is_ you!" he said, unaware of the sword hidden by the door. "I thought I smelled you! Do you remember me? I would have been much shorter when we last met."

Indeed, I did remember him. I let the sword fall, taking in the green eyes and red hair, and faint freckles stubbornly lasting into adulthood. I smiled. "Shippou?"

"In the flesh!" he laughed, bounding into my room. He flung himself on the foot of the bed, leaving the chair for me. The twinkling in his eye suggested he knew I needed the back support. "How'd you get that kinky leg?" he asked, gesturing to my limp.

"It has been more than a hundred years since last you saw me, Shippou. I have fought many battles since then. Some I barely won."

He was abnormally quiet—but then, that is comparing him to the child demon I knew. This was a grown man before me, old enough to have children himself. I wondered if he'd found a nice female fox-demon to marry. "You didn't come here to try to trick Sesshoumaru into killing you, did you?"

"No."

"Oh." He perked up. "That's good. A lot of demons seek him out when they want to start a fight. They can't deal with all the rapid changes in the world, so they find him and pick a fight, knowing that even in his old age, he'd tear them apart. If you ask me, I think it makes him feel lonely. So what are you doing back in town? I thought he told you never to come back."

Shippou was still talkative. "It has been many years since we last spoke. I have not seen him since… since the night that Rin died. I did not even know if he was still alive. If he is, and we cannot mend this disagreement, I will leave again. If, however, we can put all this in the past, I would like to stay, and finish my life in my home. I've had enough of traveling."

The young man before me held his chin high, peering down at me. I disliked how well he read me. "Yeah, your cousin's still alive. He's made himself a nice profit over the year and spends his time secluded from everyone else. He owns a big mansion and hardly ever comes into town anymore. He has a bunch of human and demon minions that do things like grocery shopping for him. But if you ask them, they're chauffers and butlers and maids and domestic servants, _not_ minions."

I nearly smiled. "The names change, but the job description remains the same. He lives alone then?"

"I guess so. He's not married, if that's what you mean. He might have the odd servant that may spend a night or two there in case he needs them in the middle of the night, but you know him. He can't stand anyone's smell getting in the way." Shippou leaned back on the bed. "I think he'll be glad to see you. Sometimes I go and visit him, but he just barely puts up with me, because I was _there_, you know? All these other people, they weren't. There's not many of us around from the old days. I think, personally, that he's hanging around waiting for Inuyasha to wake up. Well, not wake up, but come and live here with Kagome and they can finally settle everything. He's had a long time to be by himself and think, and I think he's ready to forgive Inuyasha for being a half-breed. At least, I _hope_ he is. It would be a great detriment to his character if he couldn't forgive Inuyasha after _this_ many years, don't you think?"

"Shippou, I'm starting to think that you've barely aged a day," I laughed.

He grinned. "I've married, settled down somewhere close to the shrine so I can keep an eye on Kaede and the shrine like I promised Arashi. It's been great fun over the years. I've played a number of pranks on people there, and tried to help them, too. Eventually people forgot about the kitsune that used to guard the tree. I became a fancy and a myth, but I never gave up watching for her. I have a son now, too. He's put some life back in my batteries."

"Congratulations, Shippou! You're happy then?"

He almost nodded, and then stopped. He stared out the window, and those eyes became haunted. His loquaciousness hid many scars, and I could not begin to imagine them. "My boy, he makes me happy, but it was hard, Hatsuhana. It was so hard. I had to watch them all die. Kissaki, Kohaku, Tetsuya, Arashi… their children… their children's children. The only thing consistent in my life became Sesshoumaru, and Ayama and Kouga. They would all come to check up on me, and they never seemed to age. I did, until after puberty when the aging became barely noticeable again. If it wasn't for them, I would have gone mad long ago. Every time a child got a cold or was in bed with a fever I would wonder 'Is this it? Am I going to dig another grave?'"

"Shippou, if you don't mind telling me, how did they die? Kissaki, and Tetsuya and Arashi-sama. How did they die?"

"Arashi-sama died an old, woman, at least by our standards." He smiled faintly. "She died in the heat of battle. She never married, but neither did Tetsuya-sama. He died only a few years later, of a stroke. Kissaki… she didn't make it very long after you left Japan. She was always so proud, you know. Her hands shook whenever she picked up a weapon. She could never get over what Cook did to her. She found a nice man, and had a child with him, but could not settle down. So one day she gave the baby to Arashi, told her to look after him, and then went and hung herself on the Goshinboku."

"Shippou…"

He looked up, and tears clung to his lashes. "You don't understand. Without the ability to fight, she felt she was nothing. She was a warrior, and always had been. She didn't know how to be a mother, how to be anything but a demon slayer. When she healed and found that had been taken from her, she was a shadow. You would talk to her, but it was like there was nothing there. She didn't hear you, couldn't stand to be touched. I think she hung on long enough to give Arashi and Tetsuya the family they had always wanted to have, but were too dedicated to give up their vows for. The two of them raised the baby like their own."

"And that child?"

Shippou smiled, and this time it was happy. "He became a great leader and had many, many children. He was assassinated at a young age, but he did great things in our little village, and all of his children survived. He was a dedicated father with his mother's skill with a sword, but Arashi's temperament and Tetsuya's patience."

I shook my head. "Ah, Shippou. Is there nothing happy on our lives? Are there ever any happy endings?"

"Sure. I just have to remember them when they were young. I remember the first time they called me 'brother', or when they learned to read and write, or their wedding days. I remember all the good they did. Of course, the other answer is no, because nothing ever ends, but if you want _my_ answer... people die. Yes, sometimes it's horrible and tragic, like Kissaki. But no matter what, people die. What's important is how they lived, and my friends led happy lives." He rose and dug into his pocket, pulling out a sheet of paper with an address on it. "And maybe, just maybe _you_ might be able to find _your_ happy ending there. That's his address. Just don't show up before he's had his morning tea."

* * *

A human opened the door, a girl. With her round, soft face, she looked terrified. "Does Mr. Shiroishi know you're coming?"

Shiroishi. So Sesshoumaru, like me, had had to change his name now and then to keep from becoming discovered. I shook my head no. "I just got into town the day before yesterday. The address was given to me by a mutual acquaintance of ours. Is that a problem?"

The woman at the door huffed. "Mr. Shoroishi is a very busy man. I will take you to the parlor and see if we can fit you in some time today. If not, then you will have to make an appointment to come and see him."

"That's fine."

She led me to the parlor. There was a heavy wooden desk in one corner of the room, European in style. A sedan and a couch surrounded a coffee table in another corner. There was little reminiscent of the palace I remembered. There were no tatami mats, or low tables, or writing brushes. But there was one thing. The parlor had sliding doors leading out to a patio, and in the garden, carefully tended, were tiger lilies.

I slid one of the doors open, and their gentle scent wafted toward me. I inhaled deeply. "Rin…"

The door the parlor slammed shut. Sesshoumaru's sudden presence in the room felt like an icy breeze on the back of my neck. "I _thought_ I told you never to return," he growled.

I turned. He'd used hair dye to change his appearance, making him look younger than he really was. That way, he could age gracefully as "Mr. Shiroishi" and then make another persona once that person "died".

"It's been so long, cousin, and so much has happened, that I didn't even know if you were still alive."

"I'm alive. Now get out."

I huffed. "Yes, I can see that you're alive. I can also see that you've lost your arm again. What happened this time?"

My tone was cruel, but he glanced at the missing arm, and then answered truthfully. Maybe he did that because he knew that the truth would hurt me. "I tried to help defend the country when the American troops invaded at the end of the Second World War. A bomb took it off. I consider myself lucky. The man beside me lost both legs from it." He slid into his seat, suddenly old and weary. "Do you remember the wars we used to have? I thought it atrocious back then, with rotting carcasses left in the sun and horses killed, women and children mere casualties. This style of fighting is no different, but the difference is it all happens so _fast_. There's no chance to evacuate, even for we demons. A bomb drops, and everything is quiet, until your ears clear from the blast and then all you hear is the screaming."

"I… I hid during the wars. When I found out that America was going to begin enlisting, I left for Canada, only to find out that they were rounding up Japanese Canadians for camps in case they were spies. So I left and headed for Alaska. The whole world fought and killed each other and I stayed in the mountains as a dog demon, eating polar bears."

My cousin stared at me, and then he smiled, very faintly. "Then you were the smart one." He slipped into the seat behind the desk. I took one of the chairs, and the door stayed open, letting the scent of tiger lilies breeze in. "So, polar bears? How do they taste?"

"They're very fatty. So you no longer rule here?"

"I have not for many years. The human numbers swelled, and it was the end for us, but I had given up control long before that. My son took over."

"Your son?"

He shook his head. "Don't look at me like that, cousin. I've outlived him. He was in…" Sesshoumaru could not say the words. I took an educated guess.

"Nagasaki?"

"Hiroshima. It's a sad day when a man out lives his own child. What about you? Have you any children?"

There was a note of a hope there—the hope of an old, tired demon seeking some kind of comfort. "Sadly, I never found anyone else whom I loved enough to want to start a family. If you have no one else… than it is only you and I left, Sesshy."

He snorted. "Pathetic. The once proud line, brought down to two old men and, some day in the future, a half-breed and their prodigy. Would you like me to have some tea brought in for us?"

"I think, given the topic of conversation, I would like something stronger."

"It's never too early for sake, is it? I'll have them warm up a bottle. Wait here."

"Does this mean that you're not going to try to kill me for disobeying your orders, Sesshy?"

He stopped in the doorway. Slowly, he turned, and this time he was smiling widely. It had taken him several hundred years, but he'd finally learned to let his sense of humor show. "I suppose that I _could_ always be going to get my sword. I guess that you'll just have to trust me, won't you?"

Despite myself, I laughed. He would not get his sword. We were all alone, he and I, the last of a dying line. I inspected the room, and I found a picture on his desk. It was a small painting, the size of a regular photograph. Whoever the artist was, he had described to them Rin's favourite kimono, the orange one. The detail in it was painstaking and perfect. I stroked the curve of her cheek and stared a moment longer before lifting my head to stare out at the gardens.

The door opened. A maid carried in the warm sake and the bowls. If she thought it wrong to be drinking so early, she did not show it. Setting the sake down on the coffee table, she curtseyed faintly and then left.

He saw the photograph in my hands and stopped, as if I would break it out of jealousy. I watched his face. There was nothing fierce in his eyes. "The work in this is beautiful."

"Thank you."

"You painted it, Sesshy?"

He shrugged. "How else could I have gotten the face and the clothing just right? How could I describe her well enough that someone else could have captured the gentleness of her eyes and the stubbornness of her chin or the shyness of her mouth?"

I set the photograph back on the desk. "You still love her, don't you?"

"Rin was the first person who showed me kindness. I will always love her for that."

"Bullshit. I showed it to you, too. Don't you remember us being children together? We fought as partners, Sesshy. I was always there to watch your back."

"It was not the same." Sesshoumaru saw I did not believe him, so he continued. "You fought beside me, yes. But after father died, we could not trust each other. You could not trust me that I would not turn on you and remove you from the competition for the throne. I could not trust that you would not stab me in the back while you guarded it. So you left. She loved me unconditionally. She trusted me."

"I haven't even been here an hour. Are we going to fight again already?"

He handed me a warm cup. "Isn't that what old men do? Bicker?"

"Old man my ass. If you had a sword on you right now, this could easily lead to a swordfight. Even if you didn't we could still wipe out a fair portion of Tokyo if we were to change forms and fight. I have only one thing to ask of you."

"What's that?"

"Could you paint me a picture of Rin?"

He stared at me a moment, and then those eyes lined with age softened. He nodded, and we drank our sake, drowning ourselves in memories as we talked. We both still loved Rin, but we would not fight over who loved her more. We could no longer afford out pissing contests, as the current vernacular so eloquently phrases it. We were all that was left in the world. All we had now was each other.

I remembered being children with him, baring our teeth and fighting side by side. He was right. I had not trusted him then. I would have no longer been able to fight beside him without having to check my own back and ensure he was doing his job. Now that it was just he and I, there was no one I trusted more.

"I have almost forgotten. I have something for you." He rose and went behind the desk, revealing a safe hidden by a painting. He opened it, and drew out a package wrapped carefully in brown paper. Sesshoumaru set it down before me. "Open it."

Inside was a glass box. Preserved within it was a very old, very familiar, journal.

"Your voice is still needed to finish it and fill in some of the blanks. Once it is done, we will transcribe it, and I will find a publisher for it. Her voice will not be forgotten."

I did not know what to say. When I looked up, I saw he understood. I did not need to say anything.

"Your family is really fucked up, you know that, Sesshy?"

He laughed, long and hard. I wish that Rin could have heard it, but I think that somehow, she did.

* * *

_Several years later..._

_"The sword!" she gasped. "Inuyasha, where's Tetsusaiga?" _

_His face fell, suddenly looking older than it did. There were crow's feet at the corner of his eyes and the laugh lines lining his mouth. His voice was bitter when he spoke. "I don't know where it is. The only other person who can hold Tetsusaiga is a human, or a half… She took it with her…" Realizing what that meant he looked both angry and confused. "Kaede only takes that sword when she does through the well! That stupid bi…" The word died in his throat when Kagome shot him a look that could have killed even a full-blooded demon. Inuyasha controlled his anger, but barely. "If the sword is missing, it means she's gone through the well, but how did she go through?"_

_"She went through before the well was sealed, obviously."_

_"Then the question is not where has she gone, but how do we get her back from five hundred years in the past when the well is sealed from the other end?"_

_Kagome began to look a little hopeful. "The mask! A… and the demons! Inuyasha! Remember the mask? And that big floating demon thing that looked like a baby chicken playing a flute?" Inuyasha looked at her like she was insane. "Demons exist nowadays as they do back then, and things can be sealed! You were sealed, and so was the mask, and that sword we had, the one that possessed you! Maybe Kaede is sealed up somewhere!"_

_It seemed like a long stretch, but Inuyasha just looked plain pissed at the idea. They all watched until his face paled to the point where his silver hair began looking darker than his skin. Kagome clutched at his red shirt frantically, leaning on his for support both physically and spiritually. Inuaysha's hands had dropped from her as if her skin had burned him. He even avoided her eyes, and they were surprised to hear his voice sound so feral._

_"Don't suggest such a thing," he snapped. Kagome opened her mouth to argue, but his voice grew louder. "Don't! I don't want to hear it! My baby is not sealed away somewhere, do you understand me, Kagome? I was awake for those fifty years! I could feel everything, every drop of rain that fell on me, every bug that landed on my nose that I couldn't fight off, every mosquito bite, every comment that someone made while passing by me… it was torture enough for fifty years! Do you really want our daughter to have gone through all of that for ten times that amount of time?"_

_"No… no…" Kagome said, shaking. He bottom lip began to shake. Inuyasha stared at her and then crushed his wife to his chest fiercely, promising that he would find Kaede, even if it killed him._

_"I know where she is," said Shippou. "Kagome's right. She is sealed away. In there." He pointed at the Goshinboku._

_Kagome frowned stubbornly, staring at the tree, thinking. "I know how to get her out of that tree." _

_"Are you certain?"_

_"Yes… Haven't you noticed that unsealing things and purifying things seem to be my specialty?" she joked. I watched as Kagome began to turn the slightest shade of glowing, glittering pink. She slowly walked forward, arms outstretched. She slowly reached for the tree… and, like a ghost, her arms passed right through the tree. _

_I watched in awe as Kagome reached into the tree, and then began to step back. Inuyasha cried out his daughter's name when he saw his daughter, possessed by the same ethereal pink glow which had surrounded Kagome, emerge from the tree, held in the hands of his wife. His bare feet skidded on the ground as he rushed to the tree._

_"Kaede!"_

_Kagome fell to the ground as she finished pulling her daughter from the tree. Kaede fell with her. She was crying, breathing heavily. She was brushing her daughter's hair as Inuyasha came to a stop beside them, falling over them and crying silently. Kaede was clutching the sword in her hands. He tore it form her grasp and flung it to the side, checking his daughter over for injuries and holding her hands. When she suddenly yawned, everyone jumped, even Inuyasha. Kaede finished yawning and then stared up at her parents._

_"Daddy," she said, making Inuyasha cry harder. Kaede reached out a hand and touched her father's cheek. She was every bit as alive, young, and healthy, as she had been when she had disappeared. "Daddy, don't cry. I'm sorry I took the sword without asking you. I just wanted to practice making the sword transform. I didn't mean to get caught back in the Sengoku Jidai! But I had the most amazing time there, Daddy!"_

Inuyasha stroked her hair, kissing her forehead. "I'm sure you did, honey, I'm sure you did."

"I wasn't awake, you know. Don't worry. Arashi sealed me well. It seems like... only a minute ago, it was _them_ here, you know? Arashi, and Kissaki, and Rin, and Hatsuhana."

Kagome gave her head a shake, puzzlement masking the relief for a moment. "Hatsuhana? Who is that?"

Kaede-chan smiled up at her mother. "Can I tell you over ramen and ice cream? I know that I just went missing a few hours ago, but it's been months since I've had ramen and ice cream." As her parents laughed and nodded, Kaede could not help but stare up at her father, whom she idolized, and saw so much of his brother in him. She wondered if Sesshoumaru and Hatsuhana were still alive in the current world, and vowed at that moment that one day, she would find them, and reunite her broken family.

* * *

Fin

AN: The final section about Kaede was added after I read some reviews which wanted to know what happened to her. The parts in italics are, for the most part, copied and pasted from _Comrades in Arms, _which originaly introduced Kaede's character and her going missing.

Thank you all for your wonderful comments. I sincerely hope that you have all enjoyed it!


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